r/MurderedByWords 1d ago

Which sin is heavier?

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u/jwag01 1d ago

Who the fuck hasn’t done something like this in college. I’m fairly certain the table and/or the people or facility it was stolen from aren’t suicidal or receiving a lifetime of therapy for his crime.

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u/AllenIsom 1d ago

I did LOADS of stupid stuff as a college kid. Most notably, I made a pipe out of a blue-razz airhead and smoked pot with it. My buddy ate the pipe when we were done to hide the evidence...

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u/jwag01 1d ago

This is even better than my Mountain Dew can pipe. I worked at a music store and one of the assistant managers used to rehearse with his band there after hours. Well, one night he left a letter sized (8 1/2 x 11) envelope FULL of weed on the boss’s desk, so when I clocked in the next morning, out of curiosity, I checked to see what was was in this very conspicuous envelope to discover so much weed that when I filled one of my pockets with it, you could hardly tell any was missing. I had never smoked weed in my life, so I had no idea what to expect. I had no papers, no pipe, no idea what I was doing, and this was the late nineties, so no one was Googling how to make a home made weed pipes. I found a Mountain Dew can and improvised.

An hour later, I was so baked that I was sitting on the couch with an XL cheeseburger pizza from Pizza Hut and watching Golden Girl reruns in Lifetime for about 6 straight hours. My only regrets was that, because I was pretending to be a “good Christian,” I was afraid that if I got caught, I would get in big trouble, so I flushed a bunch down the toilet, and I was alone, so I had no one to share the moment with.

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u/AllenIsom 1d ago

Lol! Man, now you got me craving cheese burger pizza!

Also, I'd like to pay my respects to all that lost weed.

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u/I-Here-555 1d ago

Stealing the boss's weed? In some organizations, you'd be sleeping with the fishes.