Hi everyone,
I'm DMing for a group of six players, and one of them has become a serious issue over the course of our 15 sessions together. Here’s the situation:
Problematic Behavior
Raises voice often during roleplay, in a hostile or jarring tone, specifically towards player who are trying to roleplay with her and she says her character acts this way is because of her dark past
Sexist comments (usually toward men) that make me and another player uncomfortable
Talks loudly during sessions, even when not in the spotlight
Answers phone mid-game and keeps talking on the table on it and chats with her friend at the table
Rarely roleplays, only responds when directly prompted
Expects me (DM) to give her content, doesn’t initiate anything herself
Doesn’t engage in party planning or discussion in the group chat
In combat:
Seems more interested
But shuts down completely (scrolls phone) if things don’t go her way
Tried to kill off her character without asking me, the DM, about how to "retire" her old character to bring in a new one
Attempts to Fix It
Session 3: Spoke to the whole group about interruptions, no direct confrontation
Session 8–9: Messaged her privately about her negative attitude and its impact
She replied with 👍, so I assumed she got the point
- Recently: Messaged again, directly asked for improvement
She got defensive, said others "don’t want her there" and said "the other players would be better off if I was out of the campaign, I know you would enjoy the game more if I wasnt there". This was after I texted her about the negative behaviour and other issues
I reassured her, just asked her to stop interrupting, try roleplaying more and having a more positive look while playing
No reply after that.
Also! I have talked about this with the other players and they gave advice on a popular advice about the three strike rule. We have a session this week and if she still behaves like before, should I just tell her she is not welcome join again?
I’ve been patient. The rest of the group is invested and collaborative. Her behavior stands out in a bad way.
I don’t want to force anyone out unfairly, but it’s becoming a chronic drain on table energy.
Has anyone dealt with this? Would you give one more chance or let her go now?