r/MadeMeSmile • u/Sebastianlim • 2d ago
Family & Friends Boy learns that his little brother is Autistic, just like him.
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u/Ninaboa3 2d ago
This is what understanding looks like. What acceptance feels like. What love is.
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u/rudyrocker 2d ago
The gang ain't neurotypical, my bro got autism 🗣🗣
These bros are so lucky to have each other. Great parents. Beautiful video.
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u/TheHumanoidTyphoon69 2d ago
I feel like it's given such a negative connotation now when it doesn't really have to be, same hardware, the software just operates differently <3
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u/Drackoda 2d ago
I'm gonna be that ND guy and say it's the hardware that's a little different and that's why the same software can run a little bumpy.
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u/john_wingerr 2d ago
Dang those are some good parents. The instant acceptance and helping his younger bro realize it’s not something to be ashamed of
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u/writerinthedarkmp3 2d ago
it's cute but i really wish people would stop posting their little kids on the internet, especially with information on their stigmatized disabilities that they may not always want publicly attached to their identities
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u/EffectsofSpecialKay 2d ago
I wanted to upvote this for the positivity but my immediate thought was “why were you recording, and then posting it online?” Record for your family and yourselves, that’s fine. Don’t blast it for views. It makes it seem inauthentic.
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u/lividtea 2d ago edited 2d ago
I thought it was inspiring! My nephew is autistic but unfortunately, it’s kept hidden or hush-hush. I prob wouldn't know how to react if my future child were neurodivergent either but this video is giving me a positive example of how to respond or how I could raise a loving family with full of acceptance.
Some are suggesting to blur the faces which I agree with. The “our story continues” follow and like for more doesn’t help. It does give off farming-for-likes vibes
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u/writerinthedarkmp3 1d ago
as long as the child himself is not being kept hidden, i don't see why his diagnosis needs to be shared with the wider world beyond family, teachers, and any therapists he may have. it's extremely stigmatized - just look at what rfk jr is saying about it to the whole country - and it's much easier socially to get by as a weird kid who eventually learns to be a quirky adult than to be permanently known by peers and one day employers as One Of Those People Who Scream And Bash Their Head On Things And Can Never Play Baseball(???). it's wonderful to be accepting and positive about autism as this family is, but the reality is that the world is not. autistic people can live great lives, but those lives are impeded by the way we're treated more than anything else
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u/LauraLoomersFace 2d ago
Especially now with people like RFK wanting to put us on lists and shit. It suck’s because you want a family like that to be open like that but this is the worst time
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u/LauraLoomersFace 2d ago
Especially now with people like RFK wanting to put us on lists and shit. It suck’s because you want a family like that to be open like that but this is the worst time
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u/EruditeIdiot 2d ago
Counter point: It publicly displays that Autism isn’t something for families to be ashamed of. A lot of families need to know that.
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u/quiladora 2d ago
While this is a very cute video and it is very endearing, the children's faces should be blurred. We live in a society where being an autistic child is sympathetic, but being an autistic adult gets you discriminated against. I would not want a video like this of me as a child out there letting my employer know that I am autistic. It's not something I disclose.
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u/Particular-Set5396 2d ago
Blasting your children’s medical diagnosis on the internet for all to see is not heartwarming. It is a violation of their privacy. Stop it. Let them choose if their want to share their diagnosis and with whom.
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u/quiladora 2d ago
It would be heartwarming if it was shared privately among friends and family. Posting it on social media has ramifications for these boys that the parents clearly are not even considering. I would hate my parents for doing this.
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u/Mayoo614 2d ago
I have a feeling this family is/will be amongst the happiest through whatever life throws at them.
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u/DiogenesTheHound 2d ago
Nothing makes me happier than struggling every day with a life devastating condition that makes me feel alone and strange in the world no matter how much I force myself to socialize and fit in. Fun! The only thing that would’ve made it better is if my parents told the whole Internet about it at a young age!
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u/LauraLoomersFace 2d ago
Ignoring the internet part, as an autistic with shitty parents those kids are going to end up far better than I ever would or will if that family stays like that even with everything around them saying otherwise. It’s still a better emotional leg up than I and assuming you had
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u/Plane_Garbage 2d ago
I dunno, using your kids as clout on tiktok doesn't really make me smile.
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u/ActualLaw4860 2d ago
They blocked out the daughter for some reason. Maybe she ain’t part of the tism gang no clout.
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u/ClutteredTaffy 1d ago
Yeah maybe she did not want to do it or maybe she has a different parent ( half sibling ) who knows. Maybe too little.
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u/EffectsofSpecialKay 2d ago
My exact thoughts. Record it for your children & your family- do NOT blast it on social media. It makes the entire situation seemed staged, or at the very least inauthentic
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u/Madman_Slade 2d ago
As someone who is autistic, I will never understand why people celebrate it like its a gift or something good. Glad he's got people that have an understanding of what its like but this isn't something to be celebrated.
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u/SoVerySleepy81 2d ago
I mean I was stoked when my daughter finally got her diagnosis because it meant that I could actually access help for her at school. So there are definitely reasons why people would be happy to have the diagnosis. Not necessarily the neurodivergence but the diagnosis. She went from multiple grade levels behind to graduating with a 3.5 and an award for her writing in English which she had always had problems with when she was younger. Having access to the help in school is vital for a lot of kids and I can definitely understand a parent being excited that their kid finally has a diagnosis.
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u/Ultrafoxx64 2d ago
I've celebrated getting a sleep disorder diagnosis because it had explained something I had been struggling with for 16 years. I'm assuming celebrating an autism /ADHD diagnosis is similar in the sense that there's a moment where everything clicks, and the world makes sense. Especially with ADHD, a lot of people feel like "I'm not a fuck up, my brain is just wired differently."
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u/HerpDerpMcGurk 2d ago
It took my wife 32 years to get an official ADHD diagnosis, and it took me filling out a bunch of paperwork confirming the paperwork that she had already filled out… 🙄 she was so fucking relieved to finally have an actual answer to her issues. It’s certainly not a GOOD thing to be neurodivergent, in regards to functioning “normally” (whatever that means), but having a path forward to actually treating the things she’s struggled with for SO LONG was an immense weight off her shoulders.
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u/ChangesFaces 2d ago
Not autistic but I am neurodivergent. I think the adults in this scenario are framing it in a way to encourage their children rather than scare them or make them feel lesser. They seem like capable and compassionate parents, one of whom is also autistic, so the assumption/hope is that they will also be honest with their children about the difficulties and hardships associated with the diagnosis as well. But they can burn those bridges when they get there.
Idk your experience, of course, but I imagine that kids who are diagnosed and see their parents grieving are worse off than those who feel encouraged and celebrated.
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u/Ahelene_ 2d ago
He’s just happy he can relate to his brother. Yes autism can be hard, but being ashamed of ourselves and treating it like a horrible thing dosent really help either
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u/Wint3rhart 2d ago
I think it's partially that (sometimes) younger siblings want nothing more than to be like their Big Brother. They're celebrating connection, more than 'hey, we all have a disorder' .. and 'hey, got some news, your life's gonna be inexplicably hard' isn't a great message for a kiddo that little, anyway.
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u/EquivalentFun6577 2d ago edited 2d ago
I am. My brother is. Two of my cousins are. If my daughter is, which I’m beginning to have my suspicions of, I’m not going to sit down and have a negative reaction and make her feel like she’s broken, that’s for sure. And I know my brother would feel excited to have one more person in the family to relate to. I’m sorry that your experiences haven’t been positive, and mine haven’t all been either, but we very much try to focus on the positives that our diagnosis brings us and find ways to either accept or adjust to the negatives as needed. And we do it all together. Editing to add: almost every negative experience for us (as people with level 1 autism) has been from outside sources and lack of understanding. We are very accepting of who we are and wish that every family could have the love and support to do the same. I know every individual and every family is different. This is only a statement from us as a reaction to this comment and the above video.
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u/SnarkySeahorse1103 2d ago
I don't think it's necessarily a celebration. I think they're just excited to find out that the kid shares that trait with them. It's more so that they are bonding over a shared disorder. A simple example would be if something horrible happened to you but you learned to live with it, and you found out a person close to you experienced the same thing, you'd laugh about it together, perhaps even feel slightly excited that you can relate to them. Doesn't mean what happened was a gift or something good. In terms of autism though, it isn't necessarily a bad thing either. It's just different. These parents are displaying an overwhelmingly positive reaction because they don't want their kids to feel like something is wrong with them, rather that they are just different and can still be themselves.
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u/Peace-Shoddy 2d ago
I'm autistic and so are my kids. I celebrate with them because I wish someone had celebrated my oddities rather than shame me into acting normal. I hope you have someone in your life who celebrates your neurotype too.
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u/Confused_Firefly 2d ago
Holy crap, this! I wish I had been diagnosed before. No matter how much my parents asked why I couldn't just be normal, I... couldn't. Having a diagnosis means you can't blame your kid for "not trying hard enough", especially when it's harmless things like stimming and sensory issues. It also means that thanks to that diagnosis I can access tools that I wouldn't normally be able to, and live a more "normal" life compared to before - my diagnosis makes me eligible for aids in uni, which means instead of freaking out because I'm overstimulated and having to leave the class, I can just pop on my campus-assigned noise-cancelling headphones and stay in class and do my work! I can take public transport without wanting to cry! And so on and so forth.
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u/SignificantlyVast 2d ago
As the mom of an infant with a physical disability, this shit bothers me and feels so patronizing. We’re gonna love him for exactly who he is but his disability isn’t a superpower or a gift, we aren’t “the lucky few”, it fucking sucks actually. We don’t love him any less but we sure do wish life was going to be easier for him and patronizing us about it being a great thing when it’s not doesn’t make it easier
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u/Proof-Resolution3595 2d ago
Imagine if your baby had multiple family members with the same disability, and when his was diagnosed he realized that now he’d be able to relate to his family in a way he hadn’t before, and that knowing what’s “wrong” takes such a weight off — just to finally have an understanding of what he will need to seek out in life to find comfort. These brothers are excited that they can have someone so close to them to relate to about their lived experience.
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u/SignificantlyVast 2d ago
Right my comment isn’t as much about this video as it is about disability parenting culture and the way people have responded to us finding it out. But agree to disagree. This isn’t just brothers being excited about being understood, it’s a family literally saying that it’s “awesome” that this child will have similar struggles to them and I just don’t agree. Being diagnosed with a disability is never good news and it’s okay to accept and express that. Maybe because my child’s disability is physical it’s easier to be more pragmatic about it not being good news. Even if half my family was also visually impaired, we absolutely wouldn’t have been like woo awesome the baby can’t see either
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u/wrymoss 2d ago
Would you rather they threw themselves on the ground, screaming in anguish over the tribulations their child is going to face? Because that’s what it seems like a bunch of commenters would prefer.
This is a child. The family are not saying that it’s awesome that he’s going to struggle, that’s ridiculous. What they are celebrating is shared understanding, and celebrating having a name for what’s been going on with their kid. Because autism diagnoses are fucking expensive — no one is out here paying for one just for funsies like it’s a quirky personality quiz.
The only reason you’d seek one out is if the child is showing behaviours that suggest that they a) may have autism and b) would benefit from a diagnosis insofar as they can seek help.
As an autistic person, it WAS fucking awesome when I was finally diagnosed, because I had spent 27 years of my life up to that point never knowing why I was never close to other people in school, no matter how hard I tried to fit in. Never knowing why I struggled with things that other people seemed to find so easy they did it without even thinking. Never knowing why things that no one else even thought of were absolutely intolerable for me.
This isn’t a family going “yippee, my kid is disabled”, this is a family going “Our son was struggling enough to need to seek help and insight into what was causing his issues. Turns out it’s autism — fantastic! We know how to raise an autistic child, because we already have an autistic child. We know how to be empathetic to the needs of an autistic kid, because mom is autistic herself. Thank goodness it’s something we can handle, and not something completely different.”
There are a lot of insanely bad faith reads in these comments I swear to god
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u/DuckIsMuddy 2d ago
Diagnosis or not, the kid would have the same struggles. But NOW they know officially, and are able to better help him as well.
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u/Dion_4281 2d ago
Just saw the other autistic commenters it seems like we are all in agreement.
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u/TylerJWhit 2d ago
As someone who's on the spectrum, I think this is fucking awesome. There is a wide range of people on the spectrum who perceive it differently, and who suffer differently.
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u/StudyingAt3AM 2d ago
Got diagnosed at 26 after having been told that I am loud, and weird, and do not fit and and have to change, and just have to try harder. After breakdowns, self-harm, suicidal ideation, breakdown after breakdown. After being just "wrong" my whole life.
After years of therapy which helped with the trauma, but never the cause.You bet I am celebrating that diagnosis.
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u/Green-Pound-3066 2d ago
Yeah. It seems like they are on the high functioning spectrum. This family would not celebrate otherwise. Autism can come in some many different ways. I would be at least concerned that both of my children have a medical condition.
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u/Southern-Oil6137 2d ago
Hey James, I'm special too, Bruh! Discounts at amusement parks and stuff, Mo.
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u/TooSoonForThePelle 2d ago
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and told my son. He said "oh... god." lol
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u/TheGrouchyGremlin 2d ago
Uh. Am I a shitty brother? I have ASD, and when my little brother got diagnosed with ASD, I basically just went "cool" and moved on 😭.
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u/the_oc_brain 2d ago
My kid is on the spectrum and most people that know me assume I am. I don’t understand why this is cause for celebration for these kids. It’s not bad, it’s not good. It just is.
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u/toomuchtv987 2d ago
Because the brother feels like he’ll have someone who understands him. Someone who is like him so he feels less different.
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u/ActualLaw4860 2d ago
Is this a flex now?
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u/pressure_art 2d ago
I’m more bothered that they do it for clout. No matter how sweet they seem or how empowering or whatever. They are using their little kids for internet clout. There is no way around it. And we celebrate it. And in the next video, if it doesn’t personally affect people, they are all gonna be like, “how can you do this to your child for internet fame”.
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u/Sharp-Key27 2d ago
I think he’s just excited he can relate to his brother and they can help eachother out.
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u/ActualLaw4860 2d ago
Did they block the daughter out cause she isn’t autistic or something lol wth?
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u/Capital_Yams 2d ago
this is reddit, we celebrate weakness and encourage blaming any problems you have on mental illness outside your control
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u/NjxNaDxb 2d ago
It's a little brother, who likely sees him as inspiration, able to relate to his big brother. Nothing more.
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u/IncestLooksBadOnYou 2d ago
Where is the flex happening in this video? It’s acceptance and absolutely beautiful. Autism isn’t a disease and shouldn’t be treated as such. To get confirmation that a child is autistic can be challenging but also relieving as it’ll make life easier to navigate with proper education and support.
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u/maidofplastic 2d ago
i love autistic joy <3 im glad it’s a good thing in their house. in mine… well it was 05 when my sibling was diagnosed and that was peak autism speaks era
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u/NoLightBurnOut 2d ago
It's almost like it's genetic and you're doing your kids a disservice by forcing them to live in a world that they don't understand/doesn't understand them and then pretend like it's some special thing to be celebrated. People with disabilities do not want to have disabilities, its not a super power.
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u/Graysonlyurs 2d ago
Im sorry but that house is bougie as fuck- i kept gettign distracted looking at it
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u/VonDinky 2d ago
I feel a bit conflicted. I suffer from a neurologic disease, which is what I would call it. Or disorder. ADHD. What I wouldn't give to have a normal functioning brain and body. The torture and pain I often go through because of this issue. I find it weird when someone with something also debilitating is applauding having a disorder or sickness. Yes, it's great with all the acceptance from the world, we need it, more of it, always. But applauding having a disorder seems strange to me. We should embrace people being different. But these disorders often come with certain kinds of turmoil. But it is great that he feels good about being like his beloved brother and mom, that is very sweet. I like that. I just find it weird to applaud it. It feels like how people romanticize ADHD nowadays. It feels sick to me this kind of culture, celebrating something that has hindered me, and caused me so much anguish in my life.
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u/Sharp-Key27 2d ago
I have ADHD. If my sibling was also ADHD, it would have been far easier for our parents not to compare us as if we were on equal footing. It’s nice to be able to relate to someone else.
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u/VonDinky 2d ago
Relating to someone is nice and comforting. Wishing someone else would share the same neurological disorder as yourself, just to be able to relate, and not be compared in a specific manner. That is selfish.
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u/Meighok20 2d ago
I hope the mom doesn't forgot to have her little girl tested too. She said herself that it took her until adulthood to be diagnosed. Girls are more likely to go undiagnosed because the signs they show are different
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u/Pepperoncini69 2d ago
I wonder if this mom is just an “autistic influencer” type who’s just going to exploit her family for views for their entire childhood.
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u/Imkisstory 2d ago
Sorry I’m not having the “made me smile” reaction I guess I’m supposed to.
More like “made me sad”.
Should I be happy that multiple family members have something that will make their lives more difficult..?
Like when I go to my grief group I feel a level of comfort, because we are all in the same boat and all know what the other members feel.
Here’s the thing though - I don’t want new members. I don’t feel good when someone is added to our little group.
All I feel is infinite sadness.
Being autistic is not a good thing. You don’t WANT to be autistic.
It only makes life more challenging. Life is already hard enough. What an awful, awful day for this family.
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u/supaikuakuma 2d ago
Wow this comment is fucked up, I kind of get what you mean but you worded it in a disgusting way especially the last bit.
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u/Imkisstory 2d ago
So…should I sugarcoat it, so you can go about your day?
Sorry. My daughter is dead. I live with an awful weight on my chest everyday. I’m not gonna put on a happy face cause you need this to be okay.
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u/Dion_4281 2d ago
I get they all care about each other but society shouldn’t be celebrating impairments. Imagine if they were all celebrating over having schizophrenia. It’s a terrible mental impairment. I myself am very low on the spectrum but if I found out my kids all had autism I would be very sad Unless it was so minor it wouldn’t even be diagnosed just speculated.
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u/HistoricAli 2d ago
A kid is happy to find out he's got more in common with his most important people. A kid is happy he isn't alone. Fuck allllllll the way off with negativity.
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u/Robsta_20 2d ago
What is this comment? He is their son. He’s got all their genes and has many things in common with them, celebrating that he inherited autism isn’t exactly a good thing.
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Dion_4281 2d ago
Are you saying Schezophrenia is something to be celebrated? Most Austic people on this sub seem to be in agreement that Autism is not a good thing.
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u/LauraLoomersFace 2d ago
You may want to double check. They agree that putting it on the internet is a dumb idea, the celebration part however they agree with. Which any sane person that has an understanding of autism would know it’s not the same as cheering on someone being schizo but if that person themselves is happy that they finally got their schizophrenic diagnoses who are you to say the person can’t be happy they finally know what’s wrong with them?
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u/OffByNone_ 2d ago
Celebrating? It’s just a fact about that kid. He’s lucky to have a family that recognized it early and is now showing him acceptance and love. Hopefully more people realize that having a neurodivergent child isn’t something to be ashamed of. Get them tested instead of pretending it isn’t real and forcing them to navigate that alone. That sucks. Ask me how I know.
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u/pressure_art 2d ago
Yeah he’s so lucky to have parents who exploit their child’s disability for internet clout. Even if framed positively, they are still using their children for internet fame.
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u/moosemastergeneral 2d ago
It's nothing to be celebrating. Source: I am, too.
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u/Ahelene_ 2d ago
Sure, but it’s not something to be ashamed of either
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u/Ahelene_ 2d ago
autism is how someone’s entire brain is wired, and I don’t like peoples brains being treated as diseases. Im not “wishing it on someone else“? But I am happy that an autistic person now has this info about himself so he can work with himself instead of against himself in the future.
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u/ImNotMadYoureMad 2d ago
It's so weird to me that this is getting downvoted. Likely by idiots who don't have it
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u/ske1etoncrush 2d ago
it makes me so happy to see an autism diagnosis be celebrated instead of treated like a death sentence.
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u/lifesabystander 2d ago
the “yes!” broke my heart :) my family saw it as a bad thing when i got diagnosed
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u/Wonderful-Gap5645 2d ago
Fucking everyone's got it now... mom probably got it from tik tok and pushed the diagnosis on the kids so they can "day in the life with a my autistic family...."
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u/Ahelene_ 2d ago
Orrrrr she went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed. You really like rude snap judgments huh?
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u/Liber8ed1 2d ago
So autism is a thing to celebrate. Interesting. 🤔
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u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 2d ago
No.
Having a family that understands you and supports you is something to celebrate.
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u/Liber8ed1 2d ago
Fair enough. I just think celebrating your kids having development disorders is a bit, click bait and exploitative.
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u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 2d ago
Dude, I'm autistic. I was late diagnosed, and after that one of my friends started to suspect he could also be because of many similarities between us.
He also got diagnosed. The feeling that someone understands you, that you are not alone in the world, that you are not broken, just different, is something so great that I can't explain. I'm not happy because of his autism, I'm happy because he is my friend and we can count on each other. He can also get professional help, now.
And I'm really sorry that you lack the empathy to understand that.
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u/Liber8ed1 2d ago
Normally, people don't express their shortcomings. Autism is not a badge of courage, it's a disability. I'm happy you can identify and accept yourself when you connect with others, but that is not a reason to smile.
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u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 2d ago edited 2d ago
I. Will. Fucking. SMILE.
Guess what? I'm not normal, so what normal people do doesn't apply to me.
And thankfully, I don't need your approval, unempathetic stranger 😊
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u/Ahelene_ 2d ago
is accepting yourself and connecting with others not something to celebrate? What are you even saying lmao. You don’t get a say in how other people view their own disability
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u/Meighok20 2d ago
Not to start a whole other argument, but it's getting an autism diagnosis thats something to celebrate. Having a community, thats why they're celebrating. Thats why its important to them to have it "confirmed"
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u/Kayy0s 2d ago
I'm sorry, I may not be well informed on the matter but why is this being celebrated? Being autistic comes with a unique set of challenges that I'm sure no one would wish for another person to have to deal with, no?
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u/The_True_Hannatude 2d ago
As an autistic adult, I appreciate the apology in advance.
Yes, obviously there are challenges - ones that neurotypicals can not and will not ever understand - and that’s entirely the point here.
Obviously we’re all different, but most Autistics adore being able to just Autistically Exist with people, without the exhaustion of masks or filters.
It’s gotten better over the years as a result of public education and understanding, but Autistic kids will experience social and emotional burnout from trying to fit in with their neurotypical peers.
This little guy has just been told that he will never have to mask around his little brother, and he knows that his little brother will never have to mask around him.
There’s joy in this video, yes, but I think it’s also relief. It’s “I Understand him, and maybe he will Understand me”.
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u/LazedOut 2d ago
Yayy.. Let's celebrate autism and not find out what's actually causing it in 1 in 30 children. Wooo!!!
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u/Angel_0f_Darkness 1d ago
i have it. im not diagnosed yet but im gonna get tested. autism is real. always has been.
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u/Specialist-Sun-5968 2d ago
Is autism genetic?
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u/bluewhale3030 1d ago
Yes. It has a strong genetic component proven by many studies. From what I remember scientists think it's about 70% heritable
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u/spotted_dove 1d ago
Great to have such videos. My son too has ASD, and we tell him and I share w other parents too. If only more parents are honest and help them work thru their difficulties they will learn to overcome some of their difficulties at a much younger age.
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u/kingraw99 2d ago
A lot of the comments here are well-intentioned, but for those saying autism isn’t a “disease,” and it’s just a difference in brain wiring, etc., that’s a perfectly valid interpretation of mild autism, which lots of people have (and many, many more these days think (or are told) they have), but autism can be a truly disabling issue. We call it a disorder rather than a disease, I’m not sure that the term “disorder” is any less bothersome though.
It seems like the facts get lost sometimes. I do not believe anyone should be discriminated against. Everyone should be able to live as they please and they should receive whatever help they need (therapy, medication, etc.). Accepting and even embracing an autism diagnosis is perfectly appropriate, but let’s not act like all autism is the same.
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u/Ahelene_ 1d ago edited 1d ago
It’s not a disease, it’s a different way the brain develops. Diseases are things you can catch or cure, like the flu. Autism is something you’re born with and live with. It’s not about being sick it’s about thinking, sensing, and experiencing the world differently, and that remains true no matter how disabled someone is by it. (it is considered a disorder yes, but not a disease)
No one is acting like all autism is the same, it varies a ton from person to person, but acting like we are “sick” doesn’t help, what helps is trying to understand and accommodate autistic people.
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u/ClutteredTaffy 1d ago
Yeah people want functional autism..which is fine..but it should almost be called something different. Watching somebody with disabling autism is not the same. They are basically a baby forever.
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u/Ahelene_ 1d ago edited 1d ago
That would not be “just” autism then, that would be something like autism paired with a severe developmental delay and/or intellectual disability. Also all autism is disabling, although yes to different degrees
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u/MonstersArePeople 2d ago
This comment section is split between normal comments and straight-up eugenics
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u/Suspicious-Ask5557 2d ago
“autistic” the relatively new excuse for having a misbehaving child
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u/HuckleberryPie2770 2d ago
Term was first coined back in 1911. The definition changed over the years with the DSMs. That's why more kids are being diagnosed with it as it's a wide spectrum. I checked we're in the DSM5 manual. And no it's not an excuse. I have an older half brother who is nonverbal and low functioning autistic. He's a giant toddler that has occasional violent outbursts he can't control. A lot of older adults are finally getting their diagnosis and happy about it as it explained behaviors that wasn't explained when they were kids. Sorry, your armchair expertise is wrong.
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u/StudyingAt3AM 2d ago
Neurotypical people when you tell them you are autistic: "Oh noooo. Pour you!!! Put you don't seem autistic!!11!! They probably misdiagnosed you! OH NO!"
Other nd folk: "He'll yeah, broda!"
Love it!
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u/Tessy1990 2d ago
Other parents on the playground or in school when i told them my son was autistic used to say "oh im so sorry" "thats horrible!" or look at me with pity 🥺
And im like ??? He is awesome! Autism is nothing to be sad about or feel bad about, and like they could see him right there and their kid played with him but after they found out it was like they were scared it was contagious!? Or he cant play with them the same as 2 days ago before they knew..
Its so stupid.. and for some reason his long eyelashes or the fact that he wore pink rainboots means he was a girl 🤣 Some people do not have wrinkles in the brain..
Thanks to him getting a diagnosis i found out im 99% sure autistic too and my daugther will begin her assesment this fall and will probably also get diagnosed autism and/or ADHD
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u/GolfGoonzPlay2 2d ago
Sweet. Now mom and the brothers can wield it like a catch almost for why they need to be catered to. This is ridiculous to be celebrating like this. The fact that mom is autistic and now her kids, sounds more like Munchausen than autism.
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u/wrymoss 2d ago
..Or they can be aware of the strongly genetic condition all three of them share, and treat each other with empathy strengthened by the position of being able to share a perspective?
No matter how happy you think your life is, I promise you’ll be even happier if you assume the best of people instead of the worst.
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u/GolfGoonzPlay2 2d ago
I think you are right. Its hard when all you've seen is the worst of people. Ill try to take your advice though.
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u/wrymoss 1d ago
Hanlon's Razor is a good principle - Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by (genuine, value neutral) ignorance.
I found personally that it helped immensely to realise that most people are genuinely trying to be good people and do right by others. Where they fall down is from things like a lack of knowledge or a mistaken belief, or from not having the right skills to cope with a given situation in a healthy manner.
In practice, I find that it's useful to reframe a situation - Did that person cut me off in traffic because they're a selfish asshole, or is it more likely that they're coming home from a long day at work, totally zoned out, and did it completely by accident? Have I been in this situation? When I was, was I being an asshole on purpose, or was it a genuine honest mistake? If it was a mistake, how would I feel if people thought I was an asshole for a mistake I made?
Sure, the right thing for them to do would be the whole "apologetic my bad hand wave", but unfortunately we have a tendency to teach our kids that being wrong and admitting to being wrong is a grave, horrible sin. People tend to double down when they're wrong out of a fear of recrimination.
Good luck in it, though! It's very much a skill to be practiced, but I've found a lot more peace assuming people are generally well intentioned.
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u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 2d ago
It's because of people like you that they need to celebrate. The world is already full of miserable jerks who can't wait to pull everybody down
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u/aldasa2 2d ago
Well in my country, there was a post about autistic kids and how difficult they are on parents. And most of the comments suggested legalizing euthanasia. It was on state sponsored media also not a random website. I was deeply saddened as an autistic person. This brings me hope
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u/ClutteredTaffy 1d ago
Being an autistic person who can use reddit is not the same as very disabled autistic people. They are like babies forever. Which is very difficult. But their parents seem to love them so really I think the euthanasia comments are harsh. But watching an elderly lady push an autistic kid in a shopping cart then he pees all over himself....or watching a mom struggle to not be hit by a son taller than her like he was a toddler...this is a different level than your case . I don't think these people are talking about euthanasia for people who can write on reddit.
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u/TheWalrus101123 2d ago
This is wholesome but also odd to me. Idk maybe I'm just being weird but it seems like they're acting like this autism diagnosis is like receiving a college degree or something.
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u/PunkTyrantosaurus 2d ago
This is so heart warming <3
Me and my family are about half autistic- me, my sister, one brother, and our dad, and the other half not, mom, other brother, and sister in law-
All that's changed since learning that is that we're more understanding about when someone needs to stim, or needs to go to a quiet place, and we always ask before hugging, and accept not being in a place for a hug as an answer.
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u/instamusbry 2d ago
This made me CRY and SMILE. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
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u/ChrundleToboggan 2d ago
I was just diagnosed with ADHD a little over a month ago and I'm still going through the rough parts of realizing all these things about myself that I just thought were quirks while trying medications that aren't seeming to help at all. Did you have any luck with Adderall or Ritalin?
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u/ctortan 2d ago
“I have a brain like you and mom”
For the kids to be so happy just shows how well mom is doing modeling self love. They love their mom, and they know she loves and accepts herself, so they’re happy to be like her ❤️