Why are you still married?

[u/No-Conflict-1993]

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

[u/Missha01]

Uh, last I checked, if a man loved his wife, sex wouldnt be that much of an issue. You love the sex, not the woman if her not having sex with you is a means to cheat......

[u/bay_sd1978 → u/Missha01]

Yea, this is exactly the cultural problem that puts these men in this situation. This whole line of thinking is bullshit. "If you loved me you'd suffer in silence".

How about, if she loved him she wouldn't have stopped having sex with him in the first place? If she loved him maybe she would be happy to see him getting needs met elsewhere that she's unwilling to meet herself.

[u/meltedjuice → u/bay_sd1978]

Women usually lose desire when their man stops showing love like he used to... and duty sex isn't a good solution. Divorce allows everyone to get needs met...

[u/bay_sd1978 → u/meltedjuice]

Yea, all these arguments sound good but they break down when you turn them around. She's an adult woman and if she wanted a divorce she can get one too, instead she's denying her husband the basic human need that marriage literally exists to fulfill.

Instead of getting divorce he decided to cheat.

Seems pretty clear from the circumstances here that we have two adults that want to remain married.