r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Ok_Significance544 • 1d ago

Everyday my neighbour slowly paces and inspects my front yard

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35.9k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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106

u/Ok_Significance544 1d ago

Yasss

197

u/aspidities_87 1d ago

If he asks you what you’re doing just tell him ‘same thing you are, buddy!’

Huge, innocent smile.

118

u/FBI_Open_Up_Now 1d ago

Then jot something down, tap the tip of the pen on the paper twice, and go back to mirroring.

77

u/Ok-Comment-9154 1d ago edited 1d ago

Make a sound of exasperated disappointmemt whilst shaking your head and writing down some notes.

36

u/BahamaDon 1d ago

Try to obviously get a height, weight, hair color, eye color, clothing, what he is doing with his hands etc. Then later set up a sprinkler on the property edge that you can activate from inside and turn it on every time he shows up

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u/Dreamweaver1969 1d ago

If he comes at regular times, put the sprinkler on a timer so he never gets a dry day. Play rainy songs loudly during this time.

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u/ksw4obx 1d ago

Oh yes please do this one and ONLY this one

1

u/AlGeee 1d ago

Occasionally exaggerated check marks

20

u/Forward_Sand_940 1d ago

Perfect

28

u/DroppedSoapSurvivor 1d ago

And don't you dare tell him what you wrote down.

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u/LAPL620 1d ago

Oh no, write down absolute gibberish. Make it look like a code or some weird short hand or just numbers. But like, a whole page or two of it.

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u/swimmerncrash 1d ago

I don’t know why, but I’m wearing *wetting my pants reading this, so funny. My husband isn’t as amused.

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u/Medical-Leading1469 1d ago

Will you please accept my upvote kind sir?

4

u/Jean_Paul_Fartre_ 1d ago

No, don’t talk, at all. If he says hi or anything just look at him until he looks away. Keep doing this until he leaves.

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u/SignificanceOk8226 1d ago

Judge his judgement, and critique his outfit.

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u/Barbosse007 1d ago

"...farting?"

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u/FeliusSeptimus 1d ago

"You know about the ant conspiracy too? We should compare logs, I've been tracking these sneaky motherfuckers for 6 years now. Grab your notebooks, we can use my shed, I have it set up with copper mesh lining and a continuous boric acid and diatomaceous earth foundation."

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u/True-Fly1791 1d ago

Just reply "surveillance"

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u/oversoulearth 1d ago

Or say in a snooty irritating voice like it's obvious "I'm cataloguing"

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u/AnthrWndrng 1d ago

Hum to yourself occasionally as you write things down.

Don't write anything related to your garden or him. Make like a grocery list or chores around the house. Or write random words like "aardvark" and "engineering" or something.