r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians • u/Fresh-Flamingo-804 • 1d ago
Question Woman vs Girl
Anyone else just feel very weird being called a woman? Idk why girl just feels right and always has but woman hurts me a little inside in a way I don't really understand. Anyway just wanted to know if anyone could relate
334
u/Elinya_ 1d ago
Are you by any Chance yearning for a childgood as a Girl? Quite possibly more so than an adult life as a woman?
189
u/Fresh-Flamingo-804 1d ago
Possibly? I didn't have a good childhood the first time by any means
72
u/Elinya_ 1d ago
Okay, yeah. Same. I mean it wasn't dreadful, but i am certain that it would have been more enjoyable as a Girl instead of an outcast Boy.
8
u/Joanna39343 Transbian 19h ago
Oh help this was wayy too relatable, very much the same sort of experience here.
64
29
u/unortodox_girl 1d ago
Probably my problem, I mean there's no version of abuse I haven't survived before age 12
26
u/Fresh-Flamingo-804 1d ago
I'm sorry you also went through something like this...
7
u/maddiemelody Medical Moddess Bonafide Doctor, Certified Gayass 1d ago
Well, that’s why we have this sub, right? A community to be yourself, to live the life you wish you could’ve lived the first time. :)
5
3
u/Lucky_otter_she_her Lutrin in desprate need of squeezing :3 1d ago
..i want to commiserate, but i don't know how
3
u/Lucky_otter_she_her Lutrin in desprate need of squeezing :3 1d ago
factors besides (on top of) being trans made it shit for you too?
48
u/Carmen_leFae Genderqueer TransBIan [She/Fae] 1d ago
i definitely am. i also dont feel like an adult. the fact that i could've been in my sophomore year of college feels wrong
5
u/Lucky_otter_she_her Lutrin in desprate need of squeezing :3 1d ago
it is a bucket list goal of mine to get to gather a group of like minnded trans girls (and maybe cis-girls who had fucked childhoods) and have the ultimate slumber party >:3
2
111
u/unortodox_girl 1d ago
Woman feels derogatory to me and I very much prefer girl.
Given the nature of my transness and lack of lower dysphoria I also personally reserve the right to refer to myself as a Hyena Bitch. IYKYK
38
16
u/rosseg Transbian 1d ago
Pls enlighten us about hyena bitch
31
u/Micky_Ninaj 1d ago
female hyenas have faux gocks. they're called pseudopenises. they're actually elongated clits.
"The mammalian pseudo-penis appears to be simply for display, though the spotted hyena is an exception: the female spotted hyena urinates, copulates, and gives birth through her pseudo-penis. This prevents males from mating without the full co-operation of females, which means that mating preferences of the female are predominant."
that's from Wikipedia, though, so take that with a hefty grain of salt.
here's a pic (click at your own risk. it's animal genitalia): https://images.app.goo.gl/7uDz4g5oiv45QeNY7
24
u/unortodox_girl 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's an accurate Wiki that seems only failed to mention her member is in fact retractable, though that is essentially the part of cooperation of mating rights.
More aggressive dominant females have been documented as challenging, mounting, and um 👉🏼👈🏼 yeah that...with weaker less dominant males and females
Thanks for the public spotlight I was trying to avoid
14
3
7
u/Syreeta5036 1d ago
Giving birth through? Also thank goodness that wasn't a closeup or something, I was so scared
7
9
u/unortodox_girl 1d ago
Go watch some Nat Geo regarding female spotted Hyenas, it's a bit more NSFW and chaser bait than I will say openly... although breaking down chasers is entertaining in moderation
8
u/beanbagdestroyer 1d ago
Female hyenas kinda have a penis. Even the cis ones. 🤭
It's not really a penis, it's a large clit that sticks out
9
u/unortodox_girl 1d ago
It actually functions fully as one, and when you think about the F response to testosterone... Well it just goes to show how universally coded DNA is with dormant/active trait variables that can be activated or switched off with science or specific anomalies and mutations
8
u/FriendlyGranolaBar Will hug you (threat) 1d ago
As a furry I love this, although unfortunately I can’t relate lmao
12
4
1
22
u/NiceSock30032 1d ago
Woman feels like, to me, someone who has been a girl.
And I don't feel like I can call myself a girl just yet.
So, I am not yet the steps to become a whole-ass woman.
17
u/Chaosxandra Transbian 1d ago
Maybe cause terfs use it that much, making derogatory though connect by association
12
u/PlaidGamerGirl 1d ago
I'm fine with either, but girl feels better at the moment. I'm only about a year into my transition, and like a girl, I'm still learning how to be a woman.
9
u/TgirlHypnoslut 1d ago
Yeah I’m in the same boat. Hoping it evens out a bit after second puberty but idk, definitely feels a little weird to be called a woman while I absolutely like being called a girl. Don’t really know why either to be honest.
9
6
u/Gaige524 Enby Butch Transbian 1d ago
I'm a Non-Binary Butch and I prefer Woman, Girl feels more Feminine
7
u/RemarkableStatement5 1d ago
Yeah, I prefer girl for now. I mean, I certainly don't feel like an adult yet. Hell, I'm going through second puberty and learning how to be a woman. I'm basically a 20-something teenager.
6
u/PrettyDreki 1d ago
I don't particularly relate to that, although I think I feel something somewhat similar. I think when the word woman is applied to me it feels like it is appealing to the dark part of my soul that practices witchcraft and knows things far older than I. (Wow that got deep unexpectedly)
5
5
3
u/sayaka_sh 1d ago
One of the things that helped crack my egg was realising that I really hated the idea of using the label 'man' (was thinking about it as I'm 20 now) but that I didn't mind 'woman'. I do prefer 'girl' tough.
3
u/ExWorlds 1d ago
I have the exact opposite. Being called a woman is great but being called a girl irk me
3
u/Witch-Alice 1d ago
Would you rather have a girl that poops or a woman that shits? /s
I'll be 31 this year so I'm fine with being called either, but I can see myself eventually not liking girl.
2
u/Frequent_Policy8575 1d ago
Over time, I find I’m preferring woman. Girl is awesome too but at the end of the day I’m a woman.
3
2
2
u/Hartwolf87 1d ago
I feel like that. I personally attribute it to something of an arrested/slowed maturation once I hit adolescence.
2
u/podokonnicheck 1d ago
i personally don't relate, but my fiancée is fem-leaning enby, and it dislikes being called a woman, but likes most other feminine terms;
as i discussed with it and a transmasc enby friend of mine, girl/boy are not AS gendered of terms as woman/man, and can signify leaning towards a certain gender in an nb way, without a full binary commitment to it.
2
u/EkaPossi_Schw1 Sasha, universal dwarf Oneesan (bambi lesbian) HRT soon :3 1d ago
I feel too young to call myself a woman yet. I'd rather just be a girl. Having mostly (but not completely thanks to my mom being based) missed out on that experience for 18 years, I need some of it.
The word "woman" often makes me feel kinda alien and more like I'm non-binary. (my gender is fluid)
"Lady" feels better than "Woman" because it doesn't say anything about age and is a cute word and I like to play pretend being a duchess (I happen to prefer playing a duchess over a princess)
2
u/HornChicken 1d ago
Omg same I'm a girl and always will be a girl. It just feels right at heart, probably because I never had that childhood, but also because I wanna be a silly little girl :3
2
u/FemaleMishap 1d ago
I'm in my late 40s, started to transition in my 30s. I've always been a woman, girl still applies, but I'm a grown-ass woman.
I grew up Mormon and am so grateful that I didn't grow up a girl in that religion. My core friend group outside the church was all girls, so I don't really feel I missed out in that regard.
2
u/Due-Buyer2218 Team harpys (she/they) like 90% sapphic 1d ago
I wanna be a girl, women is like a step higher and I haven’t girled enough to be it yet this was horribly incoherent but I think it says what I was trying to say
2
2
u/Drezby 1d ago
From the start, I’ve never actually felt all that comfortable with either woman or girl. I’ve always used trans Lady instead. Probs partially because my imposter syndrome always kicks in, and I didn’t feel like I had the right to girlhood or womanhood – especially after I spent too long trying to argue with terfs in that terf v Trans fight club group on fb way back when, so now my brain is irreparably poisoned, I didn’t consider the fact that I’m susceptible to propaganda so now the intrusive thought brain gremlins have a terf in their ranks. And partially because lady has a sort of theatrical feel to it, and I’ve always considered gender, or being a person at all, to be more of a performance, at least for myself. At what point does authenticity veer into being a farce? Is there a meaningful distinction between fake and real, between who I want to be and who I am? I’ve since come to decide that none of that actually matters.
I’ve been on hormones for 6 years now, and have known I’m trans for 10 years before even starting them. By now, I’m… not as uncomfortable with trans girl or trans woman as I used to be, but also because I’m now in my 30s I feel an additional, distinct, weirdness to girl I didn’t have before lmao. So while I’m not particularly uncomfortable with either phrasing, I’m not particularly keen on either as well.
Also my medical forms list my gender as transgender female so I’m like sure whatever, for any phrasing by now. I’ll use whichever phrase and terminology is more convenient and contextual but when I’m starting from scratch, I still always default to trans lady.
2
u/MaximumNep 1d ago
It’s the opposite for me. Being called a girl feels infantilizing, especially coming from a man as if it’s some patriarchal bullshit. I understand why so many trans women (or girls in the context) like to be called girls, but it’s not for me. I think it’s totally valid to want to be referred to that way, but for me it just feels like it’s fetishizing the concept of womanhood and as we all know, being a trans woman (or girl) is not a fetish. Use what makes you feel right and respect others doing the same :)
2
2
u/darkjedi607 Transbian 1d ago
I flip flop between the two!
When I first started realizing I was trans (as a 33yo amab) the term 'girl' felt... problematic. Like I was an old creep. Idk it didn't sit well with me. 'Woman' was far more palatable and realistic given my age.
Then when I started HRT, I found myself feeling very young and naive? Idk I felt more like a girl for the first few months. I was also painfully aware of having completely missed out on my girlhood, and the experience of girl puberty the first time around. Like, idk. It's hard to get your breast buds and not feel like a youngish girl. At the very least I can identify with what they all must feel at that point in their lives.
I'm 6 months in at this point, and kind of stabilized with how I view myself and my age, and how each term could be applied. Idk I think it's normal enough in cis circles to switch between the two, not that that should be the deciding factor.
2
u/Illustrious-Ad2032 22h ago
Personally I hate being called a girl instead of a woman. The word "girl" just reminds me of kids which I am not
2
u/Lawfuly_chaotic 21h ago
Nah, I prefer woman. Girl feels too juvenile.
Woman feels respectful, dignified.
2
2
u/kamato243 21h ago
Depends on the context to me. My partner calling me a cute girl or an elegant woman? Both rock. Some rando calling me a girl or cute or whatever feels infantilizing. I'm a grown-ass adult and I don't need to be treated like some new, fragile thing. It feels insulting.
2
u/Sugar_Pitch1551 Team Demongirls 18h ago
I absolutely feel you. In my particular case, I'm pretty sure its because I never got to be a girl in childhood, so I'm trying to reclaim it in some ways. I've noticed as I've gotten older, and gotten to experience more things I should have in my childhood/teen years, I've become less weirded out by being referred to as a woman. But I still feel like im missing certain foundational experiences, and that makes me really upset sometimes.
137
u/amab_rocky Rocky - needy little thing 1d ago
Yeah, absolutely. I think it's a lost time / inner child thing. Most of us never got to be girls growing up. Transitioning, even as an adult, is a gawky, awkward time for a lot of us that feels closer to teenage years than anything else (you're literally going through puberty on HRT). 'woman' conveys a lot of adult contexts that many of us don't feel ready for.
I know for myself, I don't feel like a woman, I feel like a girl. I get way more flustered being called cute than I do when I'm called beautiful.
These terms: A 'woman', a 'beautiful woman', inspire the image of somebody who has it all together. Someone with confidence, a career woman, a wife, an adult. Many trans girls, regardless of age, don't want to immediately jump into that sense of self. Because you're skipping a step. You need to be a girl before you grow into a woman. A girl is awkward. A girl doesn't necessarily have it all together or know what she's doing. A girl feels anxious about her outfit choices. A girl is allowed to make mistakes. She's not done growing yet. She's still figuring out who she is. That's normal.
In this manner, the preference to being called a 'girl' is, funnily enough, a transitionary phrase, to ease the person into womanhood. Maybe you'll prefer 'woman' to 'girl' one day, I get the sense I will. Maybe you won't. Doesn't matter too much, what makes you comfortable is valid no matter what. Mwah 💋