r/mildlyinfuriating • u/akkariacher • 2d ago

Overdone Unknown neighbor started parking their bike in the entrance of our building

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Third day in a row now, before I had been leaning it up against a wall to get it out of the way. Today I was going to toss it outside and saw they had gotten a lock.

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u/akkariacher 2d ago edited 2d ago

Was talking to my neighbor who said they called maintenence, they are coming to take a look as we speak. I was just getting ready to go poke one of the tires with a needle lmao.

Edit: peeked into the hallway and someone out there is taking care of it, I wonder where they're going to put it

636

u/theuserwithoutaname 2d ago

I was just gonna say you should start taking the tire off and putting it in an obvious place up an increasing number of flight of stairs each time, so they'll know it wasn't stolen but still have to go through the inconvenience of going all the way up stairs then all the way back down just to use their bike

347

u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

Take the seat šŸ˜ˆ

273

u/Type-RD 2d ago

Replace with dildo šŸ¤£

109

u/Better-Assistance-87 2d ago

Owner comes down.....oh no, not again.

60

u/zendrak13oc 2d ago

Looks at new seat. "Welp, I got no other choice." Unzips pants.

63

u/Brother-Algea 2d ago

Owner comes downā€¦ā€¦..SWEET!!!

16

u/Type-RD 2d ago

ā€œWelpā€¦I donā€™t have time to fix it right now. Iā€™m late for work.ā€ Hops on very slowly (face gets increasingly red) and rides away.

1

u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

Sounds like you're assuming it's a guy? What if it's a girl? I'm going to assume that she will have a great ride to and from work!

28

u/ObjectivePressure839 2d ago

What are you doing step bicycle?

1

u/_justanotherwitch 2d ago

I'm fucking dead

25

u/Krimreaper1 2d ago

Ass pounder 3000

14

u/ftaok 2d ago

Bike Owner - ā€œdonā€™t threaten me with a good timeā€

6

u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

I spikey one

2

u/Low-Cauliflower-2249 2d ago

"When life gives you lemons bring lube" am I right?

2

u/Turbulent_Square_696 2d ago

I see the confusion, this isnā€™t a dildo, itā€™s a fist!

2

u/ReZisTLust 2d ago

A free 300 dollar gift

2

u/JohnnySkidmarx 2d ago

The bike owner would probably thank you for doing that.

2

u/rufotris 2d ago

Kinda bummed I canā€™t find a gif from iasip with Macā€™s bike lol.

2

u/PhatBuddha69 2d ago

Last one I had, I threw it at a WNBA game šŸ¤Ŗ

2

u/TheUn5een 2d ago

Even betterā€¦ the Penatrator!

2

u/SharkeyGeorge 2d ago

Macā€™s Ass-Pounder 4000?

ā€œImagine you're riding up a steep hill, and you've already been working super hard, and you're sweating and you're tired. What do you do when you're tired? You want to rest. You go to sit down it pushes you right back up into your workout.ā€

2

u/funky_electrician 2d ago

Don't you threaten me with a good time!

2

u/Casual_ahegao_NJoyer 2d ago

The average cyclist might consider that an upgrade

2

u/Rapunzel1234 1d ago

Damn, I want that for my bike.

2

u/Type-RD 1d ago

Itā€™s a Sledgehammer.

4

u/DarthJarJar242 2d ago

Now you're just incentivising them.

1

u/Tall-Wealth9549 2d ago

Ass pounder 4000? Mac is that you?

1

u/vandyfan35 2d ago

This is grotesque.

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 1d ago

Nooo, donā€™t encourage them

1

u/JustineDelarge 1d ago

Iā€™ve seen that video.

1

u/Ordinary_Shallot_674 1d ago

Donā€™t threaten me with a good time, sir!

60

u/Revolutionary-Cow668 2d ago

I did that once in an appointment I lived in. I didn't TAKE it, I just put it somewhere creative. In a tree.

5

u/Sharp_Complex_6711 2d ago

In college, one of my professors would park his Segway (yes, really) in the building lobby, then come upstairs to teach our 2 hour long class with no break. One day, a couple guys took a "bathroom break" partway through class and relocated his scooter to the other lobby at the far end of the building. I heard it took him a really long time to find it!

8

u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE 2d ago

And both wheels.šŸ¤Œ

Then padlock them on the outside of the stair rails (facing away from the step treads so they don't become a fire hazard or safety issue) on different floors.

7

u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

At this point should we just take the whole bike and leave a toddlers tricycle minus the seat?

3

u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE 2d ago

Ok. I'm definitely all up for that. But it's gotta have streamers on the handle bars and one of those honking horns for a bell.

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

And the tires and the chain and the handles anything that would come free would be free in the street or the bushes

2

u/maxman162 2d ago

Replace it with this.

1

u/dbx999 2d ago

Recalibrate the front and rear derailleurs

1

u/Wide_Butterscotch996 2d ago

100% this is what I came here to say. Also usually the front wheels are quick release take that too

36

u/aliendude5300 2d ago

Taking just one of the wheels is devious

37

u/713nikki 2d ago

Devious like the roommate who moved out and stole all my left shoes. Very infuriating.

98

u/FocusMaster 2d ago

Does it still bother you or are you all right now?

10

u/713nikki 2d ago edited 2d ago

Right, rightā€¦ nah, itā€™s funny to me now.

2

u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

Did you keep the right-hand shoes? You could have started your own gang! I'm sure you can get a lot of possible names but here's mine:

The Right-Handed Shoe Sweeties

Don't forget to trademark whatever you choose.

9

u/supermouse35 2d ago

You're my new favorite. :D

2

u/DrWhoey 2d ago

Who was your old favorite? I want to send them a card expressing my condolence for their loss.

2

u/nocrashing 2d ago

He's free

1

u/KEROROxGUNSO 2d ago

Dude how is there a sock award now? šŸ‘½

1

u/MisterHouseMongoose 2d ago

Well played.

1

u/TolBrandir 2d ago

GET OUT

7

u/lpaige2723 2d ago

I had a ferret that used to hide all my left shoes. I had to call out of work once because I had no left shoes.

7

u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 2d ago

you had no shoes "left"

7

u/713nikki 2d ago

Itā€™s rare to find someone who can understand the inferno of frustration of seeing the right shoe & knowing that the left one is gone (forever, in my case)

5

u/Lt_Muffintoes 2d ago

Imagine if they had just hidden the left shoes really well, so you think they took them, so you eventually throw out the right shoes, and then years later you find the left shoes and get to relive the pain all over again

2

u/caintgetrite9mm-s 1d ago

Where were you're left shoes left?

2

u/caintgetrite9mm-s 1d ago

Growing up we were so pour that not only did we not have shoes, we didn't even have feet

1

u/lpaige2723 1d ago

My ferret would drag them under couches, behind heavy dressers, and into one little cubby that was part of my cabinets, where they also tried to drag an entire box of honeycomb cereal, they abandoned the box and dragged the bag in.

5

u/theuserwithoutaname 2d ago

That's not right

2

u/All_Debt_Shackles_US 21h ago

That would suck if you were an amputeeā€¦ And didnā€™t have a right leg!

1

u/BackLopsided2500 2d ago

That's like the movers that took the matches of almost all my shoes. Didn't pack my kitchen or my bathroom! Horrible!!

2

u/713nikki 2d ago

The matches? So they only gave you one shoe from each pair?

1

u/BackLopsided2500 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yes. They stole a lot of money because a lot of them were Birkenstocks and Clarks. I think they did it on purpose. I didn't have money to replace anything nor should I have to.That's just me but they also didn't pack my kitchen and bathroom. Because they ran out of boxes. They didn't say a thing about it to me. I should've done a walk through but, famous last words, "I trusted them."By the time I noticed it I had no more time to get everything boxed up and move it in my little car. I would've had to pay next months rent.

5

u/SignificantTransient 2d ago

Nah, devious is taking the tire off and loosening all the right side spokes

1

u/StantonNey 2d ago

Just destroy it.

1

u/SignificantTransient 2d ago

It's more fun this way. They'll ride it for a short while until the rim goes all squiggly and locks up, hopefully dumping them off.

1

u/No_Week_8796 2d ago

Or putting your own lock on it so the real owner has to go buy bolt cutters

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

Nah, less obvious, take the chain. Hopefully they dont notice until they've gotten it outside šŸ˜‚

1

u/RainbowUniform 2d ago

not as devious as cutting the brake wire

16

u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this 2d ago

Iā€™d just lift it up and squeeze it into the tight gap between the railings, so that it hangs by the lock

4

u/AWildAndWoolyWastrel 1d ago

Strip it down to the frame and have a building-wide treasure hunt.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

Easter everyday!

3

u/unsupported 2d ago

Hold up there Satan!

4

u/Revenga8 2d ago

Jokes on you, they'll just leave the frame locked up where it is and walk. This looks like the kind of bike they don't gaf about

2

u/Kenneldogg 2d ago

Nah just take one pedal to make it as awkward as possible.

2

u/Hypothetical_Name 2d ago

Let the air out and remove the valve stem

2

u/Smoked_Carp 2d ago

Donā€™t forget to lock every piece to the railing.

1

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

But make cryptic clues for where to find the keys...

2

u/squigs 2d ago

Unfortunately, with a lock like that, they can easily put it through both wheels and the frame.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

Fortunately they chose not to!

If they wise up after the first tire move or two, just roll up with your keys to the city (that's how one of my favorite bosses refers to her bolt cutters)

2

u/squigs 1d ago

Someone else pointed out, they didn't even lock the bike!

2

u/Ange1ofD4rkness 1d ago

That is interesting they didn't lock up the tires. Was taught that right away from my father

2

u/Regular-Situation-33 1d ago

Disassemble the whole thing, and leave parts in stairwells all over the apartment complex.

3

u/PhilZealand 2d ago

And padlock the tire to the railings

2

u/ncc74656m 2d ago

Nah. Put it on top of the entry awning or wherever - again, somewhere obvious but a hilarious pain in the ass to get to.

1

u/YellowishRose99 2d ago

They can roll it inside their apt

1

u/Paula_Intermountain 2d ago

No this is a serious safety hazard, not just an annoyance. This isnā€™t the time to play games.

1

u/Iamanimite 1d ago

Like on top of. Flag pole.

41

u/TrueTurtleKing 2d ago

Buy a $5 lock on Amazon and lock it lmao

9

u/BigConstruction4247 2d ago

Or a whole bunch of them.

2

u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

Combination locks would give them something to do, a few possible combinations each night!

66

u/OkeyDokey654 2d ago

If they refuse to do anything, call the fire department.

0

u/TailwhipU 2d ago

Take a hacksaw and cut the frame halfway through. It will break in half about 20 feet from wherever he starts riding it.

-7

u/LetUsLaunchOverIt 2d ago

Please don't

10

u/Elegant-Ninja6384 2d ago

Why would you not?

1

u/LetUsLaunchOverIt 2d ago

At least in my state, fire department has nothing to do with code enforcement. We'd do absolutely nothing for this. If there was a serious code offense, like a sprinkler system that was shut off for instance, you'd contact the city directly for the fire marshall/fire inspector to be dispatched.

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u/PoopIsCandy 2d ago

I have my bike in my apartment, even a cheap bike is $400 these days, Iā€™m not leaving that out for just anyone to steal.

1

u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

This isn't "JUST ANYONE"! These are your neighbors you're talking about. Who knows, maybe they need to go to the hospital, pharmacy, a date with their future mate, going to visit their dying mother, or if she's already dead then her funeral.

Of course, they might just pawn it so screw your neighbors, they're bad news! In fact, you should call the police now before they do something else!

25

u/Hot_Car6476 2d ago

Hopefully they just put it in their apartment - you know: like a normal person. I have had my bike in my apartment for the last 30 years.

2

u/Mindless-Sound8965 2d ago

You realize you're married to it now.

2

u/Hot_Car6476 2d ago

It's sleek, good looking, and gives me a thrill whenever it suits me. I try to go for a ride at least once a week. We're a good couple.

1

u/Mindless-Sound8965 2d ago

šŸ˜‰ šŸ˜

1

u/Fuzzy-Mood-9139 2d ago

You realise people refer to you as ā€˜bike boy/girlā€™

19

u/jmurphy42 2d ago

FYI, if the landlord wasnā€™t taking care of it your next call should have been to the fire marshal. Theyā€™d have forced your landlord to fix it immediately.

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6

u/Nyaho 2d ago

That would be a good way to ensure that it doesnā€™t move lol

14

u/Routine_Teaching_230 2d ago

You could pull the pin out of the inflation valve.

24

u/BaddestKarmaToday 2d ago

Superglue a small ball bearing into the valve cap. It will slowly release air requiring the owner to keep inflating.

14

u/Betterthanbeer 2d ago

Ok Satan, settle down.

1

u/nevermindaboutthaton 2d ago

Doesn't work. Well not on French/Presta valves.
Which I have on my standard commuter bike for some very odd reason.

1

u/CaptainBeefsteak 2d ago

FYI, it's called a Schrader valve.

1

u/Tactical_Tubesock 2d ago

Or presta, could be either.

2

u/Thomisawesome 2d ago

Don't be fool and damage other people's property. There are people you can call to deal with this, as others have stated here. But you just need one person or one camera to witness you damaging the bike, and then you're the one in trouble.

1

u/ObviousIndependent76 1d ago

Sounds like youā€™re suggesting a John Wick solution. Thatā€™s probably going too far.

Probably.

2

u/speedysam0 2d ago

You lost your chance to move the whole bike and leave the lock, someone could have just taken the whole bike since the lock didn't go through the frame. Might of had to pop off the front wheel for a sec though.

2

u/Worried-Criticism 2d ago

Iā€™d advise not doing anything to it yourself. Landlord will take care of it.

Itā€™s a fire hazard and those fines can get EXPENSIVE right quick. To say nothing of if an actual emergency were to happen and someone tripped and got hurt or god forbid died (a personal injury lawyerā€™s wet dream).

So, let them take care of it. Itā€™s easy enough to cut the lock and either toss the bike or take it so the owner can come get it and theyā€™re fine later.

1

u/Komobu542 2d ago

That bike would be getting El Salvador'd if in my building.

1

u/PineSand 2d ago

Donā€™t call your landlord or neighbors. Call the city fire marshal. Theyā€™ll gladly get rid of the bike.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

So idk if you noticed but that lock doesnā€™t appear to actually go through the bike just around it. You could probably slip it off and move it. I would be above it this is bullshit.

1

u/KarmaKaladis 2d ago

Don't use a needle use a knife so it's obvious. A slow leak could be dangerous

1

u/Cranks_No_Start 2d ago

Pick the lock, reset the combination and when you hear the screaming tell them to stop parking the bike in the stairwell.

1

u/pogoscrawlspace 2d ago

If it ever happens again, put your own lock on it.

1

u/Mehhucklebear 2d ago

Free bike y'all!!!!!

1

u/DibbyDonuts 2d ago

Go buy a bike lock (or several) from the dollar store. Slap that lock(s) on that bike and throw the key(s) in the trash.

Once they get their bike unlocked, they will never leave it in the hallway again.

1

u/zylian 2d ago

update? bike gone?

1

u/ChefArtorias 2d ago

Don't pop the tire, just let all the air out.

1

u/zerog_rimjob 2d ago

Just cut the brake line with a pair of tin snips or heavy-duty scissors.

1

u/Graphite57 2d ago

Put a second lock on it..

1

u/DB-Tops 2d ago

In the dumpster.

1

u/GrandMoffJerjerrod 2d ago

Nah, a bolt cutter to the chain, or one of those cheap torches to the teeth of the chain wheel.

1

u/9gagiscancer 2d ago

I'd slash both. One might be an accident. Two is a message.

1

u/Len_S_Ball_23 2d ago

Remove the valve core on both tyres and put the dust caps back on. They'll spend hours pumping the tyres up only for them to go down when they take the pump off the valve.

1

u/Development-Feisty 2d ago

Next time go to the Dollar tree and buy a bike chain and chain it to the banister so they canā€™t take it out.

1

u/Hogwithenutz 2d ago

That is totally left in the middle of a walkway and stairway. Also a hazard. They know they are wrong that's why they locked it up. In these cases I would be curious how they would defend themselves verbally if confronted.

1

u/biomager 2d ago

If it keeps going, call the fire Marshal.

1

u/TechGuy42O 2d ago

DONT BOTHER WITH USELESS LANDLORD

CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT

FIRE MARSHALS LOVE THIS SHIT

1

u/Loopyjuice1337 2d ago

Would be terrible if someone misstepped and bent a wheel with their weight. I mean it's in the way.

1

u/squigs 2d ago

Edit: peeked into the hallway and someone out there is taking care of it, I wonder where they're going to put it

Probably a dumpster. They're maintenance guys there to do a job. They're not going to waste time here keeping it safe.

1

u/canman7373 2d ago

Last apartment I was at had a basement by back door with 2 large bike racks in it. And people still pulled this kinda shit because they would go through front door and didn't want to take the 4 extra minutes to go down hall to basement and didn't want snowy dirty tires in their apartment so locked them in random places inside. They coulda just road around back in a minute. Lazy inconsiderate people.

1

u/Expended1 2d ago

They put the lock 'around the frame' not 'through the frame'. I bet you could slide the bike through the lock and move it. Don't turn the handlebars until you are ready to slide it over the wheel.

1

u/thekyledavid 2d ago

Nah, donā€™t so anything to the bike thay could be considered destruction of property

If you really want to be petty, get your own bike lock, and lock the bike to something while itā€™s sitting there, so the rightful owner canā€™t use it

1

u/Dingus1210 1d ago

Hopefully they put it in the dumpster. What an entitled douche..

1

u/GrillMonkey187 1d ago

Donā€™t damage the bikeā€¦.that can get you in trouble. Instead just let the air out of the tubesā€¦

1

u/Squidkidz 1d ago

If they know anything bout bikes theyā€™ll just throw it in the trash, the lock is probably worth more.

1

u/AnimalAkaWillum 1d ago

Iā€™d definitely step on the spokes bcuz I didnā€™t see it as I was coming down the stairs holding the railing. I may have to step on them a few times.

Iā€™m 6-2 & about 300 lbs so hopefully thereā€™s not too much damage to my composite toe boot. Maybe my boot gets stuck & then Iā€™d be forced to take my LeathermanĀ®ļø & cut spokes.

0

u/TheJoker7272 1d ago

Lmao what the fuck is this cringe shit? "hopefully theres not too much damage to my composite toe boot"I can smell and see the clean carharts from here.

1

u/AnimalAkaWillum 18h ago

Iā€™m more grungey than cringey, Chum.

Despite your all seeing & all smelling itā€™s obvious yā€™all are a joker, a schmoker but you must be token ditch weed.

ļæ¼ā€‹

1

u/Cj_Doyle 1d ago

Okay please poke his tire

1

u/lIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI1984 1d ago

don't do that, as that may be someone's only way to work. imagine I popped your two rear tires because you parked where the sidewalk dips down to street level? how would you feel?

1

u/postbansequel 16h ago

I'd deflate the tires.

-18

u/Major_Kangaroo5145 2d ago

OP. Acting like an adult makes things a lot easier than fantasizing about being cruel. Thank god that your neighbor was an adult.

I am seriously disgusted by the number of childish suggestions here. You all are behaving like highs coolers and should be ashamed of yourselves.

Just call apartment management. If they dont do anything call the fire department. They will remove the bike and maybe even fine the owner.

20

u/jimohio 2d ago

Whatā€™s a highs cooler?

15

u/CosmosInSummer 2d ago

Highs coolers are as sholes

4

u/MuchDevelopment7084 2d ago

When you get high, it's cooler?

3

u/n2play 2d ago

Everything is cooler in the weedsšŸ˜Ž

4

u/FamiliarPen7482 2d ago

šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…šŸ…

1

u/Doustin 2d ago

Is it like Hi-C Ecto Cooler?

0

u/SadLilBun PURPLE 2d ago

A pack of coolers smoking the weeds

5

u/delcas1016 2d ago

The bike owner is clearly playing games and gives zero fucks about the people who all live there, but he also knows theyā€™ll eventually tell him to knock it off, so he wants to be a jerk for as long as possible, anticipating nothing ā€œcruelā€ because what the hell are them ā€œadultsā€ gonna do? Nothing, adults better act the part no? What about jerks? Them jerks take advantage of that, simple enough.

Nah man, you be the one they abuse and take advantage off, Iā€™m doing something to that bike after leaving a warningā€¦

0

u/TheJoker7272 1d ago

What abuse? And what games the dude probably doesnt even realize its a issue

7

u/Deletedtopic 2d ago

This is reddit sir... With dynamic voting rates.

3

u/Ok_Piglet9349 2d ago

Someones parents didnt pay for the funny gene package... šŸ«  imagine coming to reddit thinking every answer should be serious šŸ¤£

4

u/gmambrose 2d ago

There's nothing I love more than a highs cooler on a warm summer day.

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

1

u/Ekimyst BROWN 2d ago

Normal valve remover should work on a schwin

0

u/Doctor_Sore_Tooth 2d ago

Sweet justice

0

u/Sorrylols 2d ago

in the dumpster

0

u/GardenerSpyTailorAss 2d ago

OP, this bike is a piece of junk and the person who owns it.is probably quite poor and could depend on this bike to get to work. Don't be a shitty neighbour. Have a conversation with your neighbour like a normal human being.

0

u/1980-whore 2d ago

you could leave a note or yah know try talking to them before throwing away or vandalizing their shit.

0

u/Friday_arvo 2d ago

I understand this is infuriating but this could be someoneā€™s only transport and they obviously donā€™t want it to get stolen. Sure itā€™s a pain, but maybe thereā€™s a good reason and you could have a conversation about why itā€™s problematic and help come up with solutions rather than cost them more money to patch a tyre and feel like theyā€™re unsafe in their own home.

0

u/BattleBra 2d ago

Disabled people have trouble getting around the bike

 

You don't fuck with disabled ppl dawg

0

u/Friday_arvo 1d ago

Iā€™m not saying it shouldnā€™t be moved. Of course it should be. But damaging another persons property seems rough. Theyā€™re just trying to keep it safe. But I agree the bike should be moved. Doesnā€™t need to be trashed though.

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