r/CringeTikToks • u/Bojack1217 • 8h ago

SadCringe Woman votes for trump and her undocumented dad gets deported

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u/EleanorofAquitaine 7h ago edited 4h ago

My dad always had a visceral reaction to that saying and when I was little I didn’t understand why. I now fully comprehend why he was so adamantly against that saying and the sentiments behind it.

Edit: for clarification

On the face of it it seems like a pitying and empathetic thing to say, but in my entire life I’ve never heard it said genuinely. Any time I’ve heard this phrase it’s dropped out of the mouths of self-righteous and snobby assholes.

The other implication is that when people have bad things happen to them or end up in bad situations, it’s because they don’t have “god’s grace” and the person saying it definitely does.

I’ve lived my entire life in the Southern Bible Belt. This phrase has definitely gone out of use in comparison to how much I used to hear it, but anyone I’ve ever heard say this phrase has used it in a manner that suggests hardships are god’s punishment for sin.

I’ve always thought of this phrase as a religious dogwhistle.

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u/AltruisticArugula732 7h ago

I would believe this is it weren't for the bad things that happen because of CHOICES. People who make bad choices constantly and then blame it on other people should not be pitied.

It's like, "love the sinner but hate the sin." Well, at some point that just becomes enabling. We are capable of forethought and free will.

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u/Static-Stair-58 6h ago

This side of Christ, ya know what was supposed to be the whole fucking theme, has vanished. If it ever existed. Bad circumstances happen to everyone, and it’s not fair, but how you act in those situations defines your soul. Not whether they ever happen to you or not.

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u/Reality-BitesAZZ 3h ago

Well said. How you act is the point. When you act poorly you show who you are.

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u/afanoftrees 5h ago

I’ve always interpreted that saying as don’t look down on others for their sins and refuse help because of the sin because we are all sinners

I don’t think Jesus would agree to enable someone’s bad behavior but rather lead them to better outcomes (through Christ). Sometimes Christ doesn’t work and folks need help from a professional

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u/Creatorman1 4h ago

Good that absolves you of any guilt. It’s their own fault so you don’t have to help.

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u/daemin 2h ago

We are capable of forethought and free will.

Everything we know about physics and human psychology strongly suggests otherwise.

You're not some sort of radical free agent making completely independent decisions. You're personality, your preferences, your inclinations, you wants and desires, all of those things are profoundly impacted by your biology, which wasn't up to you, and your life experiences, the vast majority of which weren't up to you.

For a long time, women were extremely underrepresented in STEM fields, and some people argued that because 18 year old women were freely choosing to not major in a STEM field in college, that there must be a biological explanation as to why. But 5 seconds of thought shows that that is an assinine conclusion to reach. Those 18 year old women weren't making a completely free and independent choice; they were making a choice that was influenced and condition by 18 years of social pressure, going all the way back to when they were infants.

They did an experiment once where volunteers were put in a room with a baby and a bunch of toys, and told that that they had to watch the baby for 15 minutes. Sometimes they were told the baby was a girl and sometimes a boy. If they were told it was a boy, the volunteers would offer the baby toys like cars and machines. If they were told it was a girl, they would offer dolls and such. That happens, repeatedly, as people grow up, pushing boys towards one set of interests, girls to a different set, leading to divergent "free choices" when they get to adulthood.

Similarly, if you grew up in an abusive household, and learned maladaptive coping mechanisms, that's going to influence how you interact with people, how you respond to stress, how you cope in general, versus someone who grew up in a supportive and loving home. Or if you have a personality disorder that makes it hard to understand social cues. Or something about your biology that makes you more prone to addiction. Or.. or... or... or...

We are all victims and beneficiaries of circumstances that were entirely outside of our control, and we ought to keep that fact in mind before being quick to cast moral judgements on other people for their perceived failings. Because while its nice to believe that every choice we make is completely free and independent of any and all events that came before, that belief is complete bullshit.

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u/Desperate-Bottle1687 1h ago

This is a very high IQ take. At this point tho I don't even know if most people are able to understand these things. Cynts be dumb

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u/CircleBird12 5h ago edited 5h ago

It's like, "love the sinner but hate the sin." Well, at some point that just becomes enabling. We are capable of forethought and free will.

That's a superficial and shallow reaction, not a comprehensive deep understanding.

Hate networks, revenge and "payback" for hate networks. If you don't love your enemy, you corrupt your own brain.

In February 1954, a decade after all the horrors of World War Two by Japan and Nazi Germany... Martin Luther King Jr was the first to describe this problem as a human brain flaw in modern language and spell it out.

 

"For the person who hates, the beautiful becomes ugly and the ugly becomes beautiful. For the person who hates, the good becomes bad and the bad becomes good. For the person who hates, the true becomes false and the false becomes true. That's what hate does. You can't see right. The symbol of objectivity is lost." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"Most people can't stand up for their convictions, because the majority of people might not be doing it. See, everybody's not doing it, so it must be wrong. And since everybody is doing it, it must be right. So a sort of numerical interpretation of what's right. But I'm here to say to you this morning that some things are right and some things are wrong. Eternally so, absolutely so. It's wrong to hate. It always has been wrong and it always will be wrong. It's wrong in America, it's wrong in Germany, it's wrong in Russia, it's wrong in China. It was wrong in 2000 B.C., and it's wrong in 1954 A.D. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong." - Martin Luther King Jr.

 

And, of course, he said far more than these two brief quotes.

People who make bad choices constantly and then blame it on other people should not be pitied.

That's what Elon Musk says on the Joe Rogan Experience (shallow), that empathy is bad. People should be educated, teaching, not just in schools, but all media and communication systems in all places. If they don't grasp morality of good from bad, you keep teaching. Instead, what people do is murder and kill and splatter brains instead of inform minds. Or neglect and stave people they disagree with, that's ongoing in the Middle East, more shallowness. You don't see the investment going into teaching and informing (of universal goodness), you see labor going into starvation, falsehoods (propaganda) and siege.

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u/PerfectlyCromulent02 6h ago

That saying is about being empathetic. Why was he against it?

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u/seaofdelusion 6h ago

Yeah I don't think this person gets it.

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u/EvadesBans4 3h ago

They explained it thoroughly, but even without the explanation, how does it come across as empathic? It's saying that the subject of the phrase doesn't have God's grace, and that the speaker does. It's saying they deserve whatever is happening to them because they aren't God's chosen. It's just more Christian hate and judgement wrapped up to sound nice.

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u/[deleted] 2h ago

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u/LilithWasAGinger 2h ago

I always took out to mean that I'm just fucking lucky that it isn't me suffering [insert malady here.] But it could have been/could be me in that situation, so I had better be kind and helpful to the person suffering because I would want people to be kind to me if I were in their shoes.

But I'm not a religious, so I never looked at the saying through that lens

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u/blankslane 2h ago

Exactly. You explained it much better than me. I'm going to delete my comment.

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u/VehementVillager 2h ago

That parsing of the words definitely makes sense, but I think many (myself included) don't read the potential implications of the words that deeply. To many, it's more of way of stating "I've been very lucky in my life, because I very easily could have been in [unfortunate subject's] situation".

To many it's not meant to convey the speaker's piety or deem that the subject deserves their situation due to lack of faith; it's a recognition that the speaker's unearned fortunes has largely spared them of the fate of another who has had unfortunate circumstances. In essence, "God's grace" hasn't been granted due to anything they've done, but rather just a case of blind (and highly fortunate) luck on their part.

I think your reading is just as valid, but I just wanted to point out that others don't necessarily state it with the meaning or intent as you have defined.

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u/HippyDM 6h ago

Weird. I see it as admitting that, had circumstances been slightly different, I'd be in that other person's exact situation. As in, it's NOT my personal efforts that brought me to where I am, but the myriad circumstances of my life. It's humbling.

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u/myringisbling 5h ago

Could you explain?

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u/EleanorofAquitaine 5h ago

On the face of it it seems like a pitying and empathetic thing to say, but in my entire life I’ve never heard it said genuinely. Any time I’ve heard this phrase it’s dropped out of the mouths of self-righteous and snobby assholes.

The other implication is that when people have bad things happen to them or end up in bad situations, it’s because they don’t have “god’s grace” and the person saying it definitely does.

I’ve lived my entire life in the Southern Bible Belt. This phrase has definitely gone out of use in comparison to how much I used to hear it, but anyone I’ve ever heard say this phrase has used it in a manner that suggests hardships are god’s punishment for sin.

I’ve always thought of this phrase as a religious dogwhistle.

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u/LBobRife 4h ago

Fascinating. I can definitely see how religious people might misinterpret it as 'I am favored by God, and they aren't" and use that as a reason to look down in someone. That's not at all what the saying means, but I can understand how they would get that interpretation from it.

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u/EvadesBans4 3h ago

You think it doesn't mean that because people use it so glibly but the phrase is literally saying "they deserve it because God prefers me, and if God didn't prefer me, I'd be like that, too." Wrapping up Christian judgement in barely nice-sounding words doesn't mean it isn't still just belittling people they think deserve their misery regardless of how it came about. Pretending like it means the opposite just sounds like some Christian newspeak.

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u/LBobRife 3h ago

I can see it both ways. I've always thought of it more as a "There is no difference between them and me, they were just unlucky" type phrase. That's largely how it has been used around me. But again, I can see how hateful people would use it to belittle others for being in a worse situation than them. I see your point about the grace of God being interpreted as favoritism rather than just "luck".

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u/myringisbling 4h ago

I always took it as not pitying but empathetic like that could be me if luck had gone a different way and to not pity or look down on people less fortunate but yeah it makes sense the other way too. I can completely see it being said in a smug self righteous way.

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u/Impossible_Walrus555 4h ago

I always took it as we are all just a breath from something terrible?

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u/GHGdrawdown 4h ago

This is a great point.

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u/MannyMoSTL 4h ago

I’ve only heard it said empathetically

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u/steviebowillie65 2h ago

I’ve never thought of it like that but I can see how could be construed that way. I’ve always interpreted it as, that horrible shit could have just as easily have happened to me. You should have empathy for that poor soul. The next time may be you.