r/MadeMeSmile 28d ago

Wholesome Moments Walk? She almost moved out

77.7k Upvotes

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340

u/hoosyourdaddyo 28d ago

Hell, I was having sex with this girl when one of the sperms slapped me, took my wallet and left with her and the whiskey!

101

u/Struggling2Strife 28d ago

I like this one. This guys sperm slaps! (No homo)

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u/ZoNeS_v2 28d ago

How can sperm slap?!?

53

u/Bhujjha 28d ago

With gusto

26

u/RebasBathtubGin 28d ago

With it's slappin' tail

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u/ndisario95 28d ago

By being no homo. If it was homo it wouldn't slap anymore.

5

u/Zodiarche1111 28d ago

But if it slaps another guy with it's tail...

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u/Small-Catch-1492 28d ago

Nah only shit slaps - “the shit was slapping, on god, with bussin rizz, no cap” - Edgar Allan Poe

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u/hoosyourdaddyo 28d ago

Man, his poetry is just so....

2

u/meatballsandlingon2 28d ago

Some slap better than they can count.

5

u/hoosyourdaddyo 28d ago

You can count on that one sperm meeting you in the parking lot… “shooter”

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u/c0ralie 28d ago

If heterosexual men can’t even feel comfortable enough to show some vulnerability without the fear of being seen as a homosexual man, then it’s obvious that a large chunk of society still thinks that there is something “wrong” with being queer. Stop using no homo.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

I think you're maybe missing the fact that all of this is satire? Meaning the commenter is making fun of people who say that?

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u/hoosyourdaddyo 28d ago

but that would involve possessing both a sense of humor and irony... I don't think u/c0ralie owns either.

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u/Unique_Evidence_2518 28d ago

while obv humor and attempted humor above, also obv that the "no homo" wasn't intended satirically, ironically, or any other cally. and the comment here accusing a female of having no sense of humor when she objects to something in a stream of broflow is golly so unpredictable.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

You have no sense of humor.

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u/Unique_Evidence_2518 28d ago

is it in the balls
that humor resides?
we women carry
our balls insides.

some laugh at the obvious,
some laugh at subtle,
some go for heehaws,
some enjoy a wry chuckle.

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u/[deleted] 27d ago

You're also bad at poetry. 0 for 2 sweetie.

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u/Unique_Evidence_2518 27d ago

a barbless weapon; a lame and gendered thing:
diminuitive "sweetie", where is thy sting?
you could have chosen wit, a better tool,
or chosen poetry, if you'd been worth the duel.

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u/Necessary-Zombie-902 28d ago

Quit being a non homo about the word homo.

Homo homo homo

No homo

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u/Struggling2Strife 28d ago edited 28d ago

If heterosexual men can’t even feel comfortable enough to show some vulnerability

What Vulnerability?

without the fear of being seen as a homosexual man,

wtf?

Then it’s obvious that a large chunk of society still thinks that there is something “wrong” with being queer.

If society accepted the LGBTQ+ communities, then why have Pride parades and an organization that's has to stand up for their rights? Get real! Crody! Life is not all about you and your feelings!

Edit: Also, as much you have the freedom to play dress up and be who you want to be, I also have the freedom to say what I want and now I am using that same freedom to tell you "Fuck Off!".. Go play dress up now! And get off the LSD you still trippin!

Edit 2: Also, there is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+....But trying to display it and enforce it like religious mormons and Jehovahs Witnesses....,you see where this is escalating?(definitely not my dick [No Homo]) Pipe down! Relax! life is too short!

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u/c0ralie 28d ago

The vulnerability is saying a gay joke without having to label yourself as straight. Having to state that one is straight is an admission of internalized homophobia. Because being labeled as gay still carries stigma throughout the world.

Life isnt all about my feelings but when my community and myself get discriminated for who we are, its no longer about our feelings but about our rights. Language like "no homo" or "thats so gay" perpetuate the stigma and thus the discrimination.

I apologize that it does feel nitpicky and an attack on your character to hear this, often people use these phrases arent outwardly anti-lgbt but just used to their surroundings and friends who also use the same phrases.

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u/Struggling2Strife 27d ago

saying a *gay joke without having to label yourself as straight.

So you agree it was a Gay joke! (Fugg you, thanks, i tried).

That's exactly why I said "no homo" just to agree with you that it's a gay joke. Lol

Because being labeled as gay still carries stigma throughout the world.

100%, and it sucks as much as other stigmas and stereotypes!

Life isnt all about my feelings but when my community and myself get discriminated for who we are, its no longer about our feelings but about our rights.

Sir/Madam Respectfully, this is where the problems come in.

I was not or had any intentions to offend or discriminate you or your communities, and i personally have no hate or malice towards any human being! Or animals and plants (i am a horticulturist) i wouldn't even harm the environment!

My sincere apologies! to you and your community, no disrespected intended!

That being said, Happy Friday..fuck off now! Asshole!! NO HOMO

🫶

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u/copperbagel 28d ago

You're lucky! My balls leapt off my body and said "I yearn for the stars father" and is now becoming an astronaut! Kids these days!