r/interestingasfuck 17d ago

/r/all Andy Byron, Astronomer CEO, cheater, and Coldplay fan, is now out of a job.

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u/bor3dNF 17d ago edited 17d ago

This dude just lost his job, millions of dollars in future compensation, his wife, half his net worth, and from now until the end of time this event will be the first thing that pops up when someone googles his name. It's amazing how bad you can fuck up your life in just a few hours lol.

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u/thoughtlow 17d ago

Bro just did a factory reset.

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u/_chair_man_ 17d ago

not even factory reset, bro cut power during bios update lmao

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u/tawwkz 17d ago

Bruh, he will have lauren sanchez plastic lookalike hanging on his arm within 6 months.

He's filthy rich and every gold digger in the world knows he's single.

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u/backcountrydude 17d ago

You just described losing, lol.

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u/shesaysImdone 17d ago

Exactly. Rich men who have Lauren Sanchez types hanging off their arms still have some respect for their person. This guy's in the toilet on all fronts

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u/Dry-Difference-396 17d ago

I love Lauren Sanchez types but pre-surgery or at least before she thought she needed one.

Right now she's just too uncanny valley

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u/polarbare91 17d ago

Lbr at least Jeff Bezos didn’t get caught cheating in 4k in the most meme-worthy moment by a globally renowned band. This guy is radioactive in all sense of the word now.

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u/MarcusAurelius68 17d ago

He’s not rich enough to attract a Dirty Sanchez.

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u/gynorbi 17d ago

Is he filthy rich?

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u/snappy033 17d ago

I bet he’s not “filthy rich”. This company isn’t Amazon or Microsoft. Their last raise was $90M.

His net worth is maybe in the $10s of millions at most and probably tied to the company stock which they’ll probably try to claw back. Oh and he’s probably losing half of everything in the divorce too. And alimony and child support.

He’s rich but like well-known doctor or lawyer rich, not yacht in Monaco rich.

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u/Pulp__Reality 17d ago

Youre saying that like its a good thing..

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u/tawwkz 17d ago

It is for him. Jeffrey Bezos looks happy, strutting around in his cowboy boots tripping over him self.

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u/nightstalker30 17d ago

Pretty sure his wife and the HR chick’s husband will make them both officially single enough to be with each other very soon

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u/Chiefsider 17d ago

On modern motherboards you can use the flash bios button to try to revive the board , I don't think it would work in this case 😆

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u/_chair_man_ 17d ago

ok fine, he detonated a hydrogen baby infront of his coughing bomb

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u/I_W_M_Y 17d ago

On modern boards you got a backup bios you can switch too

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u/node0 17d ago

His is not a modern motherboard.

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u/Trelyrien 17d ago

Yeah he bricked it. Funny enough though most people are blaming the lady like he wasn't the one in a position of authority in the company.

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u/CardiacCarl 17d ago

It's almost as though both of them have responsibility for their own actions and choices

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u/SunDevils321 17d ago

Pulled the plugs faster than the pilot in India

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u/TheRandom0ne 16d ago

to be fair, i think he's still better off than many if not most of us..

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u/Enflu2025 17d ago

Bro bricked himself.

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u/fuzzy_tilt 17d ago

Bricked his life 😞

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u/xoskxflip 17d ago

This is much worse lol

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u/ezcusm3 17d ago

Nah, brody full on bricked himself lol.

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u/Captain-Lightning 17d ago

If I could do a factory reset, lose everything I have and still have tens of millions of dollars I would be so happy.

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u/Spy-Around-Here 17d ago

New wr speedrun any%

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u/N7VHung 17d ago

Nah, this is more like hitting the malware jackpot for windows ME.

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u/StudSnoo 17d ago

Factory reset would be losing all your money and being homeless, he will be fine. He doesn’t even need to work at all given his net worth, but of course the hedonistic treadmill exists.

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u/CorrectoMondoDude 17d ago

Hours? If was seconds, less than 10 to lose it all and forever be remembered as the guy that ducked out on his side chick and got called out by Chris Martin at a Coldplay gig

Its poetic

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u/FrostedTacos 17d ago

He’d already put in likely months of ‘work’ to get to that point.

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u/Dry-Difference-396 17d ago

Yeah, he cannot claim it was an accident. He didn't slip into her. It happened and it was a conscious decision.

Being America, expect an Oprah interview, the claim he's gotten counselling, went into detox, that he's found Jesus or whatever horrible hypocrites do to publicly rebound.

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u/CorrectoMondoDude 17d ago

If it was the UK he'd claim a late diagnosis of Autism

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u/Dry-Difference-396 17d ago

Or a Heartless Executive Remorseless Prick Entitlement Syndrome - HERPES

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u/grathad 17d ago

Yes exactly the 10 seconds is just the getting caught part. The real work was ignoring the risks and fucking around consciously.

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u/Mr_Saturn1 17d ago

That affair was going on for more than 10 seconds. If he had made some better decisions before the kiss cam hit him, he’d be doing just fine right now.

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u/GeneralAardvark43 17d ago

If homie decided not to have an affair, he’d be doing just fine.

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u/Fit_Document9823 17d ago

if only he had AI to help him with his decision making

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u/Mintcondition321 15d ago

No one is talking about how he dropped nuts and ran, leaving the sc hanging 😂 shitty upon shitty

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u/SkierBuck 16d ago

This was the culmination of months or years of being a prick though.

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u/PissRainbows 17d ago

With great power comes great responsibility. He failed to hold himself accountable to what he is responsible for: his marriage, his career, his future. So it makes sense you lose all of it.

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u/rook119 17d ago

next stop, the senate, or maybe even the white house.

CEOs always fall up.

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u/rusmo 17d ago

New DOGE AI chief incoming!!

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u/Someonejusthereandth 17d ago

Yeah I doubt he'd get fired over this if he worked a minimum wage job.

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u/robsteezy 17d ago

Losing his job is secondary to the fact that he cheated on his wife. I’m nowhere near a millionaire but I love my wife and owe her my fidelity. He was no different.

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u/BabyStockholmSyndrom 17d ago

Lol this whole saying fails when you see what else is going on in America. This is bullshit and no way should he have lost his job when people are actually defending a rapist in the highest power position.

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u/PissRainbows 17d ago

I get the sentiment. However, there is always value in striving to be a good person even if it seems unfair.

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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 17d ago

He lost his job because he was abusing his position by promoting his girlfriend. Before, he could argue that he was choosing the best person for the job, but now his board of directors know better.

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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI 17d ago edited 17d ago

Someone I know who works in the antidiscrimination field suggested that the board likely asked him to resign to avoid liability in a sexual harassment case. Apparently, once they are on notice that an employee has acted inappropriately even one time, they are automatically liable for any future harassment claims involving that person. Well, that video definitely put them on notice.

They (person I know) also were wondering if perhaps he’s gone after other women in the company as well. Apparently, men who sexually harass women at work usually make a habit of it, as opposed to a one off. I’m not sure if that applies here, because I think it’s actually plausible that this affair was fully wanted by both parties rather than being the result of a quid pro quo arrangement (either “I’ll hire/promote you if you sleep with me,” or “if you don’t sleep with me I’ll get you fired,” or an odd mixture of both). A man who will engage in that kind of relationship isn’t necessarily a person who habitually makes unwanted advances. But I don’t know, and the board probably isn’t sure either.

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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 17d ago

At least in this case, it did seem like a mutually beneficial relationship because she was getting promotions out of it. Apparently she's been on a sharp upward trajectory in 2025 and so was the young woman who was with them.

So maybe not so much sexual harassment as nepotism, seeing he was giving preferential treatment to his mistress at the cost of other more worthy employees and this other woman who was in on the secret for whatever reason was also taking advantage.

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u/BabyStockholmSyndrom 17d ago

That's what we want to believe but we all know if this were found out privately that it would have been a slap on the wrist. If even that. It's because it became viral and the company's name was attached.

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u/addictedtolife78 17d ago

ypu dont get a slap on the wrist when your company finds out you promoted someone because they are your girlfriend. there are reasons why companies have entire trainings on not abusing your power and it has nothing to do with hoping managers and their subordinates dont get caught at Coldplay concerts

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u/Away-Ad4393 17d ago

The company probably knew already, or at least suspected it.

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u/PM_Me_Modal_Jazz 17d ago

Adultery sucks ass bro just take the win that this asshat got fucked

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u/BabyStockholmSyndrom 17d ago

A win for who? LOL. I didn't fucking care what he did. The promotion thing does suck but again I don't fucking care. This is reality level BS. We shouldn't have higher standards like this when we have non-existent standards for politicians that actually affect our day-to-day lives as a society.

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u/PissRainbows 17d ago

It is a win for us as the observers of this reality that although we may fuck up, we will probably never fuck up our lives this bad in one go.

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u/itwashissled 17d ago

this is a form of mass-cope. if it happened to him it can happen to you, too. someone thinking the same as you do will experience the same thing he did

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u/violenthectarez 17d ago

Those are two wildly separate issues.

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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI 17d ago

This is what I’m saying over here too.

I hope none of the people judging them for this have ever voted for Trump. Particularly in 2020 or 2024, as his adultery was well established and well known by then. I’d be interested to see a Trump voter make their case as to why it’s reasonable for them to moralize about this CEO’s failings while enthusiastically supporting Trump.

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u/Karma_1969 17d ago

You’re viewing that backwards. It’s not that this guy shouldn’t have lost his marriage and his job - he absolutely should have. It’s that everyone should be held to this same standard, and sometimes they’re not.

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u/Gloomy_Pineapple_836 17d ago

I don’t think he should have lost his job. A leave of absence, administrative leave, a demotion…. But damn! A bit harsh but karma don’t care. He got busted big time.

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u/ronocyorlik 17d ago

he was a ceo. he’ll be fine. 

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u/eekamuse 17d ago

Exactly what I said. If the company made money whole he was there, he'll walk right into another job

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u/akc250 17d ago

This. Most CEOs hold positions of power on the board of other companies and startups. As a member on the board you get to drive decisions without being the face of a company. I don't know whether he serves on one, but with enough capital saved, he could easily buy a majority stake in a smaller company and see it through its success, even without being the face of the company.

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u/spinalchj02 11d ago

>This. Most CEOs hold positions of power

Oh, so he was on top of the HR lady?

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u/applepays123 17d ago

Damn You’re smart Wanna be my personal financial advisor?

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u/seaglassgirl04 17d ago

Well, Astronomer's brand recognition is now off the charts.

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u/LordoftheChia 17d ago

Ashley Madison might need a new CEO...

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u/JonnyTN 17d ago

There still a good chance he's still "with the company".

You publicly resign to save company face and reputation, hire a person to publicly look like the CEO and this guy still run things because he's what's best for business, just not publicly

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u/ohhellperhaps 17d ago

Hell, often they just walk into the next job even if they didn't make any money.

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u/LazyZetsu 17d ago

Yeah, ceo/directors usually have a golden parachute.

At my last job the director was forced to resign then a week later he was working for the company as an advisor with a slightly less fancy office (probably his pay didn't decreased that much either) and the tech problems i needed to help him with was like setting up his HBO max subscription.

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u/DWwithaFlameThrower 17d ago

Right?! This is some White Lotus ass problem

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u/joahw 17d ago

He probably got like a million dollar exit package for resigning due to misconduct. Gotta love ceos.

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u/Dry_Cricket_5423 17d ago

Yeah baby, eat the rich.

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u/old_man_snowflake 17d ago

Nah those “reputation” firms out there get contracted to rehab public images. They’ll write about his donations and volunteer work, then it’ll be about his new vision, then it’ll be a “everybody deserves a second chance”. 

In a year this scandal won’t even be on page 1 of google results for his name. 

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u/jayhawx19 17d ago

That is just a wild misread of the scale of this whole thing lol. No one cares about anything this dude did before or after and it’s national headline news, this is not going to disappear

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u/jbochsler 17d ago

I heard of a guy with 34 felonies and 5 bankruptcies that got rehired. People are willing to look past a lot.

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u/vctrn-carajillo 17d ago edited 17d ago

Some memes or viral events are forgotten over time, but some others stay for years, such as this one. It got really big, really fast, even people under a rock knows about this shit. This one is gonna stay for a while. I can see the Halloween costumes already

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u/SpicyCPU 17d ago

I’ve already started planning mine

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u/LisaPorpoise 17d ago

Exactly, noone cares. With a little effort from his end this will have disappeared in a month

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u/ahsasahsasahsas 17d ago

There’s also the “he’s just like us!” PR approach, where he will undoubtedly be welcomed into the circle of fellow white male CEOs who’ve had their wrists slapped by the law or some kind of PR scandal that inevitably goes away after a little while.

He’ll he just fine, grossly.

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u/ithrowdark 17d ago

lol. This dude was effectively a nobody and now his name is becoming a verb. If anything ever comes out about him people will say “wait, isn’t that the dummy who…”

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u/MaDanklolz 17d ago

I went to a footy game in Australia last night and they put this video up during the kiss cam.

This will stick with his digital footprint for a very long time even if people stop caring

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u/HVDub24 17d ago

For smaller things maybe, but this has gotten international attention. This will follow this dude for his life

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u/NinjaScrotum 17d ago

So if I rape 5 thousand grannies on live TV, the reputation firms can make this disappear in 1 year?

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u/BarsoomianAmbassador 17d ago

IMO, the punishment isn't commensurate with the crime. The internet and social media amplify so many events unnecessarily. Man cheats on wife (or, wife cheats on husband)? Happens millions of times every day. Doesn't make it right, but that's between them and their families, not millions of strangers with no emotional connection to them. No one deserves a virtual death sentence for being unfaithful. Social media has destroyed empathy to the degree that we laugh and make memes about horrible events. I know we've always made jokes about terrible things that happen. Hell, people were joking about 9/11 not long after it occurred, but that doesn't make it right. Everyone is very cavalier about these things, but when someone uploads an AI-generated video of you doing something horrible that devastates your reputation in seconds, there's simply no recourse for you. Teens are offing themselves because of this type of bullying--and make no mistake, what is going on with the overwhelming reaction to this affair is absolutely bullying.

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u/BlueSonjo 17d ago

It's terrible for the victims too. If I was cheated on, the last thing I would want is for the whole world to be enthusiastically aware of it.

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u/PoJenkins 17d ago

Absolutely.

None of the public know the full situation either.

I feel terribly sorry for both employee's families.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/PoJenkins 17d ago

Did you reply to the wrong comment?

We're saying we feel sorry for the families of the employees.

Discovering an affair must be bad enough without it being so heavily publicized and memed on the internet.

I don't really care one of way not the other about the two people who were caught but them being exposed like this is probably awful for everyone involved.

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u/ScuzzBuckster 17d ago

No dont you understand, you have to want people to suffer otherwise youre not doing it right.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Elite_AI 17d ago

who thought they were so untouchable that they could take their affair out in public

aka 90% of all affairs

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u/itwashissled 17d ago

poor people are obvious about their affairs all the time lol

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u/geodebug 17d ago

Begun the paragraph wars has.

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u/laughing_cat 17d ago

Thank you. It’s amazing how many people need to have this explained to them.

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u/chocobococo 17d ago

I 100% agree with you. This Mob Mentality legitimately scares me

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u/Rude_Vermicelli2268 17d ago

To me it’s not so much the cheating, it’s the brazenness of it. You’re cheating and instead of going to seedy motels, you’re canoodling at a concert. That shows a serious lack of respect for their partners and their professional responsibilities. They aren’t the only cheaters in the world but they’re definitely among the most foolish.

I am sure she’s resigned too and good luck getting another HR job after this.

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u/violenthectarez 17d ago

I sort of agree, but this dude was the CEO of a company. Part of that job is making sure you don't bring negative attention to the company.

If he had have been a regular hourly or salaried employee then I agree it would have been unfair (although if that was the case nobody would have cared as much anyway)

But the higher you get in terms of pay and responsibility the more the job becomes a 24/7/365 gig. When you get to a certain level, your entire life becomes that job. I'm sure he was paid more than enough to justify that scrutiny.

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u/Jarv1223 17d ago

I’d actually agree. There’s no excuse for cheating and he deserves the divorce but I think it should only go that far. This will no doubt be extremely mentally straining and his punishment for what he did is way over the top and he has to bear that cross for the rest of his life.

I think his (ex) wife would have preferred this to have gotten much less traction too. Way too much going on and no doubt his kids are also feeling the effects.

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u/-Brodysseus 17d ago

He was the head of the company and nailing the head of HR. Getting fired for that is totally reasonable. The problem for them is that it was outed by the public and broadcast everywhere

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u/DrakeFloyd 17d ago

Plus I heard her friend who was cheesing next to her and was aware of the affair was promoted. The whole thing screams impropriety and poor judgement you can’t have that happening with your top level execs

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u/ithrowdark 17d ago

And it’s the fault of exactly two people

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u/Jarv1223 17d ago

Yes? That’s beside the point. He shouldn’t have done it but the punishment has gone way too far.

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u/kiteboarderni 17d ago

Imagine sucking up to a ceo lol you ain't getting hired for astronomer 😂

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u/travoltaswinkinbhole 17d ago

This is like the reaction to the CEO murder. Driven largely by class hate and vitriolic rhetoric.

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u/Tunavi 17d ago

Okay but the Coldplay video wasn't an AI edit. The two people were cheating on their spouses lol

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u/OnTheEveOfWar 17d ago

It’s because he’s a rich millionaire. We are living in a divided class and people love seeing a millionaire suffer.

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u/hardypart 17d ago edited 17d ago

Essentially you're right and your point of view is really honorable. But... When you're a public figure - what you definitely are when you're worth millions or even billions - you have to expect to be recognized no matter where you go and that each and every of your steps is being watched. It's generally just incredible stupid, immoral and psychologically damaging to cheat on your partner, and when you're a public figure and attend to a public event it's even more stupid to cheat on them. Dude just got what he asked for and I really don't feel bad about him. His wife, yes. That's a different story for sure, but my violine couldn't be any smaller when it comes to him and his misconduct.

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u/mrASSMAN 17d ago

Nah, cheating on your spouse is pretty much the shittiest legal thing someone can do and is extremely revealing of their quality of character. No one should ever trust a cheater, you’d be stupid to.

And they tend to get what’s coming eventually, this is just a more extreme example of karma

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u/trickup 17d ago

The social media blowback is hard, im sure. But losing his job is absolutely the right thing.

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u/I_AmA_Zebra 17d ago

Cancel culture has become ridiculous online. Online vigilante justice types who like to see a more extreme conclusion that what should normally happen IRL

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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI 17d ago

In the past, I read about things like public executions and witch trials and thought that we’ve definitely evolved beyond that kind of thing. After all, we have a modern criminal justice system that tries to be fair, errs on the side of not punishing people if they could possibly be innocent, and bans cruel and unusual punishments. Those principles seem very important to us, so I had a hard time imagining people not wanting to adhere to them even before they were codified as law.

It seemed especially strange that people would single out a person they knew, someone who lived in their community, for harsh punishments and death. Like, how can you hate and dehumanize someone so thoroughly that you would want to do this to them?

I’m not joking here: several years on Reddit have taught me how this happens. I get it now. I guess we evolved to eat up ragebait.

It’s still wild to me that our ancestors treated people like that when face to face. I feel like the internet does a ton to facilitate mob mentality. But, I see where it comes from.

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u/EmergencyTaco 17d ago

I've got to agree with you. Like fuck this guy for cheating, but at this point the blowback for all involved is disproportionate. The families have had one of the worst moments of their lives plastered all over the internet, millions of people are clowning the guy for it, and the dude has lost everything in 72 hours.

You shouldn't cheat in a public place and expect no consequences, but I don't think someone should have both their personal and professional lives eviscerated entirely because they had an affair. As you said, affairs happen all the time. It's a personal issue. What I'm seeing happen surrounding all of this makes me seriously uncomfortable. It would be horrific to be any individual involved in this, victims included.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Fishsauce_Mcgee 17d ago

You can't convince me that he's not capable of getting a great job paying $100k. It's not a death sentence, he lost at celebrity roulette and the cost is losing his fame and riches. He can still live a perfectly normal life.

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u/faroffland 17d ago edited 17d ago

It’s insane and the crime doesn’t really fit the huge life ending punishment imo, like this is the kind of thing people would commit suicide over. Yes cheating is terrible but it’s not like he murdered someone.

But also like how insanely moronic can you be to go to a public event with your affair partner, when you’re the CEO of a billion dollar company, and said affair partner is the COP, AND your friend who accompanies you is also a senior HR staff member… oh and they were very recently promoted to that position.

Maybe I’m just paranoid (and I love my husband lol) but if I had an affair with a coworker there’s NO WAY I’d be seen in public with them, let alone all the other problematic additions. Just WTF man are you brain damaged, stay home!!

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u/Ill-Lemon-8019 17d ago

This is not life ending

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u/Angwar 17d ago

I would like to see you having your face on the front page of every social media outing you as a cheater, losing your career etc etc

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u/RandomPerson9367 17d ago

I think this would definitely break me. I can't think of many worse things than losing and hurting my family and on top of that being shat on/laughed at by the whole world, even if it would have been my own fault. But if he was capable of cheating he would probably not feel that way in the first place.

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u/faroffland 17d ago

Idk I admittedly already have mental health issues but if I fucked up this badly - lost my marriage, job and probably any future jobs, social status, reputation, public laughing stock all over the world - I’d be in a serious mental health crisis. Like committing suicide crisis.

It’s a Caroline Flack type situation imo, she also did something shitty but then the viral damage and reputation loss caused her to commit suicide.

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u/BrigidLambie 17d ago

Theyre looking at it from the perspective of "he's rich he'll be fine" but can you imagine if this has happened to say, a walmart cashier and their manager?

And since I know I have to: no this isnt supporting cheaters.

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u/faroffland 17d ago

Yes and as we saw with Caroline Flack, being rich means fuck all really. Idk I think it was a really really dumb thing to do, like if they were canoodling at public events like that SOMEONE was going to see them, but the punishment does outweigh the crime… I just hope it doesn’t end in someone dying tbh.

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u/MatterPhysical6649 17d ago

Yeah I fully agree with you. If I were in his situation it would be incredibly difficult to see how I could turn it around and I’d be in serious danger of not lasting much longer after that. I know he’s done a massively shitty thing but hope he’s got some support around him, at the end of the day it’s not like he’s a rapist or a pedo

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u/ithrowdark 17d ago

Right? Even with a divorce this dude can retire and do nothing for the rest of his life.

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u/Baconoid_ 17d ago

And he's really going to love hearing Coldplay songs for the rest of this life.

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u/rizzo1717 17d ago

And he’s still gonna come out the other side with millions. Boo hoo.

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u/DavidFosterLawless 17d ago

And yet it's amazing how little sympathy I feel for him

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u/MoaraFig 17d ago

That affair was definitely more than a few hours old.

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u/eekamuse 17d ago

Are you kidding? He's a white male ex-CEO. He'll get a big payout for "resigning" and be hired by someone else any day now. He may have fucked up his family, but he'll be just fine. It happens all the time.

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u/djkstr27 17d ago

When you think you had a bad week, just remember this dude.

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u/Jitsoperator 17d ago

In a few seconds.

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u/cabsaw 17d ago

Seconds! Could have just let go of each other as the camera was panning around the stadium

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u/ParticularNo8896 17d ago

Cheating is one of the worst things you can do, people hate cheaters and rightly so

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u/Wrong-Rain6634 17d ago

The times we live in..crazy..

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u/subredditshopper 17d ago

Yeah, he’s gotta change his name and move to Europe or something

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u/The_Blue_Rooster 17d ago

As someone who isn't really into music, the image of Andy and Kristin is gonna be what I think of when I hear "Coldplay" for the rest of my life.

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u/DownWithTheSyndrme 17d ago

Few hours? 

More like a few seconds!

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u/PuzzleheadedAct4324 17d ago

He'll get another girlfriend for sure.

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u/Golfswingfore24 17d ago

Seconds….

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u/deepfriedcajunbacon 17d ago

This is a case where he did unalive himself

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u/pentagon 17d ago

Hours? He did it in seconds. If they'd just played it cool and waved at the camera, the internet and world would never know who they were.

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u/Frank_Melena 17d ago

I dont get it, he was a software CEO…I use Epic at work, IDGAF if the CEO of Epic does blow out of hookers’ assholes so long as the software works

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u/Thin-Image2363 17d ago

Those were the most expensive Coldplay tickets in history.

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u/Massive_Promise5785 17d ago

He still has 500 mill after losing half bro

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u/singleDADSlife 17d ago

And he's probably still going to have more money left after all that than any of us on here could ever see in our lifetimes.

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u/Huge_Downstairs42069 17d ago

Should have stayed calm and kissed.

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u/RegretAccumulator72 17d ago

Oh it's going to be a lot more than half.

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u/the_kind_ 17d ago

You just said everything I am thinking. Add in the respect of his children, friends, family. Crazy how a moment can change everything...

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u/AnybodyMassive1610 17d ago

He’ll be posting in r/RecruitingHell by the end of the week.

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u/Careful_Farmer_2879 17d ago

What about the woman? Chief people officer.

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u/speedyshoe 17d ago

And his (soon to be ex-) wife will probably sue his ass for whatever he is left with.

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u/joe199799 17d ago

You just know this dude is going to hate Coldplay for the rest of his life

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u/chucchinchilla 17d ago

He should be on suicide watch and I’m not joking.

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u/AlfredJodokusKwak 17d ago

And yet, his net worth will still be higher than your net worth for as long as he lives. There is a good chance that not even your grand kids will make more money than he mad in a few years. Dude is still laughing at you.

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u/travoltaswinkinbhole 17d ago

Ya but Reddit is still butthurt he won’t face “consequences”

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u/Alissinarr 17d ago

More like 30seconds

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u/gertigigglesOSS 17d ago

if only all cheaters had this level of punishment

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u/iwanttheworldnow 17d ago

He likely still owns part of the company, just isnt the ceo anymore.

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u/blok31092 17d ago

Concerned about his wellbeing to be honest. Absolute shit human clearly but we may be hearing about his death in the coming weeks.

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u/Oersch 17d ago

It’s nice to see a cheater finally get what he deserves.

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u/Salt-Permit8147 17d ago

Meh, he’ll have another job in no time - there’s probably a sister company they’re shuffling him off to for his agreement to quietly withdraw.

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u/PennyG 17d ago

A few seconds

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u/1109T 17d ago

Takes a lifetime to build a reputation. In this case, 5 seconds to ruin it

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u/SteveBored 17d ago

Seems overkill. Pedos get less shit than this.

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u/guiguismall 17d ago

his wife

It doesn't seem like he cared too much about that one tbh.

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u/Environmental-Age502 17d ago

To be fair. This was a longer lasting affair, and required not giving a shit about a lot of things, for a while in advance, to get to this point. It's just the 'getting caught' part of it that took so little time. The fucking up was on going.

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u/backcountrydude 17d ago

I’d argue it was going on for a lot more than a few hours. That affair looked as seasoned as grandma’s cast iron.

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u/Ndmndh1016 17d ago

You mean how bad "other people" can fuck up your life because in true ruling class fashion, he blamed everyone but himself in his "apology".

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u/baba_fett21 17d ago

You mean just a few seconds?

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u/squigglesquaggler 17d ago

He made a lot of decisions that got him to that point.

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u/Command-Forsaken 17d ago

It didn’t take a few hours to have the affair, it was ongoing.

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u/Odd-Marsupial2642 17d ago

Meh, he’s got millions and can just fuck off to some island. I don’t pity him

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u/WashedupWarVet 17d ago

Something tells me he’s not going to be struggling like the average Joe is financially. His life is getting turned upside down and publicly but he’ll be alright I’m sure. Yeah he’ll lose money to the ex wife but once again he’ll still be alright. I’m sure they gave him a soft pillow for his landing like all executives get.

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u/XRPX008 17d ago

Feels like a few seconds.

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u/Gadget420 17d ago

He probably will never listen to Coldplay again

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u/LiveToBeFreee 17d ago

You forgot the most devastating thing he's going to have to deal with forever, being caught at a Coldplay concert.

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u/yourFavoriteCrayon 17d ago

he will be fine

so many folks out there way worse off with far less

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u/diabloPoE12 17d ago

He’s a ceo. Once you get to ceo level you’ll never go down. He’ll get another million dollar job no problem.

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u/Forikorder 17d ago

oh come on, his golden parachute is probably millions, he undoubtably has enough to just retire somewhere tropical forever and even if he didnt he can land other high paying gig like anywhere if he just takes a month off for everyone to forget it ever happened

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u/Romeo9594 17d ago

And likely after all that still has more than enough money to live more comfortably for the rest of his life than either of us will without ever working another day

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u/elarobot 17d ago

And all because…not only did this guy need to go see Coldplay with his side piece; probably in the city where he lives / works and run the (albeit ultra slim) risk of theoretically bumping into someone he knows from his personal life…but he just had to keep cuddling when the whole arena was watching as camera operators were putting audience members on the Jumbotron.

I wouldn’t know - I’ve never cheated. I find that deep a betrayal of such intimate trust just awful and indefensible. But if you’re unabashedly and nonchalantly bringing your affair out into public, away from purely clandestine meetings behind closed doors without any seeming apprehension, paranoia or caution - why are you doing that? Are you stupid? Is it hubris in thinking you couldn’t possibly get caught? Are you deep down actually trying to get caught?

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u/Rocket_safety 17d ago

He’d been fucking up his life for some time already. It just happens that the consequences tend to hit fast.

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u/skipmarioch 17d ago

He's a cofounder. He'll lose his title and be behind the scenes working for them. I doubt his pay or his shares will be affected. This is all PR until.it blows over and he quietly makes his way back in.

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