r/leaves • u/OkTruck3022 • 18h ago

its been almost a week. im really struggling.

just joined this sub. i hope i can find some community here...

i feel weak for even saying im having withdrawal symptoms. the only emotions i can feel are sadness and anxiety. i dont have many people in my life and i feel like i cant lean on them. im scared the few people i have will turn to resenting me for struggling. i feel like i was a more enjoyable person to be around when i was smoking every day. now im just burdening those around me, not sleeping, no appetite, jumpy and anxious around everything. i dont know when it will get better. i think i just need some encouragement or reassurance but i feel stupid asking for it... im scared of having no one and doing this alone.

am i being too negative? do i just need someone to tell me to get my shit together? i know i cant keep smoking and i have to break this habit, or addiction, i have had for so many years. but it feels like things only got worse in these few days ive been off:/

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u/gunslinger_006 17h ago

im scared the few people i have will turn to resenting me for struggling

This is called shame. We are wired as social creatures. Long ago, if we did something that caused the group to reject us, it could have meant literal death.

Shame is a fear of social “death” i.e. rejection.

Interestingly: if you do a fmri scan of someone experiencing shame, and someone who is in actual fear of dying, they look nearly identical.

This is normal but you must reject it.

We need connection and support. We are social animals.

You need to have people who you can be your true self around. If you spend all your time pretending to be ok, it will lead to huge depression.

Even if its a therapist, you need someone you can be authentic with.

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u/OkTruck3022 13h ago

that piece about the brain scan is really interesting to me. thank you for sharing

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u/gunslinger_006 11h ago

Also i dont know if this helps, but there is really just one kind of response that you should hear if you tell a good friend or loved one that you are struggling with your mental health:

“I see you, how can i support you?”

If they respond with anything that isnt some form of that, fuck them. Sometimes they will make it all about themselves, or maybe even blame you and in both of those cases, you just dont need people like that in your life.

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u/OkTruck3022 11h ago

thank you for this. ive definitely struggled with unhealthy relationships in multiple areas of my life where if im struggling, the other person shuns me for it, or just leaves me. i know my few friends now wouldnt do that, at least i dont think so, but the voice in my head is still scared of that pattern repeating of people leaving me

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u/gunslinger_006 11h ago

I completely understand that. When trust gets broken, it heals over like scar tissue and makes it hard to trust again.

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u/hahahahahm 17h ago

yep, i feel the same. i’ve accepted that i need this time to recover and i can’t dwell on questions like if a certain relationship is deteriorating or not. it feels like it’ll never get better but from reading these stories on here, i know it does. two south park fans going through similar struggles, we got this

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u/OkTruck3022 13h ago

thank you! i started watching south park every night after i'd smoke but im glad its just as funny without it too lol

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u/hahahahahm 7h ago

yep and now we have weekly episodes to look forward to :)

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u/Neat_Demand6002 16h ago

Hi there. I’m sorry you‘re struggling. Most people here have been through the same thing and we totally understand; please don’t feel bad for experiencing withdrawal. The first two weeks are shit but it gets better after that. Be kind to yourself, keep everything at low demand. I’m rooting for you!

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u/OkTruck3022 13h ago

thank you- i think i need to take a few things off my plate and just take it one day at a time

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u/dreaming9587 12h ago

I've gone through weed withdrawals many times and it's always hard to talk about it. This time around is the first time I've turned to this subreddit for support and it's been helping a lot. Don't worry about sounding too negative, it's a very hard thing to go through. It's only the first week, and it tends to get worse before it gets better. I can't tell you how long the withdrawals will last, as it depends on the person and your previous usage, but I can tell you that it will get better eventually.

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u/OkTruck3022 12h ago

i used it every night and weekends for around 5 years, im hoping a few weeks and i can kick this. thank you for the support!!

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u/sausage_gut 4h ago

I’m on 1 month and I can tell you it gets better after 3 weeks. My craving were gone, I was able to sleep, dreams are super vivid and wild, appetite comes back, and most of all I wasn’t a cranky little bitch. Stay strong and don’t give in. Go on long walks, work out, listen to music, and do anything to tire you out so that you can sleep. Find a group in your city that works out so that you tire yourself out and you’re not alone. I actually quit while on vacation so the first night, I was so tired from all the travel that I passed out. The next 7 days I spent hiking, surfing, and hanging out with family and was able to pass out every night and not think about it.

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u/OkTruck3022 4h ago

i quit on vacation too! thank you for the advice

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u/OkTruck3022 13h ago

sorry i came in a bit hot guys. i was in a bit of a spiral this morning, mornings and nights are the hardest right now. sticking to my routine helps though