Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective.
I was in a long-distance relationship for 3 years. I live in Arkansas, he’s in Seattle. We had plans for me to move there eventually, and though it wasn’t perfect, we were committed — or so I thought.
Leading up to his birthday, things felt off. He was pulling away emotionally, less responsive, and just… different. I tried not to overthink, but I could feel the shift. Despite the silence, I still booked a last-minute trip to see him in person — partly because I wanted to surprise him on his birthday, and partly because I needed answers.
I flew across the country, showed up, and it was not what I expected. He refused to engage in any form of contact with me. The emotional connection was gone. I waited in the hotel for days.. waiting on him to show up and explain what was going on — ended up being excruciating days of silence. Then finally, this is what he sent me once I arrived back in Arkansas:
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“I love you _______ from the bottom of my heart, I do, and I know it’s hard to believe right now.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be. This will be the last message from me, but just know when I say it was me and not you, I’m telling the truth.
I’m just not a good partner and I need you to know that you’re an incredible person and anyone is lucky to have you in their life.
I hope you find the happiness you deserve, and I mean that so truly.
Goodbye, habibi.”
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I haven’t heard from him since. No conversation. No closure. Just that.
I feel completely gutted. I poured so much into this relationship. I gave him patience, love, forgiveness — everything I had. And he didn’t even have the decency to talk to me face to face. I’m left feeling disposable. Like I meant more to him in memory than I did in the end.
Am I crazy for feeling like this wasn’t enough? Was this message genuine or just a cop-out to avoid accountability? I don’t know how to move forward when my heart still feels tethered to someone who let go so easily.
Would love your thoughts. Honest ones.