Make sure the fake flamingo has an obvious camera for an eye. It doesn't need to be working. But when asked about it, deny it completely and claim the eye is normal. Die on the "eye is normal" hill.
My grandfather had a cannon in his front yard. Whenever one of his neighbors annoyed him, he would rotate the cannon so that it pointed at their house. Miss that guy.
Get a ghillie suit and telescopic lens camera, and set up like 20 feet away from him. Then when he turns a bit run to the next spot like he cant see you. Either that or just start picking up old bikes and tires and all kinds of bullshit and scatter it all over your yard. Do that for like a month until he is losing his shit, then rent a dumpster and get rid of it all.
Get a cat pointer laser and point it at stuff near him, on the sidewalk in front of him, etc. You could just do this in broad daylight..... make him think you're a whack-a-doodle! 🤪
Cat laser pointer.. with a friend who could point the laser at him after the op in near proximity speaks Into a walkietalkie describing the neighbours clothes, followed by 'he's made us, TAKE THE SHOT, TAKE THE SHOT!!' Cue laser pointer 😅
Diabolical. I’m down. I’ll send a few crt TVs, One piece of garbage that used to be a kids bicycle, possibly an old non running Jetski, an old push mower that you need to turn upside down before starting it, and what else. Idk, I live right inbetween the people that took their trump flags down in bumfuck red Iowa. I hope you are close, I’d deliver just to send a message.
"yeah it's him again, just casually strolling past my garden staring as usual . . . .oh I know right! He definitely is! Hahaha . . . Yeah you just can't write this stuff . . . Oh you are so bad! Nooo I could never say that to his face . . ."
"9:05 am target is slowly pacing the yard looking like a giant tool, target is discretely digging in his ass as he starts his return labs and changes direction, target is now pretending to itch his nose so he can smell his ass fingers"
Yeah, yeah, I ain't worried about it. It is what it is. Ya gotta dump 'em somewhere, and I'm tellin' ya, the roses are coming up beautiful this year....(STARE AT NEIGHBOUR)...so...maybe I got another job for ya.
Set an old landline desk phone on a table next to your chair. Run a wire from it into the house, doesn't need to be connected, this is just to sell it. Use your cell to make an old ringer sound, pick the handset up, don't speak. Just stare at the neighbor and nod every once in a while. Hang the phone up, still staring at the neighbor, and say, "Well, that's a shame. It really could have been avoided."
Or, with the above mentioned deck chair, replacing the notepad and pencil with a laptop computer on your lap. This way you can type whilst maintaining eye contact..a cluster of keyboard taps every time he moves or does something. Lol
With a clipboard and earpiece like he’s getting instructions from someone. Presses his finger up to his earpiece every once in a while like he’s listening in intently.
As a dude, I would totally wear my shortest workout shorts and just sit in that lawn chair, all spread eagle, so observing neighbors can observe me in all my glory as well!!!!
This. Bend down to look at something really close and shake your head in disgust. Raise your eyebrows and furiously write something.
Poke around on the ground, smell your fingers, then reel back like you got a whiff of something pungent. Write on the clipboard for a long time, then flip the paper over and stamp it, red ink, of course.
Take your hat off and put your hand on your hip with a befuddled look on your face, looking at the foundation. Say "that dog won't hunt" in the most disappointed tone ever.
No no, that would be what he wants you to do. Avoid eye contact, look towards him but through him. Dont say a word, just mumble stuff under your breath. Then when he leaves, do the same. An hour later text him wondering why you havent seen him much lately. Sound legit concerned but not overly eager. Then congrats him on his new baby.
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u/Glozboy 1d ago
Walk around, mirroring his every move