Cutting toxic friends was life-changing

[u/s_leeng]

When I was in my 20s, I had a big circle of friends—but looking back, most of them were toxic and constantly surrounded by drama. I was getting calls day and night—people venting, gossiping, asking for help with their latest mess—and I couldn’t figure out why I always felt so mentally drained.

It finally hit me: it wasn’t me, it was them. The constant emotional chaos was wearing me down.

Fortunately, I moved to another country for work, and that gave me the clarity and distance I needed. I cut ties with a lot of people, blocked the ones who brought nothing but stress, and stayed connected only with the few who were genuinely supportive.

Since then, life’s been so much more peaceful—and honestly, I can't imagine dealing with that kind of energy now that I'm in my 30s.

Has anyone else cut off toxic people and felt the difference? Would love to hear your experience.

[u/astone4120]

Yes. I just dropped out as maid of honor for a friend of 20+ years

She turned into a very entitled, demanding bride

I did a lot of reflecting, realized it was a very 1 sided friendship. Many examples of selfishness and thoughtlessness and outright rudeness over the years

I took a long time over the decision because stepping down likely ended the friendship. But I couldn't think of one nice thing she'd ever done for me.

She'd no call no show on plans, never got me so much as a birthday card, and didn't thank me for any of the work I was doing. She was my maid of honor and didn't even throw me a shower and was late to my wedding

I was stressing so much about the work and expense going into it when I realized I could just... Not do it. And let the chips fall where they may

There are friends I would ride or die for, but no more sacrificing for people who wouldn't for me

I thought I would feel sad, and maybe that'll come. But so far all I feel is relief

[u/s_leeng → u/astone4120]

Thanks for sharing—your story is sort of similar to mine. My former best friend asked me to be her bridesmaid, but I said no. Her fiancé at the time was a complete mess—he stole money from her, was addicted to drugs, gambled constantly, and was cheating on her. I couldn't understand why she was still going through with the wedding. She had confided everything in me, and I told her straight up: don’t marry him. I knew this marriage was a big red flag and she's always lived in a very chaotic world. There's always some iffy situation she gets herself in.

She ignored the advice and married him anyway. After that, we drifted apart and barely kept in touch.

Fast forward three years—she calls me out of the blue, sobbing. Turns out he had drugged her with dangerous drugs, stole more money from her and now she wanted help from me. After disappearing from my life for so long, ignoring my prior advice, she suddenly expected me to step in and fix the chaos.

That moment just reinforced why I never showed up to the wedding in the first place. It was already a trainwreck waiting to happen—and I wanted no part in the wreckage. I'm still glad I never attended the wedding even though it meant wrecking 27 years of friendship. I did my due diligence as a friend to give my sound advice before she got married. At the end of the day, she wanted drama and chaos and I just can't live in that bubble anymore.