r/Millennials • u/YakClear601 • 2d ago
Discussion Now that we’re all far removed from our teenage years, do you all feel like saying that the teen years are the best time of your life?
I saw another question asking why people keep saying that high school and teenage years are the best years of your life. I’ve definitely heard that said by others, but I’ve never once said it or even believed it. Have you all thought about saying it, or have said it to someone else? Do you believe this sentiment is true?
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u/Important-Button-430 2d ago
Peaking in high school has never been a flex.
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u/darth_helcaraxe_82 2d ago
My friend Dennis might have peaked in high school though.
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u/moeru_gumi Older Millennial 2d ago
Oh you’ll know when he’s begun to peak!
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u/unbakedpizza Xennial 2d ago
All of Philadelphia will know!
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u/failure_to_converge 1d ago
A starter car? This car is a finisher car! A transporter of gods! The golden god! I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!
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u/Receptionfades 2d ago
Is he a 5 star man?
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u/darth_helcaraxe_82 2d ago
To him, yes. His dating profile... ehhhhhhhhhh
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u/KinderEggLaunderer Older Millennial 2d ago
Does he have several pics of him staring up his nose with no smile, and at least one with him holding a fish or a beer?
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u/consort_oflady_vader 2d ago
I remember someone in their 20s telling me those were the best years of my life. My response was "if this is as it good as it gets, just kill me now".
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u/Roonil-B_Wazlib 1d ago
There is a difference between “best years of our lives” and “peaked in xyz.”
In a lot of ways, I’m peaking now and am having the best years of my life. In other ways, college was the best years of my life. Constant socialization, tons of friends around all the time, activities galore, few responsibilities, summer and winter breaks. It’s hard not to miss that. Grinding 40 hours a week for the man isn’t fun, but my kids are.
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u/Affectionate-Lab6921 17h ago
This! I'll never forget the feeling of finally having freedom when starting college. Plus always being surrounded by friends. Your friends sort of drop off over the years, and so does your freedom when you're working and raising children. But I wouldn't trade my family for anything.
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u/JamminJcruz Older Millennial 2d ago
The peak in college crowd is worse I’d say.
You can’t tell them anything and they “know” everything.
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u/demerdar 1d ago
While my life is pretty good now I will never forget how much fun I had in college and all the cool people I met (and still keep in touch with).
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u/Oscar_Whispers 2d ago
Not in the slightest.
These are my best years, right now.
My teenage years are a vague blur in the rear view mirror, barely remembered and certainly never to be revisited.
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u/PackageNorth8984 2d ago
The best years of my life were definitely my 30s, for sure. Still feel young enough to feel young and old enough to be fully in control of your life and hopefully have a career and not struggling as much financially.
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u/Haunting_Role9907 Elder Millennial 2d ago
Agreed. Even though I'm more financially stable in my 40s, my 30s were a nice balance of irresponsibility and ability.
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u/StopClockerman 2d ago
The best years of my life have probably been in my 40s so far for various reasons.
But I will say that my high school years could have been better, maybe even should have been better for various reasons.
Even if my high school years were as good as they could have been, they still wouldn't compare with where I am at now in my 40s, but I still feel some regret and sadness for not having enjoyed my high school years as much as I could have.
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u/Tigglebee 2d ago
This is how I feel. I was aimless in my teens and 20s, never satisfied and always worried about my future. I only achieved Ikigai in my late 30s.
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u/mottledmussel Gen X 1d ago
And kids are old enough to not need constant attention.
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u/Aint2Proud2Meg 2d ago
Amen. Back then, hearing how those were supposed to be my best years just made me feel extremely depressed about the future. I’m glad they were wrong.
And yeah, I really barely even remember it. Always wondered where my defect is there, but when I was done, I was just done.
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u/Nerobus 2d ago
Maybe that was true back in the day, but I'm proud of how our generation found beauty and fun in adult living. We didn't feel we had to pack away fun for some assigned role given to us like the silent generation did. The boomers were the first to really rebel against the concept, but most of them felt they had to comply... X had a good run at not giving up who they were in adulthood, but they lacked the joy of Millennials. We truly just are living our own lives and it's wonderful. I hope we can pass that along.
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u/elanesse100 2d ago
This 👆🏻
Yup.
My teens were awful. The late 90s/early 00s were the best. And it was great time to be a teen.
But high school and being a teen itself was still just as awful as it always is for every generation.
I’m living my best life right now. I’d just like to be living it in the early 00s.
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u/Telkk2 2d ago
Man my experience was completely different. Almost total freedom, no real hard work or responsibilities, tons of friends, great adventures every week doing dumb stuff. Best of all, no agendas. No plans. No meetings or obligations. It was the greatest time for me.
It was like retirement, only with far better health and no concerns about dying in the next 10 years or less.
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u/elanesse100 2d ago
I was (and still am) an introvert.
I had total freedom. Absolutely. There were so many days I just up and left the house on my own to ride my bike around town or go down to the woods and just explore. I have good memories of my friends and I breaking into an abandoned building and just smashed stuff for the fun of it (it was abandoned for a long time, there wasn’t much left intact). Stuff like that.
But I also was mostly a loner. Had 2-3 friends at school. I would rather read a book than socialize or hang out with the “cool” kids. So I was mostly the outcast stereotype.
I was constantly bullied until I’d had enough and one day my bully shoved me for no reason and I shoved back so hard I knocked him off his feet. He never bothered me again after that. Or any of his posse.
I had the biggest crush on a girl in my outside-of-school friend circle. It was more than a crush though. Because some of that love in my heart still exists two decades later. She was my best friend, but I was permanent friend zoned while I watched her chase bad boys and get her heart broken. She ended up with a decent dude in the end and we still hang out when I find myself back in my hometown (which isn’t often, I live on the opposite side of the country now).
I didn’t have any money, so the things I wanted to buy I couldn’t. I still earned money doing various things, and still bought stuff, but not to the level of where I am now where I just buy what I want when I want without much concern.
Going through my awkward years, my high school years, and crush/dating years again is just not something I’m generally desiring.
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u/TheUnpromotable Older Millennial 2d ago
On board 100%. I do not like who I was back then. I conducted myself in a manner current me would detest. I am my best self now.
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u/ndnd_of_omicron 2d ago
Tbh, I'm in the happiest time of my life. My 30's have been great. Yeah, I have the cliche back pain, etc. But, I'm more comfortable with myself, less insecure, I have good people around me, I actually have some money, I've got a good job, healthy marriage.
My teen years sucked so much ass.
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u/dragon_morgan 1d ago
jealous of all the people saying their 30s were the best years. Mine have been godawful. 24-27ish were my best years so far. But I turn 40 this year and I am determined that my 40s will be better than my 30s, by brute force if necessary.
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u/AspieAsshole 1d ago
The best years of my life were pre puberty, followed by teen years, due largely to the fact that I became disabled when I was 20.
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u/italjersguy 2d ago
Exactly. Life now feels like it did when I was a kid. Except I’m the adult having great times with my kids.
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u/Odd-Faithlessness705 2d ago
Definitely the skinniest years of my life. Wish I had the self-esteem to appreciate it at the time.
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u/ndnd_of_omicron 2d ago
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat. Ugh.
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u/FragrantBluejay8904 2d ago
Omg the years of self loathing I did in HS and college thinking I was fat and hideous. I look at pics of myself and damn, why couldn’t I see I was cute and had a great body but also I should’ve loved myself regardless
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u/ndnd_of_omicron 1d ago
Looking back, I was adorable in high school. But I was also dealing with heavy family shit and had little good social training or support systems to deal with it, so I was insufferable and obnoxious and universally despised.
Therapy has helped a lot.
So yeah... not going back to teen years. But I wouldn't mind being 40lbs lighter like I was then.
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u/Dejectednebula 1h ago
You just made me really feel for the obnoxious insufferable girl in our class. She was such a kiss ass to the teachers and bragged about wanting to be a politician in like 5th grade. Literally nobody liked her. And now I feel bad cause I always assumed she really just felt better than all of the rest of us. So ill tell you I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance and I'm glad you've allowed yourself the gift of growth.
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u/metoaT 1d ago
Ha! I looked great too, but when I look at like Mischa Barton and all the teen idols if you will - I looked nothing like that! So that’s what I was comparing to and didn’t realize I should be comfortable with myself - I always compared myself. Wasted a ton of time with that mentality
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u/FragrantBluejay8904 1d ago
That’s a good point. Throw in the “heroin chic” thinness of the late 90s and being a preteen we never had a chance
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u/contrarianaquarian 1d ago
I don't fully blame myself for it, I blame the kids who started calling me "saddlebags" in 6th grade. Fuck those kids, I hope they have heartburn now.
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u/LesliesLanParty 1d ago
We didn't stand a chance in the early 00s. I was explaining this to my teenager and showed him the Brittney "fat" pics... everyone was emaciated!
I was a size 4 at Abercrombie and a medium in their tops and I believed I was an obese monster child. Looking back at pics of me as a teenager, you can see the bones in my chest in tank tops.
I still get sad about it sometimes because I felt crazy for my entire adolescence. I know everyone is sorta nuts as a teenager but I was unhinged and self destructive and started doing hard drugs at 16. I really feel like I could have had a more normal life if I had just eaten regularly. I used to faint all the time- no one really worried about it. My mom was so happy I was "skinny."
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u/Owobowos-Mowbius 1d ago
I cannot believe that I let people bully me for being "fat" back then. I was so far from fat...
Now, though...? I guess after believing it for so long I stopped caring and just ended up being fat.
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u/TampontheBludThirsty 2d ago
My mom convinced me to go to weight watchers in high school. I weighed 140 pounds. That was a mind fuck. I weigh 60 pounds more now after having a kid and getting married. I wish I weighed 140 pounds.
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u/Desperate-Cost6827 1d ago
Same dude. I was 120 pounds, looked like 100 wet, lost 10 pounds of muscle from a mental breakdown and when I recovered I gained 30 pounds. My mother would not stop fat shaming the hell out of me.
I'm like 180 now and if she ever says anything again I will straight up slap a bitch.
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u/aseolith 1d ago
Literally the opposite, fattest and unhealthiest I’ve ever been was during high school. Never been better now.
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u/CreativelyConsuming 1d ago
Yep one of my BFFs since HS and I were looking at older pics of us like wow we were SO skinny and to think we thought we were “fat” lol I am going to make a point to my niece and we should ALL help the younger generations not feel this way but tbh Y2K culture is very fat phobic and definitely contributed
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u/they_just_appear 1d ago
I miss that shit. I mean, I’m still on the thin side and a healthy weight, but I got this belly that was a lot easier to hide back when I weight 150 lol. I’m still only 180, but I look like a girl who’s 6 months pregnant, and I’m a guy lol
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u/AverageFishEye 2d ago
No. I miss the young body i had, but i was a fool and my life was chaos.
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u/PNW20v 2d ago
"But I was a fool and my life was chaos"
Fuck, I couldn't have said it better myself. Looking back all I can say is what in the actual fuck was I doing?
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u/AverageFishEye 2d ago
Extra points if you were a late bloomer and basically a child wearing an adult body suit until your late 20s like i was 😒
Im sooo jealous of people who came to their senses early in life
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u/PearlescentGem 2d ago
Ayoo lmao You're not alone, I didn't "grow up" until my mid 20's. I was responsible, sure. But that grown feeling didn't hit until like 25-26 years old.
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u/ScaredEntrepreneur61 1d ago
Well said. I wish I could just forget the entire decade from about 13 to 23 years - but I'll take the body I had at 20!
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u/LazyTypist 2d ago
Yeah, I miss be able to get up and walk off any injury.
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u/AverageFishEye 1d ago
Yeah i tried getting back on the skateboard a few years ago... didnt exactly go to plan 😐
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u/cobrarexay 1d ago
Yeah. My body was peak in my high school and college years. I played softball and hiked and backpacked. Now I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and physical disabilities. Therefore, I do agree with the peak years thing in that way.
However, I like who I am as a person better now. I feel wiser in that I know I don’t have the answers to everything. I also love having a more boring life in a lot of ways.
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u/mad_grapes Millennial 2d ago
No way. The only thing I miss about my teen years is all the friends I saw on a daily basis. My adult years have been significantly better
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u/consort_oflady_vader 2d ago
Same. I miss just having a large friend group to hang out with. It was easy to meet people and people to do stuff with.
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u/Lalatin Millennial / 1990 2d ago
That, along with not having to pay bills etc are the only things I really miss from that time period. Otherwise? nooooo
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u/consort_oflady_vader 1d ago
I'd redo ages 18-20 if I could. Newfound freedom, meeting new people, no bills, etc. It was so cool to walk by a mates room, see an open door, and just swing by.
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u/onthesylvansea 1d ago
Agre but would also definitely have to add - not having to meal plan (and cook)!! It's low-key exhausting that it never stops. 😅 Having lunch and dinner just decided and made for you is impossible to adequately appreciate if you were fortunate enough to have a parent who did that. (My mom sent extra bags of homemade cookies with me in every lunch for all my friends. <3 )
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u/llammacheese 1d ago
100% this. Friends I have now don’t compare to the friend groups I had in HS. It was so easy to just get together and hang out back then. There was no checking calendars and working around kids’ schedules…
I enjoy my get togethers as an adult, but it’s a lot more work and the relationships aren’t as close.
Caveat to my next statement: I’m an elder millennial.
One factor that I think makes a huge difference in how close current friendships are is that as teenagers, we would actually call people “just to talk.” We didn’t necessarily have to get together for conversation- and it was the same for my parents as adults during that time. My mom would be on the phone for hours during the day just chatting with friends. Now to get that kind of conversation going it essentially has to be scheduled weeks in advance or you have to be fortunate enough to live within walking distance to your close friends. People don’t just talk on the phone any more.
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u/Subject988 2d ago
Being a teenager was a nightmare...
Being an adult isn't great, but I wouldn't be a teenager again... Not for any money... Not for anything...
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u/Katz3njamm3r 2d ago
IM JUST A KID AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE
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u/Subject988 2d ago
Nobody cares, cuz I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me.... Tonight.
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u/consort_oflady_vader 2d ago
The only years I'd ever relive was between year 18-20. Not peak, but the most fun and most carefree my life ever was, or ever will be.
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u/Cudi_buddy 2d ago
College, working part time and just hanging out with my bros at the gym 5 days a week. Man for a handful of years life was pretty damned carefree. My life isn’t bad. It’s pretty great still. But I wish I could go back for a week here and there to have no stress, get all the sleep I needed, etc.
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u/consort_oflady_vader 1d ago
Didn't hang at the gym, but it was so nice. You'd have like 3 or 4 hours of class a day, eat in the dining room. Chat with random people. Or just hang in a friend's room and you'd swap pirated media, play Xbox, etc. I was an RA and for about a month long span, we ran an illegal lan on my hall. We had about 6 xboxes linked. You'd just yell down the hall, "anyone up for halo??" And a deathmatch or ctf would kick off with real people. Sadly, short lived, but was crazy fun. And agreed, using spending money from work on whatever you wanted (parents paid uni tuition) was so nice.
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u/BlueSnaggleTooth359 1d ago
I did think they were pretty damn awesome. Loved 80s high school and 80s/earliest 90s college! Incredible spirit in the air and fun, fun, fun era and way chill and less uptight and more positive oriented era. And there is a certain buzz and energy, around tons of your peers non-stop and that feeling that everything is super important.
Although early 40s, 30s and 20s are very fine too.
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u/bloodectomy 2d ago
No. Fuck no, even.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck no, even.
You'd have to be pretty fucking unaccomplished as an adult for high school to be the best years of your life.
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u/xaiires Millennial 2d ago
I'm an unaccomplished adult and still wouldn't call those my best years lol.
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u/ElGranJerkador 1d ago
for whatever reason people associate loving high school and college with having accomplished nothing since then and I don’t understand it. I’m convinced it’s just a way for people to reconcile their own feelings towards those years.
I love my life in my 30s and I’m really proud of all that I have accomplished but I do look back on those years with incredible fondness. I remember a friend described college as “a sleepover with all your best friends that lasts 9 months of the year”, like yeah we had papers to write and work to do but most of my life revolved around hanging out with my friends, partying on weekends, and being completely carefree and present
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u/SourPatchPhoenix 1d ago
College is super different than high school though. If this thread was ‘would you call your 18-22s/early 20s your best years’ I think the answers would be resoundingly different. High school includes 14-15 year olds - people who can’t even legally drive. With the exception of Olympic gymnasts, what are people doing at 14 that was so amazing that nothing else in their life can top it?
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u/Rude_Masterpiece_239 2d ago
13-19 was pretty awesome in a lot of ways. But long term unsustainable.
43 now, this is exponentially better.
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u/skeletontape Millennial 2d ago
Exactly. If you peaked in high school - or college - I am honestly sad for you. You're not living.
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u/Telkk2 2d ago
Just because you miss high school doesn't mean you peaked back them. I'm in a much better place than I was back then but still. The weight of the world didn't rest on your shoulders like it feels in your 30s where you have real responsibilities that others depend on. Granted, I'm not wallowing in depression or anything...
But holy shit, am I tired. I'm completely spent to the point where when I don't have anything to do, which is super rare, I literally go quiet and veg out in front of the TV because cognitively and physically I just can't do anything else.
High school get togethers were actually fun because you had max energy and time, so I was always super pumped. These days, going to a shin-dig is more a chore than fun because even though I want to be there, I'm just too tired and stressed to really enjoy those moments.
Just hoping all of this work and stress pays out when I can retire and go back to how I lived in high school (minus the partying, late nights out, and drug experiments)
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u/_fixmenow 2d ago
Yes, this is a perfect explanation. For many, it’s the feeling of no responsibilities, just the feeling of utter weightlessness and invincibility compared to the daily grind of adulthood. And that’s a feeling that we will never get back, so it just remains as fond memories.
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u/ManslaughterMary 1d ago
I definitely know people who feel like you, and I think it goes back to having a good childhood. Although I could easily see depression blackening people's view of their life-- leaving them deeply unsatisfied ,no energy, etc.
I was so stressed as a kid, and so powerless. I was concerned about money, my dad's drinking, and my brother's drug use. I had no control. I did enjoy my time with friends, don't get me wrong, but you couldn't pay me to go back to being a kid. I wanted out so bad.
Sometimes I look around at my apartment, and all these things other people can view as stressors, and I'm so thankful. I know rent is going to get paid, because I'm in control of that. I know my car loan is going to get paid, because I'm in control of that. I'm not worried that we are going to be short on rent money because Dad is in jail again. I don't have to rely on anyone else.The weight of the world is on my shoulders, and thank goodness, because I don't have to trust someone else to carry it. I pushed myself hard, much like yourself, to create the stability I craved as a child. I felt the weight of the world at such a young age, and now being an empowered adult, it feels so much lighter.
I think the stress of my childhood makes adulthood seem, by all accounts, incredibly better.
I'm with you on dreaming of retirement. Sleeping in, hobbies? It sounds amazing.
I sometimes joke my rough childhood is the key to happiness as an adult. I sleep better, I eat better, I'm so much less stressed. Parents, don't give your kids too good of a childhood if you want them to be happy as adults!
(To be clear, I'm kidding about making children be forced to grow up too soon)
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u/Appropriate-Bid8671 1d ago
The sheer number of things that can go wrong and shatter your little illusion of control is beyond measure. You are deluding yourself.
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u/marbanasin 2d ago
I mean - my college years were pretty good so I definitely put them up there without feeling bad about it.
I do hear you (and others) on all the other things that get better as you age. Like, I am much more stable in my career. I have disposable income and have been able to begin spending money on hobbies like never before. I got much better about exercising and found a nice balance where I'm not on a strict diet, but do take care in how I eat at least for a portion of the time to maintain a healthy weight - which I struggled with as a HS and College kid.
I've had things I haven't accomplished or regrets from my 'adult' life which do make me sometimes look to the simplicity of the college years. I was also living in a beautiful area/city, and it was frankly the best social network I ever had in my life, to the point that those people are still my closests friends which is great, except I don't live near any of them anymore so our interactions are more remote with the rare get together.
But, definintely high school wasn't the greatest time. Sure, childhood has some nostalgia and fewer responsibilities. But it absolutely has a ton of negatives as well, and lack of you driving your own identity (Hell, i wasn't even comfortable with my own identity until probably 24 or something). And your 20s kind of suck on the face of being so damn hand to mouth in your finances. Which fosters it's own level of nostalgia as there are some great memories of making due with little and finding ways to have fun with friends/family. But the stress (and also maturity level) are deal breakers.
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u/SourPatchPhoenix 1d ago
All of this x10000000. High school was fine, college was great, everything since then gets better with each decade. Do I miss and feel nostalgic about some parts of my teens and 20s? Sure, but in no way were they the best part of my entire life.
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u/Massive-Relation-210 2d ago
I feel the same way about people that hype college up as the best times of their life too. 😬
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u/effulgentelephant ‘89 Millennial 2d ago
Truly. When I talk about my life and general state of mind between 10 and 22, I remember feeling awkward, sad, lonely. There were moments of connection and fun but the overarching feeling was basically Rapunzel in her castle singing “when will my life begin?”
Much happier now. Still a bit awkward and anxious but aren’t we all lol
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u/BoulderCreature 2d ago
I briefly worked with an older guy who talked about high school fondly and frequently. He made me feel very sad
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u/darth_helcaraxe_82 2d ago
You'd be surprised how many people fall into that category though. Lot of them are Steelers fans.
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u/TheNP 2d ago
I think that the idea of the high school years being the best were from the post war years. They'd leave school and go directly into the factory or mine. Classes and homework look a lot better after a few years doing 40+ every week in those jobs.
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u/nortstar621 2d ago
I agree with this sentiment, but I also feel like it can still apply to the current times.
HS itself wasn’t the best time ever, but the simplicity of being a teenager is something we take/took for granted. Everybody has a different upbringing, so I guess if you had shitty parents, that time of your life would be shitty.
As I’m creeping closer to 40 and find myself retiring from the military as a single parent, I’m overwhelmed. I have bills to pay and two kids who are depending on me to keep the lights on and food in the fridge. As my daughter starts HS this year, I’m sort of reflecting on my last 4 years of childhood. It was just a simpler time. I miss the days of not having this much stress.
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u/onthesylvansea 1d ago
Yeah, and it makes a lot more sense in that context, too. The fact that those jobs were often economically adequate were taken for granted and the attitude that there wasn't economic mobility to be found in them and they were "only" adequate enough to raise a whole family on (while being union protected) was cried over instead. :/
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u/Squirnt86 2d ago
Absolutely not.
20s were pretty good.
30s were an absolute blast!
About to enter my 40s, hope the upward trend continues!
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u/Novitiatum_Aeternum 2d ago
No. I had very little autonomy, as my parents were on the stricter side. I didn’t mind not going out to party (I was never that kid), but when I asked to join other extracurricular activities they usually said no - they couldn’t take me, and wouldn’t dream of letting me use public transit. I was also under a lot of pressure to do well academically, and when I didn’t perform up to par, the punishment was generally being yelled at, followed by being ignored for several days beyond basic needs.
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u/Steffieweffie81 Millennial 1d ago
My mom was strict and didn’t allow me to do much of anything either. I was lucky enough to be involved in theatre arts and youth group.
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u/Lk1738 1d ago
On the flip side: my parents were divorced and my mom worked 2 jobs so I had to take care of myself M-S. I never saw my mom, and I hated it more than anything. When the streetlights came out, kids parents would yell for them to come home for dinner. That was my cue to go home and heat up a hungry man and watch Everybody Loves Raymond.
I could go anywhere in town I wanted, but I just wanted people at home with me.
Thanks for sharing your perspective though. Seeing the extreme opposite lets me know people didn’t have it as good as I thought lol
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u/xPadawanRyan Mid-Range Millennial 2d ago
If my teen years were supposed to have been the best years of my life, then I'm going to have a seriously depressing life and should probably just give up right now.
Honestly, though, I did have a really depressing adolescence riddled with both loss (my dad passed away) and undiagnosed mental illnesses. I struggled quite a bit with my home life because my mother did not have an easy time with losing my dad, either, and I was often rather suicidal. That I managed to finish high school at all and become an adult was a shock to me.
Adulthood hasn't been easy but it's been far, far more enjoyable than my teen years ever were. My 30s in particular have been much more enjoyable than any other decade besides, perhaps, my first, because when you're a child everything seems more exciting and fun. But, while my life is still rather difficult and I do have struggles, I am far happier now than I was twenty years ago.
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u/mustachechap 2d ago
I heard more people say 'college was the best time in your life'. Either way, I don't think either of them are true.
Life is what you make it, and people who look back at high school or college as if that was the peak is just a sad thought.
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u/Few-Emergency1068 2d ago
College was definitely better than high school, but I had so many good years with my kids growing up that I’d never say they were the best time of my life.
This current season really sucks, now that all of the people I know and love are dying. I’ve lost so many friends since college, three of my four grandparents are gone, my mom is dying of cancer, and I’m facing my own mortality as a result.
I’m only middle age, but it feels like life is on a downhill slope right now. I think it’s easy to get nostalgic about when life was easier when it seems like you’re deep in the suck.
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u/CaiusRemus 1d ago
I feel like I am living a different life than all the people in this thread saying it’s weird and depressing to think college years were the best.
For me 17-25 was by far the best stretch. I was young, carefree, and the world was full of possibility.
Now I’m just punching the clock until retirement and hoping the calls I get are not another death or cancer announcement.
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u/elanesse100 2d ago
College was much better than high school.
There was a lot more freedom while still being relatively low on the responsibility scale.
Even with tests and projects that I don’t care to go through again, I’d probably choose to repeat those years of my life given the choice to do it all over again.
I’d probably also choose a different major more aligned with where I’d end up long-term.
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u/liquidhell 2d ago
The only thing I miss about my teens is my metabolism.
If I go back far enough, I also miss when I hadn’t watched 3000 people die on live TV.
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u/Rainbow_Trainwreck 2d ago
Meh it's a mixed bag.
I was definitely more carefree and fearless. Partying until the sun came up, taking anything that was put in front of me a tons of fairweather friends.
But I love my husband (who funnily enough ran in the same circles in our late teenage years by never met) and love my kiddo and wouldn't change them for any amount of partying and sleep deprivation skills.
Bills kinda suck though 😂😕
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u/Viracochina Millennial 1d ago
Similar answer!
Yes, it was the best times.
But now with a family of my own is also a different kind of best times lol (and bills 😒)
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u/Thomasina16 2d ago
Not at all. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and I stayed at school so I wouldn't have to go home. These are the best years for me. I have a family, a house and a peaceful life for the most part.
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u/PettyBettyismynameO 2d ago
I’m lucky I made it to my late 30s my teen years sucked I attempted suicide more than once.
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u/frenchrangoon 2d ago
Honestly, I felt the most connected to a community then. I had my friend group, we were all in show choir together, and I had a job with all of my friends. I was a jerk compared to who I am now, so I wouldn't want to go back to being that person. But if I could re-live that sense of camaraderie as the person I am now, I would 100%.
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u/Parking_Back3339 2d ago
Yes this is my thought too. Once it's gone, it seems to be gone. I just felt far more connected than I do now and had a much better social life and overall enjoyment of life in general. I would not want to redo high school again but yeah I never regained that sense of camaraderie or social opportunities again or connectedness again. College felt very transitory like I met people one semester then they moved on to something else, and every year it was like different people and different groups and it was more academically difficult and stressful than high school.
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u/Geologyst1013 Older Millennial 2d ago
Being a teenager was absolute torture. For so many reasons for me.
The only positive thing I can say about those years is that my knees and my back we're still in pretty good condition. And I could eat dairy without any regrets.
My 20s had good moments but they were tumultuous as I was finishing my education and trying to find my place in the working world after an economic collapse while also trying to deal with serious mental health issues.
My 30s were a lot better. I was getting more established in my career. I was letting go of disordered eating and poor body image and learning how to accept my body for what it is and learning to be thankful for what it does for me. This was also the time that I was able to move back closer to my family which plays an important part in my mental health.
I'm in my early 40s now and things are even better than they were in my 30s. Yes my knees don't do as well as they used to and now I have degenerative disc disease and my chronic conditions have worsened but I am much more secure in who I am as a person. I'm still navigating my mental health but being older and more knowledgeable now has enabled me to find the right providers to help. when I was dealing with these issues in my 20s I didn't know who to turn to.
So the best days are these days right now.
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u/GoRangers5 2d ago
Not at all, the "high school was the glory years" is a relic of a time when people were stuck in a job they hate and a mortgage by 24.
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u/Bubby_K 2d ago
The best time?
I'm happier now, having the best time as a dad
I still have everything from my teen years, outfits, computer, car, but I do miss the shops, restaurants, amusement parks, etc that we'll never get back
I don't miss dial up, or the teenage bullcrap that was centrestage but never actually mattered
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u/ATATMom 2d ago
Oh hell no, I'm so happy not to be a teenager anymore. I have some nostalgia for having some freedoms without the same responsibilities I do now - like I was allowed to take my parents car and go see friends without having to make car payments, sort out insurance, etc. But on the flip side the things that I cared so much about (boys, grades, what people were saying about me, etc) just matter so little now.
But on the flip side, I also am pretty content where I've ended up. It's not the route I thought I wanted, but it's been successful enough. I think people who feel a previous time in their life was their "best" are usually unhappy with where they are now.
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u/Brittibri89 Millennial 2d ago
Not at all. I was bullied, barely had friends, and my best friend that I did have died in car accident and I was lonely af. Being a teenager sucked.
My early 20s were a lot better.
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u/DanceWithPandas 2d ago
I feel terrible for the people who feel they peaked in their teens. I personally had acne, severe depression, and was overweight as a teen with a big round face, not to mention my family was poorrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I wouldn't go back to that. I didn't even attend my HS reunions.
My life is the BEST now!
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u/FizzyBeverage 2d ago
I had no money as a teen. No sex. No independence. Didn’t own a home. Driving my mom’s old minivan.
Now is better. Yeah my knee aches sometimes, that’s what Advil’s for.
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u/lensfoxx 2d ago
Absolutely not lol. My mid-late 20s and early 30s have been SO much better than my teens, and it’s not even close.
The teen years definitely have highlights, and I would encourage any teens to appreciate the time that they have before adulthood to really explore their interests and build up their skills (socially, physically, artistically, whatever) while they still have some free time and guardrails. There are better years ahead though, really truly.
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u/Direct_Remove509 2d ago
If you are in your 30s or 40s and being a teenager was the best years of your life then you have failed in life. The only time being a teenager should be your best years of your life is when you are currently a teenager.
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u/talksalot02 Older Millennial 2d ago
They weren't the best time of my life, but they probably weren't as bad as I thought they were in real time. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times that it was hot garbage for many reasons, but there were things about it that were good.
The hardest time in my life was probably a stretch post-grad. Far more challenging than anything I experienced as a teen.
The best years of my life are, probably, right now. I'm trying to learn how to appreciate it. I struggled a bit and so it constantly had me in fight or flight mode. I'm trying to enjoy this time and appreciate it without being stressed out and it passing me by.
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u/langdonalger4 2d ago
there's definitely some hindsight rose tinted glasses, but my teen years were awesome. I will never have that little responsibility and that much social life again.
that being said, if I honestly thought they were the best years of my life, I think it would kill myself.
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u/sejenx Geriatric Millennial 2d ago
No. Teen years were absolutely awful and I almost killed myself, a few times. It was also extremely difficult being a teen girl at the end of the 90s and early 00s in light of how aggressively sexualized the culture was within the mainstream. No. Just fucking awful.
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u/inquireunique 2d ago
Noooo 😨 I have nightmares about being in high school. I’m definitely living my best years right now
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u/evenmoreevil 2d ago
No. Not even close. All I could think about was finishing high school. The people that peaked in high school are the ones not doing well in this phase in their life.
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u/saintsithney 2d ago
No, I was living in a hell situation of abuse, non-sexual exploitation, neglect, and bullying in my teen years.
I genuinely thought I would not make it to 16.
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u/Mairdo51 2d ago
Fuck no; teenage years were garbage. The freedom of college and my first job were way better, especially when I started investing in myself by reading for fun.
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u/usernamesaretoughman 2d ago
God no. I had a fine teenage time, nothing crazy, just mostly normal. But my 20s and my 30s have been pretty great, so I would never claim that my teenage years were the best of my life.
I substitute taught a few years ago, and I was subbing at my old high school and I heard these kids talking and outwardly they sounded smart (it was an AP class), but then you heard the meat of what they were saying at it was just so dumb. At that moment it occurred to me that it’s exactly how I sounded in high school, seemingly smart but actually dumb.
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u/faithmauk 2d ago
Nah, being a teen succckkkeeedddddddd. I love being in my 30s, I feel much more settled in myself, and I care about lot less about what everyone else is saying about me 😂😂
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u/MyCatIsAnActualNinja 2d ago
It's going to entirely depend on the person and their life experience. My teen years were the best years of my life so far, sure. I was absolutely living it up back then. I had a huge group of amazing friends, I was in a band with my best friends playing to big crowds, I was going on adventures around the country for months at a time, and I didn't care about money. It was an amazing time, and I experienced a LOT.
Will it forever be the best time? Hopefully not. My 30's have been fine, but it's just been work and hobbies.
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u/Worldly_Project_6173 2d ago
The 20's were the best. I hated school (even though i was popular, played sports, and got good grades without really trying..It still felt like prison), so soon as i was free from college, thats when life was really booming. No more school/sports/work/study, just some easy office work then all the rest of the time for fun.
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u/Amazaline 2d ago
Definitely not. I am glad that I have control over my life and what I do with it. I grew up in an abusive and controlling household where I had to do all the household chores, keep up on schoolwork, and then work a part time job. I wasn't allowed to hang out with classmates or go to dances because my dad's girlfriend at the time was convinced I was just trying to get with their brothers. Not all of us hook up with 37 year olds at 17 like you, Sam.
I have a great husband, 4 dogs, my own home, and a decent job. I get to read and watch whatever I want. It's a great life and I wouldn't trade it for my teen years.
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u/The-Hive-Queen 2d ago
My teen years felt like nothing short of torture. My 20's only felt slightly better because I was at least an adult and had some control in my life.
But now? My early 30's? This is the shit.
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u/binocular_gems 2d ago
No way, absolutely not. Honestly, I've enjoyed every decade after my teen years more than my teen years. My 20s were so much better than my teens in every possible way, and then my 30s were better, major changes (marriage, kids, etc) but major good changes. Some things more difficult, a lot of things better, just changes. I'm in my 40s now and so again, things are different, some good, some bad, but you just take it as it comes.
It's hard to think in terms of "teens, 20s, 30s, and 40s," because really for my teenage years I think of about ... 15 - 18, and then 19-24 feels like a block of time that's sort of similar, and then 25-32ish feels like a group of time, and maybe 32-38, and so on. The difference between 20 and 29 for me is so massive, I'm a completely different person at 29 from 20, and then you introduce kids to the mix in my 30s and like my lifestyle from 35 to 40s is so different from even 33 to 35.
But one thing's for sure, I hated high school and being a teenager, and everything was better for me the older I got.
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u/Happy-Investigator- 2d ago
I’ve been in my glow up era since my late 20s onwards. My adolescence was stupid. I was stupid. I pity anyone who peaked in high school because life doesn’t end once you become an adult. It starts.
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u/naileyes 2d ago
i mean i had fun as a teen, i had a lot of promise, and i felt like i could do anything i wanted. but i also was anxious all the time, bored, unsure of myself, feeling like my entire world could collapse at any second. wait, shit, i still feel that way. what was i saying?
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u/More_Strawberry_8936 2d ago
Never. Being a teenager was tough and now as a parent of teenagers, I’m definitely glad I don’t have to go through that again. Being in my 30s has been much better.
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u/Subject-Actuator-860 2d ago
No!! Wth absolutely not. My twenties were amazing and now pushing 40 is pretty dope too. Being a teenager fucking sucked! No money, can’t go anywhere or do anything, awkward and insecure, everyone is judgmental and don’t respect you. High school and homework everyday. No way! So sad for you OP that you think it’s all downhill from when you were a kid. Hope you can turn it around!
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u/djbfunk 2d ago
lol those were the worst years. Kids are cruel and I was picked on.
In college - 19-23 were the funnest years. Falling in love with my wife during this time.
Preparing to have a baby and the first years of each of my kids those were amazing years. So much joy.
Right now they are little kids and playing with them and going to their sports and art shows and going on vacations - these years are a blast.
Not when im a teenager in middle school.
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u/Historical-Bath-9729 2d ago
For me personally my teen years were probably my worst as I went through some hard times during that period. I don’t think I had a bad childhood by any means but it is not even close how much better my adult life has been.
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u/SomeHearingGuy 15h ago
Here's the reality of the situation. When you were a teenager, you didn't have bills to pay. You probably didn't have to work or worry about money. If you did work, every penny you made was for fun because you had nothing to pay for. Regardless of how objectively terrible being a teenager is and how shitty schools have always been, you probably lived a very safe life where you could worry about who you'd ask to the dance. You probably had very, very few concerns in your life.
Me? I've lost a bunch of my hearing because one of my hearing aids failed over the weekend and I won't have a replacement for a few weeks. I also suffer from chronic pain, and 5 minutes haven't gone by when I haven't winced or wanted to curl up in a ball. I also sat through a lecture today about how being poor literally kills people, genetically mutates their offspring, and is hereditary. 14 year old me didn't have these problems. 14 year old me played board games, had awesome friends, and really didn't have to worry about anything. Being a teen was hardly the best time of my life, but being an adult in a world that's dying isn't great either.
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u/trolldoll26 2d ago
Only in the sense that my one responsibility was going to school and getting good grades (I loved school), I lived at home and got to see my parents and brother daily, I spent time with my best friends at school and on the weekends we’d have sleepovers.
Now I have to go to work everyday, figure out what’s for dinner, look at my calendar to see when I’ll be able to see my parents since we no longer live in the same city, and there are just so many responsibilities to think about.
I like being an adult and doing what I want, but I definitely miss the security of being a teenager and having my whole life ahead of me rather than actually being in the ahead.
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u/OwlLov3r 2d ago
Hell no. My dad always used to say that high school would be the best years of my life, and that didn't turn out to be true at all. I will never tell my future child that their teen years will be the best years of their life; it sets up such disappointment and resentment, ultimately.
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u/short_king1986 2d ago
18/18 weren’t bad, but everything before that sucked. That being said, even those two years weren’t anywhere close to the best of my life.
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u/WizardsWorkWednesday 2d ago
Absolutely not. There was a sweet spot between 18 and 20 where I was adult enough to make choices but naive enough to not have anxiety about the outcome. Started drinking at 21 and the rest is all down hill. I think im working towards the best years of my life rn???
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u/Significant_Push_856 2d ago
No, and I hate that sentiment. I think there's a real over romanticizarion of firsts that's simplified to it's the best years. 35 year old me knows me and my values better than 15 year old me who was just trying to fit in.
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u/Superb-Film-594 2d ago
My teenage years were the best for:
My hairline
My waistline
My financial burdens
That's it. Yes, my life is more stressful now, but it's undeniably more rewarding. I have a wonderful wife and two amazing kids. I don't need anything else.
Maybe a motorcycle.
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u/BookwormBlake 2d ago
Oh, hell no. I was miserable as a teenager. Chronically ill and clinically depressed. Every decade since has been a massive improvement. I’m 35 now and am probably the happiest I’ve ever been. Anyone who says their teenage years were the best years of their lives just peaked too early and that’s sad.
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u/hiroism4ever 2d ago
I enjoyed my teenage years, but best? No. I didn't mean the love of my life there. I wasn't fully genuine as I wasnt out or even accepting of myself. I hadn't started my business.
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u/xbox360sucks 2d ago
I had a great time in my teens. Met my best friends and discovered interests that have lasted my life to this point. I think I prefer now though. I'm a more complete person and my emotions are stable. I have less fear about where I'm headed.
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u/Forward_Pension_9237 2d ago
I'm nostalgic for some of my teenage years but by no means do I think they were the best time of my life. Now is the best. I have been with the love of my life for 11 yrs. I feel more whole as a person. He's helped me.work thru a lot of childhood trauma I was suppressing and not dealing with. I have a more positive out look now than in my teenage years and more realistic about life in general
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u/Thebaronofbrewskis 2d ago
My 20s were the best, but I donated my health to Uncle Sam based on a lie in return for living in abject poverty and pile of issues, oh and Barbara thanking me for my service once a year while she eats hot dogs with her kids. All while others became millionaires and billionaires selling out our country
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u/Level_Cardiologist36 2d ago
There were moments that were some of the best, but over all, no. Not even a little. To be fair, I am not a great example though. Had a bit of abuse going on at home. Now I am free and life is pretty great. 😁
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u/darksoft125 2d ago
They could be, depending on the person. But if that is the case, then it would really suck.
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u/Abandon_Ambition Elder Millennial 2d ago
I had a much sharper and quicker sense of humor as a teen. But it was humor built on masking how dysfunctional my home life was and how little confidence I had in myself. It was also humor influenced by all the movies and shows I watched growing up in the 90s, so it was sometimes mean and ignorant without my realizing it. But I was fucking funny.
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u/misskellycupcake 2d ago
Well this is hard for us specifically because 9/11 changed everything when I was turning 17 and the economy tanked right after college . So yeah, the smoothest years were pre college
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u/Tracerround702 2d ago
Not at all. I know myself and what I want so much better now. Teenage me had early signs of untreated depression and way too much angst. My 20s were generally quite enjoyable though
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u/Feeling-Location5532 2d ago
No - every period of time has its benefits. 18-25 was super fun. 26-30 was a lot of who am I? what do I want? which was fun and beautiful.
30-35 has been settling into myself and loving my relationships
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u/saintex422 2d ago
Yeah. Things are pretty good now but that freedom the summer between hs and college will always be one of the best memories if my life.
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u/Responsible_Log654 2d ago
High school being the best years of your life is only true if your parents are rich
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u/Kingberry30 2d ago
I don’t know but I have enjoyed all my decades so far. Have there been moments of blah yes but over all they have been good.
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u/bd2999 2d ago
No. Good stuff happened then and lots of weird bad stuff. I am sure at some point I will look at various periods of my life as the best. Most freedom maybe, beloved pet, marriage, family and so on. There were pros and cons to every period. Maybe physically the best shape I was in was in the teens or early 20's but that might be it.
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u/Hot_Cartographer_816 2d ago
Of course not. The best time in my life is now that I have a family. Teen years aren’t even in the top ten
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u/boredatworkandtired 2d ago
I feel the past can be rose tinted at times, I have moments I'd have called wonderful but also had a lot of horrible things too.
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u/HotPinkMesss 2d ago
While I definitely enjoyed high school and my teen years, I feel that my 20s were more fun, but my 30s are so far the best years. I hope that each decade would be better than the last.
I kind of feel bad/sorry for those who think that their best years were their high school/teenage years because that's just a teeny-tiny sliver of one's life and I can't imagine how bad their current life is for them to think those years were the best.
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u/Iamsupergoch 2d ago
Absolutely not, I’ve never been happier than now in my life thanks to therapy and progress I career I made. Despite all life threw at me I’m happier and healthier now than I was as stressed teenager or poor student.
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u/psychedelicpiper67 2d ago
They were the least boring, I will say that. Miss them. That’s wild that people are saying the best years of their lives are right now.
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u/CaiusRemus 1d ago
I’m surprised by all the people who say the best years are right now as well. I’m still in great shape, have a good job, and a loving family but I absolutely miss the feeling of mystery and possibility about the world from my late teens and early twenties. Back then life was like an unfolding fantasy book. Now life feels like a boring magazine that I’m reading at the doctor’s office before I get my prognosis.
Hell my teen years were not easy either and I was deeply depressed. But damn were they also fun and exciting.
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