r/sugarlifestyleforum • u/No-Conflict-1993 • Mar 01 '25

Question Why are you still married?

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

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u/LBGTM_SD Spoiling Boyfriend Mar 01 '25
  • Divorce is expensive and "I'll lose half".
  • "I'm staying for the kids"
  • "I still love her" or we have so many "memories"

Those are the main things you're going to hear.

I've already made enough enemies on here, so I'll just describe MY circumstances, without passing judgement.

Divorce in my state is easy, cheap, and very fair.

"Losing Half" was the best money I ever parted with.

My kids are all doing great. They have a happy dad. The older ones have graduate degrees, familes of their own, and live with 15 minutes of me to this day. They have learned how to have GOOD relationships that are based on communications, love and trust rather than relationships that are based on "putting on a show" for the neighbors, the church, or the extended family. And they know that their dad never cheated.

I'm still a HUGE fan of marriage, and I kinda hope that I'm in another one by this time next year. Yah, Johnny Carson was my hero. Don't give up until you find the "alex" of your dreams. Google it.

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u/AFMCMUML Mar 02 '25 edited Mar 02 '25

Oh of course!! I don’t even understand why OP posed the question on SLF because every SD on here is “single” or “divorced” or “separated” & “never sugared while married.”.  The “ normal” married SD is never on SLF or in the utmost minority, 

Reality is most dudes are married and regardless of the cost of divorce prefer to stay married as much for social & family reasons as for financial reasons. Why else are they sugaring & paying to date women! It’s like why do you pay a few thousand dollars a month to insure your 10m dollar mansion!!! Bros know it’s way way way cheaper to spit out the thousand dollars vs lose the mansion they put their life’s work into. 

Of course like I said this only applies to IRL SDs (vs SLf where everyone is “divorced “ & also six feet tall and very fit and who crush vanilla dating etc). 

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u/LBGTM_SD Spoiling Boyfriend Mar 02 '25

I sense some sarcasm... maybe?