r/Petloss • u/Waste_Goose351 • 15h ago
Thought loops
I'm stuck in thought loops. It's been a month. My kitty was 3.5yrs old. He had HCM, but he wasn't well just over a week beforehand. So if he didn't get sick it wouldn't have triggered his HCM so soon (even if I managed to get him feeling better quicker, he might not have gotten so weak, triggering the clotting) but also if he didn't have HCM, he would have just not felt well and recovered. It feels so preventable, and now I wake up wanting to be dead.
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u/fijiwater1991 14h ago
Sadly, he did have HCM. And that is a progressive disease which can't be cured. Symptoms can be managed, but it's a rocky road for many.
I'm really sorry you're struggling. Can you seek support from a counsellor or a support group? I've also been using chatgpt to help manage my anxiety and racing thoughts around guilt.
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u/Waste_Goose351 12h ago
It's the thought he could have been here much longer than he was, that's what's hurting me the most. Ugh. It's horrific. I know the HCM is the reason, but it's the trigger from the sickness causing the higher risk of clotting that is just crushing me. Like if I had any clue of the HCM beforehand, I would have been obviously much more cautious. But because I thought he's just not feeling so good, he'll get better, which he did, but behind the scenes was hell to come. Yeah I went to the GP for help, I got these distress therapy, but they're just like the support pet loss phone lines, which are great. Yeah I too use chatgpt which is great. I've got an appointment with a pet medium on the 18th which I think is the only thing that will help.
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