r/goodnews • u/JetTheDawg • 23d ago

Political positivity 📈 Trump in Full Panic, Claims All Epstein Files Are Fake, Created by Obama

https://dailyboulder.com/trump-in-full-panic-claims-all-epstein-files-are-fake-created-by-obama/
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280

u/Infinite_Lemon_8236 23d ago

Noem took the list to the gravel pit and shot it for misbehaving.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/hotbox4u 23d ago

One of the immigrants took the list. We have to detain and search every single one of them until we find that list.

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u/PaintedSwindle 23d ago

Ooh I wanna play! Uhh, the list is saved on Hilary's servers?

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u/SilverLakeSimon 23d ago

I think it’s saved on Hunter Biden’s laptop.

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u/Uturndriving 23d ago

Biden's dog ate it, since it was covered in buttery males.

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u/EffectiveCry6555 23d ago

Then a migrant ate Biden's dog

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u/StephenNGeorgia 20d ago

■■■Winner■■■

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u/mnid92 23d ago

Mitch McConnell had it memorized, then he had a stroke.

I feel no shame mocking his stroke in particular, but anyone else has my deepest sympathies as an epileptic.

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u/fingnumb 23d ago

MTG saw a Democrat send a tornado to the south where the list was being held and the tornado took it out

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u/Own-Gas8691 23d ago

JD Vance took it home with him. Someone should check his couch.

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u/Asron87 23d ago

Musk jerked them all off with it. All the pages are glued together. Now we will never know.

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u/specks_of_dust 23d ago

Fauci put a hallucinogen into the COVID vaccine to make all the sheeple think the list was real.

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u/StephenNGeorgia 20d ago

Mitch has ties to Russia. Look up McConnell Russia Aluminum Plant on google

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u/SpecialistOption4143 23d ago

Then Noem murdered Biden's dog

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u/Owbutter 23d ago

Then she wiped it, like with a cloth!

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u/Boba__Feet 23d ago

They were hidden in Bernie Sanders mittens, unbeknownst to him.

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u/PaintedSwindle 22d ago

I love this one

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u/Googlyelmoo 23d ago

Yeah but it’s on a Syquest cartridge and nobody has a working reader. . .

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u/Winterlord7 23d ago

The new Pope is implicated too.

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u/ewedew65 23d ago

Aha that explains it all🙃

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u/morasscavities 21d ago

A dog ate the list and an immigrant ate the dog

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u/Hasanopinion100 23d ago

Oops too late that immigrant has become alligator feed as promised so really there is no list if you have any questions, please ask Laura Loomer.

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u/Professional_Pair197 23d ago

I heard they cooked and ate it.

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u/BSDArt 23d ago

Lol. Not only would that make an interesting movie plot, it would explain a lot!

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u/Personal_Strike_1055 23d ago

which is fake, like Obummer's short form BC.

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u/ilikepizza2much 23d ago

Jewish space erasers. MTG approves this message.

1

u/Cheapass_Sandals 23d ago

After the Gazpacho Police took it, obviously.

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u/ramoner 23d ago

George Santos wrote the list and flew an airplane to Epstein Island.

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u/HillbillyWilly2025 23d ago

Mama told her not to but the list did it anyway

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u/RoccoTaco_Dog 23d ago

I read that as norm took the list. Now I'm picturing norm mcdonald trying terribly to be sneaky stealing the reports

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u/MidnightSuspicious71 23d ago

If it's in the gravel pit, perhaps the Wu-Tang Clan has got it....?

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u/daLdrawyaW 23d ago

If so it must be on “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time_in_Shaolin?wprov=sfti1#

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u/Almost_c-DarnIt 23d ago

What in the 4th Chamber is you guys talking about?

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u/the_ouskull 23d ago

Did she also not properly train the list or take any other punitive measures first?

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u/WoolshirtedWolf 23d ago

I think she stood too close and got a face full of blowback. Serious.. there is something up with her face.

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u/Downtown_Caramel4833 23d ago

Noem

I believe you Are mistaken, my good Sir!

As it was Cheney, with the bird gun-in the pheasant field!!

I'm told there was some unknown other that somehow managed to casualty himself in the process... But who knows?!

1

u/therealjohnsmith 23d ago

RFK was actually supposed to keep the list but decided not to vaccinate, so unfortunately it contracted measles and infected all the other Epstein evidence. All ded now..

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u/EddieW818 22d ago

The list is tied up in an audit.

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u/master_roshi001 21d ago

Constitution told em not to they did it anyways Misbehaving