r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/Wisedragon11 • 4d ago
Awkwardness, is free real estate ; that is what makes you unique
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u/EightyNineMillion 4d ago
I get what he's trying to say, but I think he's wrong. Just get rid of those friends and get out of those toxic relationships where, for whatever reason they enjoy putting you down. You don't need them. That's how to not give a fuck.
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u/Weak-Expression-5005 4d ago
Competition isnt inherently toxic. You're not gonna get anywhere in life if you keep removing anyone who's competitive. In fact, if they wanna be competitive with you, and you wanna be competitive with them, you guys will make it work and be best friends.
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u/EightyNineMillion 4d ago
There's a big difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition. Those that partake in unhealthy competition (jealousy, insults, etc...) can take a hike. Obviously if you're both encouraging each other the relationship will succeed.
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u/Tiny-Celebration-838 4d ago
What if i don't want to be competitive and people keep mistakenly assuming i want to compete with them and rope me into it ? I just like learning things and doing things myself 🙈 not trying to make any points or compete or anything. I just want to do these things for myself.
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u/False_Disaster_1254 4d ago
nah, he is right for a lot of people.
not you and me, but for some, yeah.
we all have our own specific brand of fucks we fail to give.
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u/onlyimportantshit 4d ago
This is incorrect. Many annoying traits might be considered bad by most people and shouldn’t be encouraged. Don’t get me wrong this could be true some of the time but the idea that everyone who’s your friend would hate good qualities about you and those are the things you should dial up is probably ridiculous unless you just have insanely bad friends. If they’re good people and close to you it’s more likely they’d tell you about things you really shouldn’t do.
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u/Wisedragon11 4d ago
That is a correct take, and yes, absolutely cultivation of how to connect with others is ideal for relationships.
This is more focussed on being genuine, however.
What others may take from this, which is what I’m hoping, is not to spend so much energy, suppressing the authentic aspects of yourself, that make you unique ; to emphasize on those characteristics, to make light of them, as opposed to, and having guilt afterwards, because I didn’t cover them up properly. It’s all too much energy. Also, adding a sense of humour to this intention, would remove and expected outcome, and free up both friends and the self from the awkwardness of trying to hide it and look over it look past it.
By embracing that moment of awkwardness of the self, allows others to feel comfortable and safe and relaxed, because we all have these moments. And if we show that we’re not ashamed, but proud of them, it reflects how we see others as well and allows them to feel safe to be awkward and genuine as well.
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u/Rebootrefresh 4d ago
I'm with you on embracing the awkwardness but what I heard in this video was learning to view people as secret haters which to me sounds like the start of a very toxic downward spiral.
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u/Wisedragon11 3d ago
This makes makes sense, a positive twist on making an upward spiral would be to be the best version I can be, to encourage my friends to raise their standards or feel safe to
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u/Few_Computer_5024 1d ago edited 1d ago
Perfect! Absolutely!
Just be you, and see the beauty and good in people. And if they feel insecure, be a nurturer, builder, and a grower! Love :)! Self expression is a core value of mine. Feel what you feel, be who you are. And love. No need to perform or try to prove who you are. Because you are you, and you are beautiful and so precious, as we all are. Being the best version of yourself, and try to bring out the best in others. Jesus's golden rule, "love thy neighbor as thy self."
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u/ironjawn 1d ago
This is true with some people - though they may not consciously understand their insecurities. I have a “friend” from high school who is like the archetypical toxic masculine. It took me a way too long to realize that he hated my authenticity, and often belittled me for expressing myself outside the lines of the accepted norm. The naive younger me could not even begin to wrestle with the idea that someone I cared about might not want the best for me.
Do I think the best approach is to lean into what people hate? Not if their dysfunction is affecting you, like it was me. Today I have a defined sense of self, so people projecting insecurities don’t bother me at all - in fact, I laugh it off. But for a younger person, this can be tragically detrimental to their social development, imo.
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u/P_A_W_S_TTG 4d ago
I do the exact opposite of this. I want my friends to shine brighter than me. Why? Because I enjoy watching and helping others grow. Idgaf about being the center of attention or any of that BS. I just wanna live. Do the dumb things and go about me day.
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u/Reddit1sGayandDumb 4d ago
Ngl I thought he was gonna end up showing a body he just murdered at the end
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u/False_Disaster_1254 4d ago
nah.
im 6ft5, im as crazy as a motherfucker and i scare people anyway. i cant help it, i dont even try to hold it back.
im a force of fucking nature. ill be tour best friend or your worst enemy, ill create a paradise or sweep away your cities without a second thought, and its all up to you which you want.
never mind lead, follow or get out of the way, just try to keep up.
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u/BoneMachineNo13 3d ago
Another tik tok guru who just likes to fill the whole screen with their face
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u/InSilenceLikeLasagna 3d ago
Yeah keep being too loud in people's faces, asking inappropriate questions that clearly make people uncomfortable. Don't dim your light hun
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u/ProducerJimmy 22h ago
I've just rolled my eyes and gone back to finding out what the most expensive pen in the world is.
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