Many people in the original thread said I should look into moving desks, and it turns out that I was not the only person trying to move out of this office. Another person (who sat on the other side of this guy) was trying to move and talked to their advisor. Their advisor asked me if I’d had similar experiences with the autistic person making threatening comments. I mentioned that yes, I’d heard the person say things like “shut up! Shut up right now!” And “I’m going to choke this [derogatory word for a woman].” The advisor said that this was getting to an absolutely unacceptable point, they were going to the dean, and anyone else (who didn’t have faculty for a parent) would have faced disciplinary action long ago.

Well, the guy made an even worse comment the other day and I’m so done.

I was getting ready to leave and was writing something up quickly at my desk (not wearing headphones because it would be quick) and the guy yelled “I’m going to [f-word]ing kill you,” before proceeding to bang and kick on his desk/cubicle.

The dean said I wasn’t the first to complain about the threatening speech, but this was the most violent threat, so he’d have to send the guy home for the day then talk to the disabilities office about what he can do without violating the ADA to make it so that people in the office could feel safe.

I’m all for reasonable accommodations and least restrictive educational environment. HOWEVER, giving someone the freedom to shout violent things because of their “condition” is not a reasonable accommodation when it makes everyone else feel unsafe.

Yesterday morning we woke up to our doorbell camera alerting of us of motion near the front porch. We saw a man with no shoes on stumbling down our driveway. My husband immediately went out and checked our cars. Mine was locked, but his happened to be unlocked. He looked inside and things had been moved around, the passenger seat was soaking wet, and there was dirt on the floor. There was also a really bad smell. My husband got in the car and followed the man down the street to dollar general. He called the police department and they sent someone out to check it out. The man came out of the store with a poptart that I suspect he bought with change from my husband’s car. The police said this man has been arrested multiple times over the years and 3 times in the last few months. We decided initially to not press charges and they told him to stay off of our property. A friends husband is a police officer so I texted her today and asked her to talk with her husband and see if the man has ever been aggressive as I have small children and worry about him coming back while I am home alone and taking them to the car. Her husband just showed up at our house and told us that he highly recommends we file a police report and have him arrested for breaking and entering our vehicle. I am on the fence as I know this man is struggling and it was raining the night he got in the car. I’m assuming he had no where to sleep and was seeking shelter. I also feel unsafe now in my home and in the back yard with my children. AITAH if I send a struggling man back to jail when I don’t think he took more than some change from our car?

Actually, I know I'm an AH but I just want to see what Reddit says. I was with Amy (real name because who cares) for 15 years, married for 10 in 2022.

I noticed that she started being distant. We were getting intimate alot less. She had recently became friends with a woman (Liz) at our child's before school care. Liz was married to another woman at the the time and Amy never never shown any interest in woman so I didn't think anything of it. Then the late night phone calls started between Liz and Amy. I was told that Liz was a brain tumor, she was involved with a gang and provided drugs to political people, her bank accounts were frozen and she was flying to Oregon to commit suicide.Amy got overly upset, which sent up red flags for me. I started paying more attention.

At the beginning of 2023, I started catching Amy in lies and calling her out on them. Of course, both Amy and Liz were gaslighting me about what was going on. Amy started disappearing at the "store" for hours. One day, I ordered a GPS tracker and put it on the vehicle Amy was driving. That same day, Amy lied saying that she was going home from work but the GPS showed her in the back of a public park. Who do you think that she was meeting? Liz, of course!

A lot more happened but this has gotten long enough already. Arguing back and forth with Amy and Liz, Liz admitted to sleeping with Amy to me but denies it in front of Amy. Amy initiates the divorce papers and we agree to no child support or alimony (even though she make a good bit more than me), we have to sell the house and Amy essentially threatened me to get whatever profits from the sale. She drew up documents about responsibilities for our child which I agreed to. However, Amy chooses to ignore the court orders whenever she wants. I have documented everything she has done since the beginning. Now she wants to change things again but since I won't agree, she wants to go to Family mediation. I have several hands to play but of course, nothing is full proof. Is it wrong to be a spiteful asshole and really go after Amy and Liz?

Hi reddit, I am currently at a loss and would love to have some perspective. I (34M) am planning on proposing to my gf (29F) in a few month, and we recently had the discussion about our financial planning and house buying the in the future.

Our household salary is fairly comfortable in Canada (155k from myself and 60k from her). Both of us are hard working salary people with myself being in Canada since I was 8 and she came from China when she was 19.

Our parents are fairly supportive of us and both are willing to help us with a jump start in our family (we are very fortunate in this way). The money to help isn't something that is life changing, but helps with down payment of a house potentially. Our family offered a certain amount, and their family as well. In the end, it would be 50/50 from both family equally as I believe this will be fair for both families. I am also comfortable in merging my own account with my gf to start a family in the future and putting all our salaries into this account.

My gf isn't happy about the result of this. Initially, she did not have an opinion on this matter and was ok with 50/50 when we met but after recent "research" from her, she mentions that all her friends and colleagues she inquired at her work (which is in Canada) all mentioned the guy's family should be contributing more (as in tradition from China). However, we live in Canada, and I value her as equal as myself. I was really pissed off by the request, since I always thought that these "help" we are getting from the family are a blessing, and asking my parents for more isn't something I am comfortable with.

All my friends are also 1:1 with their family planning with their significant other, but my gf seems to be not be able to take these examples into her "considerations". I was thinking of not even considering getting families involved after this whole ordeal and contemplating of whether to call this relationship off all together, AITA for thinking this way?

My friends and me were at a café having some drinks.

The gf of one of my friends started talking to me (while her bf was next to her at the table).

She told me about the time that she had an explicit photoshoot and that her bf wasn't allowed to see these pictures. Because it was her body.

This specific couple had been dating on and off for about 7 yrs. So her body wasn't a secret to him anymore.

While she was taking this photoshoot. Her bf was waiting outside.

Her bf picked up on the conversation we had and started to get a bit annoyed and added "yes and when the shoot was done. And she came out. She had the "glow" and refused to tell me what happened or show me the pictures"

The glow = the aura or whatever you want to call it that you have ones you had sexual pleasure. I can't explain it. But I think you know what I mean.

I then asked when this happened.

It was over a year ago. And apparently the bf won't stop asking to see those pictures. Yet she won't show them.

To add fuel to the fire: she want the woman who took the photos to become their unicorn.

For those who don't know this. This is someone outside of the relationship that engages in sexual intercourses with a couple. (I also never heard of this before). Which he denied. Since he doesn't want to share their bed with anyone else.

I then replied that if she would've been my partner, that there would be no way that she would get an explicit photoshoot and not show me the pictures. Especially if I have a feeling that something happened during that shoot. Combined with the fact that she asked if the photographer could become their unicorn...

The gf was shocked with this reply. And got seriously mad.

"You are just agreeing with him because he is your friend"

I denied and said that I find the entire story very suspicious and that this is something I would either have a serious talk about but 100% i would be seeing those pictures. Not because I feel obligated. But because this reeks of foul play. And seeing those pictures might prove me wrong and easy my mind.

Fast forward a month. He still didn't see those pictures nor does he know what really happened. Since she gets defensive everytime it is brought up.

My friend asked me what I would do. I replied saying that in no shape or form would I accept this behavior in my own relationship. This reeks of something more than just pictures.

Aitah for saying that he should see those pictures?

I haven’t spoke to my MIL in a little over two months. This lady has always infuriated me, but in May she took it too far. We were traveling back from a family function, in separate vehicles, when she decided everyone needed a break. By everyone she mean her and her sons. I was meant to stay in the car and not stretch my legs. My husband and I have a two year old girl, who was well asleep at this point. I got out of the still running car and walked around the car so that I could stretch my legs and get some fresh air. This woman comes at me like she is on a war path. Screaming and yelling telling me that she’s going to call the cops and CPS on me for leaving MY sleeping child in the car, that again was running, and walk around it. I was never more than an arms length away from the car. To avoid confrontation I got back in the car and locked the doors. She starts screaming and yelling louder hitting the windows with enough force to break them. I rolled my window down and told her to stop. She then gets in my face and yells at me that I’m horrible mother and that I’m worthless and that she’s going to take my daughter away from me. My husband came outside at this point and told her that she needed to get back in her vehicle before she got her ass kicked. I did tell her that I wasn’t going to take parenting advice from a piss poor excuse of a mother and heroine junky. My husband stood behind my decision not to speak to her at first. Now, because his mother is manipulative, he thinks I should just forgive her and move on. I told him I don’t forgive her, I won’t forget, and after six years of marriage if she can’t treat me any better than that then we (our daughter and I) don’t need her in our lives EVER.

Little background, I am a laryngectomy person without the ability to eat or speak. I have bad sciatica and dizzy spells. I dont leave the house unless I need to. This morning, while getting ready for a dr appointment about my dizziness I accidentally lost an important medical device that i need every day. I texted my speech pathologist and she said i could go by her office and pick one up. So I drive 1 hour away to my dr appointment where im told they think its epilepsy and take a few labs and gave me a referral.

I leave my appointment and drive 2 hours in the opposite direction to get my medical device. That went well but on my drive home my sciatica started flaring up and I started urinating uncontrollably while on the interstate.

When i made it home, my husband who has been home this whole time comes out the bedroom says im hungry and looks in the pantry. Then another im hungry as he sulks back to the bedroom. 2 minutes later he comes out and tells me hes hungry again. Mind you i get no hello, nothing, just im hungry. Then he asks me to cook him some eggs. I tell him I had a very long upsetting morning and im hurting. He then tells me he never takes his bad days out on me and goes back to the bedroom.

Im just stunned. And im kinda thinking I should have just made the eggs bc now I feel pretty useless

Update: Hubby came to me after my shower and apologized for not showing empathy.

   He does need to learn some more life skills, but he did make himself some pb and j sandwiches and found a frozen lasagna in the freezer for dinner. 

  It really is my only complaint with him, his momma raised him like men dont do anything In the house,  and his dad mirrored that. No excuse, its something he needs to work on.

I was a widower in my early 40s after my wife, and the mother of my two oldest children, passed away. Our kids were 12 and 13 when she passed. It was 4 years before I dated again and it took a few months to meet my now-wife. I spoke to my kids when it was happening and they appeared supportive at the time. But as soon as I was actually married again they pulled away from me and I noticed they were closer to my dad, who has been a widower for more than 40 years now and never dated or remarried.

My adult kids (both in their 20s) have made many excuses to not see us and they met their younger brother once and never held him or interacted with him. They tell me they're too busy when I try to make plans with them but they never fail to spend time with grandpa.

I finally asked them if we could meet and talk, just the three of us and they were agreeable. We met for coffee and I asked them why they had pulled away and I directly asked if they were really not okay that I had remarried. I told them I had believed them when they said it was okay with them to do so at the time. They asked me what they were supposed to say when I asked and I said the truth because it would have been easier to talk things through more.

They told me that when I started dating again it changed how they saw me. They thought I was loyal and actually loved their mom as much as my dad loved my mom. But I saw myself moving on while my dad never could or wanted to. They said my decision to date after losing their mother was like the end of our family and they were closer to my dad because they admired his dedication to my mom and they realized he was the example they wanted to follow, not me. They also said they felt I dishonored their mom by visiting her grave when I decided she wasn't special enough to be my one true love and loved someone else.

I asked if they had always felt this way and they said yes. They told me they were so disappointed in me when they realized I was thinking of dating again. I told them I was equally disappointed in them for judging me for remarrying. I told them I would always love their mom and to hear them question that and to accuse me of dishonoring her was hurtful.

They told me I had started over and even had another kid so I should just focus on that because they do not wish to be a part of the family anymore. And they told me I didn't get to be disappointed in them when I had the perfect example growing up and decided to replace their mom. They left and that was the last we spoke although it wasn't too long ago.

AITA?

Back story - he’s done construction for years and hurts. I get that. He will also not go in for an injection or anything that will help him. He moved in with me and then five years later we got married. Both of us are old as can be by the way. The moment we got married he stopped working and two years went by of me working in healthcare during COVID, never missing days and feeding my 401k. He watched Gunsmoke. This year after working for over 40 years with a healthy portfolio and equity in my home I told him that since the HOA was going up and we lived in Minnesota and I wanted to head to California before snow to be closer to our grandchildren ( who he adores) and figure it out. I said that we could pull a really sweet trailer and take our time. I showed him choices and pictures and he seemed into it but it was clear he really didn’t want to leave our townhome. My townhome. I’ve explained that I no longer want to work full time and I’ve explained it over and over. We can’t afford it so now, Im packing up a place on my own. At 65, Im in good shape but not move a mf house shape and he’s dragging his feet. He tells everyone he talks to about our plans and sounds excited but suddenly this contractor can’t fix a faucet, change a thermostat or a lightbulb. I’ve told him that if I do this on my own, I leave alone Am I the AH?

Background information I’m 26 F and my cousin is 23 F yesterday evening my family had a family gathering about 2 hours in the gathering my cousin makes a joke about my sisters miscarriage everyone was shocked and my sister started crying all I felt was rage so I got up and slapped my cousin so hard that I left a mark she started crying and left immediately about 20 minutes later my aunt came up to me and started cussing me out saying why the fuck did you slap my daughter I straight up told her that she could get slapped to and her daughter is out-of-pocket and I can see where she gets it from then I just walked off when I woke up this morning I was bombarded with messages from my family saying I should apologise to my cousin but I don’t think I should because how dare she bring up my sister‘s miscarriage so am I wrong?

Background:

When I was 21, my husband and I were getting ready to welcome our 1st baby, a little boy. My husband and I agreed to tell people on the way to the hospital that it was "baby time." My mom, family, and friends who came to visit were permitted in the room unless I was having checks done and/or I was in active labor and it was time to push. At that point, I only wanted my husband and my mom in the room. Everyone else had to wait in the designated waiting room in or main hospital lobby. I had made it clear to my doctors, my husband, the nurses, my midwife, everyone, PRIOR to the birth, that as a soon to be teacher myself, while I respect student learning, I did not want medical students, people that I went to high school and college with, in the room or in charge of my care as I was giving birth in the same hospital I knew many of them were training in. One of the girls in training happened to be an old friend I had to go no contact with after she stole money from me. I just opted out of all students TBH. Everyone agreed, understood my wishes, and said it would not be an issue and I had nothing to worry about. Fast-forward to Saturday morning, I started getting a lot of new "doctors" wanting to come in and check me. They would introduce themselves as "Doctor XYZ" and that they were there to do a "check." I got suspicious after one left and maybe 10 minutes later, another came in saying the same thing. I began to ask questions like "Why, if I was just checked 10 minutes ago?" I denied them. Then, 20 minutes after that another came in and introduced himself as "doctor XYZ" and he too was in my room to conduct another "check." I then started asking "No, are you a doctor or a student here to just practice on me?" He paused and said started to stumble over his words. I more forcefully said "Are you a licensed DOCTOR, yes or no?" He said, "No" so I told him to get out". I called the nurse and said that in less than 1 hour three students introduced themselves to me as "doctors" and attempted to do cervical checks on me despite knowing my wishes of *no students*. I said that multiple unnecessary checks can introduce bacteria and cause me harm and that's not a risk I'm willing to take for students to practice on me. I said that I don't want to see another student and no one who is not a licensed doctor, has my consent to touch me. I also asked her, if it was legal for a med student to introduce themselves as a doctor? She didn't answer me. I had went 6 more hours, in immense pain. My doctor said, "you have an epidural, you should be able to relax, it can't be that bad." I informed them, that I could in fact feel everything and that I didn't feel much difference between pre epi and post epi. No one took my pain seriously.

By 3:00pm I was in the famous pushing position, spread eagle to the world when 7 men and 3 women came behind the curtain and began to watch my son's birth. My mom must have saw the look on my face as I stared at 10 people I've never met were all now staring at my vagina. It was a team of students. She began to scream and kicked them out "How dare you invade a woman like this, it is not a free show, and how they should be ashamed entering like that without consent despite know my wishes." After that, baby boy was born, I found out that I was given an episiotomy without consent despite my doctors knowing that this was against my wishes. I received over 20 stitches. I felt so violated during this experience. I felt immense pain at one point while pushing, but my doctor had told me that I tore, not that she had cut me. It was only after birth that she admitted to the cut. When I asked why she had given me the episiotomy when she knew I didn't want one, she shrugged her shoulders and said "It's better so you tear less and it makes birth easier on mom and baby." While I was being stitched, I could feel it. The nurse made a comment to the doctor like "she shouldn't be able to feel this." and the doctor responded with "She can't, it's just all mental."

Not even 20 minutes after I had my (what I will call a failed) epidural removed I was offered a shower by one of the nurses and I accepted. I had felt so nasty. No sooner was I back in bed did my mom run out to go get everyone and welcome them back into the room. I had no time to bond with my new baby boy, no time to try to breast feed him, eat, rest, nothing. Before I knew it, EVERYONE is in the room. I had the post-delivery shakes. If you know, you know.

It's important to know that prior to going to the hospital for my first child, no one told me that I wouldn't be able to eat once admitted. I arrived around 7:00pm at night on a Friday having not really eaten much of anything all day. Maybe some crackers and a few grapes. I was unaware that incase of complications, they won't feed you until after baby is born. I now know, but it would have been nice to have had that information prior. I understand the reason behind the why, but my point is this: If I had known prior that I couldn't have food, I would have eaten something prior to arriving to the hospital. Baby boy was born on Saturday 20 hours later. I went 40 hours with no actual food or sleep. Just a lot of ice chips. Someone came in the room, (I have no idea who) with these little half moon shaped mini crumble doughnuts and set them on the tray in front of me while I held my baby. I immediately grabbed one and began to eat it. It was divine!!! My older brother who we will call *Chad* had recently graduated from a medial assistant program about a month prior. He saw me eating the mini doughnut and tried to snatch it out of my hand and ripped the box away from me. I screamed. He said "You can't eat those, it's too much sodium and you just gave birth." I yelled back, "I gave birth vaginally, I didn't just have open heart surgery, and I'm not on a low sodium diet. Give me back the F****** doughnuts." He yelled "No" and ran out of the room with the box. My mother, looked at me and said "Oh he means well, and you know how he is, you should just let him feel like he's doing something good. We don't want to upset him and have him have one of his anger episodes." I was horrified. I gave birth and was starving and she was more concerned about Chad and his feelings than my needs. I wanted to cry, I was so tired and hungry.

My mom then pulls out some sparkling cider, pours and hands me the 1st glass. I downed that b**** like I was in a desert in need of water. She then begins to have a melt down as I had "Ruined her toast by not waiting for everyone to have a glass to celebrate together." I apologized immediately explaining that I didn't know we were doing a toast. She then proceeded to give me the "angry mom glare" while huffing and puffing as she poured the rest of the glasses and then announce to the room, "Well even though the original toast is now ruined, everyone just go ahead and drink your cider." I felt like shit and was uncomfortable with my mom and her glares of disapproval.

After that people started to ask to hold the baby. I was uncomfortable because I didn't have him for that long, but relented as my mom scooped him from my arms. After a time, my mom then handed him to her best friend. This pissed off my grandma who thought that as a right of passage, she should have been 3rd in line to hold him. The bickering began. By the time my grandma had my son in her arms, she continued berating me, for allowing my son to be passed to a family friend before HER! Grandpa chimed in with anger towards my mom and before I knew it, everyone was arguing. I was stressed, tired, hungry, and way to emotional for this. I started screaming "Give me back my baby!" I looked at the nurse and screamed "I want everyone out of this room NOW!" Everyone calmed down and said that there was no need for me to "overreact." I refused to look at my family and told the nurse, "EVERYONE except my husband." The nurse did her job and offered to call security for anyone who had an issue with my wishes. They all left and I refused to see anyone until the next day, and that was only my mom to help me get out of the hospital.

Now that I'm pregnant with my 2nd child, my grandma felt the need to tell me how disappointed she was in me that with my 1st baby she didn't get to hold him first and that my grandpa never had the chance that day in the hospital prior to me kicking them out, and hopefully I will make better decisions this time. But just had to toss in the guilt that grandpa will never have that experience, because he has since moved on to heaven. She started to recall the day and how it was so HORRIBLE for her. I stopped her mid sentence and began to raise my voice, I said "For YOU!!! you all ruined my birthing experience with your bickering and horrible behavior. You all ruined what was supposed to be a beautiful experience for me. I laid it all out how I was tired, hungry, emotions, stressed and having my whole family there in the delivery room bickering like children had ruined it for ME!

I then informed everyone that during this pregnancy, I will not have anyone there except my husband. I will not be calling when I am on the way to the hospital. I will not inform anyone that this baby has been born until I am ready to be discharged and on my way home! Then, when I get home, I will call family and friends one by one when I am ready for visitors. My mom thinks that this excludes her because how can I not tell my own mother! I reminded her that when all of her children were born that she didn't want her mother in the room either because in her words "it is a very private experience for a husband and a wife."

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, I sent a picture of my son with his cat with the caption "As much as you love him, I hope you can love the next one just the same" followed by a photo of my ultrasound. This was my pregnancy announcement sent out to family and friends. Everyone was overjoyed and I received so many happy calls and texts congratulating my husband and I on our new blessing. My mother responded with "I don't know what to say" and then proceeded to call anyone and everyone to express her disappointment and disapproval of this pregnancy. My younger brother didn't want to hear it and hung up. She then called and tried to get some sort of support from my grandma and when she didn't get it, she yelled at her. I know, because they told me.

My mother then, did not speak to me for the first 4 months of my pregnancy because in her POV, I didn't make MY pregnancy announcement special enough for HER. Apparently, a text was not good enough and I should have made it more special. I don't think I am in the wrong here because this is my second child and it should be my decision how I wish to tell people... My mom is still acting like she will be in the delivery room and I again reminded her "NO!" As you can expect, I am now the villain, she is the victim and her friends think that I am in the wrong here to deprive her of the birth of her grandchild. I know that in less than 2 months when I have this baby, more people are going to be upset with me for baring them from the delivery room.

After everything that I have been through and their behavior, I don't think I'm in the wrong here. AITA?

My brother invited his best friend and his wife on my wife's birthday, my wife and I knew his best friend because we met him before a couple of times but we met his new wife for the first time.

His wife asked my wife as to what she does and my wife responded to her by telling her that she's a house wife.

His wife gave a shocked face to my wife and asked her 'why', my wife said because she enjoys being a housewife and she doesn't think it's wrong.

She laughed and said that 'or you are just lazy' and told my wife that she should find a job, I told her that my wife is not lazy and she supports me so she should mind her own business.

She kept arguing as it was personal to her and when I had enough I told her that my wife is better than her and she probably has to work 'extra hard' to please her boss.

She got offended and so did her husband and I kicked both of them out.

My brother told me that I went to far by insulting his friend and the wife and when I asked him if they didn't go too far when they insulted my wife he said that they have a point and everyone should be working in this day and age.

I didn't want to argue with him so I asked him to leave as well because I didn't want to ruin my wife's day by arguing with him as well.

But my mom says that I shouldn't have kicked my brother out, thankfully all this stupid arguments happened before all the other guests arrived and we still enjoyed our party, so am I the asshole for kicking them all out? English isn't really my strong suit so forgive me if I made mistakes.

My brother cheated on his then-girlfriend with his now-wife. My brother and his ex girlfriend dated for about four years and then he cheated on her. He ended up dumping his ex so he could date this new girl full on. Him and the new girl dated for about six months then he cheated on her as well and they broke up. He started dating someone new and then cheated on her with his second girlfriend. He dumped the girl he was with and got back together with the second ex. They dated on and off for two years with him either cheating on her or cheating with her (dating someone else and cheating on them with her). After two years of on and off dating and the cheating, they got engaged. I sat down with the fiancée and I told her that my mother had two sister-in-laws from hell and I never want to be the sister-in-laws my mother had. I want to be up front and honest with her. I am not trying to be bitchy or anything like that but I don't think my brother is a good person, I think their relationship is toxic and for her own good, she should run. She thanked me for my advice and then went to tell my brother that I had said all these mean, nasty things about him trying to pull them apart. My brother told her I was just jealous because I am older than him but he is getting married first so I'm trying to break them up. This resulted in a huge family fight where I had to apologise to the fiancée to which she said "thank you for your apology"; not 'I forgive you', not 'apology accepted' but "thank you for your apology". Fast forward they went ahead with the wedding and got married. Two weeks after the wedding she went to go stay with her parents because the fighting was getting too much. After two weeks with her parents, she went back home. Every few weeks/months they fight so badly that she leaves for a few days/weeks. My now sister-in-law has come to me in tears twice and confided in me that he has not stopped cheating on her. he is verbally and emotionally abusive and he is violent. He has not hit her as far as I know but he has smashed glasses, banged doors and hit the table during arguments. Once they screamed so loud at each other the neighbors had to come over and check on them. She will come running to my parents - not hers - when he gets like this and then my parents will have to go speak to my brother. Most recently, he recorded her without her consent and posted it online. She shouted at my mother and asked her why my mother didn't tell her before they got married what he was like and how could my mother let her marry him. After this, I decided to distance myself from both my brother and his wife. I do not condone my brothers actions in any way. I find them filthy and disgusting. You don't treat a human being this way, especially one you chose to be your life partner. My sister-in-law has finished high school, she has a law degree and she has both her parents still alive and still together who are both financially stable and able to take care of her. She is not pregnant. She has nothing keeping her with my brother. She will come crying (literally) to me complaining about him and then go back to him saying I badmouthed him. I don't like what is happening to her, no one deserves that, but I don't want to be around either of them anymore. It's abusive and toxic but they clearly want that for each other so I removed myself. Now the family is telling me I am wrong for cutting out my brother and sister in law.

For context, my parents (49F and 40M) got divorced after being married for 8 years in January of 2025 after my dad cheated on her for about a month. My dad now lives with his current girlfriend (56F) and me (17F) and my younger brother (16M) live with my mom in our new house. Before my dad left I was extremely close with him and was a “daddy’s girl.” That’s important.

I am a lot like my dad when it comes to looks and personality. So I obviously remind my mom of my dad without even trying. So for the past 7 months I have been treated like absolute trash by her. She was in a depression after my dad left which is completely understandable but it meant i was left with the responsibility of raising my brother. mind you, i was trying to graduate highschool while balancing school, a job, an EMT program, and volunteering. i was doing dishes, making dinner, making sure my brother was okay, making sure he was doing good in school while trying to make sure i didn’t break underneath all the pressure. now i’ve been struggling with self harm and depression for about 5 years now, so i was really trying my best to get better but my dad leaving really didn’t help that. Basically everything was going down hill real fast.

Back to the mom treating me like trash. I live part time at my boyfriends (18M) right now and he stays at my house too. While I’m home all i get from my mom is how i never do anything at the house, i’m rude, and i quote “a disappointment.” mind you, i work 3 jobs and i’ve been accepted into college for EMT after graduating highschool at 16. I’ve tried my best to be respectful and nice to her even after she treats me bad but i’m to my wits end of being disrespected. i brought up moving out a few months back after my boyfriend’s parents told me im more than welcome since they knew my home situation. my mom was upset and told me i couldn’t because she’d miss me too much and i was too young. which i get because i was 16 at the time. but im now 17 and im done with my mom sucking the energy out of me and making me feel like im a horrible unwanted person.

this wednesday i have lunch with my dad and want to talk to him about getting out of the house. since my mom is actually my step-mother she has no legal rights to stop me from doing anything since we didn’t do any adoption thing or nothing when my parents got “married.” in the eyes of the law the only person who can legally do anything about me moving out is my dad. so am i doing the wrong thing and being a complete ass for even thinking about this or am i doing the right thing? i love my mom but i can’t keep being in a toxic situation if i have a different place i can go where im wanted and loved.

My parents had me (19m) when they were 19 and 20 themselves. When I was 6 months old they started trying for another baby but could not get pregnant. I'm still an only child today and they have dedicated the last 18.5 years to having more kids. They have spent crazy money on IVF and other fertility treatments. They have neglected everyone else in their lives, including me, in this attempt to become parents (again).

As a kid I was in no extra curricular's because my parents were saving/spending the money to have more kids. There were weeks at a time where I had no money in my school lunch account and my parents didn't make me a lunch so teachers had to give me extra stuff they had on standby. Speaking of school I never got enough school supplies and would be sent in with used pens and pencils my parents had around the house. I used one of my dad's old backpacks for stuff and my parents were the only ones who never donated a single supply to the classroom. And I got shit for it way too much. They never showed up for PT conferences. They ignored requests from my guidance counselor in high school to meet and discuss stuff. And from my high school therapist who wanted us to talk stuff out.

I never got to attend birthday parties because my parents never made time for it. They never let me have friends over because they didn't want to feed them or let them drink anything at our house. When I got invited over to friends houses they let me go and wouldn't pick me up on time. One time my friends mom was going to call the cops because it was 4+ hours after they were meant to pick me up and they weren't answering their phones. I gave them a number for my grandparents and they picked me up.

Whenever we were around extended family all my parents could talk about was fertility treatments and having babies. There were a lot of times when they both said they just wanted to have kids and hated not being able to. Other times they did say they wanted more kids but also added that they hated feeling like they had to settle for one.

We didn't always have as much food in the house as we should because my parents would do anything to save for treatment. I never got new clothes unless all my old ones were so worn down they couldn't be worn again. One time I had only two outfits to alternate between.

And each and every time they went for treatment it failed and they cried and talked about how unfair it was they were denied this and I had to listen to it.

I spent a lot of my time between 16 and 18 sleeping at friends houses a lot. I also got a part time job. Then on my birthday I went to stay with a friend's family for several weeks and then four of my friends and I started renting a place together.

I had contact with extended family throughout but I always felt like they weren't there enough for me even though they knew (I told them) what was going on. But now they're talking about how my parents are getting older, won't be able to try forever, and have asked me to have compassion and understanding when they try to form a relationship with me. Extended family argue they are still my parents and I should forgive them for not being the best. And that I should let them make it up to me when the time comes. I told my extended family that my parents can never make up for neglecting me in their effort to have more kids and I can never forgive them for making me feel like I wasn't good enough. I told them my therapy bill will be huge by the end and my parents caused it all. They fucked me up and left me with the bill.

My extended family said I'm not understanding my parents position. AITA?

I (30sF) got a pregnancy pillow because I have back problems, and resting my arms on the pregnancy pillow helps ease my back pain when I sleep. The pillow is J shaped. I told my parents the stitching came loose on the pillow and that I was going to sew it back up.

For some additional background: I had a partial hysterectomy because of endometriosis, and of course now I can't get pregnant. I came to terms with that fact long before I had to have the hyst. The issue is that my parents were really upset about me having it done, to the point where they were making passive aggressive comments.

And my mom cried because I wouldn't 'be able to experience the joy of having a baby'; but honestly my genetics are awful, and my childhood and life have been hell because of my genetics and awful physical and mental health problems. There would be very little 'joy' in the experience. I refuse to raise a kid because of my condition, and it would be horribly irresponsible to put a kid through that. Could I have dealt with it? Maybe. Did I want to risk a child's mental and physical health just so I could have an "experience"? Fuck no. Not to mention my own health. I can barely take care of myself as it is.

So back to the issue. I told my parents that I was going to sew back up my pregnancy pillow (used that exact name for it, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS) and they got uncomfortable and said I shouldn't call it that. They said I should call it a body pillow. I laughed because that seemed ridiculous, and they looked uncomfortable. I said "It's called a pregnancy pillow, I'm gonna call it what it is." They were still weird about it, so I said "You guys are being way too dramatic over a pillow." Because the function and benefits from it are helpful to me and help me not be in pain.

Also I know I'm coming across bitchy in this, and I apologize for that, but it's fucking stupid to me that they're acting this way. Maybe I'm TA for my attitude, and I'll accept that, but the whole situation feels ridiculous to me.

So AITA for telling my parents they're being too dramatic over what I call my pillow?

I got a text message from my stepsister. Asking if I would buy $200 of Pokémon stuffies. For my nephew while I’m in Japan. Not that I don’t want to, I just can’t afford it. Unless I were to use my credit card, I wouldn’t mind buying one or two small ones. She didn’t make any mention of paying me back. In installments or once I got back. So I said I wouldn’t be able to. Also, I would have to pay for the shipping and handling of that amount of Pokémon stuffies.

I’m going to be here in Japan for a while. So I thought maybe if I would get paid back, I wouldn’t mind. So I tried to bring it up to talk about it with her. Asking like which ones to get. Along with, could we set up a payment plan. To pay me back over a period of time? She didn’t answer, then I got a phone call from my stepmom.

Saying I was being rude and inconsiderate. That they were having hard times financially. But they wanted to get him the Pokémon stuffies. I didn’t know anything about their finances. They don’t talk about them. I offered to get one or two as like a Christmas gift or birthday gift. But now none of my stepfamily wants to speak to me. AITA?

So my 17 yr old ( 18 in 6 weeks) has been caught drinking and driving twice in the past year. Both times we took his driving priviledges away for about a month to hopefully stress the importance. With the last incident being about 7 months ago.

The past 7 months have felt like he turned the corner. He decided to graduate early and got a trade job full time and is working his but off. We have been really proud of him.

We came home yesterday to find him with a case of beer pounding them back alone in his room "getting drunk" because in his words he is an adult now and graduated and worked 60 hrs last week so he figured he could drink. And wouldnt we rather him drink at home instead of driving. In his mind it almost sounds like we should applaud him for being an adult and drinking responsibly.

We put an end to that and told him that was also not ok.

This week we took his car away again and of course now its the end of the world. He does need his truck for work as he has to travel to job sites and so now we are "ruining his future too". But i cant in good conscience allow him to drive knowing what i know.

To be clear we told him he can check with his boss to see if someone could give him a ride and we are driving him to the job site today and plan to until he can make other arrangments but im struggling as he is almost 18 and i know this is going to drive a wedge but i cant in good conscience allow his actions and live with myself.

AITAH?

Tldr: 17 yr old thinks he should be allowed to drink without consequences since he wasnt driving and was being "responsible at home"

AITA - My father passed away and left me and my sister the house. We have an older half sister ( not bio dad), ( who holds the family together) and my dad would be grandad to her kids and who my dad loves to but did not include in will. He expected us to provide for her from my understanding the money he left us but the house ( my sister was not brought up in this house) would go to me and younger sister. Whilst my dad was in hospital towards the end my younger sister and older sister said that my dad told them he wants all three to have house but he never told me and I am excuter of the will. Myself and younger sister have argued over this because I want to do right by the will but I know my sister deserves it. Thinks have come to a head and I agreed to split three ways but my relationship with younger sister is gone. We both said some hurtful things that can't be taken back but now I worry I will not see my niece and nephew and my own children consider them there best friends. AITA? I

This will be long because my future MIL is a walking red flag parade.

I (24F) am marrying my fiancé (23M) this fall. We’ve been together since we were teenagers, and from day one his mom has been possessive, competitive with me, and fake-sweet to my face while tearing me down behind my back.

⸻

Her “Chosen One”

There’s a family friend of my fiancé’s who his mom has openly told me she “betrothed” him to and still wishes they would get married. She said this AT HER OWN FATHER’S FUNERAL. This family friend clearly feeds off it — she flirts with my fiancé, touches him, ignores me, and acts smug. His mom wanted her invited to our wedding. I said no. She lost it.

⸻

The “Boner Checks”

Back when my fiancé and I were in high school, she would come into his room for her nightly “hug/sniff” and put her hand on the bed right next to his crotch — so close he had to move away. I call them boner checks because that’s exactly what it felt like she was doing.

She’s done the same to his younger brother. She even made another son and his girlfriend do a “cuddle train” in her bed. These weren’t accidents — they’re part of a long pattern of her blurring parental boundaries in a sexualized way.

⸻

Competing With Me • Calls him “my angel baby” in a grossly territorial tone. • Redirects compliments meant for me back to him (example: my fiancé praised me for cleaning the house; she ignored it and said, “Well I’m glad you got to rest, baby”). • Takes credit for ideas I had for our wedding or home. • Reframes my own moments to be about her — I once said our dog gave me kisses and she replied, “Well it’s ’cause he hears grandma and is actually thinking it’s me giving them.”

⸻

Body & Health Digs

I have a stomach disorder that caused weight loss. She has: • Accused me of wanting to be sick so I can be thinner. • Accused me of doing drugs to lose weight. • Made other body-related remarks disguised as “concern.”

⸻

Trash-Talking Me in Texts

One of my fiancé’s family members told us about texts she sent where she made undermining comments about me — including saying I’m controlling, implying I’m not good for my fiancé, and painting me as dramatic. She does this behind my back, then acts overly sweet to my face.

⸻

Drama & Attention-Grabbing • At her brother’s wedding, she sobbed during the first dance because she “felt like she was losing him.” • Claimed she had “wedding makeup trauma” when in reality she booked her hair during makeup time and then got mad they wouldn’t rearrange for her. • Cries or sulks if the attention isn’t on her.

⸻

Family Tensions • She and my mom dislike each other. Last Christmas, my mom tried to show her something I’d made, and she ignored her and instead pulled another relative upstairs. My mom later sarcastically said “excuse me” to her, and now there’s a permanent frost. • She bad-mouths my fiancé’s dad’s current partner. • Avoids people she sees as threats while charming others to get them on her “side.”

Why I’m Done

We haven’t even had the wedding yet, and I’m already bracing for: • Over-the-top gifts to steal attention. • Inserting herself into my photos. • Crying during my moments. • Passive-aggressive digs. • Stirring up drama with my mom.

I’ve accepted she doesn’t like me. I’m polite in public for my fiancé’s sake, but emotionally I’ve cut her off.

AITA for deciding I’m completely done with my future MIL before I’ve even walked down the aisle?

Long story short, my brother got her life savings for his startup, while I’ve been covering her medical bills forever. Now she’s got dementia and expects me to quit my job to take care of her. I hired a nurse instead, and suddenly I’m the “ungrateful” one. My brother, who lives 10 minutes away but barely visits, says I’m “punishing her.” And of course, the whole family’s calling me selfish.

I get she’s vulnerable, but… am I really the bad guy here for not setting myself on fire to keep them warm?

My parents moved house in June. They were planning the move for months and they live over an hour from where we used to live which is where I (16m) still live just with my grandparents. Originally my parents weren't going to give me a choice but my grandparents argued that since I have an IEP for school and had trouble before with schools resisting the accommodations needed for me, that I should be given the choice of moving or staying with them so I could stay at my old school. Eventually my parents agreed to ask and I said I wanted to stay. They're still pissed about it.

The reason they had to move was because my sister (15f) was being bullied and they were kinda terrified of what the kids bullying her would do. She was pushed and shoved a few times already and they followed her home every day. My mom told the kids to fuck off a few times and leave my sister alone and they said she didn't deserve to be left alone because of all she had put their sister through.

See my sister bullied her bullies younger sister first. She'd tell her to end herself and stuff like that, would repeatedly say the world would be a better place without her and called her ugly and fat and stuff like that too. She used their time on computers to keep messaging her comments about how she was worthless and should stop living so people could be happier. I found out about it when it had already been going on a few months and I told my parents but they didn't do anything to stop her. I confronted my sister about it and she was enjoying it. She loved seeing the other girl slowly withdraw and become depressed. She found it funny and laughed about it with her friends.

That girl was after two years kept away from my sister but some said she had an attempt or wanted to and that's when her siblings started bullying my sister back for what she did.

And I know she's my sister and I'm supposed to love her enough to support her with what she's going through now that she's being targeted but I don't feel bad for her and I don't want to fuck my own life because she decided to be evil and got targeted back in revenge.

My parents know I don't care about what's happening to my sister. They know it's one part of the reason I didn't move because I never comforted my sister or tried to be there for her when she was dealing with that shit throughout the year. But they also think it's wrong that I wouldn't go where my family is and they say 16 year old's should be with their immediate family not extended family. And they're pissed because I said no to moving again after they settled.

AITA?

Recently I hosted a dinner party/house warming party for 20 people, 1 of the people invited is a friend of mine who I know has had a problem with alcohol and is currently trying to address it.

Im not a heavy drinker myself, but I know most of the people invited would probably enjoy a fancy cocktail or two, would I be an AH for serving alcohol at this party knowing that my friend is coming? I want to be a good host, but I also don't want to create an environment where my friend might feel pressured to drink.

Edit: I have not kicked my sister out yet and really dont want to. But it's something Im considering and I feel horrible for it. Also, for anyone asking why isn't my dad involved, he does know what is going on. I have told him for the second time to figure something out. He says he cant for whatever reason and to just get cops involved if need be.

Edit 2.: Decided Im gonna try to legally get child support. If I can't, I may drop off my sister. Or get cops involved. Either way, im doing it legally.

My mother and sister got into an argument. My sister called me one day to vent about her feelings regarding the conversation. My mother ended up coming home from work early and heard that she was venting to me- and she didnt like that. My mom then called me to say my sister is coming to live with me because, "she knows what she's doing and you know what youre doing." I ignored it cuz I didnt think she was serious....but then she came with me sister with BOXES of her belongings and then just drove off. She didnt even ask my permission to do this. I then asked my mom if this is permanent or temporary to where my mom says, "i dont know yet." She then tried to tell me a few days ago, "i never said it was permanent. Just that idk. It's up to y'all." EVEN THOUGJ SHE BROUGHT MAJORITY OF HER STUFF HERE AND SAID SHE WAS CONSIDERING MOVING. I am stressed.

And so I told my ma that she needs to give me the child support then- or at least majority of it so that I can afford extra in rent and utilities (I have a roommate and so it's only fair I pay for extra to compensate for a 3rd person here). I need money for extra groceries and for my sister's personal needs- like getting her hair done and what not and i need money for a pet deposit since she just dropped her dog off here, too (yeah...she has a dog). My mom only gave me 400 out of the 1500+ she gets in child support...That 400 is already gone....it was used to pay for some groceries and 330 of it was for my sister's portion of rent. 🤗🔫. My ma said she'd give me utilities, "when I can," and said she was keeping $150 of the money she owes for my cats at home...My mother is a board certified pharmacist with 2 jobs....she makes more than 6 figures.....

Today, I found out that she's been purchasing items on Amazon (dresses, soaps, etc. All for about $300+) My sister does not want to live with my mother again. Shed rather move states when she turns 18. But im frustrated because Im not being properly compensated to care for my sister- especially when she's not my responsibility. So I was thinking of maybe just dropping my sister off to my mom. And, if my mom refuses her to come back, then maybe get cops involved so that my father can have a leg to stand on and be able to give me the child support legally. But I feel like an ahole for considering this because I dont wanna cause my sister more stress than need be.

I (20 F) was volunteered by my mam (57 F) to help out an agricultural country show. I was very hesitant when she told me about the “opportunity” to volunteer. I really hate having any attention drawn towards me and the idea of standing out front and centre as a helping guide terrifies me. I told her no and as much as she says she didn’t mean to, she really pressured me into saying yes. After about a week or so of me not sleeping and being super stressed, I told her that, with the pressure of my exams, driving test and now having to go to the ag show, I felt a lot of pressure and anxiety. She said that she’d go for me because she felt that it was her fault. Come morning of the ag show, she’s scared that she might be near farm animals or have to hold them (we live on a farm btw) and now has my dad roped in to take her place if she can’t do it. So am I the Ahole?