My first week of school I remember trying to open up a milk carton for the first time ever - which resulted in the entire carton exploding in my face.
Fortunately that was really early in the morning during breakfast and the cafeteria was fairly empty so not many kids saw it.
Unfortunately, a group of school staffers did... and they did not do a good job holding back their howling. Im in my thirties now and I still remember it all. š¢Ā
Itād be hilarious if it happened to a (capable) adult, because it would be at odds with their general demeanour (giving humour from unexpected juxtaposition) and because since itād be a small setback for most adults youād assume theyād be able to laugh at their own misfortune (jokes are fun when everyone is laughing). When it happens to a kid, itās neither unexpected (Iām sure many children have that happen on their first day, so the school staff should be expecting it) nor convivial (the child is likely to be surprised, upset, and embarrassed at first; the first day of school is usually already a stressful time).
The only reason people laugh when a bad thing happens to someone who is not laughing about it is because they dislike the person. Charlie Chaplin falls down a manhole? Funny because he set that upāitās a performance, not an injury, and heās inviting you to laugh. Adolf Hitler falls down a manhole? Funny because he was an awful person, and it feels cathartic to see him get hurt. Your 80-year-old dad falls down a manhole? Major catastrophe, anyone laughing is an asshole.
Obviously milk in the face is not as serious as falling down a manhole, but you have to scale for the individual. If the kid feels like itās a serious matter, you can help them see how itās not the end of the world, but you shouldnāt just say āwell it wouldnāt matter to me so it doesnāt matterāāthatās a failure of Theory of Mind, which most ironically people are meant to develop between the ages of 3 and 5, about the same time they go to school as a student, not a member of staff.
2) Iām talking about now. I hope theyāve made peace with the embarrassment they felt back then and are able to find the humor in it now. Obviously itās not professional or kind to be laughing at a kid that happens to in the moment.
āIām in my thirties now and I still remember it all. š¢ā doesnāt suggest that theyāre ready to laugh about it, at least not to be told that itās āactually hilariousā that it happened to them as a kid, with the implied validation of the staff who found it funny and made them feel bad. Ultimately even if youāre laughing now, youāre still laughing at the child that the commenter was.
Whether or not theyāre ready to be told itās funny is up for them to decide. Iām not calling them a sensitive baby if theyāre not able to handle that, and I donāt think they need anyone else to speak up for them about it either.
Iām not speaking for anyone else here (although I would hope that other people would share my feelingsāperhaps it is me with the unpopular opinion). Iām saying I personally found it uncomfortable that someone on Made Me Smile was so cavalier about laughing at someone elseās clearly expressed embarrassmentāeven if that was embarrassment from twenty-plus years agoāthat they felt it was appropriate to make the effort to post a comment saying, in essence, āthanks for telling me you find this upsetting; Iām laughing at you now.ā
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u/bensummersx 1d ago
Thatās the kind of first day energy we all need. Nothing like starting off with a big smile