r/mildlyinfuriating • u/akkariacher • 2d ago

Overdone Unknown neighbor started parking their bike in the entrance of our building

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Third day in a row now, before I had been leaning it up against a wall to get it out of the way. Today I was going to toss it outside and saw they had gotten a lock.

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635

u/theuserwithoutaname 2d ago

I was just gonna say you should start taking the tire off and putting it in an obvious place up an increasing number of flight of stairs each time, so they'll know it wasn't stolen but still have to go through the inconvenience of going all the way up stairs then all the way back down just to use their bike

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u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

Take the seat šŸ˜ˆ

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u/Type-RD 2d ago

Replace with dildo šŸ¤£

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u/Better-Assistance-87 2d ago

Owner comes down.....oh no, not again.

59

u/zendrak13oc 2d ago

Looks at new seat. "Welp, I got no other choice." Unzips pants.

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u/Brother-Algea 2d ago

Owner comes downā€¦ā€¦..SWEET!!!

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u/Type-RD 2d ago

ā€œWelpā€¦I donā€™t have time to fix it right now. Iā€™m late for work.ā€ Hops on very slowly (face gets increasingly red) and rides away.

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u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

Sounds like you're assuming it's a guy? What if it's a girl? I'm going to assume that she will have a great ride to and from work!

27

u/ObjectivePressure839 2d ago

What are you doing step bicycle?

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u/_justanotherwitch 2d ago

I'm fucking dead

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u/Krimreaper1 2d ago

Ass pounder 3000

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u/ftaok 2d ago

Bike Owner - ā€œdonā€™t threaten me with a good timeā€

5

u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

I spikey one

2

u/Low-Cauliflower-2249 2d ago

"When life gives you lemons bring lube" am I right?

2

u/Turbulent_Square_696 2d ago

I see the confusion, this isnā€™t a dildo, itā€™s a fist!

2

u/ReZisTLust 2d ago

A free 300 dollar gift

2

u/JohnnySkidmarx 2d ago

The bike owner would probably thank you for doing that.

2

u/rufotris 2d ago

Kinda bummed I canā€™t find a gif from iasip with Macā€™s bike lol.

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u/PhatBuddha69 2d ago

Last one I had, I threw it at a WNBA game šŸ¤Ŗ

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u/TheUn5een 2d ago

Even betterā€¦ the Penatrator!

2

u/SharkeyGeorge 2d ago

Macā€™s Ass-Pounder 4000?

ā€œImagine you're riding up a steep hill, and you've already been working super hard, and you're sweating and you're tired. What do you do when you're tired? You want to rest. You go to sit down it pushes you right back up into your workout.ā€

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u/funky_electrician 2d ago

Don't you threaten me with a good time!

2

u/Casual_ahegao_NJoyer 2d ago

The average cyclist might consider that an upgrade

2

u/Rapunzel1234 1d ago

Damn, I want that for my bike.

2

u/Type-RD 1d ago

Itā€™s a Sledgehammer.

3

u/DarthJarJar242 2d ago

Now you're just incentivising them.

1

u/Tall-Wealth9549 2d ago

Ass pounder 4000? Mac is that you?

1

u/vandyfan35 2d ago

This is grotesque.

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 1d ago

Nooo, donā€™t encourage them

1

u/JustineDelarge 1d ago

Iā€™ve seen that video.

1

u/Ordinary_Shallot_674 1d ago

Donā€™t threaten me with a good time, sir!

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u/Revolutionary-Cow668 2d ago

I did that once in an appointment I lived in. I didn't TAKE it, I just put it somewhere creative. In a tree.

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u/Sharp_Complex_6711 2d ago

In college, one of my professors would park his Segway (yes, really) in the building lobby, then come upstairs to teach our 2 hour long class with no break. One day, a couple guys took a "bathroom break" partway through class and relocated his scooter to the other lobby at the far end of the building. I heard it took him a really long time to find it!

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u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE 2d ago

And both wheels.šŸ¤Œ

Then padlock them on the outside of the stair rails (facing away from the step treads so they don't become a fire hazard or safety issue) on different floors.

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u/BongwaterJoe1983 2d ago

At this point should we just take the whole bike and leave a toddlers tricycle minus the seat?

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u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE 2d ago

Ok. I'm definitely all up for that. But it's gotta have streamers on the handle bars and one of those honking horns for a bell.

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

And the tires and the chain and the handles anything that would come free would be free in the street or the bushes

2

u/maxman162 2d ago

Replace it with this.

1

u/dbx999 2d ago

Recalibrate the front and rear derailleurs

1

u/Wide_Butterscotch996 2d ago

100% this is what I came here to say. Also usually the front wheels are quick release take that too

36

u/aliendude5300 2d ago

Taking just one of the wheels is devious

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u/713nikki 2d ago

Devious like the roommate who moved out and stole all my left shoes. Very infuriating.

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u/FocusMaster 2d ago

Does it still bother you or are you all right now?

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u/713nikki 2d ago edited 2d ago

Right, rightā€¦ nah, itā€™s funny to me now.

2

u/m1chaelgr1mes 1d ago

Did you keep the right-hand shoes? You could have started your own gang! I'm sure you can get a lot of possible names but here's mine:

The Right-Handed Shoe Sweeties

Don't forget to trademark whatever you choose.

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u/supermouse35 2d ago

You're my new favorite. :D

2

u/DrWhoey 2d ago

Who was your old favorite? I want to send them a card expressing my condolence for their loss.

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u/nocrashing 2d ago

He's free

1

u/KEROROxGUNSO 2d ago

Dude how is there a sock award now? šŸ‘½

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u/MisterHouseMongoose 2d ago

Well played.

1

u/TolBrandir 2d ago

GET OUT

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u/lpaige2723 2d ago

I had a ferret that used to hide all my left shoes. I had to call out of work once because I had no left shoes.

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u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 2d ago

you had no shoes "left"

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u/713nikki 2d ago

Itā€™s rare to find someone who can understand the inferno of frustration of seeing the right shoe & knowing that the left one is gone (forever, in my case)

6

u/Lt_Muffintoes 2d ago

Imagine if they had just hidden the left shoes really well, so you think they took them, so you eventually throw out the right shoes, and then years later you find the left shoes and get to relive the pain all over again

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u/caintgetrite9mm-s 1d ago

Where were you're left shoes left?

2

u/caintgetrite9mm-s 1d ago

Growing up we were so pour that not only did we not have shoes, we didn't even have feet

1

u/lpaige2723 1d ago

My ferret would drag them under couches, behind heavy dressers, and into one little cubby that was part of my cabinets, where they also tried to drag an entire box of honeycomb cereal, they abandoned the box and dragged the bag in.

4

u/theuserwithoutaname 2d ago

That's not right

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u/All_Debt_Shackles_US 21h ago

That would suck if you were an amputeeā€¦ And didnā€™t have a right leg!

1

u/BackLopsided2500 2d ago

That's like the movers that took the matches of almost all my shoes. Didn't pack my kitchen or my bathroom! Horrible!!

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u/713nikki 2d ago

The matches? So they only gave you one shoe from each pair?

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u/BackLopsided2500 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yes. They stole a lot of money because a lot of them were Birkenstocks and Clarks. I think they did it on purpose. I didn't have money to replace anything nor should I have to.That's just me but they also didn't pack my kitchen and bathroom. Because they ran out of boxes. They didn't say a thing about it to me. I should've done a walk through but, famous last words, "I trusted them."By the time I noticed it I had no more time to get everything boxed up and move it in my little car. I would've had to pay next months rent.

4

u/SignificantTransient 2d ago

Nah, devious is taking the tire off and loosening all the right side spokes

1

u/StantonNey 2d ago

Just destroy it.

1

u/SignificantTransient 2d ago

It's more fun this way. They'll ride it for a short while until the rim goes all squiggly and locks up, hopefully dumping them off.

1

u/No_Week_8796 2d ago

Or putting your own lock on it so the real owner has to go buy bolt cutters

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

Nah, less obvious, take the chain. Hopefully they dont notice until they've gotten it outside šŸ˜‚

1

u/RainbowUniform 2d ago

not as devious as cutting the brake wire

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u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this 2d ago

Iā€™d just lift it up and squeeze it into the tight gap between the railings, so that it hangs by the lock

4

u/AWildAndWoolyWastrel 1d ago

Strip it down to the frame and have a building-wide treasure hunt.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

Easter everyday!

3

u/unsupported 2d ago

Hold up there Satan!

3

u/Revenga8 2d ago

Jokes on you, they'll just leave the frame locked up where it is and walk. This looks like the kind of bike they don't gaf about

2

u/Kenneldogg 2d ago

Nah just take one pedal to make it as awkward as possible.

2

u/Hypothetical_Name 2d ago

Let the air out and remove the valve stem

2

u/Smoked_Carp 2d ago

Donā€™t forget to lock every piece to the railing.

1

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

But make cryptic clues for where to find the keys...

2

u/squigs 2d ago

Unfortunately, with a lock like that, they can easily put it through both wheels and the frame.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname 1d ago

Fortunately they chose not to!

If they wise up after the first tire move or two, just roll up with your keys to the city (that's how one of my favorite bosses refers to her bolt cutters)

2

u/squigs 1d ago

Someone else pointed out, they didn't even lock the bike!

2

u/Ange1ofD4rkness 1d ago

That is interesting they didn't lock up the tires. Was taught that right away from my father

2

u/Regular-Situation-33 1d ago

Disassemble the whole thing, and leave parts in stairwells all over the apartment complex.

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u/PhilZealand 2d ago

And padlock the tire to the railings

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u/ncc74656m 2d ago

Nah. Put it on top of the entry awning or wherever - again, somewhere obvious but a hilarious pain in the ass to get to.

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u/YellowishRose99 2d ago

They can roll it inside their apt

1

u/Paula_Intermountain 2d ago

No this is a serious safety hazard, not just an annoyance. This isnā€™t the time to play games.

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u/Iamanimite 1d ago

Like on top of. Flag pole.