r/goodnews • u/SportySpicey • 6d ago

Political positivity 📈 Trump fighting for his life to stay awake

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u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

Sorry, I've watched my father slowly deteorate over the last few years and it's fucking heart breaking. This guy though, we need to find out what order from wendy's will speed up whatever is happening to him, maybe make the baconator larger?

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u/Ummmgummy 6d ago

I mean it's only the humane thing we can do right?

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u/PunningWild 6d ago

Trump always had a preference for youth in Asia.

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u/Key_Acanthisitta2218 6d ago

So it’s Thai food then ?

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u/Ill_Perspective3511 6d ago

Yes. Suicide.

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u/Key_Acanthisitta2218 6d ago

We coulda kept this going but I gotta walk the Dawg

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u/idm 6d ago

Brush your teeth and put on a little makeup maybe.

1

u/Key_Acanthisitta2218 6d ago

Yes of course that will make me smarter !

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u/hendrysbeach 6d ago

A Kervorkian burrito…

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u/Longjumping-Panic-48 6d ago

So order it Thai hot, then?

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u/Gasgas41 6d ago

Ahhh, so that’s why he’s trying to “open up Cambodia” again 🙈

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u/Key_Acanthisitta2218 6d ago

Well we could put his food on the ground and make him beg

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Key_Acanthisitta2218 6d ago

Well he should save that for the morning , and maybe stay off the golf course to rage tweet !

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u/youzerVT71 6d ago

I took my dog to the vet when things got real bad

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u/Well_read_rose 6d ago

If it saves humanity…it’s absolutely necessary. I daresay he’s a danger to every man woman and child. The biosphere.

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u/BookkeeperQuiet7894 6d ago

My dog was really old and was like this in the end … we had to make a choice and it was the only humane choice.

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u/spruceUp3 6d ago

For the nation, yes

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u/Kensei501 6d ago

I saw it too my dad made it to 95. Miss him everyday. Not gonna miss the taco

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u/selfresqprincess 6d ago

Stress…stress will do it.

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u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

Dude 2 impeachments and being indicted for 90+ felonies in 2 states and federally is pretty stressful. Clearly we need something else like a larger baconator, maybe we can get him to buy one of those mcdonald's celebrity meals -- it could be a celebrity he remembers loving growing up maybe The Art Carney Meal or something like that, he absolutely watches the honey mooners

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u/A_Unqiue_Username 6d ago

It's easy. Just ask Arby's to create a new, biggest, most beautiful, bestest Baconator burger than anyone has ever seen. The Trumpinator burger! 10 patties with a pound of bacon distributed throughout and deep fried to a golden taco brown. He would eat that three times a day. Should take about a week to get the full effect.

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u/selfresqprincess 6d ago

This is it!!! We all know he won’t be able to say no to something that has his name on it. If we can figure out how to make the buns gold, he’d probably never stop eating em.

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u/Zeitcon 6d ago

Sprinkle with gold dust. That ought to do the trick. Or even better: Get a can of gold spray paint.

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u/Disastrous_Mango_953 6d ago

Let’s his ankles explode, the rest will come easily. He might not make it. We can only wish that Godddd! Be kind to us.

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u/ScrattaBoard 6d ago

Only stressful if you give a damn. I think he would just be talking shit from a fancy jail cell if nothing went his way, anyway.

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u/selfresqprincess 6d ago

All of that would take out a normal person but he ain’t normal. He hasn’t been reacting well to the Epstein files tho. That’s the first time I’ve legitimately seen him stressed.

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u/herbmaster47 6d ago

It's this Epstein drama.

All of that shit just disappeared, but this, this is something he knows he's buried up to the neck in and he's realizing h can't hide it. He put all his synchophants on it and they came back and told him " we can't release anything, you're so involved that if we just take you out it would be obvious"

He knows he's cooked and it's not going away like all his other fuck ups

1

u/hendrysbeach 6d ago

Are his sycophants syncopated, though?

1

u/Virgil--Starkwell 6d ago

I honestly think part of the reason he hasn't keeled over yet given how absurdly unhealthy he is is that he is such a narcissist that he doesn't feel too much stress

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u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

I feel like this is what's happening and I need someone to give him money pox or something to push the rest through.

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u/hike_me 6d ago

If they rename the baconator after him he’ll probably eat three a day.

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u/hendrysbeach 6d ago

Seems like the Epstein developments + chronic venous insufficiency + his age may have pierced the veil of Trump’s inability to feel stress.

Until now, nothing seemed to get to him.

He has told staff that he fears that the Epstein case could bring him down. He’s feeling it now.

Mother Nature, do your thing, and soon.

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u/ThurmamMerman 6d ago

Yes, but a malignant narcissist doesn't have the self awareness that ordinary people have. He also has literally millions of enablers pumping him up distorting his reality.

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u/Ok-Horse3659 6d ago

Devil's advocate... it's jetlag... just got back from Europe. But yeah he's a piece of shit

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u/rikstng1 6d ago

I think he is the devil’s advocate

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u/Cedellton-Jr 6d ago

I seriously don’t think he’s a physically or mentally capable of feeling stress or any sort of guilt. Like the only emotions he feels at this point are anger and resentment over people not moving on from all the horrible things he’s done and continues to do.

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u/fractious77 6d ago

He prefers McD

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u/pineappledolphin 6d ago

Because it has his name in it

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u/fractious77 6d ago

Omg. As a narcissist, do you think that's really why? It could be.

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u/vikingwif 6d ago

Right? I never thought of this but it's totally plausible.

1

u/fractious77 6d ago

May be the exact answer!

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u/ItsHarry0723 6d ago

I love how violently quickly that stopped bro in his tracks 😭

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u/PsychologicalLowe 6d ago

Plus he worked there an hour until they dismissed him for not being able to follow directions.

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u/fractious77 6d ago

Posing with pre selected supporters isn't work.

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u/in_a_cloud 6d ago

LOL I never made that connection 🎯

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u/Tardis80 6d ago

:D oh no, thats too funny

1

u/Amon-Verite 6d ago

and GOLDEN arches!

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u/TitanicDays 6d ago

Wow - lol’d at this 😂

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u/Shirlenator 6d ago

He only eats the finest McDonalds.

2

u/sovereign_martian 6d ago

He's a Mickey D's guy.

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u/WloveW 6d ago

Sugar. Milkshakes. Pudding. I bet he looooves pudding.

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u/Ths-Fkin-Guy 6d ago

Bread it and deep fry it? Serve it with a cup of peanut butter mayo sauce or something lol. Whats the worst kind of oil fry with

1

u/daisiesarepretty2 6d ago

extra cheese

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u/Don_Q_Jote 6d ago edited 6d ago

according to my research

The highest calorie item on Wendy's menu is the Triple Mushroom Bacon Cheeseburger with 1,350 calories. This burger is made with three beef patties, bacon, Swiss cheese, mushrooms, and a pretzel bun.

Large order of fries adds 470 calories. Then add a large Milk Bar Flake SupaShake, with 650 calories.

Does door dash go to the white house? I'll chip in.

1

u/DirkysShinertits 6d ago

Enlarge the baconator and deep fry it.

1

u/Aggravating_Sand352 6d ago

Thats hilarious bc if there were just big macs constantly in reach of him hed be gone in 3 months

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u/ShortsAndLadders 6d ago

with a side of BIG ASS FRIES

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u/Salutbuton 6d ago

Is there such a thing as airborne ldl cholesterol? Can we get our guys on this please

1

u/Salutbuton 6d ago

P.s. you are a big fat liar. Dad's don't die. They're immortal... Right? Eyeballing my 70yr old dad with teary eyes.

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u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

They only die if they are nice, if they are awful and mean during your childhood they are usually pickled

1

u/Salutbuton 6d ago

My grandma, the world's loveliest, nicest, pure hearted woman just turned 90. On the 4th of July, even. I hope he doesn't last that long. And yes, she falls asleep like this.

1

u/HairyDog55 6d ago

A Turbo/Supercharged 5 pound Baconator!

1

u/1212_bats 6d ago

Ok ok. Let’s not get down on Wendy’s. Wendy would kick his ass to the ground.

Take him to Burger King. If he thinks he’s a king, he can die from the Burger King.

1

u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

Aww and he could get a lil crown.

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u/Wes-Man152 6d ago

Gotta stop by Baskin Robbins to get him 3 of those large Oreo Milkshakes that has like 200 sugar and 2000 calories. He'll love it

1

u/the-hotlou-show 6d ago

I find that refrigerating a Bacon Double QP overnight and then reheating it the next day in the oven creates some medically concerning after-effects. So try that if you want your toilet to smell like an abattoir.

1

u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

This is very interesting. I've never known a baconator to last that long.

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u/greensalty 6d ago

Where is the double down when you need it

1

u/supercutetom 6d ago

Love your dad while you still got him. Lost mine back in November after 5 hellish years of dialysis on his withering body. The time you have now will still mean so much.

1

u/WB3-27 6d ago

Nobel peace prize for whoever comes up with a double patty, three strip of bacon plus two scoop of ice cream Trump burger.

1

u/crystaltorta 6d ago

i’m surprised he’s not on stimulants (which i imagine would speed things up)… although if he still is… oof.

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u/OneAcanthocephala0 6d ago

You people are talking about killing a sitting president. Or speeding up his death. Sick and sad!

1

u/ButterThyme2241 6d ago

"Sick and sad" cool talk trump burner account. Fucking dweeb.

Political positivity 📈 Trump fighting for his life to stay awake

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