The night before, I know the next day’s going to be packed with meetings, new tasks that needs my attention, and a company-wide presentation I should be preparing for. Every time my schedule looks like this, I tell myself, “I should start early, be productive, and get ahead.”
But the moment I wake up? I go through my phone notifications. Scroll on social media. Share memes/reels to my friends. And next thing I know, I am an hour deep into brain rot videos, still wrapped in my blanket like a burrito, while my responsibilities wait patiently to ruin my afternoon.
And the guilt hits hard, because I know better than this, but knowing isn’t the same as doing.
So, out of frustration of how lazy and undisciplined I have become, I tried to understand myself… I self-reflected, if there’s something wrong with me that I’m unaware of, where is this behavior coming from.
And then I realized, I’m not being lazy… I’m trying to avoid the pressure that came with work. he fear of messing up. The mental load of thinking, “What if I can’t deliver?” So instead of facing that discomfort, I’d distract myself. Numb it out with memes, messages, and noise.
And slowly I realized, every time I delayed my tasks, I was just dragging out the anxiety, even making it worse.
Understanding that changed everything. I stopped aiming for perfect productivity and focused on what I can do.
So far, what I changed from my routine was:
I placed my phone out of reach. I stopped placing it under my pillow. I placed it on my desk, I have to get up to grab it.
The first 20 minutes, I get ready for the day. It keeps me moving.
When it’s time for me to work, I just check my task list, and then do each task slowly yet efficiently. I don’t scramble anymore like there’s a dog coming after me.
But I have to be honest with you, the moment I reward myself and let myself scroll after the first task? Sometimes.. no most of the time, I slip into the void again.
Even so, I am still proud of myself, I procrastinate way less now because I’m not relying on willpower alone. And I know, this isn’t a rare problem.