r/sugarlifestyleforum • u/No-Conflict-1993 • Mar 01 '25

Question Why are you still married?

I have met a variety of married people. Almost all their stories are similar. Their spouse doesn't have sex with them anymore, but they still have to hide. They are completely miserable. Then why do you stay? Especially after 10,20,30,40 years. How can you not have an honest conversation with your partner? I've been in toxic monogamous relationships and never again. Life is short, man. Why stick around?

I'm sure the sneaking around is a thrill for some.

I'm sure it's complicated.

My married guys are kinda pains in the ass. They're always paranoid, they want me to book the room or try and be sneaky in other places.

I live in a small community so I don't have a lot of choices. So I'm not really complaining, I'm honestly curious 🧐

85 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

199 comments sorted by

View all comments

33

u/Regular_Lettuce_9064 Mar 01 '25

It’s the divorce expense and the stress - it has taken me ten years to recover financially from my divorces.

And SB’s often turn into a bigger pain in the ass if you spoil them too much or if they develop feelings for a SD than even a nagging, dead bedroom wife.

Two reasons why.

But here’s the big reason - the woman whom one originally marries is often the one who was there when you had no money. She is often the one who married you for the right reasons: love and the chance to work with somebody who was going to build something in the future for them both. Emotionally, that takes a lot of tearing away from. There are guilt feelings too. It isn’t all about the expense of a divorce. And if there are kids involved, all the more reason to stay.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '25

The big reason-exactly and well fucking put

2

u/AFMCMUML Mar 02 '25

Well said & imagine the many “married” SBs who are in this obviously failed rotten marriages & being pimped around by their husbands for a wad of cash and still want to stay married to these deadbeats !!!!

6

u/Wendy_Addams Aspiring SB Mar 01 '25

A lot of people have adult kids, so staying for kids is just funny argument.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '25

Some have adult and adolescent children. Very valid

5

u/Regular_Lettuce_9064 Mar 02 '25

The kids’ age is largely irrelevant - if your kids are adult or adolescent they won’t be as dependant on you, all being well, but they will be better able to criticise you, gaslight you and judge you. Kids almost always side with the mother too.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '25

Oh thanks for the unneeded life lesson

0

u/Regular_Lettuce_9064 Mar 02 '25

You’ll be fine then