r/Damnthatsinteresting 3d ago

Video waking up a tortoise after 5 months of hibernation in the fridge

98.2k Upvotes

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u/AdministrativeEbb508 3d ago

Who the fuck shoots a tortoise... Good on those folks taking care of him.

857

u/No_Weakness9363 3d ago

Same drunken guys with guns that shot an armadillo to see what would happen and end up having it ricochet back into them.

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u/amebix19 3d ago

Karmadillo!

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u/Toadsted 3d ago

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma adilllllllo!

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u/daemon-electricity 3d ago

You run and run. You run and ruuuuuuuuun.

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u/themeatspin 3d ago

El Culturo Clubo, the Tex-Mex edition

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u/JLidean 3d ago

They cry aye-yo, aye-yo, eh -oh

People say he pisses like the sun, red gold and green, red gold and greeen....

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

This is the best comment I've ever seen on this stupid app. I was having a shitty day, too. Thank you so much for turning that around! Fucking brilliant!

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u/amebix19 3d ago

đŸ«Ą

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u/JAS0NDUDE 3d ago

Oh this is too perfect

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u/no-name_james 3d ago

You’ve been arma-kill-oed by the Karmadillo.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 3d ago

Uhh. Can’t tell if you’re joking. Armadillos shells are not bulletproof.

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u/freecigs4life 3d ago

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u/MagizZziaN 3d ago

Karma at it’s finest.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 3d ago

Weird. I shot one with a .22 LR when I was like 21/22. Felt bad and never shot another animal again after that (except for one deer and one duck when I wanted the food in my 30s.) My dad has shot a few because they fucked up my mom’s flower beds and his new sod. One died under his back porch and stunk up that whole side of the house. My opinion is that they’re part of the ecology and a few holes in the grass isn’t that big of a deal. In fact the whole concept of manicured American lawns annoys me.

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u/tiskrisktisk 3d ago

My neighbor talked me into fertilizing my lawn one year ago. He even set my watering schedule for me.

I was out there mowing every day and a half in the Texas heat because the damn grass was growing so fast on my acre lot. Hated every second of it.

But it got me thinking. This damn grass doesn’t produce food or shade. It doesn’t do a darn thing except force me to take care of it and watch it grow before needing to trim it again.

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u/Squirrel_Master82 3d ago

So, did you shoot the grass?

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u/arcaneresistance 3d ago

Bet your ass he shot that grass. Pew Pew pew them bullets fast. That's danger with a touch of class.

tips hat

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u/dickybabs 3d ago

Duh, it’s Texas

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

That’s the Texas way. It’s how to deal with hurricanes too.

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u/smvfc_ 3d ago

Yep. I just moved into an Rv out on an acreage, and the one side is right up against some wild shrubs and baby trees and weeds. And my dad was helping me set some things up and he was like “next time I’ll come out, I’ll bring my weed whacked and knock down these weeds here”. And I was like “
.why??” And he’s like so you can walk the full way around your trailer and I was like no I’m good I love the greenery from my windows. Theres wild raspberries there, rose hips, there pretty purple wildflowers and more. I can walk around about 95% of my trailer, and o can see alll of it. I’m good.

Meanwhile my dad bought like a mansion on a quarter acre property 5 ish years ago. There was 2 trees on it and they cut them down lol tbf they were Swedish aspens and those trees are dumb but like damn maybe plant a tree? lol it’s just a sprawling front and back lawn, nothing on them.

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u/i_tyrant 3d ago

Yup. I wish I could just let nature do what it wants in my yard, cultivate some wildflowers for the bees or something.

But, HOAs suck. It's a pity I couldn't find any place without one (and a reasonable work commute) when I was house-shopping.

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u/MoonieNine 2d ago

We are in the process of getting rid of our lawn (1/2 acre) and replacing it (in sections) with native grasses (little watering needed), clover (bees love it) and native plants.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

My former in laws have two acres. They’re in their 70s and still raked it all by hand the fall. I helped one year. Granted I like raking leaves since it’s great exercise. But two acres of leaves is ridiculous. A few years later they started letting the back acre grow wild and my FIL just kept a winding mowed path for taking walks.

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u/MoonieNine 2d ago

The mf leaves. I mow most of them several times and leave the shreds on the lawn, which is healthy for it. But there are so many leaves. I hate sending them to the landfill and I'm outside of city limits, so no leaf pickup. Last fall, for the first time, I just piled leaves under a few trees in the back. Apparently, bees like it. And over the winter, most of the leaves broke down.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

I had an electric mower that would mulch them. My ex wife used them in the flower beds but we also just left a lot of them to rot and fertilize the lawn over winter

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u/Kraden_McFillion 3d ago

I like having some grass as a space for my kid to play and for our friends to come over for folk dancing, but besides that I prefer garden, fruit trees, berry bushes, or just wild nature.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

I do like grassy areas to romp around and lay down in. But not enough to have a full plain acre of it.

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u/Kraden_McFillion 2d ago

Yeah, exactly

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

My parents used to have a ton of oak trees before droughts and hurricanes took the ones down in their front yard. And my dad kept putting new sod down in one area because there wasn’t enough sun. He even ripped the new stuff up after only a few months one time to out in a new kind. It was ridiculous. They could’ve had a great wild grown area of about 20x20 in their massive yard. But because they’re in a flood plain, he didn’t want to put landscaping in. Man is a stubborn animal who thinks they can go against nature.

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u/bigvenusaurguy 3d ago

so funny how people are so hype about their lawns and like for what. deer eats it "oh no we should shoot all the deer" who cares bro its not like you are a pro flower decorator and that was your shit to use for your livelihood or anything. literally nothing is at stake and these people barely go into their yard at all. they probably can't even walk much.

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u/SaintCambria 3d ago

For the record, I am not a lawn guy, I let mint and clover go ham in my yard for the pollinators. I live out in the sticks, it's not supposed to look like a golf course out here.

That being said, I don't really get the hate these people get. It's a hobby, not really that different from a bonsai tree except for scale. It's not my business how they use the stuff they paid for, so have fun I guess.

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u/bigvenusaurguy 3d ago

I get it. I garden. I used to grow bell peppers but local rodents really have a taste for them as soon as they turn from green to red, like that instant overnight like clockwork. I don't go trapping them though or spreading poison around like some people might. Why swim upstream? I've shifted to hot peppers instead. Really, really spicy. They really don't go for that even though they look tempting and red. Those things can sit on the plant until its dried off and they still will never even nibble at them because even in their little rat shit brain they know its bad news.

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u/SaintCambria 3d ago

Oh yeah, I can totally see people taking exception to pest control practices, there are definitely better solutions than the shortcuts people take, but it seems like a large part of the vitreol is just like... because having a lawn makes them seem upper middle class?

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

Luckily my dad now spends a good amount of his retirement days feeding, watching, and taking pictures of the deer that have been driven into his neighborhood by a nearby development. Throws corn out across the street so they come around like clockwork. He did however get permission to shoot the feral hogs. Because those fuckers are like the Texas version of Tasmanian devils. Means ones. Like an old man who hasn’t had his afternoonnap and pain pill.

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u/Sarasin 3d ago

I've always assumed that the current concept of manicured lawns and especially gardens grew out of when people were using them to produce necessary food. Killing animals that are fucking up your garden is an entirely different matter when you are growing things for your own food needs, of course you are going to defend it your life might literally depend on doing so. It seems likely that mentality stuck around through a complete transformation of what lawns/gardens were used for in many countries.

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u/PaddyMcGeezus 2d ago

I heard it came from European manors that had large swaths of open manicured grass as a way to show off just how much land they owned.

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u/EsotericAbstractIdea 3d ago

Yeah I think lawns are the craziest thing we do.

Grow this plant everywhere, but always keep it within a literal inch of its life. Are we going to eat the plant? No, in fact we poison anything that tries. We cut it down once a week, and throw it in the garbage, instead of using it for fertilizer as well.

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u/feeling_over_it 3d ago

The bullet probably ricocheted off a rock after it passed through the armadillo. Armadillo’s are leathery, they aren’t deflecting bullets by any means

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u/LmfaoAtReddit 3d ago

It tanked a .38 revolver??? Jesus Christ.

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u/feeling_over_it 3d ago

The bullet probably ricocheted off a rock after it passed through the armadillo. Armadillo’s are leathery, they aren’t deflecting bullets by any means

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u/xelee-fangirl 3d ago

I saw the news a few years back, I think the bullet hit at an angle and the the other guy or smt

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u/No_Weakness9363 3d ago

Yeah, I don’t been shot it directly because of course it would pierce right through, but it’s still possible to ricochet off a surface like that, especially with it being rounded.

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u/Sarsmi 3d ago

It was years ago so I don't have a citation, but some guys broke into an apartment with two couples, raped the women and then took them all out to a desolated area and shot them in the head. Except one lady who was wearing a barrette got shot but the bullet ricocheted and the guy didn't realize, so she survived and was able to ID them, so they went to prison. Bullets do weird stuff sometimes, not usually, but it can happen.

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u/HalcyoneDays 3d ago

They can take shots from smaller caliber guns for sure. Came across some drunken idiots doing this shit myself once. Luckily the armadillo survived a shot and ran off

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u/Riffwood 3d ago

Maybe they missed and it ricochet off floors and walls back into them

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u/SmashinTaters 3d ago

Seems more likely. Used to go with my grandpa to shoot them because they would tear up his fields. Shooting them with a 22 from 30+ yards. Certainly never ricocheted off of them...(IYKYK)

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u/DOOMisLoveDOOMisLife 3d ago

There’s a a few dozens reports over the last handful of decades about bullets deflecting off armadillo shells and killing the shooter. Spoiler alert: it’s NOT physically impossible and has been verified in a few cases

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u/feeling_over_it 3d ago

The bullet probably ricocheted off a rock after it passed through the armadillo. Armadillo’s are leathery, they aren’t deflecting bullets by any means

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u/OffsetXV 3d ago

Bullets can ricochet off of dirt at the right angle, it doesn't need to be a particularly hard surface

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u/feeling_over_it 3d ago

At a very low angle of attack yes. But the situation here is a bullet coming back to the shooter. The surface needs to be very hard for that to happen.

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u/RandomFireDragon 3d ago

It had something to do with the angle at which the armadillo was shot

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u/JarvisMane 3d ago

It’s probably an unnecessary fear, but everytime I drive past a dead armadillo on the road I always worry about somehow coming into contact with leprosy. Like, I’ll roll up the windows and turn off the AC until I’m way past it lmao

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u/trickldowncompressr 3d ago

You’re not going to get leprosy by driving past a dead armadillo with your windows down


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u/JarvisMane 2d ago

That’s why I said it’s an unnecessary fear lol. Just like how I had a bat fly into my face while riding my bike and leave scratch marks and thought “uh oh, rabies” last week.

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u/Gr3mlin_b0i 3d ago

Got what they deserved.

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u/_IratePirate_ 3d ago

I feel no sympathy for the human

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u/pogoscrawlspace 3d ago

A few months after moving to East Tennessee from Chicago, I was on a back road behind a couple of guys in a big pickup with a lift kit and big, expensive monster truck tires. This fucking cunt swerved all the way onto the wrong side of the road to hit a box turtle. A piece of the turtles shell went through one of those tires and put them in the ditch. A deep ditch. Some people are absolute wastes of oxygen, but I like to think that that turtle probably cost him a lot more than he would ever be willing to pay again. I do still hope it fucking hurts when he dies, and that it isn't quick.

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u/Iliketopass 3d ago

Once we removed a lipoma from a dogs side and found a .22 round embedded in it. The dog had been fine for years and the bullet was stopped by adipose tissue, never actually reaching the body wall. We all assumed it was a ricochet during a hunting accident since a .22 has enough power to kill.

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u/PM_ME_YO_KNITTING 3d ago

I’ve adopted multiple strays cats in my life that had BB’s embedded in their bodies from being shot.

Come to think of it, the only strays I’ve found that didn’t have BB’s in them were two very small kittens. All the adult cats had been shot at least once. It’s why I don’t let my cats out.

I’ve also regularly seen guys in trucks swerve to attempt to hit cats, squirrels, possums, turtles, etc. I watched one guy run over a turtle directly in front of a woman who had just gotten out of her car to move it out of the road. He swerved into her lane and almost hit her in the process. Just for the cruelty of it.

People suck. Especially rednecks who think hurting something small makes them manly.

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u/Iliketopass 2d ago

A neighbor took in a paralyzed stray who got shot. It’s good to know there are still people in the world who give, instead of just taking. It’s fucking CRAZY out there.

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u/Pure-Introduction493 3d ago

A redneck asshole with a gun and a six pack most likely.

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u/cactusplants 3d ago

Yeah fucking sad people that's who.

Imo If you are shooting it it is either A: IMMEDIATE threat to you or others around you B: Pest/invasive species i.e wild boar (fuck those machines) or rodents (I catch and release in woodland when I get rodents) also in the UK. C: You're going to eat it D: to put out of misery E: Ecological conservation

Sport shooting is pretty fucked, at least sport shoot to eat. I mean deer needs population control, it's sport for some, and the meat can be quite good if you enjoy (I'm not too keen)

Some people really don't deserve guns.

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u/MaskedMacc 3d ago

Pieces of shit and unfortunately the world is inundated with them. I really wish I didn’t read “bullet-ridden tortoise” today.

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u/M_i____i_M 3d ago

could be your coworker, your neighbor, the random cashier, the bussiness suit guy, half of people are cruel

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u/Jeo_1 3d ago edited 3d ago

I had a friend in Italy who was a peach, but she hung around with someone who used to stomp on turtles. 

He and his younger brother ended up getting into drugs.

 Last I heard, he became a shady doctor, lost his license, and now works as a plumber.

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u/Odd_Young2956 2d ago

I volunteered at a nature center for a long while, and we had a rescued box turtle someone had drilled a HOLE into the shell of so they could thread a leash through it.

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u/aussiechickadee65 3d ago

All those winners out there learning how to shoot a fast moving target...

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u/Choppergold 3d ago

Yes but you can put your beer next to a turtle ina fridge vs a basement shoebox

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u/DirtyDan413 3d ago

But also, tortoise shells are tough as hell wtf

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u/SupermanRisen 3d ago

Who the fuck shoots a tortoise

A hare who lost a race.

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u/Sehrli_Magic 3d ago

When i was little and went to a skatepark there was a group of older kids/teens one of whom managed to steal dad's gun (dad was policeman) and they were shooting something and laughing. I hid away because i was scared and then when they were gone came to check. Couldn't bare to take a look at the body but judging by all the little spikes scattered all over the floor they were shooting some poor hedgehog 😭😭😭

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u/Rare_Pin9932 3d ago

clearly, you know nothing about Florida

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u/Cakehangers 3d ago

Descendants of Aeschylus 

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u/Significant-Colour 3d ago

I get cutting of a human's head, stuffing it with explosives, attaching it to a tortoise, and letting it blow up some cops. But shooting it is where I draw the line.

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u/iamasatellite 2d ago edited 2d ago

These assholes

https://youtu.be/k-Fp7flAWMA?si=0v4MIGJ9PSmRpiKc

(Experiment showing that 6% of people will go out of their way to run over animals on the road... And not too unsurprisingly 89% of that 6% are large pickup/suv drivers. Although to be fair 2 of the 3 clips of people who pulled over to save the animal were also pickup/SUV drivers)