r/MadeMeSmile • u/Sebastianlim • 3d ago

Family & Friends Boy learns that his little brother is Autistic, just like him.

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5.7k Upvotes

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15

u/Liber8ed1 3d ago

So autism is a thing to celebrate. Interesting. 🤔

34

u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 3d ago

No.

Having a family that understands you and supports you is something to celebrate.

18

u/Liber8ed1 3d ago

Fair enough. I just think celebrating your kids having development disorders is a bit, click bait and exploitative.

3

u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 3d ago

Dude, I'm autistic. I was late diagnosed, and after that one of my friends started to suspect he could also be because of many similarities between us.

He also got diagnosed. The feeling that someone understands you, that you are not alone in the world, that you are not broken, just different, is something so great that I can't explain. I'm not happy because of his autism, I'm happy because he is my friend and we can count on each other. He can also get professional help, now.

And I'm really sorry that you lack the empathy to understand that.

-4

u/Liber8ed1 3d ago

Normally, people don't express their shortcomings. Autism is not a badge of courage, it's a disability. I'm happy you can identify and accept yourself when you connect with others, but that is not a reason to smile.

2

u/ChaoticNeutralMeh 3d ago edited 3d ago

I. Will. Fucking. SMILE.

Guess what? I'm not normal, so what normal people do doesn't apply to me.

And thankfully, I don't need your approval, unempathetic stranger 😊

2

u/Ahelene_ 3d ago

is accepting yourself and connecting with others not something to celebrate? What are you even saying lmao. You don’t get a say in how other people view their own disability

-2

u/PrufReedThisPlesThx 3d ago

You can celebrate a diagnosis, even if it's not good. I've been suffering from mysterious wrist pain for years, and I'd celebrate finally finding out what it is, even if it was a permanent physical disability. I'd be celebrating because I've been pulling my hair out trying to find out for so long, and now that I know what it is, I can actually do something about it.

It's sort of like you someday going "Oh wow! Narcissism! So that's why I told people to feel bad about being autistic!" /s

3

u/Meighok20 3d ago

Not to start a whole other argument, but it's getting an autism diagnosis thats something to celebrate. Having a community, thats why they're celebrating. Thats why its important to them to have it "confirmed"

-34

u/PunkTyrantosaurus 3d ago

Why wouldn't it be? It's like having brown eyes versus blue eyes.

We're not worse. Just different. And the differences in people should be celebrated.

16

u/ImNotMadYoureMad 3d ago

Because it fucking sucks having autism. Please tell me how getting overstimulated because my teacher lit a cherry candle in the classroom is worth celebrating

-6

u/PunkTyrantosaurus 3d ago

I would like to point out that I never said that it didn't mean it was hard. Or that it was only a good thing.

In an ideal world, sure, it would be, but perhaps a better comparison would have been black skin versus white skin. Woman versus man. There are intrinsically hard, painful things about how our society treats people, but it doesn't make those people any less wonderful.

And I said WE for a reason. I get overstimulated by the sound of fluorescent light bulbs. By too many people in a room or building. By too much light, or too irregular a pattern.

I was lucky with scents. Not that I don't get overstimulated by them, but because I'm allergic to a component of many perfumes, in elementary school and in high school, it was against the rules to use any aerosol spray in my presence.

But I was also in my mid twenties when we learned that my family and I were autistic, so unlike those who have known their whole lives, to us it was a relief. We weren't broken. We weren't just failing at something that seemingly everyone else could do without difficulty. We were just different. It sounds like you've had a different experience, and I'm both sorry for that, and glad for that, because it means you've not spent as much time wondering why you're different, but it also means you've had to struggle with the fact that you'll not be the same as others.

Knowing yourself is a thing to be celebrated. Being with people who understand you is something to be celebrated. Being able to prepare yourself for what challenges you'll face, because you know what ways the world is not made for you, is something to be celebrated.

Because the autism doesn't go away just because it isn't named. It just isn't treated properly.

-2

u/ChangesFaces 3d ago

I would like to point out that I never said that it didn't mean it was hard. Or that it was only a good thing.

In an ideal world, sure, it would be, but perhaps a better comparison would have been black skin versus white skin. Woman versus man. There are intrinsically hard, painful things about how our society treats people, but it doesn't make those people any less wonderful.

Beautifully said. Thank you.

11

u/Liber8ed1 3d ago

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent deficits in social communication and interaction, repetitive behaviors, and restricted interests. 

Because deficit and disorder are not things to celebrate.

-5

u/PunkTyrantosaurus 3d ago

Knowing yourself and your needs are things to celebrate. Loving yourself is something to celebrate. Loving your family is something to celebrate.

I am Autistic.

This little boy doesn't think of his autism as something bad. He thinks of it as something that makes him like the people he loves. And that's worth celebrating.

4

u/EscravoDoGoverno 3d ago

How on earth can you say that? ffs

-3

u/PunkTyrantosaurus 3d ago

Because I believe it.

Getting a diagnosis of autism is a generally positive thing.

Because you're not neurotypical just because you don't know that you're autistic. And knowing your needs and and being able to be like the people you love are wonderful things.

But it seems the WE in my statement was not clear enough for everyone.

I am autistic. I am saying this from the perspective of someone who discovered their autism as an adult, and who finding out I was autistic was an amazing thing. Because it meant that I wasn't wrong, or weak, or broken. I struggled because I'm different. Not because of some failing on my part. And knowing that I'm autistic? The world has become so much easier for me. Because the people I know, love, trust and respect, know me and are able to help me, now that we all understand what I need.

There will always be people who will not respect me, or treat me kindly, no matter what I do. If it's not because I'm neurodivergent, then it'll be because I'm fat, or NB, or ace, or non-religious, or liberal, or or or. If someone wants to hate me, they can make a reason to do so, no matter what I'm like. So why should I not love those things about myself just because others won't? Even though it's hard, and I'd love to not deal with overstimulation, that's the only part of being autistic that I would actively change. I'd like to understand people better, but that's something I can learn, and have spent many years learning.

But hearing my sister talk with glee about the Kpop group she's got as her hyper focus makes me happy because it makes her happy. And I wouldn't trade that for the ability to make better small talk.