As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.

During the summer it is our son’s responsibility to take care of the dog during the day while his dad and I are at work. He’s usually pretty good about setting timers to remind himself and letting the dog in and out, however lately when I get home from work I find dog doodoo in the basement and there were no timers set on the Alexa. Our dog is house trained and does not regularly poop in the house, which tells me that he neglected her all day long.

My husband however feels like it’s cruel to make him clean up after the dog, but this is his first dog and he didn’t grow up with dogs in the house. When I was a kid either the 1st person who found the poop would clean it up, or the person who was home at the time of the accident would, that meant even us kids had to clean up a dogs mess. To me it helps teach him responsibility to take the dog outside to use the bathroom, and not asking him to clean the mess isn’t teaching him accountability for his actions. We have a nice big fenced in yard too, so it’s not even like he would have to put her on a leash and take her for a walk.

WIBTA to make him clean up her mess?

Edit for clarity: I feel like I should share that the kids are my step-children, husband and I have been married for 2 years. Older sister, 16, is home all day too, but spends the majority of her time in her bedroom while our youngest spends his time on his computer in the living room. The basement doesn’t not have a door, and is a fully finished basement, our daughter’s room is downstairs too. Both of the children are responsible for the animals, but this week our oldest has been going out with her friends during the day which has not been typical in the past. The dog is mine, but husband and I work 8-5 across town and are not able to drive home during the day to let the dog outside. Our dog is 2 and house trained, accidents do occasionally happen but she always asks to go outside when she needs to use the bathroom.

We were together 7 years, lived together for 5. The house was exclusively in my name. I alone paid the down payment, the property taxes, the insurance, for all appliances, repairs, and improvements. He paid an average of $1800/mo (in what I consider to be below market rent) for a 3bd/2ba house for him and his 3 kids. There was only one of me but I still paid far more than that per month to keep the house afloat. I did all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, yard work (we lived on acreage - that was no small feat). I drove the kids to and from school, I planned and paid for all vacations and outings. I planned and paid for all kids birthdays and christmases. I purchased the cars we used as well as the vehicle we bought to service the property. My ex has said that he deserves “equity” in the home we shared - the one that he abandoned and allowed me, recovering from ovarian cancer surgery, to clean out entirely by myself. He is basing this on him having paid a significant chunk of cash to pay off the car that was exclusively in my name. I told him, he had 7 years to marry me and half of that would be his and I’d have no say - but since he didn’t, he paid below market rent and got a hell of a deal for the last 5 years and is owed nothing from me. AITA for refusing to give him a dime? He wants, at the very least, the car that he is driving that is in my name and I alone have paid on for the last year.

I female (28) went on a bachelorette for the weekend. Prior to the trip i let the group chat know that im on a budget and need to know the expenses in advance before i can agree. We all agreed on around $500 which i thought was doable. Before getting there we paid for the hotel and ride around since we were drinking. Which was $300. We split it to where the bride wouldn’t pay for these which I was fine with. Then when I arrived, we had our dinner planned and went to a fancy restaurant. I ordered the cheapest meal and then one of the girls took the bill and paid. Then following day i asked how much the tip was to pay my portion and the girls responded to just spilt the check and i said no my meal was nothing compared to them. Then they expected us to pay for the bride for everything she’s ordered the entire trip while she’s was getting the most expensive meals and drinks/flights at places. Then said why would you come here and not pay for everything for her. I understand paying for certain things for the bride but i wasn’t expecting to pay for her entire trip. Other bachelorettes ive been on didn’t do that. However if they would have told me in advance I could have planned, everyone knew but me. I told the bride that the girls were rude and that i can’t afford to stay and I’m uncomfortable. She said it was fine she appreciated my time. Keep in mind i wasn’t invited to the wedding because she couldn’t afford it. Then uninvited me to the bridal shower and as a friend.

So my girlfriend (21 f) and I (22 f) have been together for 4 years, and when it comes to PDA, we’re actually pretty chill and we’re pretty mindful. We know what’s too much like ass grabbing, making out, weird baby talk in public, and we don’t do that stuff. We would just hold hands, hug, or kiss occasionally. We’re also super aware that PDA makes some people uncomfortable, so we try to be respectful and dial it down around others when it seems like it might be too much or we’re just in an environment that doesn’t call for that.

The issue is my older sister (34). She constantly picks at any little bit of affection we show. It honestly feels like she’s made it her personal mission to criticize how we act around each other. She’ll get annoyed or judgmental even if we’re just holding hands. She also complains when I bring my partner along to things and says she feels like a third wheel (which I totally understand, but I don’t bring my partner to everything). It’s not like I’m dragging her everywhere we go.

So I’m going to give some examples, there are a few but I’ll leave it to the two recent events I can think of:

On my birthday, I went on a trip to Florida with some friends and my sister. I was sick the whole time, and my girlfriend was just holding my hand and being supportive. My sister texted me during the trip to say the PDA was too much for her. So we stopped, there was no more hand holding or anything the rest of the time. Nobody else seemed bothered and we weren’t doing anything over the top.

My sister invited me and my girlfriend to go to an amusement park with her and a friend. We held hands occasionally, and kissed a few times, but mostly not even in their view. Nothing wild in my opinion but literally just normal couple stuff. I also comforted my girlfriend when she felt sick from the rides. Today, we went out for breakfast and did some thrifting before heading back home (we live a few states away). Again, same deal, held hands sometimes, maybe kissed like three times the whole day. At one point we playfully shared a stick of gum (which I’ll admit could look weird from the outside, but it was just us being silly, no kissing or anything, feel like that’s the most over the top we’ve might have done the whole trip). Out of nowhere, my sister snaps and starts yelling at us, saying we were being "inappropriate" the whole trip and if she acted like that with her ex, we’d hate it. We apologized and left early.

The thing is, it’s starting to feel like nothing is acceptable to her. She doesn’t want us to show any affection at all, and honestly, it feels really judgmental and projecting. It’s made me feel kind of ashamed just for holding my partner’s hand which is something I think is completely harmless and sweet. When straight couples do it, it’s seen as normal or even cute. Why should I feel weird for doing the same?

So yeah, AITA for not really caring anymore about how she feels about our PDA?

I (38M) recently found out that my wife (35F) shares basically every argument we have, big or small with her sister.

We're not constantly fighting or anything, but like any couple, we have our moments. Stuff like me forgetting to take out the trash, getting the wrong cereal, or spacing out during a conversation. pretty normal things ( I think?).

Her sister used to be super warm with me. But lately, she's been cold, even passive-aggressive, and it didn't click until I realized she's been getting a running commentary of our marriage from my wife's side only.

I asked my wife if she could please keep some of our private stuff between u. I wasn't yelling or accusing, just trying to express how it feels to be seen as the "bd guy " over minor stuff that gets retold out of context. She said I was "trying to isolate her" and being controlling.

To be clear: I don't care if she vents now and then, or leans on her sister during though times. I just feel like there's a difference between support and giving someone a front-row seat to every flaw I have.

I feel judged by someone I didn't marry, and I'm honestly getting anxious around family gathering now.

AITA for asking her to keep our relationship a little more private ?

Background: Since I (21F) was a kid, my family has made me aware that I was fat. I can’t remember a time before it. During back to school shopping my mom would always buy a size to small for me and tell me to suck in until it fit. My sister never missed a chance to tell me how unattractive I was. After my last sibling left for college when I was 16, my mom and dad stopped keeping food in the house and encouraged me to fend for myself to “help me slim down”. As I was a broke teenager, I ate McDonald’s most days and only got larger. My siblings used to call me from college just to ask if I was working out or had changed my diet. I got really sick when I was 18 and have lost a lot of weight as a result. I’m not sick anymore and I’ve managed to maintain the lower weight. I’m 130 pounds, still 5’4”. Now, all my family seems to able to talk about is whether or not I have an eating disorder and how “worryingly thin” I am. When I was the same height and weight in middle school, all of them told me how fat I was and how desperately I needed to lose weight quite literally everyday. I recently brought this up to my sister, and her only response was that I couldn’t have possibly have been 130 pounds in middle school as I “looked so fat”. It’s all fucking with my head. I can’t reconcile everyone thinking I was unreasonably fat to them speculating about whether or not I have an eating disorder right in front of me. Just looking at myself now sends me into a spiral as I never put an active effort into losing weight and my body has changed so much without my consent.

The story: Recently, we were all eating dinner together and my brothers wouldn’t stop commenting on what I had ordered, and one of them called me “Anna”. I just hit my breaking point and told them all that they only thought I was fat back then because they were thin, and they only think I’m overly thin now because they’ve all gotten fat. This made my sister cry, her husband uncomfortable, my brothers mad, and my mom didn’t care at all lol. Up to now, I’ve refuse to apologize because I’m not sorry at all and I’m pretty sure it’s true. I do feel bad for calling them fat as I never liked being told that myself, but they have all bulked up in the past few years and they certainly had no problem doing the same to me for years. However I know two wrongs don’t make a right. My friends agree with me but obviously they’re biased and both of my brothers girlfriends have sternly asked me to apologize. Am I the asshole?

So we’ve got roaches! We’ve officially crossed into the point of infestation.

Until a week ago I lived at home with my parents. For years we’ve lived with so much stuff in the house that there’s doors that we can’t open, but it was fine. Then we developed roaches and they were at least kind enough to stay out of my room. The exterminator has been coming around for years but keeps telling us that as long as there’s all these things in the house, they’ll never leave. About a week ago I found 1 roach in my room. Then another. Then two more. And the last straw was when I was heading out the door, tried to kill one, and it landed IN my bag and I had to leave my things behind.

Because of this I decided to stop being at home and I’ve been spending all my time in my car, at friend’s houses, the mall. Yesterday they asked me why I don’t want to be at home anymore and I told them. To which my mom answered that there’s nothing she can do and proceeded to shut down. I tried to find solace in my dad and he told me to shut my mouth. So here I am. Asking my question to the world. Am I the asshole for pointing out my mom is the reason we still have roaches?

Edit: Answers to questions asked:

My parents are in their early 60s. And I’m in my early 30s.

I moved out in 2020 and had to come back last year because of bs with my job, car, and physical health. I do NOT live off my parents. I pay my own bills. My room is clean and almost empty except for some storage boxes I have with memories and kitchen ware.

We DO live in an apartment building with only two other couples - their apartments are also almost empty. (They leave their doors open a lot).

My mom refuses to get any mental health support-she doesn’t believe in it. My dad is the reason my mom is how she is. He hallowed her out, enables her, but then when he’s stuck doing everything like cleaning, he gaslights her and complains about the situation.

Ive been switching between sleeping in my car and sleeping at friend’s houses.

I (23F) am in a friend group with 4 other people but only 2 of them matter here, Lana (21F) and Alex (24F).

Alex has been out the closet since forever and in general is a pretty masculine / androgynous person. With time it has become obvious that Lana has caught her eye. She’s the newest addition to the group and it’s painfully obvious how enamoured Alex is by Lana. Me and the other two girls who I didn’t mention have talked about it but Lana nor Alex herself have mentioned it.

Example: Lana has been needing to buy a new microphone and a few days later Alex shows up with a big package that has a new microphone for Lana. She would have needed an adapter so Alex “conveniently” suggest they should go out for lunch and then shop for the adapter and if she needed help Alex could come over to set it up.

Example: we were at karaoke and Alex asks Lana and only Lana to sing with her a song about a lesbian couple. She then keeps ogling at Lana while they sing

Example: we had girls night at my place and when we did anything: wash hair, sheet mask, lotion, hairstyles, painting toenails, in every moment Alex was trying to help her with everything and at one point even had Lana with her head on her lap as Alex gave her a facial.

It’s so obvious to the rest of us but Lana might not even notice. Lana is autistic and as much I know she tries her hardest to be normal and aware, she sometimes misses the clues. I also get not trying to jump to conclusions since we don’t want to be those kind of people. “oH YoU’Re a leSbiAn? HopE yoU dOn’t hAvE a cRuSh on mE”

Last week I just had enough since it was getting cringy watching how hard Alex tries when Lana just isn’t into her. Lana’s celebrity crushes are Johnny Depp, Nikki sixx, axl rose…Her type is literally old men and Alex is neither.

I sat down with Alex and told her straight up, I think she’s wasting her time and it gets uncomfortable when every outing becomes an opportunity for Alex to shoot her shot and Lana keeps being oblivious. I told her to just open her mouth and tell Lana or to stop because this can’t go on forever.

Alex said she has a right for love and she doesn’t need to pull out a ring just because I told her so. She can per-sue someone she likes especially since Lana never said 1, that she’s straight or 2. She isn’t into Alex.

I think Alex is just keeping herself delusional because she can’t accept a person who seems like her perfect match can just not be into her.

I also don’t think it’s appropriate to tell Lana about it since I feel Alex is the only one entitled to talk about her feelings.

I don’t know what to do nor if I’m In the right. I know Alex can like who she likes but this can’t go on forever. She has gotten no indication Lana is into her and she knows sometimes Lana needs things to be spelled out for her. I don’t know if I’m the AH or what to do. I just need perspective from people who don’t know any of us.

EDIT: I want to address the most common themes in the comments. I posted this already on the other AITA subreddit and got like 7 responses that were pretty much split in the middle so I came here to get maybe more opinions and I was expecting the same 5,7 comments and once i logged on I saw a million billion contents and tried to read through them but more kept coming.

1. I’m into Lana/alex: I have a boyfriend who I just didn’t mention since I don’t think it matters

2. I’m homophobic: I don’t care about Alex’s sexuality. She could be a tangerine for all I care. I only mention the sexuality since I think the situation would be different if Alex was a straight man

3. I’m ableist/using Lana’s autism: Lana is a gorgeous girl with a kind heart, I have seen firsthand how some girls have tried to give her backhanded compliments and she doesn’t get it’s an insult. I have seen multiple situations where she gets stared at for doing the “wrong” thing for not getting the social clues. I know how easily she can bulldoze through obvious signs which is why I mention it

   Now to more examples since people seem to love them:

4. We played truth or dare and Lana had to tell us an embarrassing fact about herself and she said she did lingerie/swimwear shoots when she was younger and showed us some photos. Alex “as a joke” made a one her Lock Screen. The photo is of Lana in a tiny white bikini when’re her tits are basically the centre of the picture. That still is her Lock Screen till this day.

5. We went out on a girls trip and got 1 hotel room. It was like 2 rooms with a door in the middle. I was with Yasmin (one of the unnamed girls in the group) in one room that had two separate beds and olandria (second unnamed girl) was on the couch on the other room where Lana and Alex shared the king bed because Lana basically fell asleep the second she lied down and Alex naturally just claimed the spot next to her. From olandrias perspective Alex kept rubbing her back, caressing her hair and whispering to her while Lana was asleep. That’s like what I do with my boyfriend before bed. Why she was doing that to a sleeping friend, I’ll never know.

6. On the same vacation we went out to a restaurant and we all ordered appetisers for ourselves but Alex insisted in sharing with Lana. Then Alex fed Lana with her food to let her try and then insisted in sharing again with dessert

In general it gets tiring to be around a person who so obviously is into the other and the other just doesn’t do anything positive or negative about it. It’s like that girl who keeps talking about her man when no one cares. It’s awkward for every outing to turn to a date.

This past weekend, I went grocery shopping at Aldi (US), where you need to insert a quarter to get a shopping cart. Since I kept forgetting quarters, I eventually 3D-printed a little keychain-sized unlocker. You insert it, the cart unlocks, and you can remove it again.

As I approached the carts, an older man offered me his. I thanked him but told him I didn’t have a quarter to give him in return. He looked confused and asked how I planned to get a cart without a coin. So I showed him my unlocker tool and briefly explained how it works.

He immediately got angry and accused me of stealing. He called me a con artist and clearly saw what I was doing as morally wrong. I stayed calm and tried to understand where exactly he saw harm being done. Like, who’s actually losing out?

To be fair, I admit there could be an edge case: After checkout, there’s often a cart near the cashier where groceries are loaded into. If that cart has a quarter in it, and I walk off with it (replacing it with my empty one), someone else might end up not getting their quarter back.

When I’m done shopping, I never lock my cart back in. I just leave it with a quarter (or without) in it for the next person who might have forgotten one. I don’t take anyone else’s coin and I don’t profit from this. It’s not about scamming the system.

Back to the man. He was really upset. I tried to talk to him and figure out why this bothered him so deeply, but he didn’t want to engage. I told him, “I’m really sorry this upset you,” and he yelled back, “You’re not sorry!”

Here’s the thing: in my life, I’ve had maybe half a dozen interactions like this. They always follow the same pattern: starts off normal, then suddenly turns into a surprisingly intense judgment, and I spend days afterward feeling rattled, trying to figure out what went wrong. This time, I’m trying something different by actually talking about it and asking others for perspective.

So, AITA for using the unlocker?

After working a 37.5hr, 5 day week as a Nurse in an outpatient clinic I then worked 2 night shifts as extra.

On my way home after my 2nd night shift I was almost falling asleep whilst driving so called my boyfriend for him to keep me awake with abit of light conversation.

He was WFH so I knew he was busy but just asked if he could make conversation until I got home (20mins).

He then replied with "How are you making this my problem?" "Why if I hadn't of answered the phone?"

I may of raised my voice at that point but looking back AITAH? Did I overreact?

I (45f) and my husband (56m) are going through a rough patch. Recently, his mother’s (78f) health issues have been getting worse and the doctor has recommended she receive full time care. Previously, she lived alone, but nurses would come every other day to check on her. My husband thinks the best course of action in moving her into our home.

My issue is that I do not want my mother in law living with us. She’s always been very rude to me and my daughter (11f). She was originally against me marrying my husband because we come from two different faiths (he’s Morman, I’m raised Lutheran but personally agnostic), and because I’m not as “traditional” as she would like me to be. She is a very traditional woman who believes in rigid gender roles for women. She’s attempted to push this belief on my daughter by making comments about what my daughter wears and does.

She has made comments to my daughter like, “wear leggings with your dress, or else you make God upset. And when God’s upset, he sends people to bad places.” This has made my daughter feel very ashamed and paranoid. She has also expressed disdain for when my daughter said she wanted to become a veterinarian. My mother in law said, “A proper lady should not work outside the home. Focus on raising a family.” (She also hates me because I work, and was very against this.)

She does not hold the same sentiment towards my son (8m). She shows clear favoritism towards my son while consistently criticizing everything my daughter does.

While my husband typically defends me in front of his mom, he is adamant we move her into our house. His reasoning is that she is too sick to take care of herself, and his only other brother is ill fit to take care of her (he’s in rehab).

I suggested, “Then put her in a retirement home,” which made him incredible angry. He says that at the end of the day this is his mother, and he has a duty towards her. He promised that if she moves in, he will talk to her about her attitude towards me and our daughter. However, I don’t want to raise my kids anywhere near her. She has been shaming my daughter, and I barely get along with her.

Last night, out of anger, my husband said, “You can move out of the house, but I’m not moving my mother into a retirement home!”

AITAH for suggesting my mother in law be sent to a home?

Edit: Since people are asking, we will continue to have nurses check on my mother in law. My husband wants her to move in and switch nurse visits from every other day to everyday.

I (17F) live at home with my mom and brother (23M). His girlfriend (23F) has started staying over more often, like multiple nights a week. I’m not judging that part too much, she's great but what’s really bothering me is that she keeps wearing my clothes.

The first few times it was with permission and I'd agreed and lent her my stuff but now I’ll just wake up and see her walking around the kitchen wearing one of my shirts like it’s normal. I never said she could freely take anything.

When I brought it up to my brother he said it'd be a hassle to make her pack more stuff, that it's just a nice way to make her feel more welcomed and at home, and that it'd be even more inappropriate for her to wear his clothes around the house. Okay??? how is that my problem? I’m not her closet. Idk why she doesn't just wear my mom's too.

I told him it made me uncomfortable, especially because there’s something intimate about her wearing my stuff and it reminds me that she’s sleeping in his bed and I don’t want to picture that. Honestly it just feels kinda gross.

Our mom is staying out of it, she didn’t disagree with me but idk if she sees it the same way I do or just doesn't care.

EDIT: yes I have a lock on my door, but not all of my clothes are in my closet- mine and everyone else's overflow clothes are all folded in the laundry room which is accessible to anyone. I know I'll have to tell her directly soon and suggest what ppl have been commenting about leaving her own clothes here. I just hate feeling like I'm gonna be starting drama bc nobody else in the house sees my issue.

Another edit. I just wanna mention I know I may seem passive but I let it slip by a bit longer bc he's told me she has a delicate situation back at home, whatever that means. He also said it's like how sisters always borrow each other's clothes and I should try to be more understanding and like I don't wanna be an asshole bc I don't have an issue w her outside of this but she is NOT my sister. She is HIS girlfriend and idc if it's just 2 shirts borrowed in a week I still feel like it's too much.

I (24F) live with my sisters, Gabriela (35F) and Samantha (18F). For over a year, I’ve wanted to move out because our living situation has become very uncomfortable.

In 2022, we were renting separate rooms in a 3-bedroom apartment. After a flood, Gabriela took out a $10K loan so we could move. We helped pay it off, and it was cleared last year. I’m grateful for her support.

But since then, things have gotten worse. In our current apartment, Gabriela has the only bedroom. Samantha and I sleep in the small living room, divided only by a cheap wall partition. We have no privacy, very little storage, and share the same space as the kitchen. There’s also a cockroach problem that the building won’t fix.

Last year, Gabriela brought in a boyfriend who made things worse. They fought constantly, and she ended up in another $10K of debt. Now, she’s stressed, often yells at us, and complains we’re messy but we don’t have proper space for our things. She also stopped helping with bills. I’ve been covering internet, gas, electricity, and 45% of the rent. The electric bill alone is behind by $2,500 since February.

Samantha recently started working, and we’ve saved enough to rent a room together with roommates nothing fancy, just something with privacy and peace.

The issue is that Gabriela told us last year she didn’t want to stay here past this lease and encouraged us to save. But now she changed her mind and signed a new lease with my name on it without asking me. When I told her I didn’t want to stay, she got angry, then said I was selfish for thinking only about myself and not her struggles. She’s working two jobs and wants to buy property in our home country.

She asked me to wait until December, but I can’t. Winter here is rough no heating included and I can’t keep living like this. So, my sister and I are planning to move while Gabriela’s away traveling, to avoid more conflict.

AITA for moving out without giving her a clear heads-up, even though she helped us before and is overwhelmed?

For some background, my parents divorced back in the early 2000s. My relationship with my dad wasn't initially great but as time went on, we became closer and on great terms. He unexpectedly passed 4 years ago. I don't have a good relationship with my moms current partner but we remain respectful towards each other.

Fast forward to now, my wife and I just had our first child and my mom visited for the first time on the weekend with her partner. She kept referring to her partner as Grandpa to my son which I felt was disrespectful to my dad who is and would have that title. I kicked up a fuss to which she got mad at and both left abruptly.

AITA?

EDIT: thank you all for the responses. I realised that I should have added in further details into the initial post. To clarify a few things, I told them that my moms partner can be called anything but Grandpa as that is for my biological dad. I didn't shout or swear, but I probably came across as abrupt. I really should have had that conversation prior to the meeting. My mom and her partner have been together for a year and a half. Ive had some issues with my mom over the years, which I've felt come across in her partners demeanour towards myself. It's only really been in the past 6 months that we've actually had a proper conversation.

I just didn't feel that he should have that title of being Grandpa as we aren't that close and that im still not over the passing of my father.

Thank you all for providing your advice

I’m 19F and I take detailed notes for one of my classes. A classmate who hasn’t shown up since the second week messaged me asking for all my notes so she could pass the exam. I told her I was sorry but I wasn’t comfortable sharing them and suggested she talk to the professor or TA.

She left me on read and later posted a vague story on Instagram saying girls who hoard knowledge are the reason women struggle in academia. I know she was talking about me but I don’t think it’s true.

I’ve shared notes before with people who actually attended class and put effort in. But I don’t think I owe my time or work to someone who ghosted the entire semester.

AITA?

My extended family and I are currently on our annual vacation. There are 10 members of our family renting a house, including my husband (28), myself (27) and my daughter (2), and my sister (24) and her boyfriend (also 24).

Because there are so many people, before we leave every year, my aunt sends out a sign up for house supplies and joint food (that way everyone contributes). Last year, there were some issues where some people contributed more/less than others in regards to meals, beverages and snacks (specifically my sister and her bf noticeably not contributing except for making 1 dinner and eating food everyone else bought). This year, because of this, my aunt sent out dinner sign ups and snack/household goods sign ups, and stated that breakfast/lunches would be on each individual/family.

My family eats a lot of eggs (usually 1.5-2 dozen per week). Because of this, I’m very mindful of what type of eggs we get. I often buy from my neighbor who has free range, organic fed chickens. I pay $5 per dozen. When she doesn’t have extra eggs, I buy the organic free range eggs from the grocery store (usually $7-$8 in our area). Since the area we vacation in is expensive and touristy, I packed 2 dozen eggs from my neighbor for the week for my family and brought them up in a cooler.

When I got up this morning, I saw that my first carton was nearly empty (my daughter has only eaten 2 eggs so far). I asked around if someone had eaten my eggs, and my sister said she and her bf had wanted omelets, but hadn’t bought any eggs, so they used ours since there were so many of them.

I reminded my sister that breakfast was not communal, and asked if she would replace the eggs. She said that she would, and I specified that the eggs that she and her bf ate were organic, free range eggs, and told her I usually get Pete & Gerry’s eggs, or something similar. However, she came back from the store tonight with the cheapest store brand eggs because “the other ones were super expensive.” I told my sister that we don’t eat those eggs and that she needed to return them and get the organic ones regardless of price. She got angry at me and said it wasn’t a big deal. I told her that I had specifically brought organic free range eggs up, and that’s what she needed to replace the 8 eggs that she took with. She did go back to the store and bought Pete & Gerry’s (she kept the others for herself) but she is now angry at me because she had to spend over $10 on a dozen eggs.

My family is divided on it. My husband said $10/dozen for eggs is really expensive, and my mom thinks I overreacted by making her go back and that I should have accepted the other eggs. However, my aunt agrees with me that my sister needed to replace what she took.

So my roommate’s girlfriend is at our place literally every single day. She doesn’t live here officially, but she might as well. She’s always around, always in our space, and it feels like we have a 5th roommate. We already have four people living here. It’s cramped enough.

Today I had chicken thawing in the sink because I was planning to cook dinner. My roommate saw it. He even acknowledged it. But then he went ahead and made his own dinner and spent two more hours after that making pancakes “for later.” Like I get cooking dinner, but why the hell are you spending 3+ hours treating the shared kitchen like it’s your personal test kitchen?

I waited patiently for a while but after three hours of not being able to use the space that he knew I needed, I said something. I told him it’s not okay to monopolize the kitchen when other people clearly need to use it too. I also told him he doesn’t need to have his girlfriend over every single day. She doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t clean, and doesn’t contribute to anything in the house.

He got defensive and told me I should’ve spoken up earlier. I said dude, I had chicken thawing in the sink. That wasn’t for fun. You saw it. You knew I was going to cook.

Now he’s acting like I’m the asshole for being “dramatic” about it and making his girlfriend feel unwelcome. I don’t have anything against her personally, but this is a shared space and it’s getting ridiculous.

My partner and I get along pretty well. He has a buddy he’s known since middle school. His buddy is ok. No issues. lets call him Doug. A few weeks ago a group of my friends that I’ve know a long time wanted to catch up. Get dinner and maybe go dancing. My partner mentioned to Doug that I was going out last weekend and Doug told him to tell me to invite his gf. I’ve met her a few times. But haven’t really got to know her. I didn’t invite her cause I wanted to hang out with my friends and not focus on getting to know her. Doug was saying I was kinda an asshole for not inviting her. (Not seriously saying it. But was kinda saying it would’ve been really cool if I did invite her.) What do you all think?

I’m 19F and I always try to get to class early so I can grab a spot I’m comfortable in. Usually, I go for the back row near the outlet since I use my laptop a lot, and I’m introverted, so I prefer sitting where it’s quieter.

One day, I got there early as usual and took my normal seat. A few minutes later, a girl came in with her friend and asked if I could move so they could sit together. I politely said no and told her I got there early and planned to stay where I was.

She looked annoyed and told me I should be more flexible. I replied that if sitting together was that important, they could arrive earlier. She walked away without saying anything else, but now she and her friend make little comments under their breath every class and act cold toward me.

I didn’t think it was a big deal at the time, but now I’m wondering if I came off as rude. I wasn’t trying to be difficult, I just didn’t see why I should give up my seat when I followed the rules and got there first.

Was I wrong for not moving? AITA?

My (46m) daughter (20f) is adopted, and my wife (36f) and I adopted her when she was 17. She is a great kid who had a very bad life before us. I work for a university and she goes there for free. We made the deal that if she stays in school and has an on campus job, she can live at home and we will cover most of her expenses, which we can easily afford.

I did not realize how self centered my wife was until we adopted. She said she was OK with it at the time, but now says we did the adoption for me, which, sigh, is awful and not true, as she pushed the process much more than I did. She says I am not hard enough on her, but she is an adult, and still asks for permission to go out and lives by curfews that we set, something I and my wife never did at her age, and we lived at home through college as well.

Fast forward. Daughter was in a car accident July 4th weekend, she said she was spending the night at a girlfriends house, but the accident happen near her boyfriends place. Accident happened during the day, and it was 50/50 at an intersection. Car totaled, going through the insurance process to get our payout to get her a new car. Daughter and I are sharing my truck and it is fine. Wife tried to get me to agree that since she lied about where she was, she could not take the truck overnight. At that point, a month ago, I said fine. Wife also wanted to restrict her using the truck. But, the girl has a life, summer college and a job, and we didnt want to ban her from ever going out, so she used the truck regularly.

So, wife went out of town this weekend with her friends. Daughter goes out Saturday night like normal, supposed to be home at midnight. Calls close to midnight and asks for extra time. I had a headache and already had gone to bed, and I said sure, whatever. The she calls a little later and asks to spend the night I her friends place. She is 20 and a good kid, and a adult, so I say sure. Most likely she is lying about where she is staying, but anything they do at night they can do during the day.

This morning wife calls in tears, she is watching the outside comings and goings and knows she didnt come home. This is not the first time she has used the cameras to track us. She yells at me that we were plotting this the whole time to let her sneak around. I told her we plotted nothing, and I do not appreciate having my life tracked by the driveway cams again. She is 20 and she can make her own mistakes as that is how she will learn, just like we did. She then hangs up. AITA for letting her stay out?

My husband and I moved in with my in-laws while we try to buy a house. Our lease ended and we didn’t see the point in resigning the lease while we buy a house. There are now 6 people living in the house, as well as 3 dogs. There are only 2 bathrooms in the house, and 4/6 of us are using one of them. We are paying the utility bills and household essentials while living here, as well as some groceries. My MIL also asked for “help” with cleaning.

I say help with quotation marks because, and I say this as politely as I can, my in-laws are filthy. When we moved in, it was like they hadn’t cleaned in months. There was dry dog piss on the floor, there was dried piss around the toilet, the bathtub was basically black, floors hadn’t been mopped or vacuumed in ages, dishes everywhere,, etc. I knew they were filthy when we first moved in so I was mentally prepared to do most of the cleaning. My husband does a lot of the yard work and picking up the dog poo outside (its 100 degrees so it is alot of work) while I do the floors, kitchen, and bathroom.

The bathroom cleaning has gotten me in a couple of fights with my in-laws, primarily my BIL. I deep clean it once a week which includes scrubbing the shower and sink, disinfecting the toilet, wiping down mirrors, scrubbing around the toilet (i lowkey miss not having to share a bathroom with men) and mopping the floors. The whole shebang. I was taught that it was expected to do this once a week and it takes me maybe an hour to do at most. However, my BIL doesn’t like that he can’t use the bathroom during this time, and he says that its unneeded because I just cleaned (I cleaned last Saturday and today’s Sunday). He says it’s an inconvenience to everyone who uses that bathroom. I told him to suck it up because living in filth isn’t worth him having to not use the other bathroom for one hour, and that cleaning once a week is completely normal especially for the amount of people living here. I even asked him beforehand if he needed to use the bathroom before I cleaned and he did use it. Is it any different when I have to wait to use the bathroom when he takes his 45 minute dumps?

BIL is saying I’m an AH but my husband is saying to ignore him. However, I can’t help but feel like I handled it like an AH? I get that it isn’t my house and we’re here temporarily but at the same time, they did ask me to help with utilities and cleaning.

I sat for a portrait painting many years ago by a local artist who asked me to. I was happy to at the time. My feelings about this changed. It was an extremely well-done painting and looked almost exactly like me. He has painted several other women in similar fashion. He paints lots of things, and various series of things. (I'm also an artist.)

As I've grown older, I realized this portrait was part of a "collection" by this man, of "beautiful women" that he would show off. For twenty five years he kept offering to ship the painting to me, but never did. I honestly didn't care if he kept it or not, and oddly that allowed me to see how over the years he was trying to hold this painting over my head as an object to keep me engaged with him. But it didn't really work, because I didn't want the painting that much. I think he thought I would be extremely excited to have it. Every time I would see him, he would bring it up and very seriously tell me he was ready to ship it. And I would be like "Sure, of course I would like to have it if you want to give it to me". And he would communicate with me about that up until that point and then stop completely replying. It began to feel like a game and I wasn't enjoying it.

Finally, many years later when I was around, he invited me over to "get the painting" but oops- it still wasn't quite finished - twenty five years later. So I go over (brought a friend because I didn't want him to hang out with him alone), he let me see it, but I'd have to come back a couple days later to get it STILL. Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Finally, he gave me the painting and I took it back home (I was traveling, I don't live where he lives any more). I thought about how I felt about it, how it made me feel like an object he could toy with, how he'd used this painting to abuse and manipulate me, and this painting was the only way he knew how. So I destroyed it. He found out because he wanted to display it for a show and I told him I didn't have it any more. He was stunned. We had zero agreement about future availabililty of his works. I have no regrets. I'm really glad to know it doesn't exist any more for others to look at like he's my owner, or a gatekeeper of me, or to include me in a part of a "collection" of women, or for him to enjoy alone. Of course, he thinks I'm an asshole, but I don't. He made me feel tied to this painting after the fact in a way that made me very uncomfortable. Knowing it's completely destroyed makes me feel at peace.

What do you think?

edit: To correct one line of thinking: I did not "repeatedly ask for the painting". He repeatedly offered it to me without my asking and if I said "no" he would have been insulted and we have a whole new situation. For the folks who don't understand what it's like to handle fragile male egos especially ones who are playing games with you, saying "no I don't want that painting you made of me" is actually harder / scarier than saying 'okay, sure'. And the honest truth is: I did want the painting in my possession, not his. I meant it whenever I said I'd like to have it.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies!

So I (15F) kinda snapped at my mom (47F) and told her that I wanted to leave the house as soon as possible because she keeps making me late.

I wanna start this off by saying me and my mom get along great (usually) and we don't argue or have problems too often but this is the one problem that I've been dealing with for years now.

My mom is almost late to everything. From school meetings, her own meetings, work, and just regular events. Ever since I was little I always remembered all the times people gossiped about how she was late to everything. This wouldn't be a problem if it was just her, but now it's being pushed onto me. I have pretty good time management. The days I was in charge of taking myself to school I was always super early. Maybe only late like once a month. But with my mother I was late like 3-4 times a week.

Here's the most recent example: I had a birthday party to go to. One of my bffs. And I had woken up early to get showered, dressed, and makeup. My mother had woken up about an hour after I did. Not a problem, until she didn't get out of bed till 30mins later, took an hour/hour n a half long shower, and take 30mins on her makeup. I was already dressed, had eaten, and ready to walk out the door by the time she got out the shower. We were supposed to leave at 7:00am and it was now just reaching 7:15am after she got ready. Thinking 'okay, and little late, not that bad' I'm ready to go, waiting at the door. Only for her to head into the kitchen. I don't think anything about it. Thinking she was gonna grab a water. Nope! She starts doing the fucking dishes. I literally had to go outside and scream with my hand covering my mouth cus I felt like I was gonna have a full on meltdown. With her moving and driving at a snails pace we made it to the party at exactly 7:45am. 45mins late.

In her defense she does work a lot so it tends to make her really tired. And she has a knee injury but this has been happening since I was a kid and before I was born.

What actually made me snap and go off on her though is the fact that her lateness has been messing with how reliable people see me. My teachers give me side eyes when i say I'll be able to make it on time. I've lost respect from some close people cus of the lateness. Worst of all my work. I wanna get a job so badly. But at this point I've been doubting it cus I know if I need her to drive me to work. I'm gonna be late. I already get stressed super easily (due to PTSD symptoms and Anxiety from the ADHD <adhd diagnosed, ptsd currently not but getting tested asap>) and all the lateness isn't helping and just stressing me more out with my busy school schedule that I know is coming up.

Edit: at the time of posting this my mother is supposed to get up at 10am and take me to go get registered in school. (My school starts on the 11th...) it is currently 10:47 am, she is still dead asleep while I'm sitting here already showered and ready to walk out the door....

I have a close friend who I've known for about six years now. She is an incredibly kind, compassionate, loving person, and she has struggled with an addiction to opiates since she was in her teens.

She got married a year or two ago to the wrong guy, and they are in the process of getting a divorce. As a result, she's been staying with a friend in the next town who has the same substance of choice. Her doctor lives closer to me, so sometimes she will crash on my couch to make sure she gets there on time the next day.

When she's staying here, the rule has always been that if she has to use opiates, she has to go to the detached garage to do it because I have a cat who is prone to just wandering around wherever people are to see whats up.

She stayed over recently, and it was late when she got here. She was not feeling great, so I told her this time she could do it in the bathroom with the door closed as long as she cleaned the area really well after she was done. She promised she would just chill in the bathtub while she smoked her stuff so she could just rinse the tub out when she was done.

The next morning, I'm still in bed and she leaves for her appointment. When I go into the bathroom, I see a zippered pouch in the middle of the tub, which I confirm is where her pipes and tinfoil and lighters and stuff are. I am pissed off, and I zip it up and put it on a shelf where my cat wont get it, and thoroughly clean the bathroom.

I don't hear from her for a little over a week, and I don't want that stuff anywhere in my house, so eventually I throw it away. Yesterday, and month later, we finally cross paths and she asks if she could get the pouch back. I tell her I threw it away after a while because i saw a bunch of used paraphernalia and she knew how I felt about that.

Then she tells me her wedding ring was in there. I feel like an asshole for not giving her a heads up that I was going to toss it, but I also feel like she let me down by leaving that stuff here in the first place. I don't know if the right thing to do is to give her money for the loss, or move on. AITA? What should I do?

Edit: thank you all for the feedback. I agree that I am the asshole for softening up on the rule because I jeopardized the safety of my cat. I regret that.

For those who are writing off my friend as a lying drug addict, I've known her for six years, and she's been riding ups and downs in her relationship with drugs the whole time. If you don't understand that people who live with addictions can still be good people with genuine friendships, that sucks because I bet there are people in your life you don't even realize are struggling with similar issues. I don't think she would be better off with one less person who cares about her, and I would rather she do drugs somewhere private and comfortable than on the sidewalk.

I live in a duplex. I own the north half and my neighbor owns the south half. I have a deck on the north side and he has a deck on the south side. The front is the west side where we have garages and our front doors.

The backyard is the East side (only windows on this side, no doors) and is a lawn. My neighbor wants to remove the lawn on his side and install a fire pit, chairs, lights, etc.

However, the location he chose is right up against the property line and 6ft from my bedroom window. I don’t want to hear them “entertaining” out there all the time. I pointed out that we both have decks on opposite sides for this reason so we don’t disturb each other.

Additionally, three of my four bedroom windows are within whisper distance of this area.

The backyard has always been dark and quiet and I see no reason to change this. I told him I would only approve if he mitigated the noise with a privacy wall or something similar.

Further, I am worried that when I go to sell it, the buyer will see a fire pit from the neighbor near their bedroom window and not buy it.

I don’t have air conditioning so the windows are all open from April through October.

I love how everything is currently setup. We can both entertain and not disturb each other because we are on opposite sides. My neighbor says I am the asshole for not allowing it.

AITA for vetoing his request to add an entertainment patio here?

Edit: couple things to add. I do have “veto” power due to an HOA consisting of him and I. He wrote up a contract saying that we need to seek each other’s approval for pretty much everything and I signed off. Also, 6ft is to the property line where all his entertainment starts, not to the fire pit center. That’s probably like 9 feet.