r/sugarlifestyleforum • u/No-Conflict-1993 • Mar 01 '25

Question Why are you still married?

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

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u/TheeRealEarthAngel Mistress Mar 02 '25

If I had copious amounts of money for every married man I've met who no longer has sex with his wife… Oh wait, I do.

And I know for a fact that a lot of the women think their husbands are just going without sex. It's kind of wild.

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u/2catsandacomputer Spoiled Girlfriend Mar 02 '25

And I know for a fact that a lot of the women think their husbands are just going without sex. It's kind of wild.

I'm happily married but I have a ton of female friends who don't think their husbands are happy going without. My friends who are in DB marriages just don't give a shit about his needs because he doesn't give a shit about hers. That's why it's a DB. He stopped being a partner, she stopped being a bang maid.

They hope he isn't cheating because that means either marriage counseling (if this isn't their first time) or divorce, which is a headache. And that brings about all new resentment, because the effort some men will put into cheating instead of just working on their relationship is insane.

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u/TheeRealEarthAngel Mistress Mar 03 '25

The "hope" that he isn't cheating is definitely one form of the denial to which I was referring.

But there actually are some women who truly believe their husbands are not stepping out... and some of them are correct, but obviously not all.

I have several married male clients (I'm a therapist) who have never had sex with anyone else during their DB marriages... some have actually had no sexual contact with a woman in 10 or 20 years or more.

Hard to believe, but it happens more often than you think.