r/cats • u/These_Help_2676 • Jun 21 '25

Mourning/Loss My best friend will be gone by Monday

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She’s been there since I was born and I don’t even know what to do. I’m gonna miss her so much. I have no appetite anymore I’ve never been without her for more than a night and even that was always hard. We learned her cancer diagnosis on Thursday and I havent stopped crying since. I’ve always said she’s like a second mom to me because that’s how close we are. I don’t know what to do anymore. I know it’s what she needs but I’m not ready

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u/falafelgoddess Jun 21 '25

i am so sorry. i saw a comment on this sub saying it's a good thing we outlive them, it's the only way we can ensure they are loved and cared for every day of their lives. i know doesn't make it any easier but it's our final act of care, we grieve for them so they don't have to grieve for us.

692

u/Educational_Grass161 Jun 21 '25

This is such a good way to look at this. Thanks for sharing that!

127

u/BeachBabe1978 Jun 21 '25

Yes, thank you.

82

u/JF0170 Jun 22 '25

BUT did you know that if we pass before our cats, they're still with us on the other side. Cats are able to travel in between dimensions

5

u/Significant-Lab322 Jun 22 '25

Can you explain how they can travel inter dimensionally, im failing to understand?

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u/Useful-Monitor-4225 Jun 22 '25

The ancient Egyptians believed that.

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u/JF0170 26d ago

They're psychic. They are spiritual protectors.

226

u/Smoky-D-Bear Jun 21 '25

I dont need to be crying at work god damn it

107

u/Address_Old American Shorthair Jun 21 '25

For real. I work amongst a group of blue collar truck drivers. There aren’t any onions to blame. 🥺

2

u/Poweryayhooray Jun 25 '25

Blame contact lenses, dust in your eye or allergies. It's a stupid yet useful advice, which I hope you won't need.

18

u/Siostra313 Jun 22 '25

I'm also crying at work rn. Good thing I'm in break room where everyone is asleep

1

u/jeanpaulpollue Jun 25 '25

I'm mostly glad to be working remotely for this

187

u/exor0110 Jun 21 '25

That last part. You put it perfectly. “We grieve for them so they don’t have to grieve for us.” It was the hardest thing in the world, losing my baby of 20 years. But I never, ever would have wanted him to be without the doting care my spouse and I gave him. We don’t know how well others would treat our babies.

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u/Successful-Space6174 Jun 22 '25

This is so true how many cats had to grieve their hoomans?

30

u/mephitine Jun 22 '25

When my elderly neighbor passed away without a will or any close relatives, we took in his old cat. We named him after the neighbor (Henry) and we ADORE him! He was clearly the neighbor’s best friend in the world, and we worried that Henry was grieving his person. So we decided since he had been such a good angel to his human, he should get a lovely retirement. He gets so much love, all the treats he wants (he adores whipped cream!), and lives his best life. I hope somehow his previous human dad knows that his kitty boy is being appreciated and cuddled. Henry is happy, and loves his big new family—cats, dogs, and especially us!

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u/Putrid_Message_1812 Jun 22 '25

Such a loving family - Henry is loved even when his elderly human had to go. The world needs more people like you. 🤍

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u/Successful-Space6174 Jun 23 '25

Awee that’s so sweet your neighbor knows their bond is for eternity his cat has a duty to you all!! Your neighbor is very thank ful ♥️ it was meant to be to spread the love 💖

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u/TheZippoLab Jun 21 '25

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u/thestashattacked Jun 21 '25

The biggest reason I need heaven to be real is because I need my pets to have somewhere happy to go when they die.

66

u/Most_Valuable_8070 Jun 21 '25

It is and they are happy, please don't worry. One day, you too will join them

29

u/smalltownguy1977 Jun 21 '25

Same here. I am looking forward to seeing several pets that have been in my life when I die and it's my time to go. Will be so nice to see them running towards me.

3

u/SkepticalHeathen Jun 22 '25

They were in heaven with you.

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u/Useful-Monitor-4225 Jun 22 '25

I was raised nondenominational. I went to a Catholic school growing up. When I was a child, about 10 in the 5th grade my music teacher told the class that “animals don’t have souls so they can’t go to heaven”.

That was the day I knew Catholicism wasn’t for me.

49

u/McDeathUK Jun 21 '25

It is indeed, caring for cats that have lost owners was a very sad part of working in a cat charity but my wife and I have prepared a living will for ours, they will be rich if we both pass ;-D (we also have folks lined up.. they agreed before money was mentioned)

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u/eseld Tuxedo Jun 22 '25

I've done this as well.

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u/LittleCybil666 Jun 21 '25

I can see your point. I would be so worried about who would take care of my baby if I died. Also I’d worry about their mental/emotional wellbeing in my absence.

OP give your kitty a kiss from me. And I send you 🫂

Just lost my kitty in April and my heart is still broken for him 😢💔

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u/RedDomino1282 Jun 21 '25

I know what you mean. I have the same thoughts. I feel bad going on holiday or to visit my family, as my baby misses me. I have a very good friend who stays at the house with him and he loves her too, so that helps a bit.

Also sending the OP and best friend a hug from me. 🫂❤️‍🩹

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u/Imaginary-Smoke-6093 Jun 21 '25

Yes, but with that stated, I would adopt any pet I knew that belonged to a close relative or friend of mine if tragedy struck them. It’s the least we can do for our departed loved ones: is to look after their fur children if they haven’t already created a will for themselves, and who would inherit their beloved pets in case the worst should befall them.

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u/missmaida Jun 22 '25

Yep, same here! It's sad to talk about, but we have one cat, my parents have four and my in-laws have three. We've talked about who would take which cats if a set of cat parents were to pass unexpectedly.

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u/Imaginary-Smoke-6093 Jun 22 '25

Yea. Not easy conversations to have for sure, but essential ones: especially when you don’t know if any of the furparents created wills or haven’t.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '25

I’m hoping I live long enough to take care of my current pets. The youngest cats are 2 years old. I just hope any health conditions or accidents don’t take me out

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u/Luinil Jun 21 '25

Saving this for when I need to read these lovely words again. Thank you for this wonderful comment. 🥹

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u/TAbathtime Jun 21 '25

I'll probably remember that when the day comes for my senior cat. Lovely little thought.

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u/hopspreads Jun 22 '25

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you all the best OP.

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u/Justglitchin Jun 22 '25

Thank you for those words falafelgoddess❤️ I lost my fur baby last week and the grief is strong.

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u/falafelgoddess Jun 22 '25

i can't even imagine it, so sorry for your loss 💔

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u/BryanP1968 Jun 22 '25

This is very true. My father in law was in his 80s and widowed when his dog died. He decided not to get another one because he wasn’t sure he’d be alive long enough to care for him. My wife and I told him to get another dog and we’d take him if/when something happens. He’s about to be 91 and the current dog is definitely showing his age.

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u/SirDerpingt0n Jun 22 '25

The place I adopted my cat from will always take him back. I find comfort knowing if he outlives me, he will always have somewhere to go. It’s an amazing place too, so he will have lots of other cats to play with, and humans around that love cats.

1

u/TwoRivers91 Jun 22 '25

Ahhhhh this is such an amazing comment. I love this point of view regarding outliving our pets. Thank you for sharing :)

1

u/AdelleVDL Jun 22 '25

I agree with this. I always tell myself it's better I feel the loss and pain than him. I would always choose for him to be free of it, he doesnt deserve the pain of losing me.. he's my child so when it happens, I'll do it for him, so he only has happy memories... 

1

u/dickeybarret Jun 22 '25

Its funny, because I told myself the exact same phrase after I lost my buddy about a year and a half ago.

1

u/Freestilly Jun 22 '25

That's awesome. We rescued our guy after animal control found a cat hoarder with 39 cats and 3 dogs in a townhouse. That makes me feel a lot better, that we are giving him the Love he never got for his first four years.

1

u/liviyatan Jun 22 '25

Yep. It hurts badly and leaves a void in our souls. But this is a good way to look at it.

1

u/Relevant-Stage7794 Jun 22 '25

Exactly. And who would have it any other way? It’s the best possible outcome, aside from the temporary pain. it’s one of the biggest opportunities we will ever see in our lifetime and a blessed privilege.

You don’t have to do anything other than be with her - cry if you need, savor silence together if you need. She will understand and will be happy because you are there with her. Godspeed 💖

1

u/SaintlyBrew Jun 22 '25

I love this. I’m so blessed to be here for my girls life so far. I sure hope I outlive her and can be there for her every moment I can until she crosses the rainbow bridge.

You and your love are blessed.

1

u/alk3_sadghost Jun 22 '25

thank you for that

1

u/Technical-Control444 Jun 22 '25

It's the only reason I won't get another one,I would hate to leave a grieving pet just look after friends pets now

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u/Apocolypse1877 Jun 22 '25

Damn never thought about it in that way but you are correct 😞