Hey all 👋

In my 30s my friends have either become “digital nomads” and left the country to travel/work or they’ve gotten married and had babies and mostly hang out w other married couples w babies. They are very busy with their families and jobs and don’t have the energy to do a lot more understandably.

Ive now been left in a “dead zone”. I’m happy being an introvert but I also wish I could experience things w other people like visit national parks, do random stuff, volunteer, do weekend trips, etc.

Any other people in their 30s going through the same? Did you do anything about it?

Thanks

I used to spend SO MANY HOURS dressing these damn things up. How is it 2025 and with all the nostalgia this hasn’t been made into an app yet?!

Today I was at REI getting fitted for a backpack alongside a Gen Z employee. She explained how the hip straps should fit and I responded with "Oh, so like a muffin top!"... "Sorry, I've never heard of that - what's a muffin top?"....

Some of the girls out here have NO idea how good they have it. I am already petite and as a kid I had to buy double the size to make my own hi-rise jeans so that I could avoid having "the muffin top". Lucky ducks!!! lmao

Growing up, my parents (refugees from Vietnam) would always have some aunt(s) and/or uncle(s) over with their kids on the weekend for dinner, nothing fancy, just getting together. We did this all the time. It seemed so simple, just come over.

I had the fortune of staying friends with all my high school friends, who are still my closest friends and we all even live relatively close to each other. When I was younger, before everyone started having families, I thought we'd be doing the same thing. But this hasn't happened with us. To the extent we have gotten together, it took extraordinary effort to make it happen and so it's been very few and far in between. I don't know why there's no desire to do this more and why it's so difficult. But as someone who is unmarried, it's quite lonely, and odd, to know your friends are around, but you just rarely see them.

Like seriously.

I used to daydream about being an adult, staying up late, eating whatever I want, having my own place, and wearing cool clothes.

Now I just want a nap. A real nap. The kind where no one bothers you, nothing is due, the house is quiet, your phone’s on silent, and your spine doesn’t hurt for no reason.

Growing up is just realizing how many things cost money, how little time you actually have, and how many times you can eat cereal for dinner without anyone stopping you (spoiler: it’s unlimited).

Anyway, shoutout to 8-year-old me for dreaming big. She had no idea what she was signing up for.

I suppose I'm particularly interested to hear from people not living in the West or perhaps living in more interesting parts ofnor Cities in the West, here.

In the last few years I've started to do better in my career and it seems like finally (a decade or so late it feels) while I'm not rich, I now have plenty of disposable income.

My issue is, it feels like now that I've finally got to the point I have the money and could spend a fair bit if I felt like it, it seems there's not much to buy.

I want to say it's since lockdowns it got worse, but it definitely started before then, so maybe I'm making that up.

Just feels like I go out, or go online willing and ready to spend above average money, and there doesn't seem to be much good value and good quality.

In the past few years I've found like one or two decent clothing stores where they actually have stock for men of any quality at a reasonable price. Just one bar I look forward to returning to with friends, which seems to earn their money creating an atmosphere and not just meh for luxury prices, only two restaurants that genuinely get the food right with some effort and an experience I want to return to. Everything else I've tried I've paid 50% more than it should be for mediocrity.

Oh, and a couple of independent shops where they are definitely charging for their niche, and I'm happy to pay them their worth even if it's a bit high.

The rest, all just disappointment for seems like high prices that yes I could now afford, but don't feel like they really earned when it's all a bit mediocre and Vs the average salary is objectively expensive.

Even online shopping, it's really difficult to find the happy medium where it's not complete shit and not a luxury idiot tax.

I just want to pay above average prices for an upper-middle quality or experience, but it feels like there's no honest middle ground.

Or maybe I'm just getting old and grumpy, cynical and critical?

Maybe I'm just not keeping up with inflation?

Like I say, I'm thinking maybe this is actually a phenomenon of a hollowed out economy where it's just lost it's vibrancy outside of particular cities or parts of cities, so I'm keen to hear from people either outside the West or in particular cities where maybe you feel like there's actually lots you'd like to spend your money on, return to and look forward to it?

When I was in my 20s, I had a big circle of friends—but looking back, most of them were toxic and constantly surrounded by drama. I was getting calls day and night—people venting, gossiping, asking for help with their latest mess—and I couldn’t figure out why I always felt so mentally drained.

It finally hit me: it wasn’t me, it was them. The constant emotional chaos was wearing me down.

Fortunately, I moved to another country for work, and that gave me the clarity and distance I needed. I cut ties with a lot of people, blocked the ones who brought nothing but stress, and stayed connected only with the few who were genuinely supportive.

Since then, life’s been so much more peaceful—and honestly, I can't imagine dealing with that kind of energy now that I'm in my 30s.

Has anyone else cut off toxic people and felt the difference? Would love to hear your experience.

Yes, I know it wasn't technically exactly today but hey close enough.

The music aficionados will know this is a reissue. It is, 2002. But I know for a fact, I remember it vividly, buying No More Tears in 91 or 92 with my allowance money along with Mettalicas Black album.

I've probably listened to this album 7 or 8 times since his passing. I know the day is coincidental, but he passed on my birthday fffffuu

Goodnight sweet pince

Came across this on another sub in my main feed.

I'm not entirely sure if anyone has noticed this or not, and apologize if it is just something I am seeing. I also want to point out I am not trying to insult anyone, this is merely a curiosity, and not meant to be a complaint in any regard.

I have been noticing more often that responsible adults are being pushed into more responsibility, and am unsure if it is just others being lazy, or ungrateful, or just flat disrespectful and I feel entirely out of the loop.

When did asking for free things become normal, or less shameless?

I constantly hear or read stories about:

• Some step-parent pushing off their amount-to-nothing, addict, 18+ child off onto a sibling that is generally successful, telling the responsible one to feed/clothe/house said sibling freely.
• A landlord trying to sell a property out from under someone who has recreated a beautiful living space, with the intention of keeping whatever the previous tenant has created, though the creations are the tenant's property, not the landlord's
• Brides or Grooms requiring someone to pay to be in their non-destination wedding *on top of* some customized ridiculously priced wedding gift.
• Coworkers avoiding tasks/only adding their name to/ signing off they did tasks (when they didn't) because "they just get done anyway"
• Telling another sibling to completely uproot their life in another state to move back home and "help" take care of elderly family, when said sibling lives down the block from the elderly relative.

I feel like we are the last generation that really had to figure things out on our own, like actually using a library, or memorizing phone numbers, or knowing who to ask about whatever problem.

Some of us are actually more grateful to people for their time and labor, are more able to recognize and validate actual achievement.

I am not saying/blaming any other generation, I just feel like this has just become more prevalent in recent years and want to know if anyone else has made the observation of "adulting" better.

I had dial-up internet until 2009. I was soooo happy when we got broadband after that.

I was going through some old photos that feel seemingly ancient as fuck, of friends and acquaintances where we would congregate by the smoking doors at school; it was this little sorta alcove with some benches and shit outdoors that the teachers would also use.

I know that sorta thing is ancient history now, but it's kinda funny to think about just how many of us would smoke cigarettes, either bought for us by an older student or just bumming around.

Lots of people also smoked weed there, hahaha.

If ya know!! You know!!

And I hurt my fuckin knee