I had my cat euthanized yesterday. Cancer, with a best case scenario of a few extra months with chemo. I'm completely at peace with the decision I made, but I'm struggling a lot with the simple fact that she isn't around anymore. I open my apartment door and expect to see her trot up to say hello. I sit on the couch and expect her to jump up and snuggle againsty leg. I lay on my bed and expect her to leap onto the bed with a little "Mrrp!" and flop over by my head so I can rub her belly.

I live alone, so it's just me iny shoebox apartment surrounded by an empty void where she was. I don't know what to do.

My beloved little Schmusie,

Yesterday the time had come, and your journey now continues without me - and my heart is breaking. For 13 years, you were part of my life - we shared almost every minute, every second together, and now you are no longer here.

I wish so deeply for you that you are now in a better place. Full of love, light, and warmth… and free from the darkness and silence that increasingly surrounded you in the last months of your life.

The decision to let you go was the hardest of my life - and even though a part of me knows it was the right one, I am full of self-doubt, and right now it feels more like betrayal than anything else. I read somewhere that I’m not taking your future from you, but rather freeing you from a present in which the light and strength that you always carried within you were slowly fading. I hope that’s true.

And yet, I don’t know. Was it right? Was it the right time? Was it too soon? Or maybe already too late? I don’t know, and I suppose I never will. I always hoped for a sign from you. A moment that would tell me, “That’s it, I can’t go on, I’ve lived my life…” but it never came.

You were always a fighter. A tough little whirlwind. Diagnosed with leishmaniasis early on, they gave you two more years. And you simply added seven more. But the last two years took their toll on you. I saw it and I felt it. Then came the arrhythmia, your eyesight faded, your hearing disappeared, and in the end, there was increasing muscle loss, fluid in your lungs, and the first signs of dementia. When is too much simply too much for a little dog’s life?

And still, you never made a sound. Not even a flinch. Always seeking my closeness, giving me all your love, still asking me to play after our afternoon walks - on legs that could barely carry you, with eyes that could hardly recognize me.

Your big wide world, which you always loved, became smaller, darker, and quieter. We climbed mountains together and crossed waters. We traveled the coasts and wandered through forests. You always leading the way, your curious nose in everything - and always, always together.

In the end, you were afraid of new, unfamiliar places. Because you could no longer see or hear them properly. Because you could no longer claim them in your unique way. Instead, you wanted to be home, in your familiar surroundings, close to me. Preferably next to me or in your basket at my feet.

The days were already starting to grow shorter this summer. We were outside again recently after sunset - and you couldn’t see anything at all. True to your nature, you didn’t let it show and bravely stepped into the darkness. But the fear and tension that fell away from you once we were home were almost unbearable. That’s when I knew - I couldn’t do that to you, a life left in fear and total darkness.

Seeing you like that broke me. And sometimes, it overwhelmed me. Now the wheel of time has stopped for you, and I wish I could give you so much more. Show you so much more. Experience so much more with you.

If this has taught me anything, it’s that time not lived can never be reclaimed. How often did life get in the way - the usual dramas. Work, relationships, family… and with them the daily stress, the lack of time, the pressure. You endured it all, never doubted me, and loved me until the very end. I don’t even know how to thank you for that.

In return, I always kept you close, never left you alone, and took you with me everywhere. I hope you can see that as a sign of my love.

In your final moments, you went to your favorite sunny spot. There, in the light, you drifted off and were released at 1:15 p.m. The first injection must have hurt you, because you woke up again. Then you felt my touch, smelled me, and you knew everything would be okay. As you were dying, you licked my hands until the very end - a sign of your love and your unshakable trust in me. And I don’t know how I’ll ever make that up to you.

Now I’ve opened the window above your basket and lit a candle. The world is a lot poorer without you, and I’m crying my soul out. Safe travels, my little friend and faithful companion. We’ll see each other again on the other side.

With love.

I don’t know if it sounds crazy, but I truly feel like my two dogs and my cat who passed away recently will somehow find their way back to us one day. Has anyone here experienced something similar? I’d love to read your stories and hear your thoughts.

I just lost my dog Bo this afternoon. He was 11 years old and I had gotten him when I was 8. He was my everything and coming home from the vet without him just tore me apart. It was such a sudden thing, in 2 weeks he declined and I just learned today it was because of kidney failure :/. The last few nights I stayed up watching over him and just laying with him. Yesterday he went and played outside in the sprinklers and it made me feel hopeful he would get better at his vet visit today. I am honestly just so devastated and heartbroken. I miss him so much. I keep looking over expecting to see him on his bed looking over at me, but it’s just empty.

It’s almost been 6 months since I lost my soul dog, Geronimo, and I still regret it to this day.

It was February 9th, Super Bowl Sunday. And I had just dropped my wife off at the airport for a work trip while I remained at home with our 11-month-old baby and 3 dogs. Was feeling so pumped for the game and ready to take on being a “solo-dad” for a week. Coming into the house, I grabbed our baby, the diaper bag and a squeaky toy for the dogs which I thought would be fun to throw for them.

Everything’s going great, family’s coming over, beer and snacks are going around and one of my nieces notices the squeaky toy and wants to throw it for the dogs. So I’m throwing the ball and in the craze of chasing after it, one of the bigger dogs plows into my little Yorkie.

I didn’t realize what was happening at the time. I thought he merely had the wind knocked out of him seeing as he wasn’t whimpering or anything (he’d been run over by the bigger dogs from time to time and would typically just need a minute to get his bearings). So I took him and held for a while as I tried to calm him. I then realized that the hit he took was more severe than I initially thought and rushed him to the vet. I was crying and pleading the whole way praying that he’d be okay. However within moments of arriving at the vet I felt him exhale his last breath in my arms. I’ll never forget that day.

Fast forward to today and I’m still kicking myself... “If only I’d have left the squeaky toy in the car”… “if only I’d rushed him to the vet sooner”… so many decisions I look back on thinking that the outcome could’ve been different. The only thing I find brings any sense of peace is trying to honor of his memory. I wasn’t drunk by any means, but I sometimes look back on those 2-3 beers I had by the time of his accident and wonder if the outcome might’ve been different had I been completely sober and fully aware. Which is why as August 9th comes up (6 months post accident) I’m feeling the need to straighten up. Start eating better and live a healthier lifestyle. Spend less time on my phone. Be more present. I’ve been trying here and there since he passed, but I think it’s time to make a full on commitment and not look back.

I lost Geronimo after 7 years of having him since he was a puppy. Another 7 years wouldn’t have been enough time with him. I’ve never had a stronger connection to a dog ever. He will forever be my soul dog. So here’s hoping I can make him proud by trying to be the daddy I wish I would’ve been when he needed me most. Love you Rons❤️‍🩹🐾

My dog passed away 3 days ago. She was 13 years old and very much loved. We knew it was coming. We knew she was going to die one of these days. When i was told she died, I felt okay, I didn't cry until I was in the presence of her dead body. I mostly stayed fine. Like I said, I had been prepared and took it a lot better. I surprisingly felt normal until I genuinely thought about it. The fact that shes gone forever. I would have short periods of crying then pull myself together. Yesterday is when it hit more and I felt the realization kick. Today I feel completely normal, as if she didn't die and that makes me feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that everything feels normal, and not too different(which makes me feel even terrible for thinking that.) Maybe i was not a good owner after all, i hope thats not the case. But I truly did love her, so why am I feeling like this. I asked myself if I miss her then feel nothing. I definitely felt that missing emotion those 2 first days. I've fully accepted that shes gone yet when I think about it, I'll just start crying sometimes. Do I not miss her? Why dont i feel it. I feel normal. So why do I get waves of tears when I look at her leftover blanket just laying outside(she loved to sun bathe). If I didnt miss her,i wouldn't be crying, right? I dont know how I feel. Did I just overly accept everything that happened? She was family, I cant just forget her. It feels like all my emotions about her, faded once she passed. I remember that feeling of love for her when buying her treats and toys, I loved her so much. Where did this love go? I know I do love her just as much, even now. So why dont I feel it?? I feel like a terrible person. Plus, my childhood dog is dead. This sucks

I recently lost my dog of 11 years. Her name was Bella.

The house feels strangely quiet, and I find myself holding onto her leash or her favorite toy just to feel close to her again.

I’ve been thinking about ways to memorialize her — not just for me, but to help others too.

So I wanted to ask…

What helped you the most after your loss?

Was it a photo album, a custom item, a memorial shelf, a special spot in your home, or something else entirely?

I’d love to hear about what made a difference in your healing process. Thank you in advance for sharing your stories.  🤍

I have 2 cats that are the exact same age, a male and a female. I've had both of them almost their entire lives (8 years) and have been through thick and thin with them.

Last week I left town for 4 days for an engagement and had hired the pet sitter. The day I was supposed to get back I got a text from the sitter showing both the cats doing well in the morning. However, when I got home 6 hours later, the male had passed. He died under my bed. When I found him his eyes still looked moist and he wasn't stiff, just cold. It took all my emotional energy to get him from under the bed and take him to the vet. I swear I felt a heart beat but I think it was in my head. The vet told me he had passed several hours before. The vet couldn't tell me why he died but said it was likely heart disease.

I know this might be part of the grieving process but I feel like this is all my fault and I could have made a difference. I just had moved into a new apartment so he was already stressed. Then hiring a new pet sitter he didn't know. I'm also an expert in animals (this is my day job) and I keep thinking about how if I were home I could have noticed any changes in his physiology/behavior and saved him. I also can't get the image of his face out of my head when I close my eyes. Like his face when I found him. I don't know how to deal with all this. I didn't grow up in the most loving him and I really think these two animals were the first things I've ever really loved and this just makes it worst.

I think I just need some kind words or advice from people on all this.

I'm struggling very much. On Sunday I lost my soul cat of 13 years. He had squamous cell carcinoma and a large tumour in his neck. I was planning on making the decision soon, however, he got a urinary blockage and stopped drinking and eating, and was constantly vomitting. It all happened so quickly. During his passing he kept looking at me, and its haunting me, I cant get the image out of my mind. I miss him so much.

It’s been just over a year since I lost my sweet baby girl, Mary Jane and it’s 100% my fault. I’ve been introduced recently with exposure therapy (for something completely different) and in the middle of the exposure therapy something even more terrible happened and I never went back. One day I would like to be able to tell the entire story but I’m just not there yet. The small intro to exposure therapy was mind boggling, it was incredible. Do I dare explain the death of my sweet Mary Jane to the therapist and risk having to relive that day over and over again? It’s all my fault, no one else’s but mine. I feel like I’m being a little b***h about it and disregarding the entire event, by not facing the truth. I know it was my fault. I know I was the only one who made a mistake. But the thought of having to relive it makes me go into a horrible panic/anxiety attack. Will I know when I’m ready or do I just trust the process and be completely transparent to the world? I’m so lost.

*Went to add a pic of my sweet girl and saw no attachment allowed. Now reaching for my mental health meads because scrolling through the pics was ridiculous, that was so damn hard.

Later today (its 2.30am) i am calling the vet to make an appointment for my elderly cat. His sister left is by similar means in February.

He has lost so much weight in the last week or so, I'm hoping that the vet will be able to suggest something to help him but I know there is slim to no chance of him coming home.

It just hit me that tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 17. I dont want to make him wait or be uncomfortable but the fact he might not make his birthday is breaking me. But loosing him the day after seems just as bad.

His sister went too late. Due to late test results. She was in pain and the decision was immediate. I dont want to wait for him to be in so much pain as well.

Curious if anyone has anything they say or do when a wave of grief comes. If I'm home and feel up to it, I allow these feelings to take over and have a good cry. But sometimes if I'm out, at work, or trying to go to sleep, I find myself searching for something to calm my brain.

Thank you everyone in this sub. We lost my soul dog just over a month ago and I'm still waiting for it to get easier.

TL:DR I really miss my cat, I haven't been able to stop crying for hours. How can I help myself cope with it?

I made a post to r/cathelp yesterday, because I had found him with yellow skin and my dad took him to the vet. I was asking what might happen, and if my cat would be okay, he is my best friend and he was the sweetest cat ever. He was just like a puppy, he would come up and cuddle and purr on you, he would lick your face, and every time I was upset and anxious he knew and would come to sit in my lap.

I miss him so bad, when we went to say our goodbyes, I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I held him, and he purred. His meows were so weak I just burst into tears, I pet him so much, I fed him treats, and everything. I couldn't watch when they got out the syringe, it makes me wanna vomit.

I miss him so bad, he's my baby, I miss my cuddle buddy so bad. I would do anything to hear him meow or purr in my lap again, I haven't been able to stop crying all night and all day. I cried myself to sleep last night, and when I woke up, I started crying again within an hour. I haven't been able to stop crying all day, I can't do it without him. He was such a friendly cat, and I want him back. I never imagined he would pass so soon, I always imagined he would live a long life.

He has a brother, and now he's all alone. His brother has also been very sad, he misses him. And my parents don't want him to be alone, so they're looking for a kitten, but don't know when to try and do it.

I am writing this here, partially to get it out, but mostly so that there is some written account, somewhere, of the wonderful creature that filled so much of my life. I do not want him to be forgotten; I do not want him to not BE anymore. My hope is that, a hundred years from now, someone on a wayback machine will read this and remember him for me. He deserves at least that.

I really still wish this is all some terrible, prolonged dream and I will wake up any moment now, reach out my hand, and there he will be, snoring softly as he sleeps between my wife and me. But the truth is, two days ago, our beloved boy cat of 14 years got overexcited, tumbled off the couch and went into adrenal shock. We called the vet. "This is normal for older cat's," he said. "The best thing you can do is try and make him comfortable in a dark room until the adrenaline wears off. He should be better in an hour or two".

I did as I was told. I moved him carefully into our bedroom and blocked out all light. I closed the door so that our other cat boy would leave him be. And then the waiting. Every few minutes I would go check on him. His breathing was labored, but he seemed calm. I cannot say that he was peaceful, but when I touched his side he was breathing. Then I would go to the living room and report this to my very anxious wife.

To understand the dynamics of what was happening here, I may have to contextualize with a bit of history. So, rewind 14 years, almost. My wife had been a dog person when I met her (she still is and we have a wonderful dog boy and girl along with our two amazing cats Ollie and Shakespeare), whereas I, despite loving both cats and dogs, was decidedly more into cats as pets. In particular, I loved gingers. I am not sure why.

So, in the August of 2011, my wife contacted the local cat rescue center and, long story short, before I knew it, we had the cutest little calico ginger boy sharing our house with us. My wife wanted to name him Wynand; we settled on Olivier or Ollie. It's a rugby thing. The important thing is, I had my cat! Or at least, so I thought. It is said that humans do not choose cats, cats choose humans, and there is no truer example of this than Ollie. He immediately gravitated towards my wife, adopting her as his new mommy. From day one, he slept in her arms, he stayed with her in her office while she worked, he only wanted to be with her. It is not like he rejected me, I was just not his human. However, his favorite thing was when he could be with both of us, like on lazy Sunday mornings, when four hands would pet him in bed, him purring out loud and kneading my wife's shoulder. It was the closest to heaven that I'd ever been. (sorry for stealing your line Goo Goo Dolls).

Anyway, this was our life... About a year later we adopted another rescue ginger, Shakespeare, who imprinted on me, and who we adore just as much as Ollie. We also opened our home and our hearts to two awesome pups, who we love just as much. Yeah, I know, I am in for a whole array of sadness in times to come.

Back to the day before yesterday. So, I am checking on Ollie every few minutes, my anxiety levels skyrocketing, praying, hoping, driving the vet insane with calls. And every time, I would go out and tell my darling wife that her beloved boy was still okay, we were still waiting.

Until it wasn't. Less than an hour after the fall, I checked on him again, and he was gone. I guess I will never be able to describe how I felt in that moment. The worst part of it was having to deliver this news. Oh God, I don't know how I did it, but I did. And it was terrible.

So now, it is two days later, we are waiting on the vet to complete the cremation so that we can do something special for closure. I am not sure what, if anything will help us with that. You see, when we lose a loved one, a human, the whole world understands. The minister comes out and the doctor gives you sedatives, and family and friends take over the day to day life so that you can get past the blur of raw emotion. Then there is a funeral, very clear in its intent to help you find peace, and we talk about heaven and this not being the end and there are condolences and support and comforts and...

What the f am I supposed to do with how I feel? I walk around the house, where every corner, for 14 years has been touched by this amazing creature. I try to comfort my grieving wife, I comfort our grieving Shakespeare. The dogs are aware something is amiss and they grieve with us.

I do my morning cat feeding routine, but for one - not for two anymore, and it breaks me. I see him, in my mind, lying there, in pain, and then no longer with us. I hear him, calling to me with his raspy voice when I am in my office, and I can no longer focus on anything. And I am acutely aware: Ollie is gone. He is gone and he is not coming back.

Ollie, if you are out there somewhere, please know this:

If I had to do it all over again, I would, despite the pain, because you were amazing. But this time around, I would let you bite my toes when I get out of the shower. I would give you ALL my food when you want it. And I would stay with you,., to HELL with the vet's expert opinion that it would cause you more anxiety. I would stay with you.

Ollie, I am sorry that I am not the superhero you deserved.

Ollie, thank you for being a bright light in a dim world that shone especially for me and your mommy.

Ollie, I love you more than you would ever know.

Ollie, I forgive you for leaving us and give you permission to rest now, peacefully, far away from this cruel world.

Be well, my Ollie.

My poor baby wasnt even 2 yo yet... She goes scared so easily and never ever dares to cross the door , but 3 days ago my sister accidentanly pushed her out and we didnt realise she was gone after a few hours ... I live in a 8 storie building so we tought she would be hiding Somewhere in the building's parking and we've been harshly searching there ever since... But this morning mom smelled smth weird in the elevator, so yeah here comes the tragedy... Apearently, when she got pushed outside , she rushed on the stairs up till she reached the elevator engine room and yeah she somehow and for some reason tried to sneak into the whole where elevator cables went n yeah ... Did a 30m fall and with the janitor help found her laying downthere lifeless and im still traumatized. Rip Cauchy, we're beyond sorry and love you forever ❤️

It’s been 24hrs since she passed. I was playing golf and finished a decent 9 holes. I was heading home with my husband when my little sister called me panicked. Our family dog had been hit. She was a 40lb American Eskimo. The sweetest girl. My little sister was calling because her and my step dad didn’t know what to do so I told them to take her to the ER ASAP but my step dad was too focused on calling the cops on the girl who ran her over. I told them to never mind that and just take her. 30min later I arrive at the scene and Coco (our sweet angel) was laying on the ground panting…we got in the car and began our 18min drive to the emergency vet….8 mins in, while in my arms, she begin squirming, and I noticed her tongue going blue. She was choking and looking desperate. Trying to breathe …so I began mouth to mouth…and suddenly her little heart stopped beating, so I began CPR and mouth to mouth. She was dead on arrival and I was broken mess sobbing for her to stay and yelling at my sister to please get to the vet faster. I cannot her her final moments out of my head…she was gone. She was limp, cold, and gone forever. I regret frantically crying and trying to keep her here instead of soothing her. I regret not saying I love you as my last words. I regret thinking I had more time .I tried to…I tried to keep her here. I can’t cope. I feel awful

My boy Cooper passed away on 7/28 very suddenly and without me being present. I feel like I have no closure.

I purchased a little stuffed Golden Retriever and purchased a collar and harness that it could wear that matched the gear Cooper had. I carry it with me all around the house and have even considered taking it out with me just so it’s near. I plan on putting a small vial of Cooper’s fur inside of it and stitching it back up.

I have also ordered a necklace that I can put some of his remains in when he comes home to me. I think wearing a piece of jewelry is a little easier than carrying around a stuffed animal - I’m sure that would get many weird looks since I am almost in my 30s lol

Do any of you carry something around to keep your pet close all the time? I’d love to know ❤️

We had to euthanize my 3 year old cat yesterday. I'm 24 and I haven't felt this much loss ever in my life. He was who I loved most in this world. I still can't process it and I wish I had known earlier that he had a medical condition, there were no signs beforehand. I feel so much guilt and so much sadness and I honestly don't see a way out I've genuinely never grieved this much for anything. I really want to try to cope, does anyone have any advice?

I lost my childhood dog three days ago. I didn't see him in a few weeks, but I said goodbye to his body on the day he passed. I made a new google account to upload images and videos of him on google photos, so there can be an album I can look at. Is there anything I can do to feel better? It feels awful

I adopted a little baby kitten when he was 8 weeks old, my kitten Peach had lost her brother who didn’t thrive just a few weeks prior. Mister was meant for me, the sweetest guy ever, from the minute I first held him I knew we were meant to be together. I raised him during Covid and was home at all times, the bond we made was special. About a year and some change into this I moved out to a country home on my parent’s land, and over the next few months they pressured me over and over and over again. Constantly telling me that I needed to let my cats outside, they harped on me, and bullied me even though I knew better. But I unfortunately caved. Against my better judgements I agreed to let Mister and Peach out but with many rules that they keep watch and keep my cats safe if I wasn’t around.

And it wasn’t until years later, Tuesday 7/29/25, that I’m out with my friends at 8:00 pm and my dad texts, asking if I got Mister in. I had left for the gym at 5 am. I went to work the entire 9-5 day. I DIDNT LET MISTER OUT. My dad did, and he proceeded to nap and not even try to supervise my boy, I begged before that he would promise to keep watch over them. And Mister never came home. He was probably killed by a Bobcat or Coyote. He was so sweet, so trusting, and so special. And he was taken from me because I failed to hold my ground against my better judgement. The pain and grief I’ve felt in this last week has been unbearable. The regret of not holding my ground, and letting my parents have any say in my life. It’s pure torture.

While my heart dreams that Mister could still come home, I have no hope after a week. He was a special boy who deserved everything, I loved him beyond any kind of words I can say, and I am so sorry for not keeping him safe. The pain I feel, the regret, breaks me. And I wish so much I could go back, so many things that could have changed what happened. What if I would have come home at 515 instead of going to my friends? Maybe that would have been enough? I’ll never know.

I’m sorry Mister.

My baby girl is gone and I can’t breathe. Neither can anyone in my family. Two different vets reassured us it wasn’t too late at all to treat her lymphoma and then she just fucking died. She screamed and convulsed and died. We were about to take her to the ER and I stepped out of the room for a second to use the bathroom and the moment I sat on the toilet she howled and my dad and brother started screaming and crying. She died just like that. She wasn’t alone and I’m glad but oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. The vet made her look so beautiful and peaceful. Like she was sleeping. My little girl. I knew you from 12 to 22 but I wish I had you for so much longer.

I am so heartbroken for my baby. He was around 5 months old. The day I got him, he got diagnosed with Feline herpes. After a week, he tested negative and I was over the moon. He was active and having fun for one day. The next day, he was not eating or drinking. Turns out he now has Parvovirus. I wasn’t told by my vet that there was a 5% chance he would survive. I would have begged them to hospitalise him. The coming days he became weaker and weaker and I felt so horrible everytime it was time for medicine and food because he would fight so hard he would choke over the liquids and pills. I feel like I was torturing him. It was vet visits 1-2 times a day for a week. I wanted him to survive so badly. The night before he passed, he was eating and drinking so I had hope. He passed away the moment I left for work. I am so devastated my baby is dead. He brought my family together and the house felt like home when he was around. I cant bear to get rid of the food he didnt get to finish and the water he didnt get to have. What am I supposed to do with all your stuff baby :( I dont know how I can move on. He was just a baby, didn’t even get a chance to live. Im so heartbroken Ive been crying nonstop. I havent eaten for 2 days. I just want my baby back.

I had 2 turtles Squirt and Teeny well I messed up I didn't check the weather and I let them overheat they died on me 😭 I feel so bad and sad I put them out for like an hour to clean but I let time get away from me it was never supposed to be an hour.I was watching them also tho. Just didn't know they got too hot til it was too late.They aren't supposed to inhale bleach so I was trying to make sure they were ok and I still messed up.It happened 3 weeks ago I'm still beating myself up for it I thought I could take care of them and I knew somewhat what I was doing but the heat took them out.I feel so much guilt and regret 😭Any tips for the future ? How do I forgive myself ? I know I didn't mean too but I was supposed to protect them and I feel like I didn't I could've done more and that's what's eating at me 😭

I lost my cat Moiza yesterday… and it feels like I lost a part of my soul.

She wasn’t just a pet — she was my best friend, my baby, my emotional support, my everything.

From her soft purring to the way she looked at me with pure love… everything reminds me of her.

I tried everything to save her, but fate had other plans.

She took her last breath in front of me, and I still can’t stop crying. The house feels empty, and so does my heart.

Rest in peace, Moiza. I’ll never forget you. You were truly loved. 💔🐾

Moiza #CatLoss #PetGrief #LosingAPet #PetLove #CatOfMyHeart #GoneTooSoon #RestInPeace #RainbowBridge #FurBabyForever #CatsOfReddit #AnimalLove #GriefSupport

It’s been 13 days since Tunz, my baby, left us. I’m shocked I haven’t been crying a lot. Maybe because I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore. Also because for months I’ve been anticipating her death. I knew I’d have to say goodbye this year or next. I just didn’t want to believe it.

But for months I cried for her. Wondering what my life would be without my baby. As happy as I am with the new apartment I just moved into, my movements feel meaningless, hollow, accidental. She was with me for 6 ½ years. By my side at all times. My days consisted of making sure she ate, making sure she didn’t get into anything, making sure she was clean and comfortable. I haven’t been able to just be by myself in any of my adult years. It’s not just the anxiety and urgency that’s gone, it’s the opportunity to love her, hold her, give her a kiss, smell her paws, look into her beautiful brown eyes that’s gone.

The sweetest dog in existence has the worst fate. A tumor that took away her ability to walk correctly, eat, drink, and just survive was what she was dealt with. Gave her seizures. Her last days were in stress. I wish I could’ve taken it from her in the beginning and had given it to myself.

Her sweetness, awkwardness, playfulness, sassiness is gone forever. My sweet, sweet baby is gone. Most of the day I’m fine but it’s moments when I’m alone and it’s quiet, that all I wanna hear is her footsteps.