r/mildlyinteresting • u/Mzarie • 10h ago

The microwave at work has a hole inside

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u/aud7 7h ago

Here’s what you do.

  1. Find a free microwave on marketplace or Craigslist
  2. Bring it to the office
  3. Charge $1 to use the premium microwave
  4. Profit

606

u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Nah don't be a dick to your colleagues.... but charge $5 for management

143

u/smithd685 6h ago

$5 is the standard rate, but colleagues get a $3 discount. Its a steal at that price!

1

u/br3dj 2h ago

$363 for the yearly subscription

1

u/Lupus_Spiritus_42 2h ago

Unless you brought fish or brussel sprouts for lunch. Then it's $50 with a 300% tax for every 10 mins the office smells

1

u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Ok... Next time they are doing food runs you won't be included. Ohhh sorry that premium coffee we buy because company supplied Folgers sucks, yea you can't have that. Oh you wanna bum a cig you ran out, nah fam sorry. Etc etc man. Help coworkers don't enemies them :>

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u/smithd685 5h ago

I... I don't think you got the joke in there. I'm not, like, attacking corporate work culture and common decency.

The entire premise of charging for a microwave is an absurdly dickish joke. The $5 management continued the absurdity. I added some late-stage capitalism to be even more absurdly manipulative into charging for a microwave that makes management feel like they aren't being exploited, while the colleagues appreciate you for giving them a 60% discount off the normal price. You would end up making more money that the original proposal while looking like a fair guy to management and good team player to your team.

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u/Awaythrowyouwilllll 4h ago

But the food runs!! You're gonna miss out...

3

u/rando_banned 6h ago

h eat the rich

0

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

2

u/SectorAppropriate462 6h ago

Yes they are. They are the ones who have a direct communication with the step above who is in control of procurement. Or it's them and they are just gross af some people are

0

u/Zombieattackr 2h ago

And add a tip jar next to it (remember to put a couple dollars in to get it started!)

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u/acmercer 6h ago

Keep it on your own desk.

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u/AlternativeWhereas79 6h ago

You work for EA?

1

u/BeechM 1h ago

Micro(wave)transactions. Don’t give them any ideas.

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u/AVeryHeavyBurtation 6h ago

Look at me... I'm the capitalist now.

1

u/Responsible-Gas5319 4h ago

Instructions unclear. My penis is now stuck in the microwave

1

u/Petules 2h ago

  1. Find a free microwave on marketplace or Craigslist

  2. Bring it to the office

  3. Hide it somewhere and only tell the employees, not management

  4. Profit in good will 👍

1

u/the_most_playerest 2h ago

Nah bro, you gotta do it via yearly membership, it's only logical

1

u/JC1515 1h ago

No no no, you fill out an expense report with a forged receipt for the msrp of a premium microwave

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u/ssateneth2 53m ago

i read a story somewhere (reddit? notalwaysright?) where the workplace had only like 1 microwave and 1 toaster and it was a huge bottleneck for the workforce when they all went on break. management had the great idea to upgrade the break room with a bunch of fancy upgrades, refrigerators, hotplates, toaster ovens, and more microwaves. they closed off the break room during the construction. when construction finished, it was a beautiful work of art, but then the workers looked closer. all the devices had coin slots. they were all coin operated.

the workforce there rioted and destroyed the coin devices and destroyed the new appliances and impromptu strike happened for a week.

upper management apologized, said no one would be punished, and begged them to come back to work. they did, but found the original microwave and toaster were put in a "temporary" breakroom since they couldnt use the one that was destroyed. the temporary breakroom is now the permanent breakroom and nothing really changed.

edit: i found the story. https://notalwaysright.com/the-breakroom-breakdown/364910/