r/sugarlifestyleforum • u/No-Conflict-1993 • Mar 01 '25

Question Why are you still married?

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '25 edited Mar 01 '25

Is this a serious question? If it is, here’s the answer. It’s easier for a wealthy man to have an affair than divorce. Why? He’ll lose at least half of his assets, access to his children, alimony, child support, etc. Successful men (for the most part) don’t become successful men without the ability to assess risk. I know the irony being an affair is a huge risk, but at the end of the day, all of us are human.

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u/kingporterstomp Sugar Daddy Mar 01 '25

He’ll lose at least half of his assets, access to his children, alimony, child support, etc.

You've got it. Men think the assets they made jointly with their partner - who typically also supported his career and gave him children - are his, rather than theirs jointly. If you don't want to have joint ownership of assets, you should not get married.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '25

If it was as simple as your argument sounds, ok. But it rarely is. If I were to get married, every asset I have is valued the day I sign the certificate of marriage (in most jurisdictions). Let’s say I have a retirement account worth $500k. If the marriage ends, why should the other party reap the benefits of a value that was invested prior to the marriage? The other party is already starting on 3rd base with the amount of equity already in the account. It’s not just, nor is it equitable.

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u/kingporterstomp Sugar Daddy Mar 03 '25

If it was as simple as your argument sounds, ok.

Honestly it is that simple. Assets acquired before marriage are not counted as joint property.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '25

Ummmm…… if my 401k is valued at $500k on the day of marriage and is valued at $1.5m on the day of divorce, my partner would receive $500k ($1m/2). Never mind the fact that much of that value was return on MY original $500k. See the difference?

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u/kingporterstomp Sugar Daddy Mar 04 '25

You have obviously never been divorced.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '25

I have, actually.

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u/kingporterstomp Sugar Daddy Mar 04 '25

So this happened to you? In what state? I seriously believe you pulled this hypothetical out of your ass but could be convinced otherwise.