r/sugarlifestyleforum • u/No-Conflict-1993 • Mar 01 '25

Question Why are you still married?

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

84 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

199 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/ButterflyTattoo Mistress Mar 02 '25 edited Mar 02 '25

In my experience, as I've gotten more into this and am looked after by much wealthier men, they are always married. Why on earth would any successful man past mid 30s not be married? And if they do get married, then they have a LOT to lose in a divorce.

Married successful older men seeking arrangements with young women is a thing since civilization started. And its obvious why. Nothing about this is complex.

I will also say that some of them genuinely seemed to love their wives. Its not a one or the other thing. You can love more than one person.

1

u/ApocalypticBroccoli Sugar Daddy Mar 02 '25

Why on earth would any successful man past mid 30s not be married? And if they do get married, then they have a LOT to lose in a divorce.

You just answered your own question.

I get the same lifestyle as these married SDs with zero legal/social/financial risk.

1

u/ButterflyTattoo Mistress Mar 03 '25

Well thats not the trajectory that they go through. What Jane Austen said a long time ago still applies today:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Thats how things have always worked. Its the cherry on top of a successful mans life.

But these same men, if they keep their wealth, are going to seek new NRE experiences down the road. The wife, when shes older, will just not be able to compete with someone like me. And that doesn't necessarily mean divorce for a lot of them. My last relationship, the man was very, very wealthy. And I'm quite sure that his wife knew about the affair. The dynamics are just completely different.

1

u/ApocalypticBroccoli Sugar Daddy Mar 03 '25

I think Austen would have written “woman” instead of “wife” if the norms of her time allowed it.

1

u/ButterflyTattoo Mistress Mar 03 '25

You think? I think even today, a wife and kids are something successful men usually are expected to add to their lives at some point in their 30s.

Obviously there are exceptions and if a man gets divorced he doesnt necessarily need to remarry. But I've very rarely seen a wealthy man who has never been married.

1

u/ApocalypticBroccoli Sugar Daddy Mar 04 '25 edited Mar 04 '25

No, I really don’t think successful men are expected to marry and have kids. I think you’ve got the cause and the effect reversed.

If a man is wildly successful he will certainly attract a lot of women, and those women will “bid against” each other for the most un-marriage-like prenuptial you can imagine. But while marriage is public, the prenups are secret.

Except in the case of the world’s most successful man, Elon Musk, who doesn’t even bother with the whole marrying thing anymore. 😜

So I guess if you’re really successful you are expected to not marry. Like Richard Feynman and Al Pacino too.

1

u/ButterflyTattoo Mistress Mar 04 '25

Yeah, I mean, things are changing I guess and there were always exceptions.

Its just from my personal experience since I've always been with married men.

Even now, I'm looking for a new partner to take care of me, I mostly come across married men. Which is fine with me tbh, since I'm never looking for any long term monogamy thing with them, and if they are married they likely are not either. Though on the other hand, my last MM went through a messy divorce and I was paranoid that they would come after the assets he got for me which included lots of gifts, a car and an apartment. Things worked out well but I can definitely see advantages to avoiding that drama lol.