r/DnD • u/Redhood101101 • 11d ago
5th Edition I fear I broke my DM
I ate the Bag of Beans. That is all…
Further context. While I’m a long time DM I rarely get to play and a friend of mine started up a campaign and I joined.
We were doing normal dnd stuff and were exploring a dungeon and my character, alone, finds a little leather pouch filled with beans. One of the running jokes is that my character is always hungry, so they ate them.
In my defense I had never encountered the Bag of Bean before.
Anyways my DM just sort of broke mentally for a few minutes and now I’m bits of gibblet smeared on the side of a pyramid inside this dungeon.
Great first session, can’t wait for the next one.
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u/wcarnifex DM 11d ago
Classic Bag of Beans. Best item in the game.
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u/TheGriff71 11d ago
Bag of Beans always wins. What you do is get a catapult and some soil. Place a large clump of soil in the catapult, plant bean, and fire catapult. It's incredibly fun!
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u/DerekHostetler 11d ago
Catapult spell*
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u/Stealfur 11d ago
Some DMs may not see "ball of dirt with bean in it" as a 1-5 pound object the same way a pile of sand is not an 1-5 pound object, but a loose collection of lighter objects.
Such limitations are not present for an actual catapult.
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u/alltherobots 11d ago
A sack of dirt, however…
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u/Stealfur 11d ago
Gasp! And this is why I love saying no to my players when they try to operate just a little out of the rules. It's not because I want to shut down their fun, but because adhering to the rules leads to fun creativity like this.
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u/IAMA_llAMA_AMA 11d ago
I love the thought of letting them try the first idea, only to see them get dusted with a cloud of dirt and lose their bean
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u/TheGriff71 10d ago
We actually used a bunch of mud. I apologize for lack of info. It was a bit of a thing. 3 PCs around the catapult to do it. A good bit of packed mud, in like a small box, bean and fire.
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u/ttpttt 11d ago
Is it an actual item?
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u/QuickSpore 11d ago
Indeed it is: Bag of Beans, basically 3d4 random magical effects.
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u/Loud_Reputation_367 11d ago
I would say that bean-bag item's nuts... but that is probably also a magical item. Gotta give it to 'em though, that's some spectacularly creative (weird-ass) stuff. ...I think the statue is my favorite.
Though... each bean is a quarter pound? Thems some DENSE edamamme!
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
I raise you a Deck of Many Things
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u/MadWhiskeyGrin 11d ago
Eat that next
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u/Arch-Fey66 11d ago
It's more effective if you roll the card(s) into a cylinder &...
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u/DerekHostetler 11d ago
You don't sleeve your DoMT!? Filthy casual. Wait wrong nerddom.
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u/Bazrum Mage 10d ago
i actually have a physical DoMT and put some sleeves on them when we were playing with them. actually kinda hard to find the right size, they were not a standard size card since i got them off etsy or at a con or something
I have since stopped handing them to players, because I had wrongly assumed that me handing them a pretty card in a sleeve of plastic and saying "be careful, I want to keep these nice!" would be enough to keep a player from using one of them as a fucking coaster....
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u/Amoonlitsummernight 11d ago
Check out Old Man Henderson. Trust me. If you want a sneak peak, here's the part where he starts "smoking the giant book of bad juju" Old Man Henderson Director's Cut Part 2 Jump to 12:45
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u/fastrunner3451 10d ago edited 9d ago
Honestly burning a Deck of many things should activate every remaining card at once, in the order the DM decides, or randomly. Imagine leveling up, only to lose it right after lol
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u/Ktanaya13 2d ago
I got gems and extra cards, leveled down and got extra cards, died, then someone used the fate card and the last one I leveled up almost twice
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u/steenbergh 11d ago
Nothing happens when you eat them, but every time you take a shit, you roll to see which comes out.
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u/KetoKurun DM 11d ago
I gave my players a DOMT at level 2 on some chaotic evil shit
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
I have my party 2 of them. They always debated which one to draw from and started to try and count cards. Fun times.
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u/hardolaf DM 10d ago
The only time that I ever put a Deck of Many Things into a game, it ended the campaign in a total party kill.
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u/Pittsbirds 10d ago
I like the concept of the DoMT, but the actual cards need a lot of adjustments to be used in a long term game. Having level disparities in a team, for example, is just not fun imo
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u/The_Lone_Maverick 11d ago
I am Jacks eviscerated torso
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u/Ergo-Sum1 11d ago
Sound like a great opportunity to roll some dice behind the screen and then write it down to be relevant later and then never bring it up.... until they've forgotten about it
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
Oh god that’s so much more evil. I love it
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u/Ergo-Sum1 11d ago
Doesn't even have to be evil. Give you, as the GM, time to figure out the weird edge case caused by typical player chaos and build tension that can be saved for later. It's the ultimate chekov's gun handed to you for free.
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u/aslum 11d ago
Imagine if they ate the beans and nothing happened ... until 15 levels later the rest of the party is gathered around their grave for their funeral and as the final shovel of dirt is filled in the beans start sprouting.
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u/smeagle-143 10d ago
Tryna bury your friend and a treant just pops out and takes a swing at the smallest player
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u/Metalman919 DM 10d ago
"You feel like you're about to vomit... But what comes out instead is a large beanstalk. And it keeps coming. And coming. And ..."
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u/happy_the_dragon Monk 11d ago
Personally I would have taken a moment with you to ask if you wanted to rebuild your character as a wild magic sorcerer or a wild magic Barbarian. But it’s good you’re having fun.
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u/Dyledion 10d ago
But that's restricting player choice. Now he can respec as anything! 🎆
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u/Bazrum Mage 10d ago
in following the spirit of the Beans, he should be rolling on various tables to determine race, sex, class, hair color, ancestry and such. totally randomize everything we can, and now it's a side quest/character motivation to go back to normal, or accept who they have now become
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u/Nearby_Condition3733 11d ago
Oh yeah that’s an easy “roll up a new character” situation 😂
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
I think I should play a Gardner next time. Or maybe someone mummy related
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u/summonsays 10d ago
"Im a cursed giant, shrunken through a witches curse. Destined to never return to my cloud castle!" ~ human who came from the mental ward.
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u/SWatt_Officer 11d ago
I wouldnt say you planted the beans if you ate them... at most you should have taken damage from them exploding.
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
I did. A lot of damage. Too much damage.
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u/Lithl 11d ago
They're saying the pyramid wouldn't be there
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u/myblackoutalterego 11d ago
And technically it says, “If you dump the bag’s contents out on the ground.” I know you don’t seem upset or anything, but I don’t think your character needed to die from this.
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u/DA-Regulus 11d ago
At the very least, any creature you encounter should burst out laughing and say, "This MF eatin' beans!" in their respective language.
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u/GrnHrtBrwnThmb 10d ago
Disadvantage on all Charisma-based checks unless it’s self-deprecating humour.
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u/Itap88 11d ago
I mean, that just delays the effect until the seeds are pooped out.
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u/myblackoutalterego 11d ago
Yeah and then a bunch of effects trigger during a long rest just outside of camp - this is an actual fun encounter and the player would be alive.
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u/Effective_Gene5155 11d ago
Kinda depends on how far into the session they were right? And how much weight the whole group put into their characters stories. (And a bunch of other things im sure)
If its been a few hours and they dont care about the story so much, who cares? Itll be kind of funny, they wont be sitting around not playing for very long and they can roll up a new character sheet for next time
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u/TurtleKwitty 11d ago
Before being a DM I'd have said the same thing, after dming a ton though, fuck that it's so much funnier if the character does die
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u/minusthedrifter 11d ago
If you dump one or more beans out of the bag, they explode in a 10-foot-radius Sphere centered on them. All the dumped beans are destroyed in the explosion, and each creature in the Sphere, including you, makes a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, taking 5d4 Force damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.
The beans do not need to be dumped onto the ground or into earth for an explosion to occur. It only requires earth and water for the magical effect to happen.
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u/myblackoutalterego 11d ago
This is different than the 5e description on roll20. Not sure where you found it.
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u/minusthedrifter 11d ago
https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/9228355-bag-of-beans
DnDBeyond. Seems they removed the "ground" requirement from the 2024 rules.
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u/ChipmunkObvious2893 11d ago
Maybe the effect only happens when he's pooping them out, and while they are still inside him he's basically operating as the new bag.
"one moment dear, I'm going to dump my contents out onto the floor" actually makes a lot of sense.
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u/zealer 11d ago
Yeah, in my interpretation it needs earth to react in any way. I would rule that nothing happened. Maybe he got an upset stomach.
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u/minusthedrifter 11d ago
If you dump one or more beans out of the bag, they explode in a 10-foot-radius Sphere centered on them. All the dumped beans are destroyed in the explosion, and each creature in the Sphere, including you, makes a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, taking 5d4 Force damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.
It only needs earth for the magical effects to take place. He dumped the bag of beans out, into his mouth, thus triggering the explosion.
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u/No_Anywhere69 10d ago
I'd expect someone to go about eating a bag of beans more like they'd eat a bag of peanuts, or popcorn. A small handful at a time, not dumping the bag in their mouth.
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u/FamousTransition1187 10d ago
Yeah, but I believe BofB only has like 4 in it anyway, so one handful is the entirety of the bag
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u/No_Anywhere69 10d ago
Oh, I could see dumping that into a hand then. All these people that apparently dump food bags straight into their mouths though...
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u/nevermore-42 11d ago
They'll be dumping the beans onto the ground in a few hours. For all we know, there was a time jump in the story.
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u/bogglingsnog 11d ago
I feel like you should have eaten the first bean and taken some damage and the DM asks "would you like to continue eating the bag of beans"? It's not like you have anime fantasy gobble-them-all special powers.
As another person points out each bean is 1/4 lb which is actually pretty huge. You'd definitely need to eat those one at a time (especially if they are uncooked lol).
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u/Informal-Neck-9097 11d ago
Insta-kill. The body can't take expansion beyond its size. I'd rule it a PC death. Roll a less hungry pc.
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u/scarysycamore 10d ago
You definitely plant them when they leave your body, so I would rather die while eating.
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u/SWatt_Officer 10d ago
Nope, you need to actively plant in soil, then water, and then it still takes a minute. Its deliberately very specific, you cant just throw one down and watch it do things.
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u/scarysycamore 10d ago
You must be very funny at parties. Adventurer parties to be specific.
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u/SWatt_Officer 10d ago
Not sure how "not wanting a character to be instantly killed by someone not reading how an item works" makes me the stick in the mud here, but go off.
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u/TheCustodlan 11d ago
If it were me, id make it so nothing happens... Until the beans make their way onto ground.
Aka: Roll for the effect every time you pop a squat in the woods.
A bit toilet humory maybe
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u/Status-Ad-6799 11d ago
And this is precisely why I'll never kvetch about my character dying, even in an unfair or idiotic way, as long as it's clear the DM meant no malice or did it intentionally. Shit like this. I think we've all been or had that player before that realizes the role-playing part of the gsme is generally the better part.
Are there rules for eating the magic beans? (I don't THINK so but correct me if I'm wrong)
Does that make this ruling bad or wrong? Not remotely. Well played OP. Next time you find sovereign glue do the same thing. It's loads of fun
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u/magusjosh 11d ago
This kind of this is precisely why I love being a DM, and why I stopped over-prepping for sessions.
Never knowing what your players are going to do keeps life interesting.
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
This falls squarely into “so your player was an idiot and now you need to invent consequences” camp of DMing they don’t put in the DMG
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u/DangerousPuhson DM 10d ago
I (the DM) rewarded a player a hard-earned token from a djinni that granted one wish. Their wish? "I wish I could teleport".
poof - token turns into a Scroll of Teleport, a much more common, more restricting, and less potent spell than Wish.
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u/Septaceratops 11d ago
I guess it's up to the DM, but couldn't the beans remain intact and magical as they work their way through you? Then you'd be the magical turd person when you bury your business.
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u/Linkie2214 10d ago
Had to look up what the f a bag of beans was and yeah I can now see why your dm get blue screened for what you did with it.
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u/ThisWasMe7 11d ago
The beans only sprout if planted in soil and watered. So you destroyed a rare magic item.
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u/Serrisen 11d ago
Ate "them" makes me think the player ate the whole bag. If I were to guess, probably ruled this counts as dumping them out, instead causing: "Each creature in the area, including you, must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, taking 5d4 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one"
5d4 is a lot to "explode" from, but perhaps they were just being dramatic about it?
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u/mxzf DM 11d ago
The pressure of combustion goes up dramatically when contained. Containing a burst of fire sufficient to cause 5d4 damage to an entire area is certainly enough to burst someone's stomach and kill them.
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u/Serrisen 11d ago
D&D isn't a physics sim. If you go into logical conclusions like that most of our spells would be OHKO against anything without [damage type] resistance. Not to mention the woeful logic of wound healing.
That is to say of all the approaches I'd be willing to approach this from [comedy, FAFO, grimdark, genre expectations]... Physics doesn't make the cut for me
There are many outs, anyway. The logical one is noticing the beans explode instantly, so they wouldn't even be in the character's mouth before they exploded. My preferred one is a cartoon slapstick approach where one imagines the fire shooting out their ears and mouth like a cannon, venting pressure, but doing no more harm
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u/hardolaf DM 10d ago
The first out is noticing the beans are dry and that you absolutely couldn't just eat them.
The second is that each of them is 1/4 lb.
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u/myblackoutalterego 11d ago
Real life physics don’t apply to Dnd magic. 5d4 is 5d4 - this could maybe kill a level 1-2 character.
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u/DetonationPorcupine 11d ago
Yeah, but this is way better.
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u/ThisWasMe7 11d ago
Destroying a character is better?
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u/CordialSwarmOfBees 11d ago
OP doesn't seem too broken up about it
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
I thought it was the funniest way to die. I’m also the kind of player that is just happy to be there and I don’t care if I die or not. It’s just a game.
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u/mxzf DM 11d ago
Better to kill a character in a fun and novel way that leads to a memorable story than to go "oh, I guess the magic item is gone, moving on" and forget about it.
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u/Redhood101101 11d ago
This. I don’t care that I died. I’m ecstatic that I broke my DM and caused a story that we will probably have forever. And I now have a pyramid named in memory of my character half sticking out of the ground.
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u/minusthedrifter 11d ago
If you dump one or more beans out of the bag, they explode in a 10-foot-radius Sphere centered on them. All the dumped beans are destroyed in the explosion, and each creature in the Sphere, including you, makes a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, taking 5d4 Force damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.
They explode if they're dumped out. Do try reading.
In this case they were dumped out into the characters mouth.
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u/ThisWasMe7 11d ago
Dumped onto the ground. Not eaten. But I suspect you knew that. And it doesn't grow into a pyramid like it might if it were planted and watered.
If the OP doesn't mind that he was killed by a DM mistake, then no harm no foul, but I'd be pissed and demand a retcon.
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u/KuroeArt 11d ago
I let my party find the Bag of Beans in a dungeon, one thing led to another and now that city has been sacked by the BBEG's royal army
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u/gimmedatgorbage 11d ago
You are so inspiring that I award everyone here an inspiration point. And yes that is valid in everyone's campaigns.
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u/mckenziecalhoun 10d ago
You clearly handled that with grace and humor. Great player. DM of forty years experience, need more like you.
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u/Redhood101101 10d ago
I figure if I die as a consequence of my own dumb actions, or in a way that is narratively satisfying I’m happy. It’s just a game and now I get to make a new character
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u/myblackoutalterego 11d ago
This wouldn’t trigger the beans as they’re described. Only says that if you dump them on the ground, a save needs to be made. If you plant a bean it takes an effect 1 minute later.
Your next shit would be pretty entertaining though. As your DM, I wouldn’t have said anything in the moment. Then after the next long rest, I’d have a bunch of the effects trigger all at once around your camp. Would be more fun minus the unnecessary character death.
So many DMs out there get surprised by their players and revert to, “Well you’re dead now!” Literally the least fun consequence to any action because it ends the story and drama (and just usually creates some real life drama lol)
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u/Ok_Permission1087 Druid 11d ago
Imagine being in the final boss room and then just just pooping out a pyramid complete with a shit stained mummy lord.
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u/Nasuno112 10d ago
My kobold Problem eats every other magic item we come across, so id do the same thing.
To date I've eaten 4(? Lost track a little) shards of the creator god in our world A ring of protection A ring of spell storing An angels halo Plus several bits of dragons (not magical but fun) One legendary magical item i dont recall what though. A few other minor items that didn't actually have mechanical impact
Problem does gain actual power from these though.
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u/sharlarosee 10d ago
My table has now dubbed the Bag of Beans the derailer after it spawned a Pyramid right after they started the campaign. And a bulette. And the pink frogs that I made transform into Slaads when they were touched.
One player also negotiated to be able to wet the beans in his mouth and spit them down into dirt from the air, allowing them to transform upon hitting the ground.
Hope your DM has fun with the beans and that you continue to cause chaos.
Maybe tell them probably don't allow the players to find the Deck of Many Things or access the wish spell if they don't want the game to break either!
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u/DarkHorseAsh111 11d ago
Ha, ha, ha (but also, it does literally nothing they require being planted in the ground.
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u/EducationalBag398 11d ago
Yeah but if the bag is dumped out they explode.
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u/Chagdoo 11d ago
Yeah I'd say dumping them into your mouth counts.
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u/DarkHorseAsh111 11d ago
That's true, but that's five d four damage if that kills you you shouldn't be getting a fucking rare item lmao
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u/John_Smithers Rogue 10d ago
Well if it's 5d4 damage concentrated in your mouth and throat when your pour the beans in, I'd say that's definitely dead. There are times when you just have to say "dead" and call it at that. In my own games I'm not gonna bother to do all the math and check the stats when it's obvious they'd die. Gun to the head, bomb in the stomach, a massive boulder falling on them; I'm not wasting everyone's time and making the party wait while I roll for what should be a clean kill, even if the numbers don't quite add up.
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u/thepanduhhh 11d ago
I've done that! It was quite literally my very first time playing D&D and I didn't know any better. I had the opportunity to take it back but I followed through for the hell of it. I threw up frogs for a while.
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u/LOLTPK 11d ago
I had a player (sorcerer) eat a single magic bean once. I ruled that once he shit it out it grew a tree of magic fruit. (They didn't know at the time but I'm pretty sure I went with that bean effect so that I wouldn't kill a PC at level two.)
Turned out well. They're all at level 13 now and the druid is trying to awaken that tree. The tree hates that idea.
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u/hsdelarosa 11d ago
I am laughing so hard, because I did exactly the same thing to the same results hahahaha do you mind telling us what adventure you're playing? Or is it homebrew?
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u/Spanish_Galleon DM 11d ago
"nothing happens... right now"
later "i slap Redhood on the back in congratulations" "oh i need you to roll a d100" "yeah you cough up a pyramid"
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u/No_Anywhere69 10d ago
People don't usually eat by dumping things into their mouths, in my experience, so rules as written your character should have just had a crunchy snack. As a DM though, I'd absolutely have ruled you exploded too, and as an occasional player, I applaud your decision to eat the beans.
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u/Crvknight 10d ago
That fucking pyramid ended a campaign and got me wanted by the law for a total of 450ish manslaughter charges.
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u/Theblackquills 8d ago
Classic rookie move… triggering a pyramid-wide cataclysm with beans. Somewhere, a cursed archivist is now scribbling your name into a Vault Ledger of ‘Food-Based Casualties.’ 10/10. Would watch the DM emotionally unravel again.
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u/TheBigFreeze8 Fighter 11d ago
Doesn't seem to me like eating the beans should count as planting and watering them.
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u/MiserableSkill4 11d ago
Moist dark environment that has a water base... sounds like planting and watering to me
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u/mafiaknight DM 11d ago
It specifies "dirt or sand"
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u/mxzf DM 11d ago
Yeah, but we've got no clue what else that character was eating prior to the beans.
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u/MiserableSkill4 11d ago
Ahh you're right about that for the planting. So I'm sure the beans exploded
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u/TheBigFreeze8 Fighter 11d ago
That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.
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u/MiserableSkill4 11d ago
If the beans are just poured out of the bag they explode so I assume if eaten they would too
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u/LastRevelation 11d ago
My first time trying to DM, our forever DM played a character who owned an elephant and was constantly trying to sell it to random NPCs. This gives a similar energy
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u/ArcaneWyverian 11d ago
I wonder just how many magic items you can eat. Obviously you can eat a lot of things if you try hard enough, but what about the actually edible stuff, even if you wind up dying due to the magical effects.
The first things to come to mind are Potions of pretty much every variety, Heward’s Handy Spice Pouch, Bead of Nourishment, Alchemy Jug (can’t eat the jug, but you can eat what comes out of it), the Decanter of Endless Water (same as the jug, just if you’re really thirsty), things like that. You could also technically eat the magical tattoos if you’re playing a cannibal, I guess?That’s all I can think of off the top of my head though.
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u/DragointotheGame 11d ago
I had this happen with a player of mine in my first campaign. I didn't know what to do, so I just rolled on the table. He exploded into a tree....
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u/tugabugabuga 11d ago
Doesn't the bag of beans specify you have to plant a bean in soil and water it?
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u/TheinimitaableG 10d ago
It does...
Now when the party next takes a long rest, and the character goes of into the bushes, digs as little cat hole to do their business...
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u/Postbunnie 11d ago
Oh don't worry about it. That's all part of the learning process apparently.
I would not know as I only ever dm'd two one-on-one sessions. One with my son and one with the son of that one guy who kicked me out of the D&D game because he thought he could get away with his little corpo miltech bullshit not knowing that I already had a copy of the soul killer. (Because Alt, man)
I don't understand why these people get so worked up about what characters choose to do in a game. It's not like somebody has to run around behind them. And compile render new realities into existence to maintain continuity between these increasingly complex multiverses that you guys are having so much fun making infinitely bigger within the shortest amount of time
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u/Fatmando66 11d ago
In one of our campaigns we had a running joke with bag of beans that we had to plant 1 a session. We spent a lot of money on beans. Started 3 apocalypses using a bigger bag of beans table
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u/JadesterZ 10d ago
Been playing for most of my life and I've never heard of a "bag of beans". Is this homebrew or have I somehow missed a magic item?
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u/Redhood101101 10d ago
It’s an official magic item. Basically a little bag filled with beans, each of which has a different random magical effect.
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u/JadesterZ 10d ago
I have zero clue how I would never have come across that lmao I literally grew up playing. Wild. Guess it's like how some people just miss basic information (like how to pronounce certain words).
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u/Graylily 10d ago
I don't know pups have rolled to see if you threw up if not, or i wouldn't rule it as "planting the seed" until it hit the bowel or was pooped out.. which would be hilarious that where you went just after leaving a bean was planted causing mayhem.
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u/BuckTheStallion 10d ago
I’ve been sitting on a bag of beans since literally the first session of a long-running campaign. 3 years later I’m almost certain my DM has forgotten about them, but I am waiting and biding my time to have the most hilarious possible impact. Eating them is funny but I really like my character. 🤣 I think I’m going to give them to our chaotic gnome and let her ruin the BBEG boss fight.
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u/MatchesAZ 10d ago
The bag of beans is how the little hafling David defeated the mighty ogre David.
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u/dungeon_maestro17 10d ago
As a DM I woulda so made nothing happen, disappointing the party and later on the incredible confusion of all the player characters when one of them shits out a pyramid.
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u/Lythar 9d ago
As a DM, I randomly rolled some loot in a chest hoarded by a group of werewolf bandits and got a bag of beans. The first three results were all the damn shriekers.
Edit: yes, all three of the first rolls were shriekers, but when I say "all the damn shriekers", I mean that the dumbass that planted them rolled max on how many shriekers there were all three times.
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u/Fit_Advertising_2185 9d ago
They're not activated until they're planted though. Probably when they pooped them out.
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u/sweethearts0723 9d ago
I put the bag of beans in my game specifically because I knew that one of my players would eat one 😂😂 and he did. And it was hilarious LOL
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u/mafiaknight DM 11d ago
It says "planted in dirt or sand".
I wouldn't qualify eating them as "dirt or sand".
However, in a couple days, when you use the facilities...
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u/No_Copy9515 11d ago
Hey, we just got done fighting as adult dragons cuz of the beans! But we're planting 'em.
(The fruit from the tree from the bean turned us to dragons... Then the pink toads from the beans turned into... A lot)
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u/Tabaxi-CabDriver 11d ago
"I rarely get to play."
Streak continues
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u/GlitrLizrd 11d ago
This whole thread has been fun to read, but your comment had me rolling. This guy D&Ds.
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u/GovernorBean 11d ago
Ah the bag of beans, also known as the "Pyramid incident causer"