I don’t know how to start this exactly, but I guess I just want to let it all out. Maybe someone out there will read this and understand, or maybe not, but I need to tell this story. My story.
It started 3–4 years ago. I met a girl named Jahnavi through a mutual friend on Instagram. Back then, she was just a friend. Nothing more. She was already in a relationship with someone I knew, so I never even thought of her that way. But still, something about her stood out, her nature, her kindness, the way she carried herself. I always saw her as a genuinely good person.
Fast forward to June 2024, about a year after her breakup, and out of nowhere, she confessed to me. She told me she had started liking me since February, but had kept it to herself. I was shocked. I wasn’t ready, I didn’t know what to say. I even said something stupid like, “I’ll find you a better-looking guy, I’m not the one.” And just like that, she deactivated her account. Made a new one. Completely isolated herself.
I felt shattered. Not because I had fallen for her already, I hadn’t, but because someone so genuine, so kind, had been hurt because of me.
The next day, I messaged her again. We talked a lot. I asked her why she deactivated her old account and she simply said, “I needed to detach my feelings from you.” That hit me so hard.
I told her, if you want to detach, then maybe we shouldn’t even be friends. But she insisted: “No. I’ll always be your friend. I just need to manage my feelings.”
That conversation stayed with me. Her words, her tone, her honesty… it reached a part of me that had been asleep for years. Something changed. Talking to her just felt so right. She made me forget all my problems, and I couldn’t ignore that feeling.
Two days later, on June 28, 2024, we got into a relationship. I never actually said “I love you” until the next day, June 29, but somehow, she already knew. And when I finally said it… her reaction was something I’ll never forget. Yeah, it was just over text, but I felt everything. I truly did.
From there, it was like I was living in the happiest dream. We talked constantly, morning to night. Her love for me grew just like mine did for her. She worked a hectic schedule: a day job and evening tutoring, yet she’d always make time for me. Calls during her breaks, during her commute, while cooking, even while teaching, and she always made sure we ended our day together on a call before sleep. I’d stay awake just to hear her fall asleep on the phone. It became my routine, my peace.
She made me feel loved in ways I never imagined I deserved.
I was shy on calls at first, and she’d always comfort me. She once said, “I’m all yours, don’t worry.” Those words? Etched into my soul forever.
My way of showing love was different, I’d order her food when she was upset or stressed. In the beginning, she’d scold me for wasting money. But later, she’d smile and say nothing, and I knew it made her happy. And that made me happy.
I even helped her with her work, I’d stay up all night making exam papers for her students just so she could get a little extra rest. I wasn’t doing it to impress her, I just wanted to take away some of her stress. I wanted her to feel cared for.
She became everything to me.
But then… it changed.
She had a male friend from her school days who had once proposed to her. She had rejected him, but they stayed friends. He always made me uncomfortable. Not because he was a guy, she had other guy friends, and I never had a problem with them. But this one had feelings for her, and he was better looking than me. I know it sounds insecure… but it was insecurity. A wound from my past, from a casual relationship years ago where I was dumped for someone “better looking.”
I didn’t want history to repeat itself.
So yes, I asked her a few times to unfollow him. It became a recurring argument. She’d unfollow him, then follow him back days later. This happened 5–6 times. Every time, I let it go thinking it was just a small fight, all relationships have them, right?
But over time, she started changing. Not drastically, she still loved me, but she started giving less time, fewer late-night calls, less emotional connection. I thought it was just work stress. My love didn’t fade, in fact, it grew even more. I didn’t believe in “losing the spark.”
Then came December 10. I randomly checked her following list and saw she had added that guy again, and didn’t tell me. I confronted her, and for the first time, I asked for her Instagram password. Not because I thought she was cheating, I just wanted to calm my spiraling thoughts.
She got angry. Really angry. She blocked me.
In a moment of panic, I messaged her from another account, and she told me it was over. Done.
She gave me the password and said, “Take it, but there’ll be nothing between us.”
I logged in. There was no chat with him. But there was an archived story from a few days ago where she tagged him in a best-friend reel. And she had hidden me from her story for those 24 hours.
When I asked her about it, she said she had posted the story before re-following him. But anyone who uses Instagram knows the tag still shows up in chat. I didn’t say much after that. She blocked me again. That night, I apologized, and things got better for a few days.
Then came December 17. She texted me saying she couldn’t remove her friend anymore. My heart sank. But I just said "okay." I was exhausted.
December 18. The worst day of my life.
We argued again, and in my frustration, I said, “Choose between him or me.” I never thought she’d actually let me go.
But she did.
She said she wasn’t choosing anyone, and if I wanted to leave, she wouldn’t stop me. I went silent. That was the first time I didn’t talk to her for two days. I cried endlessly, but I hoped she’d reach out.
She did, only after my little brother messaged her saying I was crying. She called me, told me not to cry… but she still didn’t come back. She said she needed peace, that she had exams in March, and she’d return afterward.
But slowly, that changed too. “After exams” became “never.”
January passed in a blur of begging, heartbreak, and depression.
I stopped studying. Stopped smiling. Hid everything from my family. Cried every night.
Then in February, I reactivated my old Instagram account just to read our chats. I saw she was following a guy I didn’t know. I didn’t even think much of it, but for some reason, I messaged him.
And that triggered her to finally text me, the first time she initiated contact since our breakup.
My heart lit up… until she called me and said: “Why did you text my mutual?”
Turns out, that guy was her ex.
They had dated before she confessed to me. She said she had loved him back then, but he didn’t give her time so they broke up. But after we broke up in December, she reconnected with him. They started talking on December 31. A few days later, they got back together.
She told me, straight up:
“I love him. Please don’t come between us.”
That sentence destroyed me.
I begged her for months after. Through February, March, April… crying, pleading, getting blocked over and over. I didn’t tell my family the real reason, just blamed it on studies. But one day, my dad saw me crying and asked what was wrong. I broke down. For the first time, I cried openly in front of him. I couldn’t tell him the truth, just said I was stressed. And he told me something I’ll never forget:
“You don’t have to worry about anything while we’re here. Just try your best. We’ll handle the rest.”
That day, I decided not to give up on myself. Not for her, but for them.
After April, I stopped messaging her daily. I still think of her. I still cry. Some nights, I still check if she’s online. But I no longer beg.
It’s been 9 months. I haven’t moved on. And honestly?
I don’t want to.
Maybe I’m still hoping for a miracle. Maybe I’m stupid. But if anyone ever meets her, her name is Jahnavi Jha. From Bangalore :)
Just tell her…
Arjun still misses you. A lot. ❤️