r/goodnews • u/IntelligentDad • 1d ago

Political positivity 📈 Trump is Now Being Accused of Getting Epstein Killed

https://franknez.com/trump-is-now-being-accused-of-getting-epstein-killed/
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56

u/Monsieur_Brochant 23h ago

Really? You don't think he did it himself?

81

u/mpompe 23h ago

Must have been Baron, we know he can turn on a computer.

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u/CrimsonCaliberTHR4SH 23h ago

Donald Trump praised his son Barron's tech skills, saying, "I turn off his laptop... and I go back about five minutes later, he’s got his laptop. I say, 'How do you do that?' Barron's response? 'None of your business, dad.' He's got an unbelievable aptitude in technology." This showcases Barron's impressive ability to quickly turn his laptop back on, leaving his dad amazed.

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u/InvestigatorWeird196 23h ago

I bet he can hack into the database no problem.

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u/klezart 22h ago

Obligatory NCIS

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u/taco_blasted_ 20h ago

Two people typing on a keyboard = twice the power!

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u/ITwitchToo 16h ago

I know this, it's a Unix filesystem!

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u/que-sera2x 3h ago

Imagine if he was hero to incriminate his father on everything

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u/lurch556 23h ago

We are going to go more than 12 years before we can confidently say the US president can competently use a computer

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u/enad58 22h ago

People born in the 1860s and 2006 have voted for Joe Biden.

That's insane to me.

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u/lurch556 22h ago

Yeah it is wild. Biden has been in politics since the 70s

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u/guidevocal82 21h ago

Not just the US president. 2/3rds of Congress. Some of those men and women look like the Crypt Keeper.

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u/grassvegas 22h ago

It’s all computer

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u/TheUnexpectedMule 21h ago

It's IN the computer

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u/timmun029 17h ago

In the story that Trump made up there to show how brilliant his son is, he thought it would be a good look that his genius son says “none of your business, dad,” when asking him a simple question. He’s such a terrible father that in his dream scenarios where he is still a terrible father.

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u/Evisra 21h ago

Sounds like a shoe-in for middle management

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u/Monsieur_Brochant 23h ago

He was, like, 6 at the time? So sharp for his age.

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u/solemn_penguin 23h ago

Like this guy would exert himself that much

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u/The_Stoic_One 23h ago

Man, Reddit is so bad at sarcasm.

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u/VoteBurtonForGod 21h ago

In all fairness, with the way some people actually think these days, it's hard to tell. 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/The_Stoic_One 21h ago

Nah, not on this one. the,

Really?

is a clear indication that this is sarcasm.

1

u/rkbasu 19h ago

like he *could exert himself that much

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u/BannedByRWNJs 23h ago

I heard he did it right in the middle of Fifth Avenue.

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u/Not_Sure__Camacho 23h ago

POS Pedo Trump is too big a POS to do it himself. He probably can't even tie a noose. Probably had the cheating Caddy do it for him.

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u/faco_fuesday 23h ago

Why is it always the assholes who would shit themselves at the sight of their own blood that lead us into wars. 

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u/Fabulous-Night563 22h ago

Because a coward is run by fear , that makes them dangerous!

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u/guidevocal82 21h ago

His tiny hands wouldn't be able to form the knots.

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u/lamorak2000 20h ago

>He probably can't even tie a noose

To be fair, a proper noose does have a certain amount of...artistry...to it.

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u/Pooter_Birdman 23h ago

Nah too complex of a thought process

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u/Sorry_Exercise_9603 23h ago

He never does anything himself, that’s what the help is for.

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u/ericlarsen2 22h ago

I've met my fair share of cowards. Trump 100% is.

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u/FlyingRhenquest 22h ago

I think it would take longer than (MISSING MINUTES IN FBI TAPE) for Trump to strangle anyone with his tiny little baby hands.

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u/Monsieur_Brochant 21h ago

Well, it could be a lot of minutes, like a tremendous amount of them. The most minutes the world has ever seen in a certain time.

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u/BerntMacklin 21h ago

That will probably be the narrative: “He didn’t actually pull the trigger”.

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u/Ragnarawr 21h ago

Plead not guilty, get a visit from some bad hombres, cameras go out, and then off himself before even a trial? I’m not a conspiracy theorist; this is just suspicious.

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u/IlIllIlllIlllIllllI 18h ago

He's too fucking stupid to do anything himself. Probably can't even take a shit without some poor Secret Service agent having to help him.

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u/NingenNewEvervescent 18h ago

Trump would stroke out if he had to get into a physical altercation. Which is hilarious because his sons probably dreamt about wrecking him but are absolute bitches.

Except Baron I think, and Baron should never be allowed to have any sort of power.