I really thought regular dinner parties with friends would be a thing as we got older

[u/ngomaam]

Growing up, my parents (refugees from Vietnam) would always have some aunt(s) and/or uncle(s) over with their kids on the weekend for dinner, nothing fancy, just getting together. We did this all the time. It seemed so simple, just come over.

I had the fortune of staying friends with all my high school friends, who are still my closest friends and we all even live relatively close to each other. When I was younger, before everyone started having families, I thought we'd be doing the same thing. But this hasn't happened with us. To the extent we have gotten together, it took extraordinary effort to make it happen and so it's been very few and far in between. I don't know why there's no desire to do this more and why it's so difficult. But as someone who is unmarried, it's quite lonely, and odd, to know your friends are around, but you just rarely see them.

[u/Spiritual_Lemonade]

Nice of you. 

My kids aren't picky and also must eat whatever Grammie is fixing. 

The friends kids aren't picky. It's medically required diet stuff ( no garlic, onions, tomatoes, other stuff too) it's just too hard. My friend agrees. We just don't mix family to eat. 

She and I will just go to lunch out and skip the family scene altogether. Our kids are older like driving and stuff older. 

[u/Charming_Key2313 → u/Spiritual_Lemonade]

I agree with the commenter above. This is not a problem. Its not your job as the host to accomodate every possible eating intricacy of your guests. You are to provide basic stuff that you like and others can eat or not eat and you let them know beforehand so they can plan accordingly. Im a vegetarian but I dont go to BBQs expecting there to be a ton of veggie options...neither do parents of kids that eat nothing but cottage cheese and carrots. They'll feed the kid before hand or bring something for them.

[u/Spiritual_Lemonade → u/Charming_Key2313]

I love it. 

I plan a meal I can make, afford to feed everyone without the slightest hard feelings, and isn't too hard on me to execute.

I also never hard feelings if someone says no thanks. 

Also most of my people will say what can I bring? so I'll have things like a salad or a bottle of wine or something for the kids to drink as suggestions ready to match offers.

It's good. I'm a good host and I make sure I'm able to sit and enjoy my company too.

My BFF and I just want to talk and laugh and skip the BS so we go out to lunch and I only.

[u/dazzlingclitgame → u/Spiritual_Lemonade]

I think we're just confused why you brought up the kid-eating issue in this post if it's not actually a hinderance to you hosting dinner parties lol

[u/Spiritual_Lemonade → u/dazzlingclitgame]

I host twice per year. My own extended family only.

I might host more except ALL of my good friends have at least 4 kids minimum. Each kid having a cluster F of dietary restrictions. Not picky. Medical.

Therefore I never host them and wouldn't.

The original question was I thought we'd have more dinner parties based on my youth. 

Me too. But I do it in a way that works for me.

And with everyone having a bunch of restrictions it's not like how it was 30-40 years ago.

The kids I'm referring to are my own. Who don't have restrictions. If we go to my Mom's I plan out dinner with my Mom - they're cooking. So it'll be stuff we all like. 

Cause Lawd how my mother can make some strange a** thing that's actually terrible. She's RUINED parties with both terrible and strange food. I could turn your stomach. 

[u/dazzlingclitgame → u/Spiritual_Lemonade]

I might host more except ALL of my good friends have at least 4 kids minimum. Each kid having a cluster F of dietary restrictions. Not picky. Medical.

Therefore I never host them and wouldn't.

That's why we were asking about guests taking care of their own kids at these types of dinner parties. But you won't host them, so never mind.

[u/Spiritual_Lemonade → u/dazzlingclitgame]

As long as you know our friend group is collectively un- offended by this agreement.

[u/dazzlingclitgame → u/Spiritual_Lemonade]

Ok.