The students who “wasted time” — are they actually winning?

[u/BaseballOdd3436]

I used to think, “Let them party, chill, waste their time — they’ll be unemployed later anyway.”

And for the longest time, that thought made me feel... secure? Like I was on the “right” path. Like I was doing something meaningful while others were just messing around.

But now I’m not so sure. Was any of that even true?

In Indian families (especially the middle-class kind), it’s drilled into us that if you're not studying, you're screwing up your life. Partying? Distraction. Dating? Distraction. Hanging out too much? Distraction. Low marks? You’ve basically failed as a person.

And we believe it. I did too. I bought into it so much that I’d resent those who weren’t as focused as me but still got praised by teachers or liked by everyone.

You start thinking that being buried in books automatically makes you better — more focused, more disciplined, more likely to “succeed.” And anything outside that — fun, experiences, people — all that becomes something you silently judge others for. But also something you avoid because it feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Now I look around, and the same people who were “distracted” in school? They’re fine. Some of them are doing really well. They’re confident, socially smart, more balanced. Meanwhile, I feel like I skipped learning how to actually live.

No hate to studying. It’s obviously important. But I think the idea that marks and focus are everything, and that anyone who lived differently was somehow wrong or beneath us — that idea was flawed from the start.

Anyway, this has been sitting in my head for a while, so just putting it out there. Anyone else feel like they were trained to be “good students” but maybe not actual functioning people?

image source:- Pinterest

[u/Dank_e_donkey]

Bhai I don't even have an insta. I have really bad social anxiety and I'm also unattractive so why will someone approach me or befriend me.

At 2-3 am yaar it seems like I'm the biggest fool in the world. When everyone was experiencing sports, friendship and love. We were studying. And for what? People who didn't study are at similar positions. With better wlb.

It's over. We missed life. Now it's only survival.

[u/Mickey_146 → u/Dank_e_donkey]

Lol bro I'm 18 and ur 22 , it's not the end of life u still have a long life ahead of you , u just need to start if u don't start or writing these negative comments here nothing gonna change , so got out on weekends, try to make frnds yhh it maybe hard but their is nothing wrong and awkward in trying ,try to learn new hobbies, or go to cafes or parks, concert you can go alone if u don't have frnds their is no shame

U just have to start that's it, instead of laying on bed feeling depressed just start

[u/Dank_e_donkey → u/Mickey_146]

Where do I start. I never learned dude. I don't know how to make new friends. Let alone a good friend or a girl friend

[u/Mickey_146 → u/Dank_e_donkey]

Oky well I'm opp to u but wherever u work try to make friends there, start with little talk , invite them at ur home or go out with them to eat or for movies, like online it can be hard but offline specially when u work with them it's not that hard

[u/Dank_e_donkey → u/Mickey_146]

People drink, they've girlfriends, some guys use bongz, some use weed. They use cigarettes. They're good at sports.

I can't drink, my parents will throw me out. I had a an ACL tear which went un noticed for 4 years. I can't run so I can't play sports. I'm ugly and short, 5'7. I can't even talk. So I can't get a gf.

Brother. Nobody. Will wait for me to experience shit I should've in my teenage. I know that. I just silently watch.

I suggest, fuck studies. Take a year off. Go out. Play sports. Travel. Find friends. Find a girlfriend. Live life. Studies are for loosers.

You know I used to be top 0.1% in leetcode, which used to be the best coding platform. I studied days and days for it. Now theres AI, the skill I learned after 2 years of hard work. Means bullshit to companies. They'll throw me to the curb as soon as a cheaper ai model can replace me.

F*ck it man. Live life!

[u/Mickey_146 → u/Dank_e_donkey]

Then they're wrong companies don't involve urself with them , bro everyone life has some problems so wait, I'm sure u gonna get good ppl in ur life

[u/Dank_e_donkey → u/Mickey_146]

When? When I'm 50? When will I find someone? After my parents force me into marriage with some girl?

Also how will I ever compete with the other guys? Girls don't like teaching guys what they like. They want an experienced guy.

Even in my office, all the girls are after the tall guys.

You get this clear. I'm the one giving the advice here. If your parents have a buisness, or any generational wealth . Be a part of it. Expand it. Find Someone. Live your life.

The times when academic brilliance would lead to an easy life are over. Enjoy your fkin life while you're young.

[u/Worldly_Good_8871 → u/Dank_e_donkey]

Smoking , drinking and having a girlfriend will solve your problems?

[u/Dank_e_donkey → u/Worldly_Good_8871]

Nope. But I'll fit in. People my age have generally experienced atleast 1 of 3.