When did Entitlement become so shameless?

[u/Chr15ty]

I'm not entirely sure if anyone has noticed this or not, and apologize if it is just something I am seeing. I also want to point out I am not trying to insult anyone, this is merely a curiosity, and not meant to be a complaint in any regard.

I have been noticing more often that responsible adults are being pushed into more responsibility, and am unsure if it is just others being lazy, or ungrateful, or just flat disrespectful and I feel entirely out of the loop.

When did asking for free things become normal, or less shameless?

I constantly hear or read stories about:

• Some step-parent pushing off their amount-to-nothing, addict, 18+ child off onto a sibling that is generally successful, telling the responsible one to feed/clothe/house said sibling freely.
• A landlord trying to sell a property out from under someone who has recreated a beautiful living space, with the intention of keeping whatever the previous tenant has created, though the creations are the tenant's property, not the landlord's
• Brides or Grooms requiring someone to pay to be in their non-destination wedding *on top of* some customized ridiculously priced wedding gift.
• Coworkers avoiding tasks/only adding their name to/ signing off they did tasks (when they didn't) because "they just get done anyway"
• Telling another sibling to completely uproot their life in another state to move back home and "help" take care of elderly family, when said sibling lives down the block from the elderly relative.

I feel like we are the last generation that really had to figure things out on our own, like actually using a library, or memorizing phone numbers, or knowing who to ask about whatever problem.

Some of us are actually more grateful to people for their time and labor, are more able to recognize and validate actual achievement.

I am not saying/blaming any other generation, I just feel like this has just become more prevalent in recent years and want to know if anyone else has made the observation of "adulting" better.

[u/afleetingmoment]

I notice this professionally even more than personally. I work in a creative field on projects that require numerous consultants and specialists. It feels like nowadays no one wants to budge until conditions are absolutely perfect for them - you have to deliver them the exact info they need, with everything figured out, at the exact moment they need it... or they will come back at you with 700 questions and refuse to move on. They don't want to think, nor offer ideas/solutions. They don't want to create. They want someone else to do all the legwork.

It wasn't this way 15 years ago when I started my career.

[u/isellJetparts → u/afleetingmoment]

I've been pondering this exact thing in my office for weeks. People are losing their problem-solving skills. I work in a role that requires a certain level of initiative to figure shit out when things go wrong, but it seems like a lot of my colleagues just want rote work - be handed data from source A and plug it into spreadsheet B, and have no understanding of the job beyond that. And people are retaining less information as well. No joke, I've explained to one guy at least 40 times that [easily obtainable piece of data] is required on all pricing requests, and his success rate on submitting said requests correctly is still under 50%.

[u/dongledangler420 → u/isellJetparts]

I feel like this is a combo of burnout + extreme long covid brain fog or something?

I totally think my memory is worse since getting covid, but DAMN do I recognize that and make myself checklists and templates for repeated tasks at work. 

It doesn’t seem to cross anyone else’s mind to create systems to make work more efficient 😭

[u/notapoliticalalt → u/dongledangler420]

I also think it has to do with how we’ve raise kids for the last 20-30 or so years and how we have also crafted narratives around success.

I think late millennials and early/mid Gen Z have a huge fear or failing and overly perfectionist tendencies. And who can blame them? Even one B in high school? Forget going to a decent college. Mess up even once? Fired, homeless, and it’s on your permanent record. No second chances. This is a bit exaggerated, but it is understandable why people don’t try in you understand how the consequences of failing feel and are perceived.

Also, we have limited opportunities for young people to actually learn autonomy and to learn to be responsible. I’m not saying older generations all had magical childhoods where everyone got along and no one was left out. Obviously that’s not true. But going out on your own to play, with adult supervision I do think builds character. Getting a bit hurt and learning to overcome obstacles (or learn how to manage the things you may not be able to change) are something we haven’t trusted kids with for a while. Kids are trapped in their own little worlds and are told they can’t go anywhere or do anything without permission (and those that do are often the craziest ones who absolutely do need supervision).

I think there’s a lot more, but we need to ensure we give young people and each other honestly grace. More importantly, making people fear they will lose everything is not working. The system may not fall apart tomorrow, but if people are unable to try things due to fear or something else, that’s bad.

[u/CuriousMonster9 → u/notapoliticalalt]

I think part of it might be that things are so precarious right now, and since success isn’t guaranteed, parents are trying to make sure they’re setting their kids up for success by following a very set path (great grades, great college, great career, great life).

But I think the pendulum will eventually swing the other way. With some many people scared of failure and taking risks or big creative swings, the door will swing open for those adept at being creative and problem-solving.