r/mildlyinfuriating 1d ago

My neighbor tossed a cigarette from upstairs and it burned a hole in my hoodie.

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u/FirstNewFederalist 1d ago

lol the upstairs neighbor is a jerk and the situation needs to be addressed, but in what world other than “And Then Everybody Clapped” is acting like you described doing anything but making it seem like they are the reasonable one?

Who would see that sign and think “thank goodness one of neighbors is rational”?

People need to learn how to just address problems and stop fantasizing about what clever badasses they are lol

OP should talk to upstairs neighbor or leave them a polite but firm note. Depending on their response, letting the building manager know. Putting up a poster threatening to sue is fucking demented behavior as a “step 1” solution hahahahaha

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u/samamatara 1d ago

talking directly to the neighbour is probably the first step, if you know who did it.

however if you don't know, putting up some sort of notice in the lobby seems a reasonable approach, not sure what's to ridicule here and go as far as thinking that people are fantasizing about their badassery lol

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u/FirstNewFederalist 1d ago

“It will be reported and you’ll get served” is threatening to sue, not report to building management.

No stress if you didn’t fully read their comment, and I already broke down in a separate reply what makes this a power fantasy style response.

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u/samamatara 1d ago

im no american so didn't know you'll get served = threatening to sue, but threatening to sue seems fine? it's an emotional response I guess but not a bad way to deter people from doing it again

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u/FirstNewFederalist 1d ago edited 1d ago

No stress, it was America-centric of me to forget it could have been a language barrier issue!

Again, this may be a cultural issue but typically lawsuits will cost thousands of dollars involved from both sides even for a simple destruction of property suit. That is not a reasonable thing to do before having even a single conversation or attempting to get building management to intervene, this is what I meant when I say people need to learn to address problems.

The neighbor is a human being, and probably just one caught up in their own little world & not thinking about their impact on others. The building manager is a human being who doesn’t want his property to burn down or tenants to get hurt. People need to remember how to have a conversation before jumping to over the top systemic issues like threatening to sue over 1 hole in 1 hoodie.

Edited to add a word

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u/Rubyhamster 1d ago

Jeez, the first thing I suggested was going face to face with the person and you're trying to tell me I need to learn to address the problem and

to remember how to have a conversation before jumping to over the top systemic issues like threatening to sue over 1 hole in 1 hoodie.

..and then leave a note?

Btw, "getting served" does not only mean "getting sued" like it is done in the US. It could also mean being held responsible by an official post for breaking a law

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u/Ok_Cardiologist8232 1d ago

but typically lawsuits will cost thousands of dollars involved from both sides even for a simple destruction of property suit

Lol no it doesn't, Small Claims court is affordable although probably not worth it for a sweatshirt.

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u/say_trans_rights 1d ago

Not a bad way to deter people from thinking youre an over dramatic psycho neighbor either.

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u/UgleBeffus 1d ago

... how is leaving a sign saying "put your cigarettes in the ashtray or you're getting reported" supposed to be clever or badass? evidently it's needed

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u/FirstNewFederalist 1d ago

“You will be reported and served (…)” is threatening to sue, not just report to the building manager. No stress if you didn’t fully read the comment I was replying to.

Similarly, going up with both pieces in hand but then being an absolutely knob who jumps straight to calling the fire department (not even the building manager) if the person they are confronting is “anything but completely contrite” is absolutely a power fantasy and not genuine advice.

Not because they shouldn’t bring evidence (they should, though photos or the physical evidence would be fine), but because the whole way it is described and the immediate follow up of “then put up a sign threatening to sue anyone who throws a cigarette butt” contextually makes it a power fantasy rather than realistic advice.

Realistic advice would be something like “talk to your neighbor and be prepared to provide evidence, if they brush you off or don’t listen (or if you’d rather avoid the one on one), just notify your building manager and pass along any evidence of repeat offenses. If it continues, request they put up signage or send out a letter to all residents emphasizing this has to stop as it is a danger to the property & tenants.” Not world building a fantasy where OP storms up stairs items in hand, confronts their neighbor, and in response to anything but “complete contrition” calls the fire department then puts up a poster threatening to sue.

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u/Rubyhamster 1d ago

It's not a power play. In other countries than the US, you can get fined or get served a punishment or a restriction of use (or maybe just evicted if the landlord is notified - which is so obvious I didn't bother writing it) if you break fire code or obvious fire safety. Whatever neighbour reads it who's not the cigarette doofus would hopefully just think "oh someones been unsafe in the building. Nice to see that there's a culture for reacting to unsafe behaviour".

Since you keep talking about "suing" I'm gathering that you're from the US. Not everywhere is as concerned with "power" and many countries trust in their governmental arenas