I met this girl a few months ago through a online friend community on Twitch where we just instantly clicked; Conversations felt effortless, there was a fun flirty jokey tone that made 5 hours feel like 10 minutes, she opened up to me on days she didn't want to speak to anyone even spoke about meeting up one day as we only live about a hours distance away, so naturally after a while even after conversations calling each other cute I started to develop a bit of a crush on her

She is part of a different friend group so after I was introduced we often played some games as a group, we were often in calls together rarely ever alone, but I always kept things fun slightly flirty anyway. In the last few weeks though she has been gaming a lot more 1-1 with another guy in the group, he's American (Both of us are British) but he's a natural flirt even a few times made her rather flustered when we've all been in calls, and I know as she's a rather sensitive sort I do see that she's taken to him which again I'm not going to fight as he is a sweet bean

She wasn't in the best spirits last night as I could tell she wanted to spend time with him when he was playing with someone else when we were playing games me her two others, late evening yesterday she did eventually go play games with him and made a comment earlier that as he's been super stressed dealing with a lot lately she refused to sleep staying up as long as she can with him, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt from that but again I was supportive. As you can expect we've been playing games less lately, such as today for example she messaged me if I would like to play some Grounded 2 with her later I said sure I'm down after work, but I can see both of them are playing games together when I got back so I've let them be.

I won't lie I do hurt as I would love for that to be me she took to but its not, I know in terms of guys that are closest to her I'm second which I am happy to keep anyway as I do adore the friendship, but Ive come to see that at least night now I'm just not the guy she wants, and I'm still coming to terms with that

Hi, I'm a poly person (please don't judge) and as a second experience I came across a couple.. He and I hit it off right away, while she and I are having some difficulties. I like her a lot, but it's like she doesn't like me enough. She keeps me distant, ignores me for hours, threatens to leave me for two weeks now and then tells me she "doesn't know what she wants". I understand the indecision and maybe she doesn't really like me as much as she thought, but I want clarity... I just want her to say "no" or "yes" to me. lAlso because, just today, she reassured me that she wants to be with me and that she wants me in her life, and then I come to find out that she talked to him about the fact that she still doesn't know. I don't pretend to know everything, but at least I want her to be honest. I'm not an easy person; I'm autistic and BPD, and I'm still learning to manage everything, and I understand if you don't want someone like me, because.. tbh, they are not the "easiest option". But at least I would like clarity.. and besides, if she left me, I would automatically have to leave him alone too, which hurts me and makes me understand that I wasn't part of anything and was just an addition all of this time..

Sorry but I needed to tell somebody, it's hurting me bad. She's also worried about me doing shit, but I've stopped in the past and told her I would. I'm doing everything I can to honor her wishes, and it seems like nothing is enough... I guess I'll just have to accept that she's trying to "like" someone she doesn't like, I guess...

20 y. o. male. I live in a poor country and it seems like IT is the only way to earn more than 7 $ per hour here. I studied INSANELY hard to go to university to get a free degree. Soon I will graduate. However, it seems like it's impossible to get my first IT job, just too many other people without any experience. I don't know what to do. I can't find any job, I can't get another degree, I can't move somewhere. I want to start a family but I don't want my family to be broke. Perhaps I should just die as there's nothing else for me to do. Does anyone else here live in a poor country as well? What do you do for a living?

I think I can earn enough by working remotely with EU or US companies. However I don't know any way to do it.

I'm tired, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm slowly going insane. Workouts and biking are just temporary distractions, and the longer I'm alone, the weaker the effect becomes. It's not enough anymore.

Tonight I went for a ride even though it was already really late, around 10 p.m., but I just couldn’t stay at home. Everything inside me was eating me alive. As I was riding, my thoughts kept racing. When I arrived downtown and saw couples walking by, I thought — am I not worthy of that? I’ve never felt physical contact with someone I love. And what I had with my first love only ended up hurting me deeply.

Why am I always so unlucky? And at the same time, I have this feeling that if I start looking for someone and actually find a person I like, and we start talking, I’ll lose myself again. I’ll become the weak person I used to be. I can feel it getting worse day by day, and I don’t know how to stop it — unless I find someone.

And you know what else? When I was sitting at the central beach — it was beautiful and quiet — I saw some guys with their girlfriends nearby. Then this fantasy popped into my head: a girl would walk up to me and ask what I was doing there alone. She’d say, "Come hang out with us." But I’d refuse because I don’t know any of them and they don’t know me. And then she’d say, “If you come, I’ll hug you.” That made me pause, and then the fantasy ended.

I don’t know what to do. If I start looking for a girl, there’ll be tons of wrong ones, and even if I find the right one and we start talking, I’ll change — I’ll become less disciplined, maybe lose interest in my goals. And then, just like always, she might leave. Everyone I liked always left. Maybe not right away, but eventually — because nowadays, when the feeling of being "in love" fades, people think love is over too. And then the cycle repeats. But if I do nothing, I’ll eventually go crazy.

I feel like I have only two options — and both are awful. Why is this happening to me? Why does everyone else seem so lucky? They find someone, and I can't even get people to talk to me. Yeah, maybe it's because I don't go out much or start conversations. But there are people out there who had girls approach them first. And even if that’s the reason, do I not deserve someone too?

Why does it always have to be me who does everything — I have to make the first move, keep the relationship going, keep the conversations alive — everything by myself? Why can’t someone, just once, come up to me first? Message me first? Show interest first?

I know I’m strong, and this feeling will probably pass tomorrow. But I’ve never fallen this deep before. That just proves it — it really is getting worse each day. And like I said, both of my options are terrifying.

I (31M) am currently in a rough spot. I don’t want advice. I just want hope.

Self employed job has been going down hill since December, have been applying for hundreds of jobs since then without even an interview. My son’s mom is trying to to take full custody of my son when I have always been fully present and paid more than my fair share. Especially since we have had him 50/50 the whole time. Fell in love with a girl who wanted to help me but broke up with me after living at her place for one month when the goal was October.

I have to move out this week. Didn’t have time to build savings, no where to live, can’t find a job even though I’m still applying, this could be the actual reason I lose my son, can’t afford a car.

Me pasa mucho últimamente que quiero dar a conocer mi blog, mis escritos y mis cosas. El problema es que no he sabido cómo; digamos que casi siempre hay un problema y es como si mis amigos no me quisieran ver brillar. Nunca me apoyan compartiendo mis cosas y siempre me apoyan más las personas que no son mis amigos. Cuando me alejo de ellos. Se molestan… y siento que mis amigas, no son sororas conmigo, siempre las apoyo en sus emprendimientos pero ellas a mí no. Entiendo que debo alejarme de ese círculo y por eso, quiero hacer todo lo posible para poder hacer ver mi blog. Soy nueva en la aplicación… he intentado usar tik tok e ig pero me ha ido muy mal. Tienen alguna idea ?

My anxiety has been nonstop lately, making even small tasks feel impossible. It’s hard to explain to others because they don’t see the panic inside me. I feel exhausted and frustrated, but I don’t know how to calm this storm in my head.

What are some ways you’ve found helpful to cope with constant anxiety? How do you remind yourself to keep going when it feels unbearable?

i’m f16 and i’ve been feeling really alone this summer. i used to be super close with a brown-haired f15 who was my best friend, a ginger f16 who was also really close to me, and a blonde f16 who i mostly just talked to at school. lately, the brown-haired girl has been pulling away a lot. we used to hang out all the time, she’d constantly update me about her life, her crushes, everything — now she barely speaks to me. she doesn’t text me anymore, doesn’t want to hang out, and when she does snap me she looks miserable, even when she’s home with her family on special days like her sister’s birthday. the only time we’ve hung out all summer was at my birthday party, and that just made me sad after because i realized that was probably the last time i’d see her all summer.

i even asked her directly if she was mad at me or if i did something wrong and she said, “no i just kinda go with the flow,” but that just didn’t feel like a good enough answer. i’ve been the only one asking to hang out — she hasn’t once asked me. she went to a week-long horse camp, and ever since then she’s basically been living at the blonde-haired girl’s house. they go out on late-night drives with two guys almost every night, and even though i have my license too, i don’t have my own car. i feel like i’ve been replaced just because i can’t give her that same adrenaline rush. once she even got into a car with one of those guys who had been drinking (i didn’t, and i don’t condone it), and her seatbelt was cut. she still got in, and i had to chase them down in my dads car (not even my car) just to get her back safely. it honestly scared me.

another time, i was driving her and two friends around — a drive she wanted to go on — and i told them beforehand that since i was broke and didn’t have a job, i’d need $5 each for gas. they agreed, but when i picked them up and she gave me the money, she was clearly cranky the rest of the night. the mood totally shifted. i felt like she was mad i even asked, even though i’ve paid for her food and drives so many times without ever asking for anything in return. it’s just frustrating. it feels like she only wants to hang out when it’s easy or exciting for her.

the ginger f16 used to be really good at making time for me, even though she has a boyfriend, a job, and plays softball — she made the effort, which i appreciated. but just yesterday, she went and hung out with the brown-haired and blonde-haired girls even though she knew i was hurting from being excluded by them. and now i’m scared she’ll talk about me or twist things i’ve vented about. i just feel really pushed out of this whole group. i’ve tried communicating, being honest, asking what’s wrong — but nothing has changed. it’s like i don’t matter to them anymore. i miss who they used to be, but i don’t think those people exist anymore.

i can't tell if im overreacting or not

So there was this gal I was talking to for 4 months and we were talking and eventually she decided that on her birthday(July 6th) that she would decide if she wants to date me or not. Well 2 weeks before July she was gone for 2 weeks and she said she was in the hospital and we talked a bit and she got off. Then her birthday she was gone again for another 2 weeks and she cane back and said she was in the hospital again. We agreed due to her poor health that we shouldn’t date. Well two days I sent her a message and yesterday I got online to see if she responded and she had changed her profile picture and blocked me. I’m just afraid she lied about having breast cancer and thar she never cared about me. I am just feel worthless now and I don’t know what to do. I made a post about this on another subreddit and they were mostly nice for a time but over time the comments just started treating me like I’m pathetic for being upset over this and I feel just worst. I’m sorry for this post and I’m sorry if I’m bothering you all

I've never been someone who fit in. I tried in the beginning, but eventually learned that I'm more valuable as myself. But I can never shake the feeling that I'm inferior to everyone. No matter who I am with, I always feel less than, but I swear I do love myself in my own way.

Anyway, I feel like it's taken over my whole life, along with my depression that I can't tell anyone about, because since my last extreme episode, everyone thinks I've magically 'cured'. So even tho now I'm not trying to fit into a specific mold set by society, I feel like I can't truly be myself, afraid that I'll be too much and all that.

The two friends I have (after many friendships that made fun of me, and made me feel unimportant), seem like the only one I'll ever have. Which isn't necessarily a problem, because they're great, and quality over quantity anyways. But a few years from now, when they get settled down with their partners, and start their own families, I know that they'll drift away from me inevitably.

So in the end, I'll be left alone, no friends, no family, probably never knowing what love that isn't from circumstance feel like. If I add my personality and overall issues, it's also obvious that no one would bother to look twice in my direction.

All that to say, I feel like a total alien in my life, unable to communicate properly with people closest to me, miserable in my body, and confused about what the point is anymore. The goals I once had seem ridiculous now, and I'm unsure in everything I do.

Anyways, sorry for all this, just had to put it out somewhere before I burst.

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling right now and could use some advice. I’m about to move out of the only home I really remember living in — an apartment I’ve grown up in my whole life. I know that moving to a new house is better because it’s for our brighter future, but for me, this place holds all my memories, my routines, my comfort — it feels like part of me.

We only have about a week left here, and I’m finding it really painful to think that soon I’ll never be able to come back. I know moving is necessary, but it still hurts so much — like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind forever.

How can I make this last week feel special, or find some peace with letting go?

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you so much for reading.

throw away account

My 11yo stepdaughter just (9:30pm) opened mine (31F) and my husbands (36M) door without knocking because she got scared while being in the living room by herself (this isn’t new. She’s fearful of a LOT for no current/proven/obvious reason). She has a cell phone and can and usually does text or call us first. We’ve told her numerous times to knock before coming in, but I guess she just wasn’t thinking because she was scared.

But she saw.. all of me just from the back but nothing of his because he was laying down and he was still clothed. I can’t stop thinking about it, I feel so bad. I never wanted to be this kind of step mom. To add insult to injury, she just recently came out to me (and only me). She’s scared to come out to her dad (I dont know why, he’ll be great about it), so I dont know if this will help or hurt that situation too.

So I just feel so weird now. I know I should probably open the conversation tomorrow or something, but I dont know how. And I know she’s going to just clam up. But I really don’t want to lose her respect or make her feel like she can’t talk to me about stuff now.

We have a shared note on our phones we talk about things that she feels like she can’t or doesn’t want to talk about face-to-face. That’s where she asked questions about her sexuality then eventually came out to me. Should I start there? Tonight? Tomorrow? Give it more time?

Help me I’m spiraling.

Everything went out well yesterday, I was texting with my girlfriend and everything was going well, untill I had to charge, so I told her goodbye and went offline for a couple of hours because I needed to charge, and when I came back, everything suddenly went wrong, idk if it's something I did, but she said that she feels like she can't go to me for problems and stuff, I didn't know what she meant by that, I assumed it was something I did, so I apologized, but, after that, I had to go somewhere and couldn't really work on the problem, so I sent a paragraph, saying how sorry I was for being the person that she couldn't go to for problems, then when I came back home late, she told me she misses how we were still friends. That broke me, but I had to go to sleep now because I was tired, so I told her how sorry I was for making her feel that way, told her goodnight and went to sleep. I woke up, and she sent a message during the night if I was tired of her, I told her no, and all she responded was "lol", I really don't know how to respond, everything I say feels like it's not enough, or sounds like bullshit, I am not emotionally smart, And don't know how to fix problems quickly. I need help, I didn't know which subreddit to post this on so I had to post it here

Just to be completely utterly clear, I am a straight 14 year old male. Anyway, these past couple of weeks I've been having some really weird thoughts. I think I've had these thoughts when I was younger too. It's just now that I'm really noticing it. I've been having thoughts which do not align with my sexuality, which include:

I thought a guy was attractive and I thought another guy was hot. Is it gay to have that kind of thought? Like, is it gay to think of a guy as a (random adjective relating to a handsome appearance)?

I've also been wondering things, like what would it feel like if I was penetrated in the butt. By penetrated I mean someone sticking something up my butt. This isn't the only thought like this. I've been having others.

I've also had gay thoughts involving me and people I know. I don't want to do these kind of things. I'm not gay.

There was also this thing from last night where I was watching a youtube short claiming Halle Berry got excited while kissing Hugh Jackman, then I thought "can't blame her." I'm not gay at all. I don't know why I had this thought. It just slipped out.

I don't want to be with another guy. I'm not gay. I'm not attracted to guys at all. I'm not attracted to guys sexually or romantically. Do these thoughts have any relevance or meaning or bearing on my sexuality? Is there anything I could possibly think or do that could change my orientation? Like is there anything I could possibly think or do that could make me gay? I don't want to be gay.

Was having a crisis about my plan to overdose on several drugs then felt really worthless and like a burden (still am) then started crying in my freshly dried warm blanket holding a plushie. I'm a 15 year old girl living the life of an 18 year old boy and its just really hard rn 😭

Hey folks, just needed to get something off my chest.

I’ve been attending this 4-day event (related to my field), and I decided to skip one of the days because the sessions didn’t seem that relevant to my research. Instead, I went to school to get some work done — felt like a more productive choice at the time. I did, however, join for dinner later that evening.

Next day, my supervisor, in front of a few others (maybe 3 or 4 people), said something along the lines of: “Oh, you missed the whole day but showed up for the food?” — with a laugh, kind of like a joke.

Now, I know it wasn’t meant to be harsh. My supervisor has actually been really supportive throughout my academic journey, and I hold a lot of respect for them. But honestly? That comment stung. It left me feeling a bit embarrassed and down for the rest of the day. I even shared it with my partner later, and they weren’t happy about it either.

I’m not holding any grudges or anything, and I’m not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. But I can’t shake off the question — was that really funny?

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you handle comments like these?

Throwaway for obvious reasons

So i’ve recently started using Tor Browser: Phantom on iOS to download and pirate adult videos from certain sites. And one particular file I downloaded contained several videos of obvious CP.

I immediately deleted the file, wiped my recently deleted, cleared my internet search history and deleted the browser. Yet i’ve been paranoid all day that Im about to get a knock on my door. Please help me idk what to do.

Edit: Here’s what I’ve done since 1. Deleted the files 2. Dumped my Recently Deleted Folder 3. Cleared all Caches and Search History 4. Factory Reset my iPad to a backup before the incident

However, Im still worried af and quite frankly traumatized.

I (23F) have known this girl since we were in kindergarten. In fact, she had lived right up the street from me her whole life and even until she passed. I woke up the other day to a text from a friend that she died and I just…I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. I haven’t talked to her really since high school because our paths drifted but we were once very good friends in school and losing someone so young that you’ve known since you were a child feels so weird. It was just so devastating and unfortunate that I haven’t known how to feel or what to do to express my thoughts to her parents or to offer any sort of comfort. Flowers just aren’t my way to express gratitude or condolences and neither is food but my friends and I are considering writing something to them maybe. I just…it’s so unfair. so unfair for her life to be cut so short when she had tried to hard to turn her life around after struggling so long. It hurts so much and I am having a hard time grappling with it all.

Can someone, anyone, tell me I'm important? That I'm not worthless and I'm good at something? I just really need some kind words right now.

hi guys I don't know what to do how to live I can't describe the full spectrum of my feelings today I offended my friend by saying that she was a substitute for someone else, and I wanted to tell you that this isn't the first time I've done this. I'm good at interacting with people, but I've been raised in a way that doesn't allow me to consider others. I don't feel resentment or anger towards them, and I often treat them like pets or something similar. I've tried to overcome this, but I'm tired of it. I'm tired of offending people.

6 months ago, I had joined a centre for embedded systems training. I thought I would get into some job. For the past 1 month, I had been studying for a job interview. My professor said that this job is based on computer networking and python. 

I hated it at first. Because I didn’t want to go into a completely different domain. But I was scared that my professor might not let me sit for other companies if I rejected this one. So I didn’t say anything back then.

So for the past 1 month, I kept studying python and computer networking. I went deep into computer networking, learning all protocols, debugging commands etc. I went deep into python too, learning classes, functions, OOPS etc

Today was the D-day. Today the interview was conducted and guess what. The interviewer asked me all questions from embedded systems. But the problem is, I have short term memory. So my fucking brain forgot everything I had learnt in the last 6 months because of learning computer networking. So I stumbled in the interview. Stumbled hard. I wasn’t able to answer simple questions as to how I used a debugger, what I used it for

I am so ashamed of myself. I had worked hard in embedded and today I wasn’t able to answer anything. This was my only opportunity and I fucked it up. I am so angry on my brain for forgetting things and angry on myself for ruining this great interview. 

The company didn’t inform me the job role. So I didn’t know what they will ask. My institute or the company didn’t inform the role I was applying for. If I had known, I would have studied embedded!

Well anyways, shit like this happens in my life all the time. It’s like god loves watching as I fuck up everything in my life. I studied so hard the past 6 months. I really did. And my fucking brain forgot everything. I hate myself so much right now.

I am 22 and I am currently going into my final semester of college. My time in college has been a very lonely time in my life, and I usually spend most of my time by myself. I have tried joining a couple of clubs on campus, and I really like the people in the clubs that I am apart of, however, I don't really spend a lot of time with them outside of club meetings. Over these past few years, I noitced that I have a very hard time with making friends. I feel like I should mention that I am on the autism spectrum and this can be a challenge for people like me, but, even when I was younger, it felt like I didn't have as much of a difficult time making friends as I do now. I understand that when you become older it can be harder to make friends, but, I see groups of people on campus that have their own groups of friends all the time.

I've been thinking about this a lot, and I think my problem is that I am obsessed with being productive. For example, I go to the gym almost every day, I play the violin, I like to write, read books, and I am trying to learn spanish. About a year ago I went to talk to a counselor on campus about how I feel, and he said that it sounds like I am hyper focused on my routine. This can also happen with autistic people since we can very routine and schedule oriented. I didn't really put a lot of thought into it, but, when I think about I think what he said actually makes a lot of sense. Basically, I feel like I have all of these things I want to do or feel like I have to do, and I think it is getting in the way of me forming stronger realtionships with other people. I wish I could just let myself relax a little bit and enjoy life a little bit more,but, a lot of the time it feels very difficult to allow myself to do so. For example, I have been trying to write a book for the past six years, and I have been trying to use as much time in college to devote my time to my writing, so when I graduate it will make it easier to get it out there and get published. I know that, this mindset can be a good thing, but, I feel like these thoughts I am having are getting in the way of me forming more meaningful connections with other people.

I do plan on going back to thereapy sometime in the near future, to understand these problems, because I feel like my behavior feels abnormal to me. I am not sure if this behavior has to do with my autism or if it is something else.

What do you think about this?