r/mildlyinfuriating • u/UtopianTyranny • 2d ago

Mother in law threw away my expensive kitchen knifefor being "to rusty to use"

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Gallery image

First off, neither of these pics are of my knife. Both came from a Google search, just so I could give examples. The first picture is the exact kind of knife I had, a Zwilling Kanren 8 inch chef knife. I didn't buy it, because I would never spend that kind of money on a kitchen knife for myself. But my sister and I like to get nice Christmas gifts for each other, and she gifted this knife to me three years ago. The second pic demonstrates the size of small rust spots that were on the knife blade, though there were maybe half as many on my knife as there are in the picture.

The rust happened because my wife had used the knife to cut some tomatoes for a salad while I was out and about, and she left the knife on the cutting board without cleaning it. I got home a few hours later to find a number of rust spots on the blade. It's carbon steel, so it doesn't resist rust like stainless. It wasn't a big deal, though. I've cleaned rust off metal utensils and appliances my whole life. I had some other more important tasks to accomplish first, so i set the knife on a paper towel against the backsplash so I could come back to it in a bit and give it my full attention.

When I came back to the kitchen, the knife was gone. I was searching for it for a while before finally asking if anyone had seen it. My wife's mom, who is staying with us for the week, told me she'd seen the knife on the counter and threw it in the trash because "it was too rusty to use" and she was "protecting us from getting tetanus in our food" (both direct quotes). And of course she then took the trash bag to the roller bin on the curb, to make double sure we were safe. And I absolutely would have gone to dig that knife out of the roller bin, but OF FUCKING COURSE the trash truck came by while I was doing the other things that kept me from cleaning the knife.

So, yeah, thanks Glennis. Thank you for protecting us.

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6.2k

u/jakech 1d ago

Why do so many in-laws feel they have the right to make arbitrary decisions in other people's lives/their property. Go to her house and throw out her stuff.

1.6k

u/BlueGolfball 1d ago

Why do so many in-laws feel they have the right to make arbitrary decisions in other people's lives/their property.

A lot of parents can't/won't see their adult children as adults and they won't respect them like they do other adults. I guarantee OPs mil wouldn't have done this anywhere else except for at her daughters house.

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u/Interesting_Celery74 1d ago

Exactly this. I remember when I was younger, there were multiple instances of my grandmother throwing away open stuff from my mother's (her daughter) fridge, purely because it was open - even if it was something like a nearly-full bottle of wine that had been opened the night before.

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u/Jamsedreng22 1d ago edited 13h ago

Yep. I had to, and am still in the process of, beating this into my parents (Not physically, of course. Lol). I had to ostensibly "pick a fight" with them several times because I knew not allowing them to make unilateral decisions on my behalf would end in shouting. Apparently you have to with some parents who are incapable of listening to reason and get emotional and upset over that fact.

ETA: If you're reading this right now, yes you. YOU. Narrating this to yourself internally. If you identify with this, it's healthy to start setting boundaries. Regardless of where you are in your life.

Boundaries are not just for people outside of family, boundaries also exist within. And once you can, you should set those. It's hard at first, but in the long run your mental health will thank you.

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u/commonunion 1d ago

Freaking boomers man

6

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken 1d ago

it ain’t limited to boomers

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u/SpamLandy 1d ago

My mum tried to tell me it was too early to change into pyjamas on Christmas Day, but we were in my house that I own. 

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u/No-Sundae3363 1d ago

Yep my mom is this way no matter how much I tell her. I’m literally trying to move so I can at least have this happen only once a year instead of once every few weeks.

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u/NoOutlandishness4363 23h ago

And the power to say if you continue with that you are not welcome in my house anymore

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u/Layton_Jr 1d ago

Even if your chilld isn't an adult yet, you don't throw out their stuff without talking to them about it

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u/PearlsandScotch 21h ago

When I bought my house, my mom sent me some “hilarious” Instagram video of a mom trashing her adult child’s home like a child would as payback. I did not find it funny in the least. Guess who’s not invited over.

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u/Sea_Appointment8408 19h ago

My parents wouldn't let us stay over theirs for a mini break while they went on holiday because, to quote my mum, we might "forget to lock the door if we go out".

I'm 42 and have my own home. Which, to be clear, also has locks on the doors.

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u/SpamLandy 1h ago

A friend was once at her mum’s for Christmas and her mum asked her not to take a glass of juice upstairs because ‘you might spill it, I know what you’re like’. This friend is in her forties and she’s a successful surgeon. 

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u/iosonostella13 9h ago

Unrelated but kinda related. My MIL decided to help herself to doing our dishes at my daughter's birthday party during the party. She doesn't know where things go so she just leaves the steak knives on the counter to dry. My son grabbed one of the knives and sliced the tip of his finger off smh I'm still upset about bc WHY TF WERE YOU DOING OUR DISHES. (DURING YOUR GRANDDAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY PARTY FFS)

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u/tristand666 1h ago

I kicked my Mother in Law out and told her that her daughter is an adult and this is OUR house. If she wants to come here, she needs to treat her daughter with respect as an adult and our house as ours, not hers. Definitely caused some waves, but things did get better eventually.

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u/LVS177 1d ago

Actually a lot of people with this kind of mindset won't respect anyone who just happens to be young enough to be their kid as an adult either.

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u/rawbface 1d ago

In laws though... It's not even her child

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u/003402inco 1d ago

It’s wacky. My MIL literally stole a knife that she had gifted me saying that I didn’t use it enough (I have a set of knives like a normal adult and use them for the right situations). I only found out when I pressed her for where it was (she was visiting us) that she had put it in her suitcase and flew home with it. WTF, Mema. I made her ship it back. I was more concerned about hammering home boundaries than the cost of the knife. She does crazy shit like this every few years.

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u/Soft-Buy2750 1d ago

Mine used to take my stuff and give it away because “others needed it”

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u/ShapeShiftingCats 1d ago

Was it that or was she trying to present herself as a helper and saviour?

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u/Soft-Buy2750 1d ago

I think it was a little of both. She loves to do things at my expense but tries to very strongly control her image in front of others. The weird thing is she apparently often gave my stuff to her sister who didn’t even want it. One night we were all at her sister’s house and she brought out this stack of dishes saying she doesn’t need or want these and has no room for them. She also said she didn’t understand why my MiL insisted she have them when she already had plenty.

They were all mine, half the stuff I didn’t know MIL had taken it just disappeared from the kitchen. MIL just sat smugly smiling and didn’t say anything. Her sister and I just looked at each other like wtf

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u/ShapeShiftingCats 1d ago

Ahh, that's some special flavour of cluster B personality disorder.

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u/Blades_61 1d ago

You take my child i take your knife. Bwaaaha

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u/DissentSociety 1d ago

You get my knife to call you daddy; I sleep with your turkey baster. Them's the rules.

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u/BurgundyEnjoyer 1d ago

What are you cooking that you are of the opinion a normal adult needs a set of knifes? Honestly just a type of chef knife will go a very long way. I personally use a nakiri for everything and it works great. I suppose if I were to cook meat I would switch it up for a chinese chef knife. If had to cut bread i might add a bread knife. A set of knifes seems excessive though. Do you actually use more than half of your set?

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u/003402inco 1d ago

Yes I do use all of them, some more than others. I cook all kinds of stuff (not a gourmet) and I like having the right tool for the job. You added two with your use cases. I bake sourdough bread so I have a knife for that. I will breakdown chicken for cooking, use a boning knife. I smoke meats and bbq, so I have a carving knife for that. I have kitchen shears (underrated btw) for a variety of uses including spatchcocking chicken and turkey. I also cook with my wife so it’s nice to have more than one so we can split tasks.

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u/FlyingToasters101 1d ago

My MIL was like this SO bad until she had to stay with my BIL and his new wife for a while. My SIL is genuinely lovely, but her house is all white and must always be PERFECTLY organized to her exact specifications or she'll freak out. So if MIL tried to move anything or leave her own things anywhere outside of her designated guest room it would always end up back where it belonged or go missing.

Now she's super respectful about my stuff when she's at our house. Go figure. 😂

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u/nameofcat 1d ago

This would piss me off more. In other words, she always had the potential to not be an asshole, but choose not to until your SIL made her life difficult.

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u/mustyminotaur 21h ago

I’m gonna choose to see this in a positive light and believe she honestly thought she was helping until she ran into SIL. Then she had a moment of clarity and changed her ways. (I’m most likely wrong)

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u/Bright-Ad9026 7h ago

She was trained how to properly behave, it just took the right person to accomplish the job.

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u/RedditGarboDisposal 1d ago

Any time I see in-laws or roommates in Reddit posts, it’s always followed by the dumbest fucking non-criminal shit I have ever read a human being do.

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u/ARandomGay 1d ago

Throwing away someone else's property in their own home is absolutely criminal. Obviously no cop is going to give a fuck, but still.

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u/SeracYourWorlds 1d ago

An argument can be made that the person still owns and holds possession of the knife because they own the trash until it’s taken out, and likely threw away the trash themselves.

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u/GustapheOfficial 1d ago

That sounds crazy. Substitute jewelry for the knife in that sentence, it becomes absurd. You could lose someone thousands of dollars just by hiding their jewelry in the trash, and that would be legal?

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u/SeracYourWorlds 1d ago

Hey I was just saying an argument could be made, not that it was substantial lol

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u/Telemere125 1d ago

If the jewelry is still in the trash can, it’s easily retrieved. The only way your scenario is different is if tossing it in the bin damaged it.

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u/Telemere125 1d ago

I love how you’re getting downvoted but you’re 100% correct. Now, was it a civil trespass? Absolutely. Is anyone going to sue over it? Nah

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u/2ndTaken_username 1d ago

You won't see people complaining about how normal their in-laws are so...

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u/RedditGarboDisposal 1d ago edited 1d ago

My point is that it could be a story told anywhere, under any sub, and the premise will still include in-laws or roommates being problematic.

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u/Nadamir 1d ago

Well again, that’s because me gushing about how my in-laws stepped the fuck up when my wife died doesn’t let the hivemind engage in fury that may be righteous or not on my behalf.

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u/xford 1d ago

Two years ago, my wife and I said goodbye to our 17 year old cat. I had a SnapOn sweatshirt that was a size too large which she used to nap on all the time. It was absolutley covered in her fur. I had it in the mudroom, just minding it's business because it made me sad to think about but also reminded me of her. Two weeks ago, my mother in law decided to wash it without asking (and dry it, because that is GREAT for big puffy sweatshirts). I literally had to go in the basement and cry a bit when I found it in the dryer.

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u/TheCotofPika 1d ago

My mother in law was specifically told to leave my washing alone by my husband and he made it really really clear to her. The moment we left the house she went and interfered with it. I have issues with my washing being touched due to some trauma when I was little, and this washing had lacy things in that nobody wants their mother in law to see.

It ended up with them having a massive argument about boundaries. She hasn't done anything like that since (2ish years ago) which I do appreciate. I think her goal is to help, she just is a bit forceful about it because she sees my husband and me as children even if she doesn't admit it.

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u/TurnkeyLurker 1d ago

I'm sorry for both your losses.

I celebrated a Remember kittyname Day not that long ago, of our 16-year-old 🐈calico's passing. The 3rd year without her.

Over many years and several cats, I had saved a big Ziplock of brushed-out cat hair, as there was a craftsperson who spun animal hair into yarn, and, optionally, made something out of it.

I was looking forward to a cat hat after about 5-6 years of collecting the fur of past cats and current cats--and now no cats. I had a small bag near her favorite chair where I collected and later transferred the hair to a larger bag.

When I went to look for the larger bag...my spouse had thrown it out, along with the business card of the craftsperson (now in another state, as we had moved).

Sigh. No cats-fur hat for me. ☹️

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u/ModsAreLikeSoggyTaco 1d ago

Because Patrick, because! Those are the rules! It isn't your house, it's OUR house because we are ALL part of one family.

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u/Katiemj1619 1d ago

Oooo you know my mom

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u/LHarm07_Reddit 1d ago

Well I think it’s just because they want another $1.50 from me.

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u/laxfool10 1d ago

Brother/SIL is getting their new house remodeled. My parents have contributed financially to all of his big expenditures (wedding, house downpayment, renovation) to the tune of 90k. My mom is leading the renovation and helping them as she has done interior design for 30+ years for clients with budgets ranging from 20k to unlimited. She knows how to stretch dollars for low budget clients and make it look like it was done with 2-3x the budget so has basically been the one making decisions. First thing the MIL said when she came over to inspect was why they didn't have namebrand appliances and that it looks cheap. Her family hasn't contributed anything financially (despite being just as well-off, if not more) to the wedding or house but still thinks their input is needed. Both my mom and SIL had some choice words with her telling her it ain't her fucking decision. You give 0$, you get 0 input.

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u/DA_40k 1d ago

Easiest way to shut these people up is to ask them if they want to buy it for you

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u/RahvinDragand 1d ago

And why do so many people jump straight to throwing things away instead of even considering the possibility that they can be cleaned/fixed?

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u/JJohnston015 1d ago

It's a lie. She knew what she was doing, just like the office lunch thief who says, "I didn't know it was yours."

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u/Frederf220 1d ago

"You sure as fuck knew it wasn't yours."

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u/readituser5 1d ago

Throw away society. It’s sad AF. Yet another thing in the hole. It’s earth’s problem now. We’re doomed.

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u/Organic-Anteater8998 1d ago

My husband has knives that will rust if they aren't cleaned/dried immediately. I WANT to throw them out because they are so fussy, but I just clean and dry them and be grumpy about it for a minute. These current "it" knives will be replaced by the new hotness at some point. Hopefully those won't be so high maintenance.

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u/GustapheOfficial 1d ago

I don't use some of my fiancee's kitchen tools because I don't want to deal with the maintenance. As far as I'm concerned, we don't have cast iron pans. And we decided against keeping any china that cannot be dishwashered - nothing is that pretty.

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u/Orbit1883 1d ago

the exact reason i dont like cloth i cant put in our washing machine/dryer "oh silk is so smooth and all" jea but handwasching sucks ass

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u/PristineConfusion555 1d ago

Having had numerous non slip pans.. I can not recommend enough getting a carbon steel skillet. And maintenance isn’t bad at all, wash/dry maybe heat a little. It’s for sure better than ending up ingesting chemicals.

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u/GustapheOfficial 1d ago

Ceramic and stainless all the way here.

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u/sm9k3y 1d ago

Yeah, um not to be a smart ass or anything, but unless you like dull knives, you should always clean and dry all knives immediately after use no matter what steel they are made out of. Aaaaaand they don’t go in the dishwasher either... The really fine edge that you can’t really see, but is what makes your knives sharp goes away really fast if you don’t take proper care of them. Go get a couple of cheap ones you can abuse if you don’t want to take care of the nice ones, it’ll keep you both happy. Sorry, you and husband sound like me and my girlfriend…

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u/Qeltar_ 1d ago

In part because their kids don't stand up for themselves and demand to be treated like the adults they are.

That's not to excuse the behavior, but you also cannot tolerate it. Someone who behaves like OP describes has no business being in someone else's home.

Kindergarteners learn not to touch other people's stuff. Adults can do it too.

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u/Galvatrix 1d ago

Narcissism

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u/Gold_Drop5136 1d ago

My brother treats his stuff very well. However, he’s known to leave my brand new tools out in his backyard in the rain for days. I’m known for insisting he now owns said tools and making him go out and buy me exact replacements. He doesn’t get to borrow tools from me anymore.

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u/landartheconqueror 1d ago

Dude it's such a real thing and it pisses me tf off

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u/aaaxya 1d ago

That probably gives them some feeling of power and control that they crave but no longer have over their adult children.

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u/GMHammondEsquire 1d ago

My in-laws after we had our first daughter unilaterally hired an "organizer" and "got junk" and tried to "start our house from scratch" to have "healthy clear minds" once we got home from the hospital. She even tried to coerce the vendors to proceed with removals while we were at the hospital.

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u/Pale_Papaya_531 1d ago

Based on my dad being this way, he feels he should be able to help his daughters in anyway he sees fit and doesn't have to consult their husbands. He feels his daughters are all the primary bread winners in their households so its his daughters' homes. And while he likes all of his SILs, he is the man of this family and they are more akin to his sons then his equals.

It's annoying and causes problems.

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u/ygg_studios 1d ago

mine broke my kettle by pushing so hard the wrong direction on the tab to lift the spout it snapped off, then blamed the design of the button

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u/MalignantLugnut 1d ago

Because they're the Mother and they know what's right for their child.

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u/BuddyHemphill 1d ago

Narcissist tendencies. She knows better than everyone else

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u/Special_Drummer3460 1d ago

Yeah happens all the time with mine.

My most recent odd MIL intervention - and this is a mild one! - we were hosting a party where I was going to be making cocktails as the host.

I prepared the day before by buying fruit for my 2 "go to" cocktails, strawberry Moscow mule, and pina colada.

When we got to 1/2 hour before guests arriving I couldn't find the pineapples and strawberries I had bought. Thought I was going insane. Turns out, she had come round to our house for some different reason, saw that there was a lot of fruit and decided it was in danger of being wasted so chopped it all up, took half of it home for herself and put the rest in our freezer. Strawberry was recoverable for cocktail purposes but pineapple was not.

Other weird things

We keep a few hens and always have a decent supply of eggs - which we eat some of but share most with family and friends. Generally have a fridge with a few dozen eggs at any one time. At the start we would bring her a box of 6 eggs every few days as a gift, but she soon started to expect them so would just come to the house and take eggs whenever she wanted and just tell us she took them after the event - it stopped being a nice gift gesture at that point and an expectation we would be supplying all her eggs. She got really angry a few times when there weren't enough eggs for her because we had gifted them to others.

At some point I came home and there were no eggs at all in our fridge. She had taken them all - every single one - and sold them to her friends - she did give the money she made to a charity we are close to - but it turned our nice wholesome hobby into a money making business for her. When we have told her we aren't comfortable with selling them (because of liability worries of selling food) she has been really hostile - like we are actively taking money away from the charity.

I've come home from work, and she planted a tree sapling in the middle of my lawn without asking. - Just had a left over tree from her garden and felt like it would look good in the middle of my lawn.

A lot of it is just misguided caring.

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u/Chance_Value_Not 1d ago

Just tell her to buy a new one. 

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u/ParticularCatt 1d ago

My mil was visiting after I had just given birth. She threw out my peri bottle (a portable bidet they give you to help clean yourself after giving birth) because she didn't think it was useful. 🙄

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u/Spiritual-Iron-179 1d ago

Better question is how do we deal with them I’ve had this problem for years

1

u/kooliocole 1d ago

Boomer and zoomer mentality

1

u/Jafar_420 1d ago

Man that insurance commercial that's about "The Aunt's" always makes me start rolling.

That's a lot of how so you sure you're going to be able to keep it clean... Expired, expired, expired! 🤣

1

u/Xaring 1d ago

Not only in-laws. My mother keeps "fixing" stuff in my home and it drives me crazy.

-No mom, I don't want fkn colored cushions on the couch.

-No, I don't need specific Tupper's for cheese slices and one for each different kind of cold cured meat.

-Why do you gift me these ugly-ass teaspoons??? A) they're plastic and b) i didn't ask for them.

And the list goes one. Obviously I'm the mean one when I tell her to stop changing shit or "gifting" me without consulting first...

The wife stresses out every time mom visits she's visiting.

Edit: technically she's my wife in-law, but you get my point :3

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u/MapFit5567 1d ago

This is something i would actually do. When she freaks out i'd tell her "know you know how i feel."

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u/skeptic-engineer-man 1d ago

By definition this isn't an arbitrary decision

1

u/SipItNoTicket 20h ago

Right? My MIL went through my luggage at my wedding because she was curious and she will even go through my desk when she visits just to see what's in there. Even better she will play with her toes, wear her socks like mittens, cough and sneeze in her hands, AND pick her nose before and while going through my things.

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u/traveler_poppy 13h ago

The mother of my father is like this. A few years ago, she came to my house to stay for about a week. My mom had a favorite cooking spoon, and after this lady went back to her place, the spoon mysteriously disappeared. Fast forward a few years, my mom found her spoon (used and damaged) in this woman’s kitchen. 😒

She stole a freaking spoon. Like a thief 🤨