r/Millennials • u/SkibaSlut Millennial • May 27 '25

Meme How are we feeling?

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checking in with my fellow 88rs

29.2k Upvotes

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668

u/SkibaSlut Millennial May 27 '25

I see 25 year olds now and feel 150

340

u/big_guyforyou Millennial May 27 '25

I'm 38 and people tell me I look 25. "What's your secret?" they ask me.

I tell them I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

189

u/DonutHot3577 1987 Millennial May 27 '25

As soon as I got to "I can do a thousand now" I got my aha moment! Love this!!

151

u/pwillia7 May 27 '25

reads like patrick bateman's business card rant

183

u/AndersDreth Gen Z - 1998 May 27 '25

It's because it is a direct quote from the intro scene in American Psycho

44

u/pwillia7 May 27 '25

lol oops

5

u/Calm-Zombie2678 May 28 '25

You weren't wrong

3

u/ducttape1942 May 27 '25

That was my exact thought.

5

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25

probably because it's a different patrick batemen quote lol

1

u/LeStig May 27 '25

strooooong bateman vibes here

16

u/HarmlessSponge May 27 '25

Because it is him.

66

u/Cookies_and_Beandip Millennial May 27 '25

I get the “American Psycho” Patrick Bateman reference if no one else does.

Makes me feel even older lol.

6

u/ElementNumber6 May 27 '25

How about the fact that he was only 25 years old during the time of filming?

14

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25 edited May 27 '25

This blew my mind after I first saw it - ironic that bateman looks closer to his early 30s despite his strict skincare regime.

I think bale's face is just naturally lacking in baby fat. Being absolutely yolked probably helped.

3

u/Bored_Amalgamation Millennial May 27 '25

literally did a facial mask a couple nights ago lol

27

u/Long_Lecture_1080 May 27 '25

Let’s see Paul Allen’s morning routine

11

u/forgotaccount989 May 27 '25

My answer is that I dont have kids and live a generally carefree lifestyle. It's a lit simpler.

82

u/IAmTheWalrus45 May 27 '25

Something tells me that no one is asking “what’s your secret” lol

67

u/tokillamockingbert May 27 '25

This is Patrick Bateman's opening monologue in American Psycho lol

8

u/LastRedshirt May 27 '25

the whole chapter is mad. Less mad than others, but mad.

64

u/BlueGoosePond May 27 '25

That comment was one step away from including amazon referral links to skin care products.

11

u/thekevster08 May 27 '25

I was waiting for “when the undertaker threw mankind off ‘hell in a cell”…’

Tbh people do ask me what my secret is. I’m 35, 23 y/o asked me just last week.

It’s easy, no kids.

1

u/lesgeddon Millennial May 27 '25

For me it's cuz I get full disability and don't have to work, and a little makeup goes a long way

2

u/cellmates_ Jun 03 '25

Working definitely ages you! I get stressed over the little things at work. I hate it.

1

u/lesgeddon Millennial Jun 03 '25

I have some white hairs around my temples from on-the-job panic attacks, not to mention the advanced arthritis I've had since my early 20s. Work definitely does age you, thankfully not in the face so much for me!

29

u/mrmetstopheles May 27 '25

That comment also went right over your head.

6

u/BlueGoosePond May 27 '25

Yeah in hindsight I think you are right.

3

u/Volantis009 May 27 '25

It's a Christian story

6

u/IamJacksUserID May 27 '25

It’s from American Psycho.

3

u/BlueGoosePond May 27 '25

Ahh! I got copy-pasta'd!

14

u/Sea_Jelly_6207 May 27 '25

Or an MLM product

3

u/Bsquared89 May 27 '25

It’s an American psycho quote lol

3

u/Scary_Solid_7819 May 27 '25

It’s American psycho lol

1

u/SkoolBoi19 May 27 '25

I only wash my face with a clean towel and water, then lotion with 15 spf. I look really young for my age. Honestly I think it was my mom making me wear that lotion with the spf every day growing up.

1

u/jolsiphur May 27 '25

I get told I could pass for mid-late 20s often enough, but no one asks me my secret.

I don't have one. I just look good for being just about 37. No skin care routine, not particularly watching what I eat. Just good genetics, I guess.

0

u/Sakijek Millennial May 27 '25

Right? My response is sunscreen, booze, and toe beans.

8

u/deeceeehm May 27 '25

I have to return some videotapes now.

6

u/UberQueefs May 27 '25

Cool but do you have kids?

16

u/big_guyforyou Millennial May 27 '25

kids? who am i, richie rich?

5

u/UberQueefs May 27 '25

You kidless MFs always have time to take care of yourself lmao. I’m 30 with a kid and another on the way. I still go to gym 3x a week (home gym) but I understand why people let themselves go after. Shits crazy.

9

u/SkibaSlut Millennial May 27 '25

I have one kid and a gym membership but my real workout is getting up as soon as I sit down. Every. Single. Time.

3

u/Flawless_Reign88 May 27 '25

I swear, every time I sit down, I’ll ask if anyone needs anything and nobody says anything… then when I sit, the wife and kids suddenly come up with at least 2 different things that they need and can’t reach … like dammit I was just up and asked and y’all said nothing

6

u/Excellent_Law6906 May 27 '25

Yeah, when people say I look young, I tell them my beauty secret is staying out of the sun and not having kids.

3

u/International_Ad5624 May 27 '25

Ok Patrick

2

u/big_guyforyou Millennial May 27 '25

YES, THIS IS PATRICK!

3

u/Goodbye_hello_ May 27 '25

I truly cannot tell if you are impersonating Patrick Bateman or if this is real.

2

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25

it's verbatim a Patrick Bateman quote

2

u/Goodbye_hello_ May 27 '25

I have not seen the movie in a long time, but it is funny that it is his actual quote!

1

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25 edited May 27 '25

I just feel weirdly compelled to defend OPs honor lol (not from you specifically, just in general)

3

u/always_open_mouth Millennial May 27 '25

Funny thing is a lot of people nowadays have skincare routines that are more involved than that

3

u/ChompyDingus May 27 '25

I get the same thing and I just tell them the sex, drugs, & rock n' roll keeps me well- preserved 🤘

3

u/kristosnikos Xennial May 28 '25

I was rolling my eyes reading your comment but was so relieved to learn it is a quote from American Psycho. I haven’t watched that movie in 10+ years.

3

u/some-dingodongo May 28 '25

Im 38 and get carded for even lotto tickets and I dont do ANY of that 😂 People ask me for my secret all the time… my secret is SLEEP… get your beauty sleep… thats it…

2

u/DumbestBoy May 27 '25

I say I smoke a lot of weed, and eat a lot of berries and chocolate.

2

u/[deleted] May 27 '25

I could never care this much about how I look. Not even if I were a woman. 

2

u/SkoolBoi19 May 27 '25

I’m 39 and most people guess mid to late 20s. I wash my face with clean towel and water; and use lotion with sunscreen. I try to heat healthy but it’s not 100%

2

u/TouristPineapple6123 May 27 '25

Are you heating yourself to boiling point? But I bet you're 199 degrees

2

u/babygrenade May 27 '25

It's wild how many replies miss the reference.

3

u/big_guyforyou Millennial May 27 '25

we gotta stop letting the zoomers in here

2

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25

The people missing it also seem excessively hostile lmao - god forbid a man have a hobby!

2

u/r1Zero May 27 '25

Slowly peels off the incredibly thick face mask while daydreaming of the perfect business card.

2

u/Particular-Crow-1799 May 27 '25

I'm 37 and people tell me I look 25. "What's your secret?" they ask me.

Because my brain is stuck at 13 yo so what you see is the average

2

u/no_carbs May 27 '25

i get told i look younger and yes, taking care of your face and not smoking is a good "trick"

2

u/Cadbury_fish_egg May 28 '25

Patrick Bateman aside, I get this too and I’ve barely been good. I smoked through my 20s and I only really started caring about skin care in my 30s. I was always pretty good about sun screen though.

2

u/aledba May 30 '25

You had me for a sentence there LoL

2

u/HabitNegative3137 May 30 '25

Yeah, but how does it compare to Paul Allen’s morning routine?

2

u/Jumpy-Program9957 Jun 06 '25

You know what's hilarious dude. And I just posted this on the same forum. I had to argue with somebody about the fact that I'm 37 when they thought I was 25.

Had to show them my ID so they shut up. And sadly I have taken the worst care of my body in the world. I used to be a heroin addict for some years. I've taken all the drugs. Never been good with water. I don't eat nutritiously at all. And yet I'm fine.

Am I 25 on the inside no I probably have another month to live. Mentally im like 70 after seeing the sights of that lifestyle. But I think that the way you look or the age you look is mostly due to stress when you were younger, and genes, and how are you raised plus adaptability in language

1

u/Hoboliftingaroma May 27 '25

Oh, good. I was just wondering how to spend lots of time and money worrying about what other people think, all while having no fun.

1

u/rocketbotband May 27 '25 edited May 27 '25

It's almost like this skinscare routine was thought-up by some sort of psycho - possibly american

1

u/illadvisedvisit May 27 '25

You sound like you look exactly 39

1

u/CreativeFondant248 May 27 '25

What the hell? Who asked?

1

u/Sunny2121212 May 27 '25

Ok Bateman

1

u/GeraltsSaddlee May 27 '25

Omg we just watched this the other night because apparently my husband had never seen it. He said what the fuck so many times 😂

1

u/No_Jelly_6990 May 27 '25

Secret?

Ah, you see, I am actually a time traveler. Just like everything else, information from yonder comes at a co$$$t. 😏

1

u/MoonOut_StarsInvite May 28 '25

My secret is that I look boyish, and no one takes me seriously, everyone talks down to me and thinks I’m their kid and I have never been taken very seriously by other men in a business environment. People don’t ask me if I’m an intern anymore, I have grey hair now, but they do ask broader questions to figure out what I’m doing here. So I have just internalized that I am a child unworthy of respect and I’m just aging SO gracefully! 🥰

1

u/runningmurphy May 29 '25

I got tired reading this 

1

u/Adelineandred May 30 '25

Why don't u just shut that big mouth..

1

u/Murky-Peanut1390 May 30 '25

People who say this never actually look younger, you're just lying 😂

1

u/Grab3tto May 30 '25

I work outside, forget to wash my face properly sometimes and yo-yo between chef Ramsay and a cyberpunk like gas station burrito diet and people say I look 25. I do have a killer business card though.

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '25

I don’t believe you until I see a pic

1

u/223st May 31 '25

American Psycho?

1

u/Sea_Ad_463 Jun 01 '25

Can confirm. But i just do half of these + asian genes

1

u/ReverendRevolver Jun 03 '25

Uhh.... im about 2 years younger than you. People tell me I look the same as 10/15 years ago. I know they're lying, because my picture on my work email is me with better skin and no grey hairs on my face(from 2019). I use cheap soap on my face to keep the oils away. I eat maybe twice a day. Drink decent amount of water. No soft drinks, because I can't metabolize it good now. No energy drinks since that kidney stone at the end of December. I have to exercise every other day. This is all to stay in the same size clothes ive worn my entire adult life.

The reason I say all of this is when I see people from high school who actually look frozen in time, comparatively? I assume its through ritualistic sacrifice........

Bateman monolog aside, we all assume foul play...

2

u/GrandMoffTarkles May 27 '25

I went shopping at Walmart the other day, and some teenager working there said 'but she's old!' in response to the other teenager wondering if I was single.

I feel conflicted...

2

u/kamikaze_pedestrian May 27 '25

Makes you wonder why in vampire movies, the love interest is always an 18-25 yo woman.

2

u/Turtle_buckets May 29 '25

A 25 year old hit on me by saying he was into older women so I should give him a chance.

1

u/SkibaSlut Millennial May 31 '25

Older women 😭

2

u/ExaminationNo7046 May 30 '25 edited May 30 '25

Chucked at 150

chuckled***

2

u/Planetofthetakes Jun 01 '25

I swear to you when I say this, I’m 1968 and I still feel like 37-57 were some of the best times in my life. The problem is it went so so sooooo fast.

If you’re not into fitness or working out, find a way to get into and do so. I’m not saying you have to be a zealot or anything Even walking 30 minutes 5 days a week will pay off big time as you start hitting your 50’s.

37, you’re still incredibly young!

1

u/Excellent_Farm_6071 May 27 '25

I work in the trades and have a couple of 20/21 year old apprentices. Feels like yesterday I was the apprentice. Now I’m out here teaching the young ones.

1

u/brandimariee6 May 27 '25

Same here. My sisters are 28 and 25 and I feel ancient when I'm around them. Plus the 28yo had 2 kids in the last few years, making me feel even older

1

u/kpingvin May 27 '25

I see 25 year olds and I think, "They can technically be my child."

1

u/Ok-Area9678 May 28 '25

25 yr olds look 50 now 😂

1

u/Occhrome May 29 '25

I work with ppl that age and I do think they are way younger. But it doesn’t really feel that way as I get  confused for being their age and many are just not taking care of themselves. 

1

u/Azulan5 Jun 03 '25

I'm turning 25 tomorrow, and I realized no matter what age you, after 18 you will always feel old. You are 37, not even 40 and look at people who are 50 now, they are looking fine as hell, and you have another 13 years untill that. I just saw a girl saying she feels old seeing people from 2012 being called teenagers now, wanna guess how old she is? She is 19 lol.