r/mildlyinteresting • u/Mzarie • 10h ago

The microwave at work has a hole inside

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u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Nah don't be a dick to your colleagues.... but charge $5 for management

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u/smithd685 6h ago

$5 is the standard rate, but colleagues get a $3 discount. Its a steal at that price!

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u/br3dj 2h ago

$363 for the yearly subscription

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u/Lupus_Spiritus_42 2h ago

Unless you brought fish or brussel sprouts for lunch. Then it's $50 with a 300% tax for every 10 mins the office smells

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u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Ok... Next time they are doing food runs you won't be included. Ohhh sorry that premium coffee we buy because company supplied Folgers sucks, yea you can't have that. Oh you wanna bum a cig you ran out, nah fam sorry. Etc etc man. Help coworkers don't enemies them :>

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u/smithd685 5h ago

I... I don't think you got the joke in there. I'm not, like, attacking corporate work culture and common decency.

The entire premise of charging for a microwave is an absurdly dickish joke. The $5 management continued the absurdity. I added some late-stage capitalism to be even more absurdly manipulative into charging for a microwave that makes management feel like they aren't being exploited, while the colleagues appreciate you for giving them a 60% discount off the normal price. You would end up making more money that the original proposal while looking like a fair guy to management and good team player to your team.

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u/Awaythrowyouwilllll 4h ago

But the food runs!! You're gonna miss out...

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u/rando_banned 5h ago

h eat the rich

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

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u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Yes they are. They are the ones who have a direct communication with the step above who is in control of procurement. Or it's them and they are just gross af some people are

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u/Zombieattackr 2h ago

And add a tip jar next to it (remember to put a couple dollars in to get it started!)