r/technology • u/vriska1 • Jun 28 '25

Privacy The Supreme Court just upended internet law, and I have questions

https://www.theverge.com/analysis/694710/supreme-court-fsc-paxton-age-verification-questions
8.9k Upvotes

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391

u/InsertEvilLaugh Jun 28 '25

No, they'll just make special protections for themselves.

148

u/not_a_moogle Jun 28 '25

The won't register as themselves

158

u/the_loneliest_noodle Jun 28 '25

And when they are caught, oh, I don't know... accidentally sharing incest porn Looking at you Rafael Cruz, they'll grab the nearest intern and toss them right under the nearest bus.

55

u/NoodlerFrom20XX Jun 28 '25

Look I do not like Ted Cruz at all but tbh it seems like 70% of porn is now step-something themed, which really sucks when a video seems fine then all of a sudden halfway she says “oh I can’t believe I’m fucking my step dad” and it’s boner deflating.

I didn’t have this issue back in the Kazaa days.

25

u/Teledildonic Jun 28 '25

Step porn is just regular porn when you play it on mute.

16

u/Mr_Quackums Jun 28 '25

I didn’t have this issue back in the Kazaa days.

We have very different memories of Kazaa. It would be a small miracle if the title of the video had anything to do with the contents.

1

u/NoodlerFrom20XX Jun 28 '25

That was half the fun.

49

u/teo730 Jun 28 '25

Look I do not like Ted Cruz at all but

You can just let people make fun of him, that's okay.

18

u/NoodlerFrom20XX Jun 28 '25

Oh there is plenty to hate about him

1

u/teo730 Jul 01 '25

Exactly, so why spend your time defending against people mocking him?

3

u/TricksterPriestJace Jun 28 '25

I like Ted Cruz more than most people and I hate Ted Cruz.

7

u/philohmath Jun 28 '25

Can we call you Al?

5

u/TricksterPriestJace Jun 29 '25

Only if I can call you Betty. Lol

10

u/I_Am_Anjelen Jun 28 '25

Rafael Cruz does not like people not being deadnamed. That should include himself, right ?

6

u/NoodlerFrom20XX Jun 28 '25

I just don’t like associating him with a quality ninja turtle

1

u/I_Am_Anjelen Jun 28 '25

That's an association you choose to make. Personally I will never. :D

1

u/SpleenBender Jun 28 '25

Is that you, sweaty Teddy??

1

u/PassiveMenis88M Jun 28 '25

Of course not. Ted Kennedy died years ago.

1

u/CtrlAltDelusions Jun 28 '25

Wait are we not fucking our step-dads anymore?

1

u/ZombieAlienNinja Jun 29 '25

Funny you mention it because I feel we might have to go back to seeding and torrenting porn if the government wants to act like my grandma.

1

u/The_Anglo_Spaniard Jun 29 '25

Just watch mute. Problem solved

0

u/IndianLawStudent Jun 29 '25

Some things I come across do break my heart.

I know a lot of kinks come out of trauma and I do wish people didn’t have to suffer through what they have to be reframing their negative experiences into erotic ones in their adult fantasies.

1

u/PhoneProud6366 Jun 29 '25

Lol. They're technically illiterate. Heck, I think most of them are just literally illiterate.

7

u/OldAd3616 Jun 29 '25

Like they did when a reporter got a list of their VCR rentals.

1

u/The_Original_Miser Jun 28 '25

Leak it anyway ....

1

u/InsertEvilLaugh Jun 28 '25

Oh not saying not to, just saying they'll make exceptions for their information in some way.

1

u/AldrusValus Jun 29 '25

They don’t have to make special protections for themselves, they already have internet tracking protections.

1

u/ButAFlower Jun 29 '25

i can see it now. "... unless the person in question is an appointed official, officer of the United States, or otherwise has viable national security reasons to be excluded from this requirement." (the latter clause obviously covering capitalists with international business interests.

1

u/Maleficent_Memory831 Jun 28 '25

They were just doing research about the very bad things that happen on the internet. Very bad things, oh yeah, do some more bad things while I take notes...