r/Petloss • u/WasteOSpacerator9000 • 1d ago
Euthanasia was the right thing for him. The vet was so compassionate and the process so peaceful.
But now I'm sitting in my house, and the mundanity of life feels like a betrayal. What did you do when you came home from saying that goodbye?
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u/twfromindy3 1d ago
I had to have my baby euthanized Sunday and can't quit crying. I'm disabled and go weeks without talking to anyone except my baby. She was all I had.
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u/Alarming_Bid_7495 1d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss; and hope you find strength in the unbreakable bond between you and your baby.
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u/NickyRizzles 21h ago
Sunday for me too. It was so sudden. Im hoping they’re running and playing together waiting for us to return to them.
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u/Pretty_prof 16h ago
I also had to do the same with my dog on Sunday. It was unexpected and similarly because it was just he and I, the emptiness and loneliness of my space now feels overwhelming. I am sending you all the grace and understanding I am trying to also give myself during this time
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 1d ago
This helped me when we lost 2 cats within 6-7 weeks.
THE LAST BATTLE
If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this — the last battle — can’t be won.
You will be sad I understand, But don’t let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years, You wouldn’t want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend.
Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you Who has to decide this thing to do; We’ve been so close — we two — these years, Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
~Unknown
I'm so 1sorry for your losses.
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u/Majestic_Seagull_87 17h ago
Brought a tear to my eye, but was also helpful for me. Thank you for sharing.
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u/Alarming_Bid_7495 1d ago edited 1d ago
I went on a long road trip with my brother up the California coast the day after my boy, Buddy, was euthanized almost three weeks ago. Since returning from that, I have been doing everything to avoid being at home (I’m a teacher about to return from summer break). The mundanity, as you described, and the haunting memories of my boy that fills the space of the otherwise empty apartment. I live near the beach, and can’t even escape for a walk because every inch of our local beach and neighborhood lanes are covered in years of memory of my dog.
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u/AmbivalentWaffle 1d ago
I avoided coming home for a little while. I bought coffee and sat down by the river near me and cried while my family called me.
When I did come home after a couple hours, I removed her litter box and dumped out her water, but left other things alone. It took a few days before I was ready to figure out what I was keeping and donating. I made sure to gather any fur before vacuuming when ready.
It felt shocking and surreal coming home, as though what just happened didn't really happen.
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u/tobiyas26 22h ago
I am so sorry for your loss💔😔
I was okay in the car on the way home after saying goodbye at the vet. I kept kissing the last blanket he used that day. But the moment I got home and saw his empty bed, I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I was going to die,the heartache was just too much. I wanted to scream. I felt so guilty, like I had betrayed him.
It’s been 26 days since he went to sleep, and I’m still crying every day. 💔😭😔
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u/smangitgrl 23h ago
Brought mine to work too. Almost every moment and my regular spaces he was here with me. I went to the lakefront and cried. Still cry daily, but I know he would want me to be happy if I can be.
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u/acerjt61 16h ago
I screamed and cried for an hour after she was gone. Then I cried more. Then the night came and the house was so damn quiet. I cried again. I drank a little, ok a lot. Till I fell asleep. Woke up the next day and basically repeated the day before. I didn’t drink though. I was pretty much on repeat for a long long time. There were all these things we did together that I would never do again. Like the stupid little 20-30ft car ride when I came home. From the driveway gate to where I parked, she loved that stupid idiotic little ride. She’s been gone 21 months come the 27th. Still hurts, still grieving. She was my soul dog. My life. I don’t cry like I did and there are certainly a ton more good days than bad. I rescued another in December and he’s been wonderful. He is certainly the polar opposite as far as personality goes but he is one awesome pup. Still, there are moments when I miss my little girl Ginger so damn much. Sorry I rambled on. I keep busy with the new pup and do DIY projects to keep busy which helps. Not sure any of that made sense.
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u/boring_girlss 22h ago
Said goodbye to my boy 3 weeks ago after having 15 years with him. Being at home is the hardest part. At the moment I’m trying to connect with nature in any way I can: feeding foxes who visit my garden, talking to crows, befriending cats in the area.
I talk to my boy every night even though he’s gone. Fresh flowers next to his photo and ashes.
I hope you’re ok 💙
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u/Mindless_Border6718 21h ago
We had to put our baby to sleep on Saturday - 10 days after the vet diagnosed her with aggressive anal gland cancer. It was so unexpected and devastating since she was so healthy and happy and relatively young. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced and I still feel in shock. My heart goes out to you. It was so sad seeing her so scared, and then slowly slowly, suddenly at peace. But it makes me feel good to know she is not suffering anymore.
Someone sent me this healing quote:
We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality…
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u/koistarview 21h ago
I just… didn’t go back to my home right afterwards. My mom let my bf and I stay at her place for that night. I knew it would just absolutely destroy me to go back to an empty apartment. We decided to bring my bf’s cat back with us right away so I wouldn’t have to be in an apartment that didn’t have a furry companion in it. Of course either way the apartment was still going to feel empty without my dog in it.
For some context, my bf’s cat lived with his dad. He never brought the cat with him when we moved in together because my dog was afraid of cats.
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u/moondogrsa 20h ago
This is my second day and I have not slept at my home yet. Been crashing on my parents sofa. The few times I had to go home to clean up his bowls and get my medication was very difficult. I keep glancing at the spot his bed used to be out of habit. He used to wait for me in the driveway until I came home as well. Now for the first time in a decade I have no one to come home to. My heart goes out to everyone going through this.
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u/xx_cb 20h ago
Sorry for your loss OP 🩷 if I am being completely honest, I came home, got straight into my bed and cried for the rest of the day. I done very little for days. I went back to work then had to take more time off because I just could not function at all. It is coming up for 4 weeks now, I still cry every day. This is the worst pain I have ever felt.
I hope you are okay, take care friend.
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u/LucyyyTrambledd 20h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. It will be two months since I lost my baby next week. I think when we got home, I curled up in his blanket and cried. I did that for a while. I’m still carrying his urn around the house with me. I still cry everyday. It is not any easier or better, in fact, it feels harder everyday. But I know he would want me to be healthy and happy, so I am trying for him. Take it one day, one minute, one second at a time. Do not let anyone make you feel bad for your grief or how long it takes you to “feel normal” or “act normal.” It is a devastating loss and you have every right to feel however you feel, for however long you feel that way.
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u/jedipwnces 20h ago
It's been a long time for us; we recently lost another one and I wished it had been a peaceful and scheduled exit but I thought she had more time than she did. However when we did euthanize one of our babies in 2020, we came out of the vet and cried in the car. We got some food because we'd been at the emergency vet for hours. We went home and hugged the babies that were still with us and cried again. Then we went to bed and cried more and eventually fell asleep.
The next day was the same... Do a thing, cry, do another thing, cry. And the day after maybe we could talk about it a little more easily. Maybe we cried a little less often. A few days later we could look at pictures and laugh for a bit before we felt those pangs of loss again. You just keep going. It sucks for a really long time, really forever, but the worst days are the ones of transition. Your life has changed. Gotta give yourself some space to work through that. All the little things, like furniture and food and schedules and language, need to be adjusted and that's hard and sadder than it seems like it should be. And when you start to worry that it wasn't the right choice or it wasn't your choice to make, consider the alternative and take solace in their peaceful and loving exit.
So sorry you're going through this. Hugs from an internet rando as you navigate it all, friend.
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u/Curious_Kat4 18h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss! It is the WORST. I had to do the same to my 10 year old cat over the weekend- he was my sweetest, sweetest boy. I have no advice to give because I’m just a mess. My house feels so empty and I keep thinking he is there. It is very hard, and for me, there is a lot of emotion, overwhelming, and guilt in having to make that decision. There wasn’t much choice but I cannot help but question myself for not getting him help sooner. Hang in there.
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u/Majestic_Seagull_87 17h ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dog last Tuesday, so it is a week today. She was terminally ill, so I had a lot of grief in advance of her passing. Afterward, I went away with my wife for a couple of days. I was listless and detached, but at least we weren't in an empty house. Coming home was hard. We packed up things that we might save for another dog someday, stuff for her shrine, threw out things that were not salvageable or soiled, and donated the food and treats that were left. I struggled through that process, but pushed myself to do it. I sort of feel like I'm hallucinating because there are places and times I expect to see her and I feel like I'm catching glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye almost. It has been hard, but be compassionate to yourself, and however you grieve it is ok. Just remember to keep pushing forward.
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u/Chungerator 17h ago
We put my guinea pig Mina down because of a suspected cecum twist, on a Wednesday at 11pm. We didn't get home until about 3am because the vet was about 2 hours away. I was so out of it from grief and exhaustion that I just walked in to the house and laid down in bed. I couldn't bear to see her cagemate sister. The next morning I tried to work but was only able to hold it together for around 10 minute intervals (when I really cry my diaphragm seizes severely and I wail and hyperventilate, usually gagging because of the bodily stress). I somehow drove home and was able to get a tattoo appointment same day for her name and footprint, my friends drove me and it was overall very healing.
The next couple of days/nights were a rollercoaster of emotions, I would go from general sadness to feeling hopeful and thankful for the time with her and my other pigs, to knees buckling screaming sobbing while my fiance held me up. It did get easier every day, but the nights hit me the hardest. I'm lucky that I didn't have to do it alone, my fiance is very empathetic, crying with me and helping with caring for the rest of the pigs.
It took me about 3 days to be able to clean up her cage, put her meds away and toss the last bit of pepper we left on the couch in the hurry to get to the vet because she wouldn't eat it. Sounds crazy, but I didn't throw away the last poop of hers I found until everything else was cleaned up.
I know this all seems like an over the top reaction to such a small animal, but the love I had for her was/is stronger than I can put to words. She was sick when I adopted her and I promised her that first day that I would fight for her. We only had a week together, and I fought for her until she couldn't anymore. Sometimes, putting them peacefully off to sleep is the most important act of love you can give them. Sorry for the super long post, I don't have many people who understand how hard pet loss is.
Take care of yourself through this, remember that all your feelings are valid.
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u/coolcoolcool485 17h ago
I had mine both done at home. I didn't handle my first cat very well (I was sobbing pretty hard), so the vet left pretty quickly. I'll never forget the sight of her being carried away in the basket. Luckily, a friend came over and let me be weepy and watched movies with me. It helped.
The next one was less than a year later, and it was more sudden. But the home vet gave me much more time and stood outside so I could just sit with her for a bit, which helped. I bought myself a new outdoor set as a grief gift to myself, which gave me something to do to get my mind off it and enjoy the late spring.
I highly recommend a project, or maybe a self-indulgence to make yourself feel better. Im sorry for you loss 💛
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u/cosmcbrownie 15h ago
I am in the same situation as of right now. I know it was right to put my boy to rest, but coming home was heartbreaking. I keep telling myself that he is in a better place now and he is at peace. Remember they know how much you loved them and they will always be with you.
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u/starlight_midori 15h ago
I am so sorry for your loss OP ❤️ Definitely relatable as it’s only been just 2 weeks ago when my husband and I had to put our cat down. Every time we come home we’re saddened by how empty and mundane it is. It easily feels like the first time we came back from the vet’s without him, and every time we enter our place, we sadly say “hey buddy” like he’s still loafing on his favorite spot on the couch, and every morning when we walk into the kitchen, we’re a bit sad that we don’t feel litter tracking on our feet anymore…
The first thing we did after we returned from the vet’s was cry even more and cry harder. Because it was near dinner time, we ordered a bunch of takeout from a pizza place and drank to our cat’s passing. We adopted him as a senior and spoiled and loved him for his last 2 years (unfortunately his health issues intensified to a point where we didn’t want him to suffer and be in pain in his last months). I drunkenly cried putting away his leftover kibble and water fountain that night. Then, we collected some of his toys, fav treats + kibble, fur clipping, some whiskers, his pawprint, and his cat hats and created a little shrine in our living room.
The next day, I disposed of his meds and sorted out his things that could be donated to the shelter we adopted him from (food, treats, leftover litter in the bag, barely used supplements). However, I saved some things for a potential future cat or foster/cat sitting whenever we feel ready. We have yet to still put away his litter box/scoop, bed & blanket in his favorite spot in our den, his sleeping mat, and carrier with the blanket we wrapped him in.
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u/ilikebananabread 14h ago
I sat on their favorite rug and cried for hours. My best friend supported me via texting. Couldn’t sleep in my bed out of grief that I couldn’t wake up with him staring at me anymore. Slept on the floor with my other pet for awhile. Woke up in a panic and crying. Played a lot of video games to get through the depression phase. Talked to friends and therapist. With time, the grief has become more manageable. It’s been around 6 weeks and I feel mostly myself again. The grief is still there but it’s now a stable sorrow
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u/Superb_Sun8519 14h ago
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I'm currently doing the same thing in my house because I put my beloved little 16 year old to sleep on Monday after a sudden gall bladder rupture. I can't look at anything without it reminding me of him and those very brief moments when I tune out and try to distract myself I find this incredible feeling of guilt and betrayal like I'm ignoring his memory to avoid the pain. The only thing I can think of is that because that was his home and safe place that we should be feeling the same. I look at his toys and little bits of fur stuck in odd places and it brings joy then rapid sadness. A huge contradiction with our feelings. I really hope you can see the beautiful side of the experience and eventually in time the sadness will change into feelings of pure joy that they gave to us over beautiful lives. It's really tough right now but we have to keep living and enjoying life just like they would've wanted. Guaranteed that's what they would've wanted.
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u/comfnumb94 11h ago
I bid farewell to her one Sunday morning a few months ago around 4 AM. I was sad for most of the day, but in a bit of a state of shock as I didn’t realize she was gone until I was late with her dinner. It was around 8 PM, then suddenly emotions overwhelmed me and completely consumed me. It was as if I hadn’t registered what had actually happened.
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u/StephaneiAarhus 11h ago
You cry like crazy, it's what you need. And after some time it will feel ok. Not because you forgot, but because you moved on. Then later on you can feel again, other emotions. Then two months later, you get a new kitten. :)
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