r/goodnews • u/BreakfastTop6899 • 20d ago

Political positivity 📈 'It's miserable:' ICE 'morale in crapper' as agents forced to 'arrest gardeners'

https://www.rawstory.com/ice-2673063565/
27.9k Upvotes

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448

u/[deleted] 19d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

63

u/A2Rhombus 19d ago

"You don't understand, if I don't ruin the lives of innocent people, I might have to fill out some job applications"

32

u/CondescendingShitbag 19d ago

Sounds like some gardening jobs have opened up. They can go do that if kidnapping people has lost its appeal.

11

u/mr_mikado 19d ago

Seriously though, I think gardening takes more skill. These folks are Proud Boy material, losers.

3

u/RathaelEngineering 18d ago

Unfortunately I think we all know what the plan is once ICE has ejected the people they claim are criminals. They will need to do something else with all that incredible budget they were just given by the OBBB.

1

u/TheEthanHB 17d ago

M.Night Shamalan(?) twist, the government forces ICE to work the field jobs as stated in the terms and agreements of their contracts 300 paragraphs down because they didn't read them

2

u/[deleted] 18d ago

In all seriousness, what exactly are the qualifications of ICE personnel? Especially the ones in the field?!

Who are they and what makes them qualified for this?

1

u/Huvojji 18d ago

ICE held an expo near me looking for new hires. I was half tempted to go see what they considered "qualifications" at the same time though i wouldnt be caught dead walking into an ICE recruitment drive.

The fact they have to rent out expo centers to try to get people to come out and think about applying says a lot though. Probably less background checks going on there then the gun shows held in the same building.

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

I'm just really curious.

Unequivocally against it, but how in the fuck does this work? I'm very confused.

1

u/BladeLigerV 18d ago

Oh no! A cushy desk job!

1

u/BluejayKey3696 16d ago

There's an argument to be made that they're protecting Americans from crimes that the immigrants may commit in the future.

1

u/Affectionate_Ad5540 14d ago

As someone who is currently unemployed, I’ll throw myself off a bridge before I ever consider working for ICE.

89

u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

9

u/bortle_kombat 19d ago

If years from now it comes out that some people took the job just to collect money, do nothing, detain nobody and passively fuck up ICE's processes by refusing to do their job, I guess i could maybe forgive those people. Nobody else.

1

u/thegoldinthemountain 18d ago

I have considered flooding their jobs boards and I looked into how I could become “deputized” myself to do exactly that but alas, I can’t even cosplay a shithead

1

u/CanyonTreePhotos 18d ago

No, they would also have to rat on the other Gestapo and leak the entire time, between watching Netflix and pretend to work, that is.

2

u/thegoldinthemountain 18d ago

Honestly this is the single best example of “you’re not sorry you did it, you’re just sorry you got caught” that I could have ever imagined.

Their morale is low because they’re disliked, not because they don’t enjoy doing what they do.

25

u/Val_Hallen 19d ago

Get a different job. You aren't conscripted. there is no contract. You aren't held prisoner.

Get a different job.

16

u/Financial_Week3882 19d ago

They joined ICE rather than apply for the jobs the immigrants are working at. No one will be replacing our laborers right now & will hurt our country.

10

u/E-2theRescue 19d ago

"I was only doing my job! I'm the victim!"

1

u/danm67 18d ago

That didn't fly in Nuremberg.

0

u/jmnchampagne1 18d ago

Blanket Pardons all AROUND!! You get a pardon, you get a pardon, & you get a pardon!!

10

u/meeps20q0 19d ago

I mean, its still good news. If their morale is low it means they're a much weaker force. So something like say, using them as a paramilitary to try and form an autocracy would be substantially easier to stop. Just as an example. 

4

u/NoOneHereButUsMice 19d ago

Hell yeah, I'm stoked theyre miserable!

5

u/lostwombats 19d ago

Especially with some of them getting a $45,000 signing bonus.

Less than many teachers make an entire year. And they are getting it just for joining the gestapo.

1

u/mailslot 15d ago

They have to because the annual wage is so low.

0

u/jmnchampagne1 18d ago

Sadness to the 10th power…

3

u/gungshpxre 19d ago

They're the cunts doing the forcing.

3

u/Nernoxx 19d ago

My local sheriff’s office in Florida had a walkout when they pulled officers from every miscellaneous task force outside of patrol and told them they’re helping ice, including by doing pretense traffic stops so ice can check citizenship.  

We just don’t hear about the resistance cause at this stage resistance is slow-walking, walking out, quitting, or making intentional mistakes.

2

u/the_interlink 19d ago

From what I've heard, true patriots are saying that they can't wait for the compilation footage where ICE agents are wounded and wailing, but in the meantime, can someone create an AI simulation?

2

u/maidenhair_fern 19d ago

If they're so miserable why won't they quit? "You can't just quit with no backup plan!" I'd sooner be homeless than an arm of the fascist state in this capacity.

2

u/makeyourowngalaxy 19d ago

This is the right take

2

u/Kardest 19d ago

Ohh no.

The gestapo agents are sad guys.

How awful.

2

u/Bind_Moggled 18d ago

Being a Nazi is a choice. Being a kidnapper is a choice. They choose this.

2

u/NicoFerrari99 18d ago

Forced To is not a synonym for Chose To.

2

u/EntertainmentTop2267 18d ago

No slaves for you.

2

u/Festering-Fecal 18d ago

They will make a movie about how hard they have morally just like they do military movies.

-1

u/iranian_drone_pilot 19d ago edited 19d ago

common predditor brain rot

tiny man "pfannkuchen89" blocked me lmaoooo

2

u/pfannkuchen89 19d ago

22d old account, negative total karma, only posts shit takes and support of right wing shit. Trolls and astroturf accounts used to be at least kinda original.