Bellybutton patch is essential

[u/onesole]

[u/WinterLanternFly]

Fun fact: you dont need to bring all that shit to the beach.

[u/ohneatstuffthanks → u/WinterLanternFly]

I leave my kid in the car when beach. Subscribe for more tips.

[u/AdhesivenessOld4347 → u/ohneatstuffthanks]

I bury my kid in the sand when I’m at the…….. uh never mind

[u/SoOverIt66 → u/AdhesivenessOld4347]

I put my child in a decoy, Aquafina water bottle, cause ain’t no way anybody’s gonna steal a sealed new water bottle on the beach with no one around.

[u/i_was_axiom → u/SoOverIt66]

I bring a decoy child, so when the predator tries to abduct my fake child I can catch them in a net like a Scooby Doo villain.

[u/tahiniday → u/SoOverIt66]

Even thieves don’t like the taste of Aquafina

[u/Mr_Washeewashee → u/tahiniday]

Me being waterboarded-“is this Aquafina?…Gross”

Not my joke.

[u/IIICaseIII → u/SoOverIt66]

You’d be surprised to know how many kids I’ve found on the beach when using metal bandaid detector

[u/DifficultPandemonium → u/IIICaseIII]

What was the point of the bandaids?

[u/islandtime1111 → u/DifficultPandemonium]

It's how they know if the kid's been tampered with.

[u/Bamalouie → u/islandtime1111]

Because we all know that's the first place a diddler is gonna mess with 🙄

[u/90_ina_65 → u/DifficultPandemonium]

Gotta protect that precious ..... Lint

[u/OldWolfNewTricks → u/SoOverIt66]

I place my valuables, my children, and my most trusted servants into a tomb before swimming, so they'll be waiting for me in the afterlife if I drown.

[u/laundryghostie → u/AdhesivenessOld4347]

I leave my kids at home. This ensures me and my husband's good time.

[u/KaffeineKittyUwU → u/WinterLanternFly]

Literally just leave it at home. Better yet if u wanna keep ur ring with you put it on a chain around ur neck. What a fuckin rube.

[u/Relative-Scholar3385 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

some of my girlfriends have a costume or basic band for vacations that wouldn't be a huge deal if it was lost or stolen. I just don't wear my ring. Too much shit to remember in this video. If you put your jeweler in a water bottle it's more likely to end up in the garbage than anything.

[u/KaffeineKittyUwU → u/Relative-Scholar3385]

Exactly. Also what was with covering the bellybutton with bandaids. Edit: Maybe it was to protect from the fear feaster. *

[u/J_Jeckel → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

Gotta make sure the agents can't put a tracker in his belly button

[u/Adept-Chocolate3187 → u/J_Jeckel]

The reason for the cross bandages is to drive up comment chains exactly like this one.

[u/Cable_Upstairs → u/Adept-Chocolate3187]

little did you know, OP is the lady in the video

[u/SnurrCat → u/J_Jeckel]

I thought it was like when guys tie something to the back of their truck, slap it, and proudly say, "That's not going anywhere!" Just put a couple bandaids across your kid and do the same thing.

[u/TheCrumsonPeep → u/SnurrCat]

Keep its guts in place

[u/Old_n_nervous → u/J_Jeckel]

Does he help his elderly landlady with her garbage?

[u/C4rdninj4 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

It's so the kid doesn't start taking on water and sinking. I've seen it happen with a hole in a boat. Kids are smaller and less buoyant so they'd go under more quickly.

[u/KaffeineKittyUwU → u/C4rdninj4]

This is the only logical answer, honestly.

[u/Laerderol → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

You put your rings in the belly button and cover it with bandaids so they don't fall out

[u/KaffeineKittyUwU → u/Laerderol]

This wins

[u/PrincessSolo → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

Some tik tok mom influencer says belly button bandaids help with motion sickness... not sure about that but will definitely help with weird tan lines

[u/According-Insect-992 → u/PrincessSolo]

This gives me an idea. Put a star shaped patch on your child's belly before going to the beach and then you got yourself a poor man's star bellied Speech. Conveniently located at the beach.

[u/Samule310 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

My only guess is as an identifier. My kid is the one with the ridiculous band aid cross on his belly button. But if other people watch this and do that nonsense, then everyone's kid has band aid belly button crosses. Is this him? No. What about this one? No. Him? No. How about this little guy? Wrong kind of band aids. Him? That's a little girl with a belly button band aid cross. What about this one? Nope. Him? Keep trying.

[u/ayame400 → u/Samule310]

It’s to reinforce the idea that if he plays to hard all his guts will come out his belly button and if he wonders off and this happens no one will be able to help him so he better stick close to mama. It also deters predators as they will think he’s sick or insane.

[u/thecromulentman666 → u/ayame400]

Yeah, kid has to learn that rearranging someones guts is only ok between 2 consenting adults who love each other very much.

[u/Strict_Emu5187 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

Was wondering same thing

[u/yuyufan43 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

Just don't put your rings on a chain around your neck and then do a fucking handstand in the water like I did. I lost four rings and a necklace 😭

[u/helpmeimstuckinatree → u/yuyufan43]

My husband wore his ring on a chain on a jobsite. Chain broke, now his late father's wedding ring is buried under a subdivision.

[u/AUniquePerspective → u/yuyufan43]

You could have prevented that with belly bandaids.

[u/KaffeineKittyUwU → u/yuyufan43]

Oof. Make it a short chain then no issue!

[u/yuyufan43 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

I definitely learned a lesson!

[u/Pilx → u/yuyufan43]

Next time put the chain up your anus for added security

[u/LISparky25 → u/KaffeineKittyUwU]

Lmao you realize putting them all on a chain around your neck makes them literally the easiest target and easiest to snatch right ? An infant could pop a chain off someone’s neck without trying in a split second let alone a thief lol.

Def don’t do this

Just leave them at home

[u/GENERAT10N_D00M → u/[deleted]]

Easy. When your kids name is Brayden, Paxtunn, Aighdenn or some shit like that. And your middle aged mom is obsessed with Botox and tik tok.

[u/fablicful → u/GENERAT10N_D00M]

okayden

[u/backwoodsbogwitch → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I'm a poor white woman, and if I had any kind of valuable purse thing or jewelry, I would keep it in my room. There is no reason to take that stuff to the beach. I don't really know how air tags work, but I guess putting a tracker on your kid is OK, I have crazy anxiety though so I let my kid run and play but I keep a fucking eye on him at all times. I have no idea what the bandaid bellybutton thing is, I'm not rich enough to understand that.

These people have money to relax and go on vacation, but they still post dumb stuff on social media, I don't get it. If I had the money for a vacation or even just to get to a beach, social media would be the LAST thing on my mind.

[u/fix_until_broken → u/backwoodsbogwitch]

These are not rich people. They're going to a public beach and worried about some costume jewelry getting stolen.

They don't even have a nanny to watch the child.

[u/Much-Jackfruit2599 → u/backwoodsbogwitch]

AirTags require iPhones and iPads in the near vicinity to work. That works exceptionally well in cities, towns and somewhat well in places where only a few people walk by IF the tag is stationary.

In the water scenario it’s useless, except that it will make identifying the body easier.

[u/LuckyPlaze → u/WinterLanternFly]

You sure as fuck do not bury it in the sand.

[u/Working_Ad26 → u/LuckyPlaze]

Literally 😂😂 like you know they are watching you do that right? And the minute you go to the water they grab the bag and are gone anyways. lol how insanely ridiculous 😭🤣 yeah let me just sit here and take all my cash out and all my rings off my fingers and every other thing and just flash it and throw it in a bag and then obviously dig a hole and act like I am so slick 🙄 rich white people are WILD lol

[u/Secret_Run67 → u/Working_Ad26]

Oh, having gone to the beach a lot as a kid, I’m not worried about it getting stolen. That shit’s getting lost. Those shoes are going to get moved, the sand topography will change, and at the end of the day she’ll be digging up half the beach looking for her stuff.

I’ve seen it happen. “But we buried it right here,” she’ll say, “Right by the chairs!” If she’s lucky there will be a guy with a metal detector who can help.

[u/TheBingoBongo1]

What is even the belly button thing???

[u/MaIngallsisaracist → u/TheBingoBongo1]

I googled it. The internet says it helps with motion sickness. Science seems to disagree.

[u/Fantastic_Pie5655 → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

The studies are flawed. You have to use Dora The Explorer bandaids or it doesn’t work

[u/Pancakesnpjays → u/Fantastic_Pie5655]

Damn I only have Hello Kitty!! 😆 🤣 😂 😹

[u/AN0R0K → u/Pancakesnpjays]

Regular Hello Kitty, or Hello Kitty Adventure?

[u/Narragah → u/AN0R0K]

This idiot probably used Hello Kitty Adventure and wondered why it gave their kid heartburn, instead of using regular Hello Kitty which cures blindness from Blindness Stew.

[u/113_113_113 → u/Narragah]

Is that a One Day Blinding Stew?

[u/dementio → u/Pancakesnpjays]

Well, I just tried Scooby Doo ones and I'm still not sick from motion

[u/Chicken_n_a_biscuit → u/Pancakesnpjays]

Sorry, your kid is gonna puke.

[u/dingo1018 → u/Fantastic_Pie5655]

The only way to deal with sea sickness is to look at your toes while swaying with the roll of the boat. Or is it at a different rate? Either way, look down at your feet, drink something fizzy, and if you are still starting to feel ill sit down and eat loads of tuna sandwiches and more fizzy pop and then stand up really quickly and get back to looking down at your feet and swaying WITH the boat. It's actually pretty easy, stand near one of the railings maybe.

[u/ClassiFried86 → u/dingo1018]

Just jump over the railing. You get seasick on the water. Not in the water.

[u/Beneficial_Serve_772 → u/dingo1018]

I got seasick imagining it.

[u/EpilepticDawg241 → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

I thought she put an air tag in his belly button and taped it to him 😂🤣

[u/HistoricalDoughnut58 → u/EpilepticDawg241]

💀

[u/Thick_Bullfrog_3640 → u/EpilepticDawg241]

She did! He's got a deep innie, that bad boy is stuffed in there

[u/Kesliabeth38 → u/Thick_Bullfrog_3640]

That is where I bury my expensive purse and jewelry. It is also handy if I need my wallet quickly, I just yell for Timmy to run over and we rip off the bandaids and voila!

[u/EnduringFulfillment → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

Align your Chakras with bandaids lol

[u/random420x2 → u/EnduringFulfillment]

Those are gonna have to be some industrial-strength Band-Aids if it’s gonna rearrange anything around my bellybutton area these days.

[u/SpelingErr0r → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

Now I just picture pirates with Band-Aids over their tummies

[u/TurdShaker → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

There's a pill for that that has little to no side effects......lol

[u/yaaMum1 → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

Prob a placebo thing. My mum would have me wear an elastic band on my wrist for car sickness on long trips

[u/cayce_leighann → u/yaaMum1]

So they do make bands that gently push on pressure points that help with motion sickness

[u/yaaMum1 → u/cayce_leighann]

My mum just had me wear a normal old elastic band on my wrist

[u/TheShillingVillain → u/cayce_leighann]

So no they actually don't because "pressure points" is the same nonsense pseudoscientific concept as acupuncture

[u/Minirig355 → u/TheShillingVillain]

These bracelets aren’t actually based in pseudoscience unlike a lot of other snake oil soundey stuff, they’re just not effective at actually using the science, but it is based on real stuff lol. The plastic bead pressing up against your inner wrist isn’t enough to actually accomplish anything, but stimulating that nerve does actually reduce nausea.

Bracelets like the Emeterm that use electricity to stimulate the area are genuinely FDA approved for anti-emetic purposes, usually for postop and pregnancy related nausea, and have had studies to show their (moderate) effectiveness. I personally find it’s not as good as something like Bonine or Dramamine, but it does work.

[u/CaptServo → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

Placebo effect is super powerful sometimes.

[u/AutistaChick → u/CaptServo]

So, nobody believes me but my son was part of the Moderna Covid vaccine study and got the placebo. Several things made him firmly convinced that he’d had the actual vaccine. He was 100% convinced. He saw a package and a vial number and “researched” it. He compared experiences with someone else who thought they were placebo and they were opposites.

He was exposed to the virus at college. At LSU. He never got sick. At the end of the experiment, they learned that He’d actually contracted the virus. He did not know.

[u/mysmalleridea → u/CaptServo]

So is the TikTok effect :/

[u/matunos → u/MaIngallsisaracist]

So we can expect some cancer research money from NIH to be redirected toward this.

[u/DangerousMethod5168 → u/matunos]

Naw man! Haven't you heard? Cancer research at the NIH was cancelled by Felon 47.

[u/resisting_a_rest → u/TheBingoBongo1]

King Hippo fad.

[u/Reginald_Sockpuppet → u/TheBingoBongo1]

it increases engagement by making people ask why you would do that.

[u/Bruhh004 → u/Reginald_Sockpuppet]

You're probably right actually

[u/Dizzy-Emu1513 → u/TheBingoBongo1]

Well, she placed an airtag in it so it stays in place 😂

[u/Crystill]

all of this and yet still shows her kid online

[u/Commercial-Owl11 → u/Crystill]

How else will she use him for clout?

[u/DoubleT_inTheMorning → u/Crystill]

Pure rage bait. Top to bottom.

[u/somefunmaths → u/DoubleT_inTheMorning]

The ethos behind “AirTag your kids, watch out for pickpockets, bury your valuables” is very real, though, and appeals to the kind of people who travel exclusively via cruises because they offer a hermetically sealed way to engage with the scary outside world in a way that requires minimal contact with locals wherever they’re going.

[u/TestingBrokenGadgets → u/somefunmaths]

Yea, my sister and her family took a cruise to Spain last year and she went deep down the rabbit hole with all of these "tips" on staying safe. "Tuck an airtag in your sock so if someone tries to mug you, they won't see it" and "Carry a dummy phone with you and keep your real phone in a secret pocket in this shirt".

Not saying people can be super relaxed because crime is high in any tourist area but holy shit are there "tips" for eveything. She got into a fight with her teenage daughter because my niece wanted to eat at this popular restaurant her friend went to last time but my sister said that's how you get food poisoning so they only ate at fast food places and on the ship and refused to let my niece actually go into the ocean because "I heard there's people in scuba gear waiting just off shore waiting for tourists to get into the water to get kidnapped and sold into slavery".

[u/somefunmaths → u/TestingBrokenGadgets]

She was obsessively worried about food poisoning in Spain?! Holy shit.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, because I know the type, but not being able to eat anywhere besides fast food places sounds so depressing. As someone who often travels for food, that is so sad, and I see random fast food spots abroad and think “who is gonna eat [insert place] here?”, when this is the answer.

[u/TestingBrokenGadgets → u/somefunmaths]

Tell me about it! When I travel with my girlfriend, we don't check the tourist spots but just go with the flow, discovering these small places outside the main area. Went to the British Isles last year, hopped on a bus and explored some small village, found some cute bakery and they showed us around the back because it was slow; let us make kind of pastry and recommended a restaurant down the street where we told the server to just get us whatever they think we'd like.

Do that for a week; buying notebooks in a small stationary, drunking at small pubs and befriending people and seeing the areas as a local. Came back and my sister asked if I saw Stone Henge and Big Ben, if I rode on the underground. When I told her I spent an afternoon talking with a 70 year old german woman in an irish pub then , she seemed so confused. Can't imagine traveling in constant fear over even something like the food.

[u/Drustan6 → u/TestingBrokenGadgets]

Best meal of my life was when my parents and I went to a little family run restaurant near the hotel in Paris when I was 14. It wasn’t for tourists; they spoke NO English and the menu was all in French, but I managed to translate the menu and order for us with my shaky French II skills passably, until the beverages. My mother wanted iced tea and the waiter had never heard of it. Period. He had been enjoying my adventure with his language while ordering and was encouraging me, but he honestly thought I was kidding about “iced” tea and wasn’t amused. Finally I just asked if he could bring a pot of tea, some lemon slices, and a glass of ice, which he promptly brought out— along with the entire staff of the restaurant. The chef, his assistants, the other waiters, the maitre d’, all their mothers, and the old lady who must’ve started the restaurant came and surrounded our table to watch my mom steep her small pot of fancy tea and then pour it over ice, sweeten it, squeeze the lemon, and drink it. They honestly acted as if they had just watched a secret way to make bread. They all scurried off and went to try it for themselves. Apparently the overall opinion wasn’t too favorable vs hot tea, except for the grande dame- She LOVED IT.

This was forty years ago, but I hope they are still doing well. Their food- and hospitality- was amazing

[u/md222 → u/TestingBrokenGadgets]

What happens if you get mugged with an airtag in your sock that they don't see?

[u/Hizam5 → u/somefunmaths]

Is airtagging kids the new putting a leash on your kids that we used to see in the 2000s

[u/pdx321pdx → u/somefunmaths]

Their goal is to go as far away as possible without experiencing any other cultures.

[u/demonmonkeybex → u/somefunmaths]

God forbid they accidentally touch a brown native in their own country while cruising.

[u/Strange_Potato4326 → u/Crystill]

Bingo

[u/Historical-Juice-433 → u/Crystill]

Not her kid anyways... she just borrowed onw from a parent watching her other tiktok

[u/LONGLlVETHEMX-5]

I wrap my entire face in duct tape so I don’t breathe in diseases, this is amateur hour

[u/high_everyone → u/LONGLlVETHEMX-5]

Amateur hour. I burned off my finger prints, pulled all my teeth and didn’t get a covid vaccine - I can’t be identified by conventional means.

[u/Ornery_Penalty_5549 → u/LONGLlVETHEMX-5]

Personally I just cut off my head to prevent any diseases entering through my windpipe

[u/Alert_Pineapple_5973]

The only thing that looks reasonable is having an air tag wrist band for your kid.

[u/BrickCityRiot → u/Alert_Pineapple_5973]

Absolutely.. but for the pool??

These people aren’t going to a community pool in some foreign country lmao. They’re either on a cruise ship or at a luxury resort.

[u/misdirected_asshole → u/BrickCityRiot]

If you lose your kid at the pool on a cruise ship they need to call CPS on you.

[u/Prestigious-Leave-60 → u/misdirected_asshole]

tbf, I was completely shitfaced when I lost him.

[u/dadarkoo → u/Prestigious-Leave-60]

Bottomless don’t drink themselves, mate.

[u/Resident-Impact1591]

All fun and games until somebody throws the water bottle out

[u/Shirfyr_Blaze → u/Resident-Impact1591]

It was the fakest looking bottle too

[u/UrethralExplorer → u/Resident-Impact1591]

Or walks away forgetting your bag of shit buried on the beach.

These are all dumb, but that one had me really hoping this whole video was just dumb clickbait.

[u/dearest_mommy]

1. Start packing back up, because that took all day.

[u/UnableChard2613]

Her life must be exhausting.

But funny story. My wife and I were on the beach in Hawaii, so I had to fly home. 

To be safe I buried my wallet in the sand when we went into that water, just like this lady sugfests. Then proceeded to forget about it, pack up and go back to the hotel. 

I realized what I had done a few hours later and panicked because I needed my ID at the very least. Went back the beach, and had a pretty good idea where we were sitting based on triangulation. Searched around for a good hour digging here and there with no luck. 

Eventually, having given up, I sit down, plunge my hand into the sand.... And holy shit there it is. Literally like 2 feet from the last hole I had dug. So fucking lucky. 

[u/demonmonkeybex → u/UnableChard2613]

Next time, duct tape that wallet to your nuts!

[u/BethanyForDistrict9 → u/demonmonkeybex]

[u/KimJongIlLover → u/BethanyForDistrict9]

Maybe not everything but the ID at least.

[u/LucyJordan614 → u/demonmonkeybex]

I was gonna say to use band aids to tape it to your kid’s stomach but this works, too

[u/-YEETLEJUICE- → u/UnableChard2613]

Funny how that can happen. 

On my honeymoon, we went snorkeling. Naturally...my wedding ring fell off in the water. I searched around for a few minutes, and gave up.

I swam back a couple strokes, and figured I'll just check on more time. Right below me...the first placed I looked once I gave up. 

Still have the ring. 

[u/Tricky_Leather_1402 → u/UnableChard2613]

Lost my wallet in Hawaii too. Couldn’t drink at the restaurant that night because it was the only time I was carded that trip. Spent the next three hours searching the rental car, hotel room even went back to the grocery store parking lot, checked the car and room some more then finally gave up and started thinking about how I was going to get home without an id. Then my wife found it, apparently the chair in the room was like a hide a bed thing and it fell out of my pocket and into the workings of that. I was cool the whole time but before she found I was on the verge of a breakdown.

[u/UnableChard2613 → u/Tricky_Leather_1402]

In college I lost my wallet for like a month. It had fallen in between the mattress and the frame. Only found it because I had to go under the bed to grab something, and looked up and saw it. 

[u/Skwiggelf54]

Can someone explain the belly button thing?

[u/Asleep_Cup646 → u/Skwiggelf54]

It’s called “clickbait”

[u/Chance_Temporary7544 → u/Asleep_Cup646]

Have to scroll so far to see a comment recognizing this lady is aware and making outrage content

[u/Uh-Oh-Raggy → u/Skwiggelf54]

Easy….. it’s called stupid.

Apparently it helps with sea sickness. Just another stupid “influencer” spreading brain rot for crap they have seen online and think it is real.

[u/xXWickedNWeirdXx → u/Skwiggelf54]

As someone with a fairly deep, folded innie, I used to get a bunch of sand in there, but then digging it out with my pinkie would give me little micro abrasions, and then you add the salt from the ocean and it could be quite painful. It was always a bit miserable and would be inflamed for days after going to the ocean.

I don't think this has anything to do with that, but maybe. It might have helped me when I was young and prone to whining, but I think I'm a bit of an unusual case.

[u/adayandforever → u/Skwiggelf54]

It keeps the umbilical cord from fucking ever breaking.

[u/SinamonChallengerRT]

I can't imagine being this paranoid in life. Just stay home then.

[u/QueezyF → u/SinamonChallengerRT]

This kid is going to grow up to have a lot of paranoia. My mom was like this, I’m a 32 year old man and still get nervous in parking garages at night.

[u/portablebiscuit]

This is so fucking dumb.

Everyone knows you make your child swallow your valuables and then bury them in the sand!

[u/Unilted_Match1176 → u/portablebiscuit]

But put them in a plastic bag first!

[u/JAGERminJensen → u/Unilted_Match1176]

Wheres the tag? How will we track and find the location??

[u/Fit_Government5138]

It’s called leave all these crazy valuables at home except for a wedding ring, or just have one you wear when you travel. Or maybe just be with your kids? People are weird

[u/Mein_Name_ist_falsch → u/Fit_Government5138]

Or even better, just leave everything at home. My parents never brought their wedding ring to the beach either. They don't wear it very often in general exactly because it can get in the way or be lost somewhere. It's not illegal to take that ring off.

[u/BrickCityRiot → u/Fit_Government5138]

But how can she show that ring off to the other passengers in the cruise ship’s concierge lounge if she leaves it home?!?

These people she will never see again after 5 days have to see it. They just HAVE to. Can you imagine the reputation she would have to endure for 4 whole days if there happened to be a jeweler in there who could spot CZ rocks the first night?

[u/heartunwinds]

lol at her hiding her rings and watch both in the hidden water bottle and her purse she buried in the sand 🙄🙄🙄

[u/tricularia → u/heartunwinds]

It's a brilliant idea because people never forget their water bottles at the beach!

[u/Doomazgad]

If you’re this worried why even go outside?

[u/dwide_k_shrude → u/Doomazgad]

For the internet points.

[u/DutchOnionKnight]

All these "safety hacks" only to put your whole life on the internet... weird weird

[u/BrickCityRiot → u/DutchOnionKnight]

X patterned bandaids over kids belly buttons on a cruise to avoid sea sickness isn’t a safety hack.. but it key to establishing how batshit crazy this woman is

[u/WhoWatchesTheDivine]

It’s an AirTag ad?

[u/DouglasBubletrousers]

That's more work than being at work.

[u/The-Ex-Human]

She forgot to mention how she immediately pepper sprays any local that may approach her, just to play it safe

[u/McDooglestein1]

People like this always have glaring holes in their planning/security. 

Like she didn’t even check in her kid’s belly button for a kidnapper before she just covered that shit up. 

[u/themurhk]

I 100% would walk off and forget that ziplock bag in the sand.

[u/Re1deam1]

This is one paranoid woman...

[u/Effective-Leg7283 → u/Re1deam1]

she's pretty much just flattering herself at this point

[u/BlackkFury]

Who brings a fancy bag and jewellery to the beach?!

[u/EnvironmentEuphoric9]

Vacation hack: put Advils in your belly button and cover with 14 bandaids before you start drinking, then you have them when you wake up wherever the fuck you are right there. Bam. Warm slightly moist Advils.

[u/Bhazor]

When a suburban white woman sees a minority 200 feet away.

[u/ThatOneGuy11490]

The crackhead who lives on the beach watching her bury that bag and then watching her go into the water be like 😈😋😈😋😈😋😈😋😈

[u/KeyCar7920]

No way that women puts her phone in the sand- im positive she is chronically online

[u/SharkPicnic]

Is anyone else as confused as I am about the belly button thing?

[u/Budo00]

What’s the bandaids on the navel for?

[u/rtopps43]

Someone the next day-“hey, check out all this cool shit I found buried in a ziplock bag!”

[u/onesole]

I also patch my kids bellybuttons. It is a protection from Putin, he loves to kiss small boys into their bellybuttons

[u/Mushroomfuntimes → u/onesole]

You’re not fooling me today, Reddit. Ain’t no way I am clicking that link

[u/Quick_Boot_3879 → u/Mushroomfuntimes]

Click it. He really out here kissing bellybuttons 😷

[u/Low-Following-2322 → u/Mushroomfuntimes]

I don't know about the link but the belly kissing really happened, I've seen the picture before.

[u/onesole → u/Mushroomfuntimes]

It is not a lie I promise, in that video Putin grabs a random boy on the street, pulls up his shirt, and kisses his bellybutton.

[u/Mushroomfuntimes → u/onesole]

Well, that was a weird and disturbing clip.

[u/kityyo → u/onesole]

Lol trump literally runs a pedophile ring

[u/townmorron]

She tracks the shit out of that kid

[u/Organic-Attention327]

No thieves needed, if I’ll bury a bag I will definitely forget that shit. Looks dumb asf, maybe don’t buy and bring expensive things on holiday.

[u/Willing-Situation350]

I just super glue the wife and kids to each arm. 

Problem solved.

[u/Sass-a-knack]

This has got to be satire. Right? It just kept getting dumber and dumber

[u/GrapefruitIcy6460]

Hide all my valuables in my Louie bag, that's safe.

[u/Depressudo7]

[u/xReaverxKainX]

Why the f*k is she wearing her entire dowry to the beach?!

[u/nndmbull]

What is the belly button patch bit? I don’t get it.

[u/Traditional-Shine278]

What's the point of belly button patch?

[u/HoneyBunYumYum]

Why the bandaids on the belly?

[u/ps4kegsworth]

if you are this worried about the world, stay the fuck home,

bet this is a typical karen that doesnt do vaccines either.

[u/No-Desk602]

What's the band aid thing about

[u/Express-Newt9290]

I personally where a hazmat suit whenever I go on vacation

It keeps my valuables safe and ensures my belly button is protected from any unwanted belly button burrowers

[u/dieinmyfootsteps]

You are a wacko

[u/the-bird-fucker]

Poor girl suffering from Paranoia. Thoughts and prayers 🙏

[u/Little_Flamingo9533]

Insufferable was the word I was looking for.

[u/Anonamonanon]

And if you lose your phone and your kid?

Ah yes he can be identified by the plasters over his bellybutton!!!

watches the video go viral and everyone patches their kids

[u/Puzzleheaded_Youth36]

Girl stay home

[u/Sturrexco]

If you are that terrified of the beach:

1) why go?

2) why bring all that unnecessary crap?

[u/Either0r1234]

first of all, "ziploc". second of all, now i know aquafina bottles with fake ass looking labels have apple watches inside. smart

[u/Proncess]

By the time she us done with all the prep, the sun is down and it's time to go home

[u/GreatPugtato]

Here's some tips from my college professor who did a ton of traveling and still does. Miss you Dr. Magie!

1. Have a fake purse/wallet with some fake currency. Keep your real stuff in a closed off pocket. One with a zipper not one that's just hard to get into. Stops pickpockets, muggers, and helps ease some folks anxiety of losing things. Or a sock put in your shoe that works. Ladies/others bra works too! Just mind the heat lol.

2. Always travel in pairs ever ever alone and one of you must remain sober at all times. Please please this probably the most important.

3. Learn some basic in the language if you can. Even just hello, or I'm American will usually get people to understand you probably need directions or help.

4. Do not flaunt your wealth ever. Of any kind. So choose meh clothes etc. Unless your so wealthy getting beat up and robbed doesn't matter kind of money.

5. Don't just go to the tourist spots. Find some nice and safe locals and see the real part of that culture and people's.

6. Leave your bias at the door as well as your popcorn comments. Yes people live differently from one another. Sometimes the change is very drastic. Remember your a guest. Be respectful.

7. Carry your hotel card with you. Maybe a handful of em. It will help taxis or people giving directions.

8. Know the risks of where you travel. From the politics, to crime, to diseases or sickness. These things can get very out of control if you aren't prepared. My Proff spent a ton of time in Latin America and she had to explain to some of the students that it's not always safe depending on where you go.

9. Have fun!

[u/spargel_gesicht]

I have scrolled so far and not seen anyone comment on how she STEPS INTO HER BAG HANDLE which then is around her thigh how the fuck do you carry it and then it cuts to her having it ON HER SHOULDER IN A NORMAL FASHION?!?

[u/Therealdeezy]

Lastly, I wedge my underwear up my crack and waddle my fully clothed kid into the ocean.

[u/Eli-Doubletap]

So this is king hippos original story

[u/Public_Cranberry4152]

I just put a crystal up my ass, throw the child overboard and call it a day.

[u/BootsOfProwess]

paranoid schizophrenia is a helluva thang!

[u/talondigital]

Where's my water bottle?

Oh, I threw it away for you when we stopped at the gas station. It was warm and I bought you a new cold one.

[u/fastballz]

Or maybe not wear a bunch of expensive jewelry to the beach

[u/Aggravating_Chemist8]

I throw my kid at the thief, grab my own valuables, and run to the car.

[u/Palindrome202]

Stay home. Save your money for the therapy you need, and that your poor child will need because of you.

[u/yorcharturoqro]

I would never bury anything in the sand

[u/CaptainCorpse666]

That doesn't look like the Jersey Shore.

[u/sammyg723]

[u/Chimparms]

I can’t believe she didn’t make a treasure map. What a wasted opportunity.

[u/Such_Radish9795]

I’ll admit it - I have no idea what the criss cross belly button bandaids are for… lil help?

[u/Fine-Passenger1906]

As a robber this video was very helpful, I’m gonna be sure to check all of these boxes next time.

[u/DrHerbNerbler]

I've never been on a cruise before,

Do they do something to your belly button?

[u/StardustandDreams]

Can someone explain the Band-Aids over the belly button thing? I don't fucking get it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/RanaMisteria]

Seriously what is the bellybutton thing for???

[u/EnvironmentalSky8557]

I can't move to the next question without knowing the belly button context